FicWad

He gave me a lame ass excuse about being late for detention before telling me he wasn’t going to be able to come over afterwards either but that he’d ‘call me later‘… It was all very strange.

I went home and ate the left over pizza, which only made me more nauseous then I was from dealing with Gerard. I found myself popping a few pills from Lias stash before collapsing on the couch. I faintly heard the phone ringing around 930 but didn’t have the energy to get up to answer it. It might not have even been him…

I must’ve popped one too many pills though cause I woke up late once more. Like really late. I don’t know why I was falling back into my old drug habits. I didn’t mean to, I was just having such a hard time holding everything together and I had no one to talk to about it either..

I called the school this time though so I wouldn’t end up in suspension again before heading up the block. I didn’t even want to go but I did.

I got there just as third period was starting. I immediately asked Mikey how Gerard was but he just gave me some lame ass answer like he was the same as always… I then asked Ray in social studies what was up with him and he told me to just ask him myself at lunch if I thought something was up. He didn’t mean it in a bad suspicious way, more like a I don’t know what the hell you want from me cause theres nothing going on and youre way too paranoid kinda way.

So that’s what I figured I’d do. Maybe Ray was right and I was just being overly paranoid or maybe I wasn’t. But Id see soon enough, cause the class just flew by. We were waiting for Gerard at the end of the hall by the exit doors now. I figured if he started acting all funny Id just call him out on it, Ray here or not, Id ask him.

Gerard appeared in the hallway and gave me a small smile as he approached us. “Late again huh?” He teased me as he held the door open. I couldn’t help but smile as I went through it. This was more like it…

“I overslept.” I suggest as my excuse and he didn’t say anything as we walked to Rays car.

“You know I called you last night.” He paused before we got in. “You didn’t answer.” He says and it was almost like he was waiting on my explanation.

“I must’ve been asleep.” I shrugged and he arched his eyebrow up like he didn’t really believe me. “I was very tired.” I added and he grinned a little as he tilted my chin up to him. He squeezed my cheeks together smushing my lips a little as he leant forward and smacked a kiss on to them.

“Were you?” He sorta chuckled as I wriggled my face from his grip.

“Yea.” I shrugged again and he once more tilted my face up.

“Lay off the pills huh.” He said softly and I looked away a little ashamed. I didn’t think I looked so strung out, but I didn’t really spend a lot of time in front of the mirror before I left the house. I know I felt strung out and it must’ve really showed.

“Okay.” I said weakly before getting in the car. Ray announced we were going to Lias and I cringed a little. She was still pissed at me from yesterday but I had no money for lunch so I couldn’t really demand we go somewhere else and ask them to pay for my lunch so I kept my mouth shut.

We pulled up in front of her house and for a second I felt a wave of relief, her car wasn’t outside…

“I don’t think shes home.” I tried not to sound too excited.

“Naw I just talked to her.” Ray grumbled a little as we got out and made our way to the door. Gerard went to ring the bell but Ray had reached over and jiggled the door handle and it was open so we just went inside. “Lia!” He called out and she peeked her head out of the kitchen. “Wheres your car?” He sorta yelled at her and she smirked.

“In the garage.” She tells him and I rolled my eyes a little. She was not suppose to park in the garage. That was her moms spot. The only reason she parks there is to piss her off. “Hi Ray… hello Gerard.” She says in a somewhat fake and sickly sweet tone. She purposely ignored me and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Lia come on.” I sighed and she just continued to stare past me.

“Did you hear something?” She directs to the guys and I sighed a little louder now.

“Lia don’t be pissed come on with the silent treatment already.” I whined and she rolled her eyes a little.

“You know what maybe we should go somewhere else.” Gerard says grabbing my hand in his and Lia just lost it.

“What the hell Ellie!” She shrieked at us. I guess she was done with the silent treatment. “Are you with him now?!” She demanded and I nodded. I mean if she had asked me earlier I might’ve told her I wasn’t sure, but he kissed me before we got in Rays car, we were together I was sure of it. “Oh this is just fucking great. Just what I need!” She tossed her hands up in the air and I followed her into the kitchen.

Something was wrong. But not just her being pissed about me hooking up with Gerard, or whatever nonsense had happened between her and Gerard and Ray. Something was really bothering her. I watched her slam around the containers of Chinese food on the table and I could see the glazed over look she gets in her eye when shes trying not to cry.

“Everything ok?” Ray asks her as we sat. I guess he could see it too.

“Yup.” Lia smacked her lips together as she said it and Ray shrugged as he began to eat. Maybe he couldn’t really see it. Or maybe he just didn’t know her as well as I did. Lia and I were incredibly close. I had forgotten how close till this very moment and I swore to myself I would not lose touch with her again, no matter how old we got.

“Lia-” I began to say and then I looked over at the table. Gerard was sitting in the chair to her left. Ray was across from her. I could’ve walked around the table and went and sat in the chair between them but instead I scooted over and smushed myself onto Lias chair with her. “Mittens von taterberg.” I was surprised as I heard myself say the words. I couldn’t believe I remembered them.

Lia and I had invented a secret language when we were kids. Well it wasn’t as much of a secret language as it was just gibberish. We would use it when we wanted to talk about someone who was there with out them knowing it. Mittens was left, as I was notorious for always losing my left mitten as a child. No matter how my mom would pin it to me, Id always come home with out it. So mittens, gloves, anything you would wear on your hands was referring to the person to our left, which was Gerard.

