The Great Boob Fairy
It was extremely difficult for Link and I to get out of Gerudo Valley. Instead of travelling across Hyrule to get to the Kokiri Forest, we decided to go to Lon Lon Ranch. It was early morning, so the ranch was open. We were on Lightning and Epona when we entered the ranch. Fortunately for us, Talon was at the entrance washing a cow. Link and I got off our horses and just collapsed on the ground.
I woke up in a nice, fluffy bed, but there was a smell of chickens lingering in the air. I sat up slowly and all the aches and pains surged through my body. I lay back down, slamming my body against the bouncy mattress.
I tried to sit up again, but moved with caution. I was able to get up after a lot of pain and looked around. I was in a small room which had a small, round coffee table in it. I looked at my feet and saw Lux sleeping soundly. To my left was another bed and there was Link. At Link’s feet was Zucchini, who was curled in a small ball.
I suddenly remembered what had happened. The whole battle that took place in Gerudo Valley and helping Ganondorf’s sister escape; I remembered all of that. I had some trouble breathing for my lungs felt sore. I lifted up my shirt just a little and saw that I had bruises on my ribs. On my arms were bruises and cuts. I decided to lay back down a bit and just relax.
I lay on my side, but became uncomfortable. There was something in my pocket, so I reach under the covers and retrieved the object. It was a Pokeball and I started to remember what was inside. There was that puppy that Ganondorf had kicked. I pressed the middle button of the Pokeball and it grew. I threw the ball and the puppy came out. She was limping as she walked around the room.
I got up from the bed slowly and moved my legs out from under the covers. My naked feet touched the cold, wooden floor which creaked as I put pressure on it. The puppy sat still and watched with heavy eyes as I came to see her.
“Her girl,” I whispered.
The puppy actually came right to me for it was probably looking for some sort of comfort. I petted it’s short, black fur and touched the bones that it wore on the side of its body. The muzzle of the dog was an orange color and so was its underbelly. I touched its dry nose with my other hand and moved my way up to her ears and started to scratch them. She seemed to like it.
After I stopped petting her, she began to whine. I asked her what was wrong, but she just began to howl and cry. She sounded like a puppy that had lost its mother, but I had no idea how to help it in that way. I tried to calm her down, but her cries eventually caused a stir in the room. Zucchini shot right up and stared at the dog while Lux just lazily walked over.
“Houndour,” It whined.
“What was that?” I asked.
“Houndour,” it cried again.
Lux had always said Raichu when he talked and Zucchini always said Scyther, so this puppy’s Pokemon name must have been Houndour.
“Where did you get that thing?” Link asked harshly. It was rather bizarre that he had an attitude despite the fact that he just woke up.
“Well, Ganondorf was offered this puppy,” I said, “but he turned it away and actually kicked it.”
“Ash, we have too many of these things following us around,” Link said as he got himself out of the bed. He walked over to the small coffee table which had his floppy green hat on it.
His hat reminded me of Max, and I started to panic. “Where’s Max?” I asked quickly.
“He’s alright,” Link said. “You didn’t bring your hat to Gerudo Valley, so he’s at my house. Navi decided to go over and check on him, but he should be okay.”
I let out a sigh of relief and looked down at the puppy. Her black eyes looked sad and lost as she stared at the ceiling.
“What should I name you?” I asked her and she looked up. I wasn’t sure if she understood me, but it seemed that she did. “How about licorice?” I suddenly thought of this medicine that was produced back at home that smelled and tasted like black licorice and it made you fall asleep or whatever. It was nasty and I rejected the name licorice just so that medicine would never plague my mind again.
“Let’s scratch that one,” I said.
“How about coffee bean?” Link asked.
“’Eh, there ya go,” I said. “See, you can do this whole naming spiel.”
Link smiled as he got his sword and shield ready.
“Alright, you want the name Coffee Bean?” I asked the puppy.
“Houndour,” she said weakly, but she was nodding her head.
“Coffee Bean it is,” I said playfully. I was desperately trying to perk her up, but my attempts seemed to fail.
“So, are you ready to continue one with the journey?” Link asked.
“Yeah,” I said, “let’s go to Dodongo’s Cavern.”
“No need,” Link said and he pulled out the Goron’s Ruby. The new born sunlight that flooded through the window made the ruby shine in Link’s hand. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it because it was so beautiful.
Link put the ruby away and said, “Now, the Gorons told me of this fairy that lives in the Death Mountain. They said she has some very useful things to give us or whatever. I think we should climb up the trail and find her.”
