Categories > Games > Devil May Cry > Cat Nip

Cat Nip

by Devilcest 1 review

When Nero goes out on a mission he runs into a demon, and it just so happens that that demon is bored out of it's skull...So it curses Nero with big fluffy cat ears and a tail to match, and doesn't...

Category: Devil May Cry - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Characters: Dante,Lady,Trish - Warnings: [V] [X] - Published: 2010-06-28 - Updated: 2010-06-29 - 2972 words - Complete

A/N This idea hit me out of no where, I swear it literally knocked me over...I mean I fell out of my chair at school laughing so hard! My Math teacher was just like, and I quote. "Hey, why you do dis?" Nah but seriously I laughed so hard I almost cried...Anyway on with it before I bore you...

I do not own Nero, Dante or any of the Devil May Cry's...they belong to CAPCOM, I do however own my OC demon.

Summary: When Nero goes out on a mission he runs into a demon, and it just so happens that that demon is bored out of it's skull...So it curses Nero with big fluffy cat ears and a tail to match, and doesn't tell him how to remove it. Will Dante help him? Or will he wind up the Devil hunters Sex Kitten?

I vote the latter!

Warnings for this chapter: Swearing, violence, OOC'ness and humor!

Mission 1: Who knew boredom could be so...Random.

Nero growled as he sliced through yet another Frost, his total count lost from the increasing number. Dante had given him the mission of taking out an infestation of Frost demons on the outskirt of Fortuna, because he himself had been 'indisposed' at the time to make the trip. In other words the Hunter was too lazy to get off his ass and travel to Fortuna, so he dumped it on Nero, who was closer...

So it was safe to say he was annoyed...

He didn't even get the pay!

With another growl Nero used his Devil Bringer to grab an oncoming Frost by it's neck, pivoting on his heel to throw the demon into one of it's kin as it tried to sneak up behind him. "I sweat to god I'm going to kick his ass when I'm done with this!" He shouted as he kicked another demon in the stomach, the force sending it flying into a nearby house. He pulled Blue Rose free from its holster and fired off round after round at the ever increasing number of reptilian ice demons, wasting foe after foe as he used Red Queen to slice through those who got too close or his Bringer to smash them mercilessly into the ground until their insides were their outsides. His temper was once again rising when behind the hordes of Frost's crouched a lone Blitz, it's form crackling with electricity as it simply stayed where it was, not even bothering to zip around to unsettle him. The sight was rather out of place, because Blitz demons were well known for their speed and inability to stay still long enough to actually target them, that and their complete blindness. The fact that a Blitz was just crouching there with nothing but laziness was truley annoying, because Nero didn't know if it was just going to sit there all day or zip towards him when he wasn't looking...He was far from amused.

Even more so when another figure appeared beside the blind demon, moving to simply rest an arm on the creatures head like it wasn't a crazy blood thirsty speed demon. From the distance Nero couldn't make out any defining features of the new comer, but his scent was reminiscent of something akin to burning rubber and old oil...It was almost enough to make him loose his lunch, considering the stench was worse then Dante's socks! Which, was a feat in and of itself, because Dante's socks would have Mundus running for the hills with a firm hold on his nose and his eyes watering... they were bad...

With a grimace Nero decided to breath through his mouth, figuring the smell wasn't worth loosing his lunch over. He cleaved his way through the never ending stream of Frost's, receiving a good portion of what he gave along the way. By now his hoody was torn in several places and coated red from both his own blood, and the blood of the demons he was currently massacring. Not so small cuts ran over his human arm while a rather nasty gash had decided to place itself across his abdomen. Aside from that, the only thing bothering him was a tiny little scratch on his cheek...the damn thing was right over the bone and it was stinging from the sweat that dripped into it, it was as annoying as fuck! "Get outta my way!" he snapped as he pulled off a shot at point bank range to a Frost's face, the ice shattering and flying through the air as Nero simply stepped over it's now dead form. His gaze searched over his surroundings, finally breathing a sigh of relief upon finding the large number of remaining Frost's had suddenly developed some sense and retreated. The creatures pulling their heads back into broken windows and allies as he passed. He couldn't really believe the creatures were afraid of him, because he had a naging feeling that the figure beside the still immobil Blitz was calling the shots.

