FicWad

I just stood there for a second not sure if I was hearing him right…why did I tell Lia we were together? Is that what he was asking me?

“Are you saying we’re not?” I bit my lip a little as I said it and he gave me a look like I was being ridiculous.

“Elle.” He sighed a little and pulled me closer to him. “You know what Im saying.” He lowered his voice down but I really didn’t. “I dunno why you had to tell her.” He mumbled as he buried his face into my neck.

“Well why not?” I asked him. “I mean shes my friend, shes gonna see.” I sorta laughed and he sighed a little as he pulled back from me, mumbling something about her and Ray and their plan. “Gerard please, let it go.” I shushed him. We talked about this already. “Plus it sounds like Rays got it under control.” I tried not to smile as I said it. Even in the garage you could hear Lia faintly carrying on. They weren’t gonna last much longer…

“Mm well good thing were out here then huh.” He yanked me back closer to him and I giggled as he ran his hand up the back of my skirt.

“Gerard stop.” I said softly making a weak attempt to push his hand down. I couldn’t stop him. I loved his hands on me as much as he did. He started lifting me slightly as my lips melted on to his. I had my back up against Lias car and he was grinding into me softly as he slid his hands around under my skirt. He was pulling my panties down and God knows I would’ve fucked him right there in Lias garage if the door didn’t swing open fiercely.

“Jesus Christ pull up your panties Elle.” Lia cried out and I looked over at her and Ray in the doorway. She was smirking, Ray looked away. He was respectful like that.

“Fuck off Lia.” Gerard yelled back at her as I scrambled to pull them up.

“No you fuck off and take him with you.” Lia replies nodding a nasty look in Rays direction before going back inside and slamming the door behind her.

“Well that went well.” Ray sorta chuckled as we got back in his car and I tried not to smile. “Shit Elle you think this is really gonna work?” He asked me and I shrugged a little.

“Yeah I think so.” I told him and he frowned a little in uncertainty. “Just sleep with one eye open for a while.” I added and Gerard laughed.

We got back to school and I was expecting Gerard to walk me to English class but he didn’t. He didn’t even kiss me goodbye or anything. He just squeezed my hand a little and told me he’d see me in art class. But I wasn’t going to art class cause I had another appointment to be analyzed by Ms Roberts so I was more then on edge when I made my way back to my locker at the end of the day… I collapsed against it and Gerard looked over me. “Hey.” He says plainly and I just lost it.

“What the fuck! Why you all shady?” I demanded and he made a face at me.

“Shady?” He repeats back.

“Yes shady.” I emphasized the word more. He knew what it meant. “What happened to I will always tell you the truth and you will respect me?” I remind him and he looked at me like he had not a clue what I was saying.

“Huh?” Was all he replied and I sighed in annoyance. And then it hit me. We never had that conversation. I mean we did, just not in this universe.

“Oh yeah ..” I shook my head a little “Well let me tell you something Gerard.” I waved my finger at him. “If were gonna be together that’s what its got to be. I wont ever lie to you and you have to respect me.” I tell him and he licked his lips a little as he looked at me.

“Ok.” He says cautiously and I shook my head no.

“No not okay.” I poked him roughly in the chest. “You think respecting me is fucking me when no ones around but in public-” I cried out and he widened his eyes like I was amusing him.

“You want me to fuck you in public?” He asked and for a spilt second a smile passed on my lips at the thought of it…

“No! I mean…” I shook my head a little trying to get my focus back. “That’s not what I’m saying and you know it.” I tell him and he shifted his eyes a little.

“Elle.” He sighed and I reached over and grabbed his jacket and pulled him closer to me. I wanted him to kiss me and he knew it, but he wouldn’t… “Im not…” He stammered a little and he shifted his eyes once more. This time I followed his gaze and saw who he was looking at.

Paul.

It was always Paul. “Holy shit didn’t I tell you not to worry about him!” I cried out and he exhaled a little like he didn’t want to get into it. “No, we have an understanding.” I tried to tell him but it was like the words were just going in one ear and out the other. “Aw fuck this.” I declared giving up as I grabbed him slamming him against the lockers. He knocked into the door and it slammed shut loudly as I forced my mouth on his, ramming my tongue into his for a few seconds. I pulled back and glanced over my shoulder at Paul who was smirking at us, but silent….