“Okay,” I said and I slowly rose up. My back hurt since Ganondorf decided to slam me against a wall.
Link started to gather all his stuff and said, “We’ll stop by my house to get your clothes and stuff and get back with Navi and Max.”
I got back into my pajama pocket and got Coffee Bean’s Pokeball. She was still rather weak and upset, so I decided that she needed to go back in the Pokeball for I had no idea what was going to happen next. But with Link and Zucchini back with Lux and I, I really wasn’t too worried. The whole fortress event would have been a lot easier to handle if Link was there.
I had Coffee Bean return and I grabbed my sword off the table. The rest of my outfit, like my shield and tunic, were at Link’s home. As I gathered my stuff, Link put on his boots. He equipped his sword and shield and handed me my sheath, which I slung on my back and took the two ends and buckled it securely on the front of me.
“Ready to go?” Link asked with a small smile on his face.
“Yes sir,” I said and I smiled. We walked out of the bedroom and were in the main room of the Lon Lon Ranch home. Talon was sitting on the floor, drinking a bottle of milk and petting chickens. Link and I walked down the creaky wooden stairs, which caught Talon’s attention.
“Well hey, I was worried about you two,” Talon said. “You came here practically dead. It’s almost time for supper here, would you like some?”
“Uh, no thank you,” I said. “Link and I have a lot to do today, right?” I looked over at Link for approval and he nodded. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to eat at the ranch, but Talon was a very disgusting, hairy looking man, so I wasn’t quite sure how sanitary this guy actually was. I mean, the man was down there petting chickens, so something wasn’t right.
Link and I grabbed our horses that were in the stables and we mounted them once we led them outside. Lux jumped in front of me while I was on the horse and got comfy and that was my cue to take off.
I hadn’t really had anytime to just ride Lightning without rushing to go somewhere. As I rode and heard Lightning’s hooves pound against the Hyrule Field grass, I had an urge to just keep riding, but Link kept me on course to his home. The breeze smelled nice, like the beginning of spring time, but I had other things to take care of.
That’s what I always hated about video games. Why couldn’t you just stop and smell flowers, rather than go on the next mission as soon as possible? Hyrule was so different than the world back at home and I just wanted to soak it in, but I had no time to do that since fricken Zelda was having Link and I to do this crap.
We got to Link’s home and we got in his house as quickly as we could. We didn’t want to run into Mido at all during our visit, so we hurried. I changed my clothes as Link stepped outside so that he didn’t ruin my privacy. Inside, I made Navi and Max leave because I wasn’t sure if fairies could see, but if they could I sure didn’t want them to look at my stuff.
Once I was changed, I equipped my weapons and shield and stepped outside. Link was on the balcony and I smiled as I put on my floppy, green hat.
“Ready?” Link asked.
“I was born ready,” I said.
“Alright, then let’s go to Death Mountain,” Link said triumphantly.
Link and I moved out of the woods and rode across Hyrule’s vast field. It was around five o’clock, or at least the sky looked like it was five. It didn’t take us that long to get ourselves to the stairs that would lead up to Kakariko Village. We walked up them, Link on my left and Lux on my right and Zucchini was on Link’s left. I could see Max’s glow of orange light hovering around my head. We were all back together again and I realized how much I missed everyone.
Having been practically hanged, I had a different look on everything. If it wasn’t for Link, I wouldn’t be alive. I would’ve been hanged in front of Ganondorf and his peers and I wouldn’t go down in Hyrule’s history books as a hero…that is if Hyrule had history books.
We walked through the village and saw the same carpenters running around while the same fat guy stood and just screamed random nonsense. Link and I ignored them while covering our ears. It sounded to me like the fat guy was screaming louder than usual for some of his sound leaked through my hands that covered my ears.
Once we got to the Death Mountain gate, the same guard was standing there. I saw him smile beneath his helmet and he said, “Well, ‘allo there. What er my two favorite heroes up ta?”
“Well, we’re going to see a fairy or something,” I said and I continued on my way passed the gate and Link followed.
“’Ave fun, you damn, crazy kids,” the guard shouted.
I rolled my eyes and continued on with Lux on my right shoulder. I remembered that there were these creepy spider things and they were a major pain in my ass. As soon as one of those damn things started to hop our way, I used my electric powers to shock them backwards. There were at least three spiders trying to block our path, so I took them all out. I turned back and saw Link staring at me with a look of awe on his face.