Tater was tater tots, Lias least favorite food. The von and the bergs was cause we always thought German sounded exotic so we would toss vons and bergs onto words to make it flow better.

Lia smiled a little amused. She knew what I was asking. If this was about Gerard and her simply not liking him. “Cause sheep really needs mittens.” I added. Sheep was me, any barnyard animal was me actually…

Both Gerard and Ray were giving me a funny look now. I guess cause of the gibberish falling from my mouth but I just ignored them and took a drink from Lias glass of soda on the table.

“No Ellie. I mean yeah but.” Lia sighed a little. “Winter froze over last night, like hell freezing over bad.” She tells me and I frowned a little. Winter was her mom. They must’ve gotten into it pretty bad. “And the scuba man-” She paused. That was her dad. “He went all helium balloon.” She tells me and I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. Her parents got in a fight last night, and her dad left and didn’t come home yet…

“Oh Lia.” I sighed a little and Gerard reached over and lifted Lias glass from the table. He leant over and smelt it almost as if he was trying to figure out if it was spiked with something and I tried not to smile at him. “Its gonna be ok.” I told Lia but I knew I was lying. Her dad was cheating on her mom but there was nothing I could really say about it.

“Yeah but whatever.” Lia tried to shrug it off. She didn’t really want to talk about it, especially not like this and in front of Gerard and Ray… “So what the hell is a sheep gonna do with mittens huh?” She snickered and I frowned a little as I pulled my arms from her.

“Sheep likes mittens.” I lowered my voice down and she shook her head no.

“Maybe but what happens when spring rolls around huh?” She challenged me. “And you no longer need mittens.” She tells me and I frowned.

“Maybe Im moving to Iceland.” I shifted a little on the chair next to her and she snickered a little looking over at Gerard.

“Dude.” He nodded towards Ray and ray just shrugged like he didn’t know what the hell we were babbling about.

“Mittens are gonna end up in the lost and found with the rest of your crap Elle.” She reached over and grabbed her cigarettes taking the last one from the pack before tossing the empty pack back on to the table in disgust.
“No that’s not true.” I said weakly and then I stupidly looked to Ray and Gerard for some support. “People change right?” I asked them and Ray sorta shrugged.

“Uh yeah I guess but um anyway Lia did you call Ted today?” Ray spoke up and I don’t know if he really wanted to know or was just trying to change the conversation into a comprehendible one.

“Aw she didn’t tell you Teddy went on vacation.” Gerard laughed and Lia gave him a look. She shifted her eyes to me but I wouldn’t look at her. I wasn’t gonna tell her that Gerard knew about teddy the bear. We had just made up in a way…

“So wait, whos gonna-?” Ray shook his head a little. No teddy meant no supply as far as he knew.

“Oh don’t worry about it Ray.” Lia began to grin a little. “Ernie is going to fill in.” She announced and I widened my eyes at her. Ernie was my elephant. She could not be serious.

“Lia.” I gasped a little but she shook her head firmly.

“No and in fact Elle and I are getting together with him tonight.” She announced and I pouted a little. She was really serious. It was a lot of work to convert a stuffed animal to a drug dealer. More then you would think actually. You had to fuck with the stitches, re sew it a little so you can get it open and closed easy, pull out the exact amount of stuffing so that the pills wouldn’t rattle inside if you shook it, but leaving enough so that it still held its shape when you filled it with dime bags…

“What the hell for?” Ray cried out a little annoyed. I should’ve never told him Lia had cheated him. He was getting all worked up now.

“Were gonna have a tea party.” Lia smirked and my eyes lit up a little at the thought. We hadn’t had a tea party with Ernie since we were five.

“Oooh really?” I cooed and she laughed.

“Hey Ray where are my cigarettes?” She turned her attention back on to Ray and he shifted a little uncomfortably.

“I didn’t bring them.” He says and now I was shifting uncomfortably.

“Why the hell not?” She cried out at him… Oh this was great. Ray was doing what I suggested he do- cut her off, and I really did not want to witness it…

“Um Lia can I borrow 20 bucks?” I interrupted them and she sorta made a face at me. “Im serious I lost my purse and I just need a few bucks till I, I don’t know-” I start to babble and she waved her hand at me to shut up.

“Theres some cash in the ashtray in my car.” She blew me off as she turned her attention back on to Ray… “I told you in the morning to bring them! Ray I don’t believe this” She began to rant on him and I took that as my cue to leave.


I didn’t realize Gerard had followed me out till I was bending over Lias front seat trying to pull the few crumbled bills from the ashtray and I felt his hands on my ass. I jumped a little startled and he laughed.

“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you.” He says as I stood back upright.

“Mmm its okay.” I spun back around to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck I wanted to kiss him but he just kept talking.

“Uh what was all that about before?” He says and I scrunched my face a little.

“About Ernie?” I asked.

“No before that.” He says and I thought back a little.

“About the mittens?” I asked cautiously. I really didn’t want to have to explain all that to him, but I would.

“No.” He chuckled. “Before that.” he sighed a little and I felt my heart sink a little at the next words he spoke. “I mean why did you tell Lia we were together…”