“Okay?” I asked Gerard and he smiled a little. “You don’t want to wave to him?” I teased and Gerard laughed a little before asking me exactly what did I have on Paul. I told him to come over and see for himself but he said he couldn’t. Ray had another angle on getting that gibson guitar and he had promised to go with.

But he did drive me home, and since Lia was coming over for our threesome with Ernie, I figured it wouldn’t be a totally crappy night. At least I wouldn’t be alone. But I should’ve known better. It seems like my destiny is to be alone…



Lia of course didn’t knock, just let herself in, which was cool and all cause I didn’t want to get up. I had set myself up in bed with my ankle propped up and my school books all spread out, which she smirked at of course.

I had decided before hand that I wasn’t going to get high with her, not just cause of what Gerard said. And in all fairness he didn’t say lay off drugs, just the pills, but still. And it started out good. I mean Lia didn’t want to be getting high either, she was intent on converting Ernie the elephant to a future of misdemeanors, but then we realized there was one too many dime bags to fit in his trunk, so the only logical thing we could do was smoke one.

But the more we smoked the more we decided his trunk was bent at an unnatural angle, so she took one more out to even it out and she was finishing up the last few hits of it from her pipe now as we curled up on my bed. She had shut almost all the lights in the house on me. I had had them running 24-7 it seemed since my papa died.

“Fuck this Im shutting this one too.” She declared as she stood up.

“No not mine Lia.” I protested as she went over to the light switch on the wall. “It’ll be too dark.” I whined and she made a face as she flicked it off anyways. She couldn’t sleep in the light and I couldn’t sleep in the dark. Not that we were even going to sleep yet.

“Relax Ellie the hall light is on.” She tells me opening my door up a bit wider. It was almost the same as the nightlight but not really. She got back in my bed and curled up next to me.

“Lia Im hungry.” I whined. I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch and smoking that weed was just making it worse. Lia just laughed though.

“Go to sleep Elle.” She tells me and I pouted a little. I was too hungry to sleep.

“But I really want some french fries.” I could feel my mouth watering at the thought of them. “Come on Lia go get me some fries.” I nudged her and she groaned a little. I don’t know if she was trying to sleep or was just being a bitch about it, but she wouldn’t move. “Come on I bet the drive through‘s still open.” I continued to whine and she sat up in bed a little.

“Ellie Im not getting you fries.” She exclaimed and I sighed in annoyance. What kinda friend was she. Who gives a hungry girl a case of the munchies anyways…

“Gerard would get me fries.” I grumbled to myself and she instantly became pissed off.

“Fuck him!” She cried out and then even though it was dark I could see her smirking. “Oh wait you already did.” She grumbled a little as she tossed herself back down next to me in bed.

“Lia.” I said her name softly and she rolled over a little to face me.

“No Ellie I really don’t get this at all.” She tells me. “I mean one day youre all ‘oh my Paul is coming home‘.” She mimics my voice and I tried not to smile. “And the next- like literally the next day you wake up and dump his ass!” She cried out and I took a deep breath in as I just stared at her not sure of what to say. “Not that Im complaining.” She added. “You know what I think of him but damn…” She shook her head a little.

“Yeah I know.” I sighed. I found myself wondering if I should just tell Lia everything. If she would even believe me, we were so high, I don’t know that I would even believe me…

“And then its all Gerard this Gerard that.” She continued to carry on. “Out of nowhere!” She declared and I shook my head a little at her. She was wrong.

“No.” I try to correct her. “It wasn’t out of nowhere.” I tell her and she arched her eyebrow up challenging me. “Gerards liked me for a long time.” I point out and she rolled her eyes a little. “Really Lia, I knew it, you did too.” I lied, I had not a fucking clue.

“So.” She says and I struggled to find the words to try to explain this to her.

“Ok Lia its like mmm.” I paused a moment. “Okay its like you know what it feels like to have someone there and theyre always there and then one day it just clicks. And it all falls into place and you just know its them. You can just see them.” And as I said it I wasn’t sure if I was describing the first time in photo lab all those years ago I actually saw Gerard for Gerard, or if I was talking about my Bobby…

“Um no.” Lia replied with a hint of anger in her voice.

“Lia.” I sighed as she shifted away from me.

“Why not me Elle.” I hear her say softly and I moved closer to her.

“What?” I asked her not sure if I heard her correctly. Why not her? I wanted to tell her it would happen for her one day, that she would find her love but I didn’t get a chance.

She rolled over briskly and now her face was just inches from mine… “Why don’t you see me Elle?” She said softly and before I could answer her- she kissed me.