“Um, Link,” I said, “are you okay?”
Link shook his head and said, “Oh, nothing. I’m just not use to seeing you use those powers, you know? They’re remarkable.”
I looked at the palm of my hand. I couldn’t even believe I had learned to control the electric powers I was given. At first, the powers were rather unmanageable, but I was actually getting use to them now. I looked up at Lux on my right shoulder and he had a huge smile on his face. Lux looked like he was proud of me or something.
We continued on up the mountain, our boots kicking up the dry mud with each step. Once we reach up to a flat area, Link pointed at a ledge.
“If we get up there, we can go to the top of the mountain and see this fairy,” Link explained. “The Gorons kept saying something about this mountain erupting randomly though, so we need to keep on our toes I guess.”
The problem was that there were two rocks blocking the path. There was a ramp that seemed to have been carved in the mountain that would help us get up this ledge, but it was corroded and there were gaps in it, which could be jumpable, but there was on rather big rock in the way.
“Well Link, what do we do about that?” I asked and I pointed at the big, gray rock.
“Good point,” Link said but with a smile on his face. “However, I am one step ahead of you.”
“How?” I asked.
“Well, when I was doing that whole Dodongo’s Cavern thing, I got a new type of weapon,” Link said smartly. Link then pulled out a small, round object. It was round and black and had a string on the top of it. I immediately realized that it was a bomb.
”Whoa,” I said in a small panic, “you need to be careful with that thing!”
“Oh, I’m not that clumsy,” Link said as he lit a match by scraping it on the bottom of his boot. Link lit the bomb with the match and I watched as the flame began to travel down towards the bomb, which probably had a lot of gun powder and other explosives inside. Link rushed to the corroded ledge with the bomb in hand and threw it up towards the rock.
Impressively, the bomb went off at the right time while in the air and it made the rock explode into a lot of pieces. Link turned and faced me with a huge smile on his face. He motioned me to follow him with his hand, so I followed him.
Up the ramp we went, jumping over the gap where the rock once stood. Lux had no problem jumping between the gaps for his hind legs were rather long, like a rabbits, so he had a lot of power in his feet. Zucchini, seeing as he was a grasshopper/praying mantis thing, could just fly over the gaps for a short period of time.
We reach the ledge using a small effort, but I had to stop. My legs hurt badly with all the jumping. I wasn’t really a jumper because it hurt my legs and feet too much. I sat on the ground as my knees were aching. I started to feel sick again because I was still having issues with my relapsing. Link sat right beside me and his eye sight was directed toward the top of the mountain.
“Why do they call it Death Mountain?” I said after a little pause. “I mean, it’s obviously a volcano.”
“I guess Death Volcano is just sort of, well, uncreative,” Link said. “It’s quite obvious that volcanoes cause people to die, so maybe the creators of the kingdom just didn’t want to be obvious jerks.”
“But mountains can cause death too,” I said.
“You’re the one that was complaining about the damn thing being called Death Mountain,” Link said.
I coughed nervously. There was more silence and things felt tense, or at least they felt tense to me. I wanted to cry so badly because it seemed like Link was angry, but in the back of my mind, I knew he wasn’t, but the reasoning didn’t reach my emotions, which were going crazy.
My crying was interrupted by the most random thing, however. All of a sudden, a loud moo burst through the silence and Link and I shot looks at each other.
“Where the hell did that come from?” I said.
Link stood up and walked over to a rock that was just sitting there on our right. He put his ear up to the rock and I could hear another faint moo.
“It sounds like it’s coming from this rock,” Link said.
“What?” I asked harshly as Link lit another bomb. “If the cow’s in the rock, you’re going to kill it by blowing the rock up.”
Link ignored me as he set his bomb on top of the rock. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me up and got me away from the bomb so I didn’t get blown up. The rock crumbled when the bomb exploded and a couple of the pieces fell into a small hole in the ground. There was a rather loud, distressed sounding moo that came from the hole. The blast must have scared the cow underground but what definitely puzzled me was the fact that there was a cow underground.
“Here, let’s hop down this hole,” Link said.
“Are you crazy!” I snapped. “What if that’s just a random black hole or something or what if you break your ankle?”
Link rolled his eyes and said, “Well, are you coming or not?”
I walked over beside him and looked down the hole. I could see a patch of grass through the hole because the sunlight bled through it. I was too scared to just jump down, so I insisted Link to go first.