With a huff he made his way to stand at least twenty yards from the figure, now identified as some kind of demoness, if the obvious curves and bulging chest was anything to go by...oh and the freaky lizard tail and horns.

The woman stood easily six feet, clad in nothing but her own sage green scales. Her hair fell over her back, stopping just below the knees as it's odd beige color glistened in the fading light of the sun, her fringe crowned by yellow horns that followed the curve of her skull and twisted around the back of her head, to end in an upwards flick. An axe tipped tail swaying lazily behind her form as she raised a dangerously clawed hand to rest against her collar bone almost coyly, an almost sweet smile playing across her lips as she locked her gaze with Nero's.

If Nero was 100% human he would have fallen for the woman's 'innocents', but thankfully he wasn't all human, so he didn't miss the blood thirsty blaze in the demoness's eyes. He simply dropped Red Queen onto his shoulder and holstered his gun. Using his free hand, which happened to be his inhuman hand, to swipe under his nose as he looked up at the woman. " I 'spose your the one callin all the shots around here?" The demoness continued to smile as she raised a clawed finger to touch her bottom lip.

"Und jus' who are zyou? I vwas expecting ze son of Sparda?" Nero blinked at the odd accent the woman had, then realized what she said.

"Yeah well, the 'Son Of Sparda' is bein a lazy ass and called me to do all his work for him. I can go and get the jackass and drag him here if you want to hurt him." The demoness only shook her head and dropped her finger from her lip, instead settling it back on her collar bone.

"Awe, zats too bad, I vwas veally looking forward to ending hiz life. It zeemz I'm jus' going to have to kill zyou instead." Nero twitched, his top lip pulling up slightly in annoyance as he growled.

"Hey hold up lady, Dante's the guy you want, not me, I just get phone calls from him when he's feelin to lazy to get off his ass, and I ain't even gettin payed for this!" This seemed to amuse the reptilian woman because she suddenly giggled and held her cheek in her hand.

"Awe, zyou are zo cute vhen your angry, in fact zyou remind me of an angry kitten." That made Nero actually hiss like one too, then he pointed a demonic finger at her.

"I ain't a damn kitten you crazy lady! Now do yourself a favor and crawl back under the rock you came from before I kick your scaly ass!" The demoness giggled again, then swiped her hand like a cats paw, yowling and hissing as she giggled again. Nero was not amused, the woman was mocking him!

"Indeed, zyou remind me of a kitten-" then she suddenly went wide eyed, her hands clapping together in delight. "Then I shall make zyou a kitten!" This had Nero blinking.

"Say what now? Make me a kitten?" he then saw the demoness's hand glowing as she mumbled something under breath, her eyes wide with amusement as she suddenly pointed a blazing hand in his direction, sending a jet of yellow flames at his form. The only thing he had time to do was curse Dante to hell.

"Ah fu-"

Dante suddenly shivered under his magazine, causing it to slide off his face as he blinked at the ceiling. He frowned as a sudden chill ran up his spine, his fingers twitching for Ebony that sat in his lap. He leaned his head forward, looking to the doors of the Devil May Cry, seeing nothing, but feeling something Dante shifted his feet from the table and stood, his hand occupied by his black gun as he slowly made his way to the double doors. Without much of a hesitation he raised his leg and kicked the doors open –he figured fixing the doors to swing both ways was smart...since he liked kicking doors open so much- training Ebony on the first thing he saw. Fortunately he didn't pull the trigger, because the second his gaze landed on the unconscious form of Nero curled up at the bottom of the three steps his eyes narrowed.

Instantly thinking the kid was hurt Dante jumped down the steps and rolled the motionless teen into his arms.


Upon receiving no response Dante lifting his form easily and stood to re-entered his shop. He kicked the doors closed as he made his way in and quickly moved to his red couch to set the younger hunter on it's surface, his now free hands moving to search for any blood other then demons. He frowned in worry as he stumbled upon a nasty gash on the teens abdomen, his hand quickly painted red as he shifted the fabric of the dark hoody the teen wore. "Where the hell was your head at kid?" muttered Dante as he moved from the couch, dashing up the stairs ad into the bathroom for Bandages. He returned to the Ex Order Members side carefully removed the fabric covering his chest. He eased the teen into his lap and began wrapping the bandage around his waist, leaning forward to pass the roll between his hands, his chin all but resting on the boys shoulder. His brow shot up when he noticed an odd mark etched into the skin on the front of his shoulder, the small thing wasn't any bigger then a fifty cent coin and was colored an odd mix of silver and red. He squinted as he tried to make out the odd shape of the mark, soon blinking in confusion at finding what looked like a...demonic feline of some kind curled in on itself.

