FicWad

No matter how hard I thought and no matter how much I planned, I couldn't find anyway to escape Ray. Ditching school was completely out of the question for me. I was working hard to try to get a scholarship into college. A scholarship was really my only hope of going to college. My mom obviously didn't have any extra money right now, and even if she did, I knew better than to think that there was a possibility that she might spend it on me.

If I wasn't going to ditch school, there wasn't any other way to get away from Ray. True, there were other schools where I lived, but I couldn't reach any of the other ones by walking. So really, I had no choice but to return to the school day after day and endure the torture Ray put me through every night.

Even school was getting hard for me now. I was so distracted by my mother and Ray that it was getting pretty hard to concentrate in class and pay attention to the example problems. Trying to fit homework in at night was just about impossible. After all, my energy and willpower was completely drained when I reached home in the dark after being raped by Ray. There was just no fucking way anyone could get me to do school work at that point in time. And the worst of my school situation was that James just wouldn't leave me alone. No matter what I did, he always persisted after me.

I had just sat down in geometry Monday morning when I heard approaching footsteps next to my usual desk in the corner. At first, I thought it might be Ray. He and I both had the same geometry class and he was probably the only one brave enough to sit by a freak like me. There were a lot of weird rumors going me. I had sort of become known as the school recluse and a lot of people thought I was some strange "gothic witch" since I was always dressed in black. The only reason I was dressed in black was because blood never shows through black.

But when I looked up to see who had taken the seat next to me that Monday morning, I was completely shocked to see James. When I caught his eye, he gave me a small, innocent smile and sat down at the desk next to me. I quickly whipped my gaze away from him and returned to pretending to study my text book, hoping that James wouldn't try to speak to me. For a good fifteen minutes, we sat in complete silence.

Unfortuantely, James finally decided to speak after those fifteen minutes, ruining my peace. In a soft voice, he whispered, "Olivia?" I narrowed my eyes and pretended not to hear him, scooting to the left of my chair so I was as far away from him as possible. James wasn't about to give up though. He slid his desk closer to mine and whispered in a louder tone, "Olivia!"

I still didn't respond. I knew I looked like the world's most stuck up, snobby girl, but that wasn't really my fault. I was scared of James and of what he might do to me. There was no way I was going to talk to him, because talking always leads to friendship. Friendship with James was something that was just not going to happen in my future.

James still wouldn't give up though. He moved his desk so close to mine that we were sitting only millimeters apart. At this point, I was thinking about raising my hand and asking Mrs. Anderson to do something about James. Surely she could get him to move to another desk so he would stop harassing me!

When James called my name for the third time, his thigh accidentally brushed against mine, sending sparks flying through my leg. It was the weirdest feeling. It wasn't at all like what I felt when Ray tried to glue his legs to mine. That feeling was pain. This feeling was certainly not pain. This feeling was...pleasure? And maybe longing? God, what the hell was happening to me? I glanced down at where my leg was touching James' and quickly jerked away from him, disgusting at my uncalled for feelings.

Knowing that I was going to have to answer him sooner or later, I swung around angrily in my chair and looked James full in the face for the first time. When I spoke, my voice came out a lot louder than I expected as I hissed, "What do you want with me? Can't you just fuck off and leave me alone for the love of god?"

Of course, I had to say this just as Mrs. Anderson strode into the classroom. Her gaze went right to the back of the classroom to where James and I were sitting in the corner. She marched through the rows of chairs and to the very back row of desks so she was standing right in front of James and me. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously as she looked from James to me, "What's going on here, you two? Olivia, you know you're not suppose to swear in class."

"Sorry," I mumbled, looking down in humiliation. James didn't say a word. Mrs. Anderson finally noticed how close James was sitting to me and frowned, saying, "James, move your desk back over to the proper position. If you keep harassing Olivia, I'm going to have to separate you two. But really, you should know better. I expect no more trouble from you."

With that said, Mrs. Anderson strode back up to the front of the classroom and started the lecture on vectors as if nothing had happened a moment earlier. I had wished that Mrs. Anderson had made James switch desks. There was something else that was starting to bother me about James now. I wasn't just scared of him; I was scared of what I was feeling for him. My feelings were just plain disgusting and needed to die.

Luckily, James didn't try to talk to me for the rest of the class. I could feel him giving me sideways glances all during the lecture though. His looks were making me uncomfortable and for some unknown reason, I found myself smoothing my hair whenever I noticed him looking at me. When class was finally dismissed, I grabbed my stuff, smashed it into the bottom of my bag and hurried out of the classroom as fast as possible.