“Aw, alright,” Link said
Link jumped down the hole and I peeked my head over to see if he made it in there safe. Sure enough, Link was looking up at me and waving.
“C’mon,” he said playfully, “it’s pretty safe.”
I looked over at Lux and Zucchini who heard what Link had said and came to stand beside me. Lux cheered and jumped down the hole and into Link’s arms. Zucchini looked to the side and sighed. I wasn’t sure he would have actually fit in the hole, seeing how he had those long, mantis arms. The sharp, tough wings on his back would also be a problem.
“Be careful down there!” Navi shouted and she was floating beside me with Max.
I surely didn’t want to hang out with Navi, so I sat on the ground and dangled my feet through the hole. Link cleared the way and I jumped down. When I hit the ground, I had to touch the soft, green grass otherwise I would’ve lost my balance. I stood up and brushed off my skirt that had been exposed to the speckles of dust that rustled when I landed. Max decided to float down the hole. Navi must have already been bothering him, which really didn’t surprise me.
I looked over and surely there was a cow standing there. The inside of this hole was completely hollow and it smelled extremely moist. I was afraid for the cow because eventually the hole might cave in on her. The cow just looked at Link and I, chewing on her grass and mooing occasionally.
“She must be so lonely,” I cried as Lux went and checked out this strange creature.
Link walked over and petted her. He had a sympathetic look on his face and said, “Do you think maybe she belongs to Lon Lon Ranch?”
“I don’t know, but we need to get her out of here,” I said. “No body’s here to take care of her or milk her or brush her.” The tears began to leak out of my eyes as I said this reader. They were the hot tears; the ones that made you extra tired when you cried. I just wanted to nap all of a sudden.
“Aw, calm down,” Link said. “You don’t need to cry. Jeez, you cry like every five minutes now.”
“I can’t help it,” I said and I began to bawl.
“Quit being a baby,” Link scolded and he walked over to me.
Seeing as my hormones were all out of whack, I suddenly got angry and punched Link in the face. Thus, his nose started to bleed again.
“Hey, what did you do that for?” he pleaded as he held his nose and tried to stop the bleeding.
“Oh my God,” I said and I started to cry and hug him. “Link, I am so sorry. I’m such a terrible person. Oh, I deserve to die!”
This was a terrible mess, my reader, and if anyone had jumped down the hole and saw that scene, they would think all of us were nuts. I mean, there was a mentally unstable teenager, a weird asshole in a floppy, green hat with a bleeding nose, a ball of glowing stuff floating around, a damn shrew thing with a long tail, and a cow in a hole.
Navi shot down the hole and started to yell at both of us to get out acts together. There was a lot of silence after Navi had pierced our eardrums with her sharp voice. A small moo broke the silence and the cow picked up another patch of grass and started to chew loudly, smacking its lips.
“C’mon Ash, let’s go,” Link said after a short pause. I wiped my eyes and followed him. For some reason, the sunlight that leaked through the opening lifted Link up and he ended up above ground. I motioned Lux to get on my shoulder and once he was secure I walked into the light. I felt a small lift and watched the cow eat as I went up. The cow was completely oblivious to everything.
I landed right outside of the hole and Link was standing there with one hand on his hip.
“Can we go see that fairy now?” he asked.
I nodded as Max flew out of the hole and shouted, “Hurry! I want to see the Great Fairy!”
“Why’s that?” I asked.
Navi made a weird tinkle sound and snapped, “I know why. Max, you’re a sick freak.”
I looked at Link with a confused expression on my face and he just shrugged and started to walk towards the mountain so I started to follow as well. Lux jumped off my shoulder and walked alongside Zucchini as the two fairies quarreled about something. All I heard was something about big hooters and then I subconsciously left the conversation.
Suddenly, a huge, flaming boulder landed right beside me. When it landed, there was a big boom and the ground shook a bit. Link looked over with a shocked look and then we heard some whistling above. I looked up and saw tons of flaming rocks falling from the sky.
“Holy shit!” I shouted and I grabbed Lux and started to sprint. Zucchini and Link followed both of us and Navi and Max flew in front of me. At the end of the path was a wall of thick vines and a small overhang that we could get under. We rushed towards this and got under it.
The overhang was made from the mountain so it was fairly sturdy. Some of the flaming rocks hit the overhang, but it held up. We watched patiently for the rocks to stop falling. I was expecting maybe some lava to spew out of the volcano in the mountain, but I guess it just liked to spew annoying, flaming rocks.
