(#) MyNameOkay 2010-01-24Dang! That Was Hot Lol ^^_^^
I Especially Like How Her Dad Started Beating His Ass ;P
I Would Like To See Where This Goes If You Were To Continue ^^_^^
Author's response:) Thanks! yeah lol the dad is an asshole... i may continue with this, depending on the reveiws :P x
- Awww. I love the song and you did a great job of it. Its not exactly how I feel the song goes though. Some parts were, but some parts werent. Like the beginning is very energy in the song, theres no him sitting waiting outside for her, its more hes driving all kinds of wound up and picks her up quickly. And the line in the song about not talking with a full mouth is umm well it didnt happen in your story! lol I wouldve loved to see it happen though..
But you did say based on not exactly word for word the song.
Overall it was very very good. I do hope you consider making a few more chapters. You have very good characters here.
The dialogue between her dad and him was a little awkward though. I remember getting caught with a guy once and it sounded nothing like that. lol. Usually in high intensity scenes like that, theres not too much dialogue, just a lot of cursing.
Author's responseThanks for reveiwing :) yeah i know i kinda changed some bits from the song but it was only to make it more my story instead of me just copying the song... lol i know i missed the mouth full bit out, and i didn't actually mean to i read your reveiw and i was like, "shit how could i foget that part?!" haha... oh well stupid me :)
- Ohh, I love it. You should DEFINITELY continue. I loveee the song too!
Author's responsewow i had no idea people were still reading this! lol... I'm not sure if i'll continue, i'm pretty wraed up in my other story 'Photograph' just now, so if i do conitinue this it won't be for a while. I'll see how things go, thanks for reveiwing! :) xo
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