FicWad

I wish someone would tell me this was all a dream that I would wake up any minute, and that Gerard would still be here. That never happen I am still waiting though I will not believe that he is gone, he cannot be gone. I know he is still in his room he has to be. If he is here then why isn’t he in his room with me, I have not left his room even though the nurse keep throwing me out. After three days, the nurse gave up on trying to keep me away. Maybe the asylum his at wont have enough room for him and he will come back here were he belongs. I should not think like that he needs to get better even if it is miles away from me.


I can still smell his scent on his pillow I know it is weird but it is the only thing that reminds me of him. I want him back here I want him to know how much I do care for him, and that I never meant anything I said. I never hated him I could never no matter what I said I never hated him. If I could go back in time, I would change what happen and just maybe he would still be here.


Sometimes I go outside thinking Gerard is still there and that his still on top of the wall like always, but ever time I go out there his never there. I broke down five times I hated myself for breaking down, I should be happy his getting help but being selfish and wanting him here.


Let’s face it I’m lost without him for the first time I have no one to come too when I’m feeling sad or when the lights go out there’s no one for me to run to, be in someone’s arms letting me know everything will be alright. Holding me never letting me go, I am alone now every time I go insane the nurses send me to the room.


I no longer care for getting better I might as well get use to living like this, the only person I wanted to show I could get better was Gerard and now that he is gone I no longer want to get better. It is funny thinking all my life I’ve been here I never wanted to met someone in fear they might hurt me, but meeting Gerard change me. I let someone in I let someone hug me without going insane, and for the first time I trusted someone. I know in the past I said I would never trust him or anyone else again, but knowing he was not his fault, change that.


Trusting anyone else, I do not think that will happen there was only one person I trust and that is Gerard I do not care to trust anyone else. I’ll always be the insane Frank and not the normal Frank I always wanted to be, I often thought about what life would be like if I did get better no longer went insane I bet that would be a nice world. I could live as a normal person I could finally leave this asylum I could be on my own. All of that change when Gerard left since then I no longer thought about it.


Maybe I should give it a try to change I can show Gerard that I did change but I doubt I will ever see him again I know he said we would meet again but people always break their promises I learn that the hard way. For now, I am just going to lay here on his bed and maybe tomorrow I will not cry as much.



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