It was about a minute and the rock storm stopped. I peeked my head out from under the overhang and saw a clear sky above. The coast seemed to be clear, so all of us got out from underneath the overhang. I touched the vines on the wall to check how sturdy they were and found them to be fairly strong.
Skulltulas were climbing all up on the vines, so I took out my slingshot and started to fire pebbles at them. The pebbles must have really hurt because they fell straight to the ground and shriveled up. The wall seemed to be clear, so Link and I decided to climb it.
The vines would actually rather dry, which was surprising. Usually, dry vines would have cracked and broke right in our hands. I mean, I came across some vines that fell apart in my palms, but I just wiped the brown vine dust off my hands and continued forward. The wall was rather long, but we successfully scaled it.
Zucchini was the only one that couldn’t climb the wall, so Link reach in his pocket and got his Pokeball. He told Zucchini to return and the red laser shot out of the Pokeball and engulfed Zucchini. The laser returned into the ball and Link decided to keep Zucchini inside it for the time being. It was rather hard for Zucchini to follow us around seeing that he had no arms and was rather big. Zucchini was great with sword fights however, seeing as he had blades for arms.
There were two openings at this flat ground close to the mountain’s peak. One led to the inside of the volcano and the other was totally black. Max flew straight into the dark entrance so we rushed after him. His glowing, orange body provided us with some guidance as to where we were going.
The dirt path beneath our feet turned into stone for our footsteps echoed quite loudly with each step we took. I wasn’t aware of a small step that was ahead of us, so I fell onto the cold and rather wet stone floor. Light suddenly flooded the room when I made contact with the floor. I got up and saw that the walls had waterfalls on them and tiny pink and blue lights caused the waterfalls to be a different color. Ahead of us was a small pool made of stone with crystal clear water in it.
The stone path continued forward, but on the side of this path was this pure, white sand that looked like sugar. I knew it wasn’t sugar however because when my face met the stone path, some sand on this path went into my mouth. A bit farther up this path was a small step and, since Link and I could see now, we were able to step up without tripping over. Beside each of us was a small pillar made of white stone which held at the tip a reddish orange flame.
I looked at my feet and saw a Triforce etched in gold on the floor. I looked at Link, who started to take out his ocarina and stopped him.
“Let me try to play this thing,” I said. Back at the fortress, I must have played Saria’s Song right, so I wanted to take a stab at Zelda’s Lullaby. When I got out my ocarina, Max rushed close to the middle of the fountain and waited patiently. His little ball body was shaking and it seemed like he was nervous.
I put the ocarina up to my lips and started to play Zelda’s Lullaby. It basically had two of the same notes that Saria’s Song, but my only issue was finding the middle note. I fiddled around with it for about two minutes until I found the definite note. The sound coming from my ocarina was pretty disgusting, but as long as I played the damn lullaby, something good would happen. It wasn’t quality that counted in that situation…or at least that is what I thought.
The reason I thought wrong was because this disfigured woman popped out of the fountain. Her head was shaped like a pear and her jaw appeared to be broken because it was stuck to the left side of her face. Her eyes were also rather lopsided and she had legs for arms and arms for legs, but she had no torso at all, so I was confused to whether she actually had leg-arms and arm-legs.
“Oh my, God!” Max yelled and he flew behind my head.
“I played the song right,” I said and I held the ocarina up to my face. “I bet this thing really is a potato. Saria gave me a goddamn potato!”
“Here, let me play it,” Link said and he grabbed the ocarina from my hands. He began to play the lullaby and from my ocarina came a very nice, soft sound. I rolled my eyes as he finished.
The disfigured fairy suddenly turned into an orange light and all of a sudden a rather big woman was revealed and man she had the most annoying laugh in the world. She had terrible red colored hair, a mole thing, hooker-red lipstick and horrible eye shadow, long plastic nails, bushy red eye brows, and, to top it all off, she was wearing thin vines for clothes. However, I will admit, I really didn’t pay much attention to her detail the first time I met her because protruding from her vines were these mammoth sized chesticles.
“Thank you, dear boy, for saving me after that girl played that disgusting song,” the fairy said.
“Boobs,” I said, but then I quickly realized what just came out of my mouth and I said quickly, “-uh, I mean, um, oops. I’m sorry that I played the wrong norks-or well, I mean notes…”
“I forgive you, young girl,” the fairy said kindly.