James was just as fast as me and was waiting just outside the door to the geometry class when I exited. I halted in the doorway as I shot a nervous look at him. I was like a timid rabbit; ready to flee at any moment's warning. When James didn't do anything, I took a tentative step forward and emerged into the hallway. Just when I thought he was going to leave me alone, I realized he was walking right next to me and was opening his mouth to speak, "Olivia, I know you seem to hate me for reasons that I don't know, but you've gotta talk to me. Whatever happened that night after we first met? You've changed so much since then. Can't you tell me? I think you need help. Don't take that the wrong way though, okay?"

I gave him an awkward glance and tried to think of some lie I could say to him. As I was contemplating this, a smooth, lilting voice jutted into our conversation, "Why hello Hetfield. I see you've met little Miss Olivia here. I need to escort her to social studies next. It's a pleasure seeing you though." And with that, Ray grabbed my shoulder and began steering me away from James and towards the social studies classroom. As much as I hated Ray, I found myself the slightest bit grateful to him for saving me from James. I still don't know what I would've said to James' question to this day.

~ ~ ~ ~

I didn't see James for the rest of the day. Actually, I didn't really see anyone I knew for the rest of the day. When school let out, I slowly made my way down the crowded hallways and outside. I was no longer in a hurry to get outside. The only thing that awaited me outside was the ancient oak tree where I always met Ray. Taking my time, I slowly made it outside and walked to my destination. As usual, Ray was waiting for me there with that sadistic, little smile on his face.

Everything about him disgusted me now. I hated the way his hair shone in the sunlight and the way his eyes glistened menacingly. And when I saw his body, all I thought of it was that it was a terrible machine that was made for crushing the life out of me. Of course, I could never say any of this aloud though. I had to keep everything inside.

Ray took my hand like a lover takes the hand of his girl, and began striding cheerfully down the road, whistling a little tune. I really wished he wouldn't whistle and act so cheerful. How could he be so happy when he was leading me to my grave? As usual, we proceeded down the road and rounded a few corners until we reached our usual alley.

As soon as we were there, Ray commanded for me to lie down. I immediately did as I was told not unlike a servant being told a command by her master. While I was lying down on my back, Ray fiddled with his ugly black video camera. After a few minutes of monkeying around with it, Ray's thin lips spread into an evil smile and he set the camera on the ground. I didn't know what he had set the video camera to do, but I knew that it certainly wouldn't be good.

I stared at it suspiciously as Ray pulled off his clothing and then proceeded to rip off mine. As he was struggling with my pants, I dared to ask a single question, "What did you do to that video camera?" Ray unzipped my jeans and I saw an evil glint shine in his eye as he said, "It's really none of your business, girl. But remember, as long as you keep quiet about our little 'sessions' together, there's nothing you need to worry about at all."

Knowing that Ray wasn't going to tell me what he was going to do with the video camera, I lapsed into silence and closed my eyes to prepare myself for the usual rape that was sure to follow. As Ray slipped off my jeans and lace panties, he raised an eyebrow at me and stated, "I saw you with that Hetfield kid today." I made no reply to that. That wasn't really any of Ray's business. Besides, it wasn't like I was going around pleading for James to stalk me or anything.

Ray went on as he tossed my clothes into the usual corner, "What was he asking you?" I shrugged and whispered through a voice thick with nerves, "He just said that he thinks I need help. He probably thinks that I'm a psycho like most of the school thinks I am. Of course, thanks all thanks to you."

Ray laughed satanically and ran his greasy fingers through my stringy, brown hair, "You can thank me all you want for that, my dear. Tell me though, do you have any interest in this James fellow at all? Like in the same interest that we share?" My eyes popped open at his question and I stared at him in disgust. What did he think I was? A whore?

"You actually think I want James to sexually abuse me like you do? Do you actually think I'd ever want another guy to fuck me after what I've been through with you?" my voice came out as a low hiss. Ray seemed a little surprised by my action, but he just shrugged and stated, "Well, most girls want to have sex with their boyfriends, but again, you're not like most girls."

Figuring the conversation was at an end, I closed my eyes once more and waited for Ray to start to thrust into me like he usually did. So I was completely taken off guard when Ray said, "Open your eyes. Let's try something new today."