Categories > Cartoons > SpongeBob SquarePants

Bikini Bottoms Up

by ingrid 25 reviews

They're boyfriends! Spongebob/Patrick slash. Non-explicit.

Category: SpongeBob SquarePants - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Published: 2006-04-24 - Updated: 2006-04-25 - 464 words - Complete

by ingrid


Another long, productive day at the Krusty Krab eatery and Spongebob took off his frycook's hat with a pleased sigh.

Finally, the work day was done. It was time for FUN!

He skipped past the last few occupied tables on his way out the door when he heard Bubble Bass whisper to his table companion, just loudly enough for Spongebob to overhear.

"Oh, that guy? The frycook? He's gay. His boyfriend is outside."

Spongebob blinked. Who? Him? He was the only frycook he knew and he was what? And his who was where? And what again?

But before he could question further ...

"Hey Spongebob!" Patrick waved one pink fin from the shop doorway and then licked the window, distracted by random cleaning fluid streaks.

"Hey, Patrick!" Spongebob replied happily, then remembering the strange comment made by Bubble Bass, he quickly pulled Patrick down the road with him, toward home. "Say, pal. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Patrick walked beside him, huge floral shorts waving in the underwater whirls.

He leaned in close. "What does it mean ... being gay?"

Patrick's long pink brow furrowed. He wasn't used to being asked such strange questions. Actually, he wasn't used to being asked any questions ever since the time Squidward informed the entire town that Patrick had nothing but air in his top fin.

Big deal. Like that was his fault.

But he knew the answer to this one. Maybe. "Uh, it means that you're happy. Really happy, I think. Or that you smell like krabby patties, I'm not sure which." A bright jellyfish swam by. "Oooh," Patrick said, distracted yet again. "Pink!"

Spongebob pondered. "Huh. I guess I would fall under either one of those categories. And would you say that you're ..." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "My boyfriend?"

Patrick snorted derisively. "Well, duh. I'm a boy and I'm your friend, aren't I?"

"My best friend!" Spongebob declared adamantly. He smiled widely, showing both giant buck teeth. "Hey, then Bubble Bass was right. I'm gay and you're my boyfriend!"

Patrick scratched his ample tummy. "Yep. I guess so."

"Well, boyfriend," he said, emphasis on the last word, as the pineapple Spongebob called home came into view. "Would you like to come inside and be gay with me for a while?"

"Depends," said Patrick. "Are we going to have sex?"

"Of course we are," Spongebob replied. "Don't we every night?"

"Yeah, but I'm just making sure."

They walked toward the pineapple together, yellow hand in fin, and Spongebob gave a sunny wave to his neighbor Squidward who was already glaring at them from his top-floor window.

"Hey, Squidward," Spongebob yelled. "Guess what? I'm gay and Patrick is my boyfriend!"

The window slammed shut with a bang.


fin (of course!)
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