“I am sorry too for Ash here is a big rack-er I mean, wreck at the moment,” Link said.
“Yeah, I have had a couple of yahoos-or wait I mean issues lately,” I said quietly. “That’s why my speech is all in jubblies-wait my speech is all in jumbles.”
Something was wrong with my speech. I kept saying things that I didn’t mean to say and I had no idea why, but subconsciously my mind was replacing words with slang words for breasts. I didn’t get it at all.
“You’re fine, children,” the fairy said. “Now, I am the Great Fairy of Death Mountain and I am here to offer you some of my magic. It’s not much, but it will aid you.”
“That sounds pretty boobies-or wait, I mean groovy,” I said and I did a little peace sign with my hand. I knew that the Great Fairy probably didn’t know what groovy meant or what a peace sign was, but I had to find some way to cover up my bad language.
“Well, my young heroes, I will let you receive my powers now,” the Great Fairy said and she stretched out her arms and then her legs, which I would have to say that the lower part of her torso was not covered by vines very well.
“Are you panty hamster-er I mean, uh, pretty damn sure that you want to give us your magic?” I asked.
“Yeah, are you sure you want to give us your mud flaps-or rather your magic…uh stuff?” Link said.
“Yes children, now close your eyes,” the Great Fairy said.
I shut my eyes tight because I didn’t want to see much more of this fairy lady. Thankfully, since she was called the Great Fairy, she must’ve been the only one in Hyrule, so we wouldn’t have to see her much more. I felt myself be lifted off the ground for a couple of seconds, but my feet safely returned to the stone floor.
“Now children, take out your swords and focus all of your power being in your blade,” the Great Fairy said. “Once you feel that all of your power is in that blade, spin around and magic will do its worst to your enemies.”
Link and I walked towards the middle and onto the sand to try out our new power. It took me a couple tries to get all of my focus together and actually get the magic to come out of my blade, but it worked. Link had a harder time concentrating and he was still trying it when I went back to the Great Fairy.
“Why is the boy having trouble?” the Great Fairy asked.
“Ah, he’s just having trouble with his headlights-or, um, I mean he’s having trouble with his head, um, the inside of his head…where uh, people…think,” I said slowly. “See we humans think with our heads. He just has to work on his sweater muffins. Or wait! I mean his focus spins…”
There was an awkward pause between me and the Great Fairy so I said, “Hey Link, we can work on that later. How about we speak with the Great Fairy here, so we aren’t nude chests-er rude guests I mean.”
Link looked a bit disappointed so I said, “The trick to using that power is using your flapdoodles, or your noodle is what I meant to say.”
“Well, whatever,” Link said all gloomy like. “We should probably schlobes, or well…go.”
“Yes, you look tired my children,” the Great Fairy said. “Go and get some rest, okay? You look awfully tired.”
“Yeah, we need to go find dairy pillows,” I said, but I quickly rebounded, “I mean fluffy pillows. So we can lay our heads on them so we can count some bearded clams-er I mean, we could count free range lambs.”
“Yes, that’s what we humans do when we go to sleep,” Link said. “It helps us get to sleep faster and all.”
“Well, do enjoy yourselves and remember, don’t let us down,” the Great Fairy said.
“We’ll make you monkey mound,” Link said.
“Yes, very proud,” I said to cover up Link’s slip.
Link and I turned around and started to walk down the path when the Great Fairy said, “Oh by the way, I have a couple of sisters all around Hyrule that want to help you two. I can’t tell you where all of them are exactly, but I know that one lives right by Hyrule castle. She always loved that royal atmosphere.”
“There’s more of you!” Max shouted with glee. I had completely forgotten about Max who had been floating in one place; staring at the Great Fairy.
“Why yes,” the Great Fairy said. “They each have things to offer to you heroes.”
“Thanks for telling us,” I said enthused, but I was everything but enthused. Hopefully her sister weren’t as ‘developed’ as she was. “Let’s go Max.”
Max flew quickly to me and was shaking with excitement. “More Great Fairies means more funbags for Max,” I heard Navi whisper. She seemed a bit pissed off, but I would be too.
We were almost to off of the stone path and onto the dirt path when Link turned around and said, “Thank you for the big, fantastic wopbopaloobops!”
I sighed loudly as Link tried to find a word that could cover that slip up. “Uh, thanks for the big…uh, well…thanks for…um…er…things.”
I grabbed Link by the shoulder and dragged him out before the Great Fairy used some of her powers on our asses.
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