"What in hells name is this?" he whispered as he reached a hand to brush his fingers over it, but yanked his hand back when the small mark suddenly moved. The feline had been curled in on itself, as if sleeping, then as his fingers neared it, the thing came to life and swiped a clawed paw in the direction of his finger. Dante was so surprised and intrigued by the moving 'tattoo' looking thing he didn't notice something fluffy and white had landed on his lap. When he figured he'd annoyed the little mark enough, -it had actually hissed at him!- he finished bandaging Nero's wound, deciding he'd ask the kid when he woke up. Maybe it was some kind tattoo designed by crazy teenage demons wanting to look cool...

Or maybe it was some kind of cursed mark...

Dante jumped in surprise when he felt something tickle his bare stomach, as he only had his coat on and not an under shirt. He looked down to find the annoyance only to have his brows shoot into his hairline at what he found. Twitching lazily against his stomach, was a fluffy as hell white tail, which upon further investigation, was attached to the unconscious teen in his lap, and not attached as in taped or was apart of the teen, it even moved when Nero twitched in his state of rest. Before Dante even knew what he was doing he had a firm grip on the fluffy appendage and had yanked it none to gently.

The after effect was instantaneous...

The second he moved his hand the unconscious Nero, wasn't so unconscious anymore, in fact the teen had jumped and span in his lap, swiping his human hand across poor Dante's face with a not-so-Nero-like hiss. The second that had been done the teen had leapt over the back of the couch and had skittled up the stairs, the shop echoing with a resounding bang as he slammed the door behind him...

Meanwhile Dante sat as he had been, eyes wide and mouth open as he felt something moist and warm slide down his cheek. Shaking his head, but with still wide eyes Dante brushed his finger tips against his cheek, bringing them down to stare at the crimson blood that coated his fingers. Without much thought he stood from the couch and moved over to the bathroom right behind his desk. He stood before the mirror and turned his face side on, to find a set of perfectly straight lines cut into his flesh. If Dante hadn't seen the kid do it he'd think he'd stepped on the old lady next doors cat and had gotten mauled. Then everything else settled into his mind, Nero had hissed at him when he yanked his tail, and had skittered up the stairs like a frightened kitten! If Dante hadn't been so worried, he'd be caught between laughing his way to hell, and having a very kinky fantasy involving fluffy cat ears and a leash...

With a shake of the head Dante left the bathroom and jogged up the stairs, going straight to Nero's room before banging on the door.

"Hey kid! You ok in there? What the hell was that all about?" He received nothing but silence. So he tried again. "Hello, I know your in there kid, now whats with the tail and angry cat sounds? If I didn't know any better I'd say you'd finally slid of the deep end!" That time he got a reply, but it sounded so faint even his demonic hearing had trouble.

"J-just go away...I'm f-fine." Dante blinked, the kid only stuttered if he was A: Lying, B: Embarrassed beyond belief or C: Very upset...He figured A, B and C.

"Open the door and tell me what's wrong? Did something happen on that mission you took?" Nero laughed dryly on the other side of the door.

"You could say that..." Dante heard him mutter and frowned. Was he ok? Had a demon said something to him? Done something? I could tell what ever it was was demon related, the kid stank of powerful demon magic- then it hit him...

"Nero, open the door and let me see." There was that possibility again, that Nero had been cursed, the mark he'd seen, the mark that had tried to claw his finger tip apart had been his first clue, then the tail...which was both odd and unbelievably sexy, but he couldn't think of that right now, he had Nero's life to worry about, there were some pretty fucked up and dangerous curses out there... and Nero may just have one...

"No, just go away!" Dante breathed through clenched teeth as he banged his fist against the door only once.

"Kid, this could be serious, open the door and show me, or I'll put my foot through this door and show myself!" He could hear Nero panicking on the other side of the door, which wasn't something the kid did, so now he knew for sure something was horribly wrong. "You have to the count of 5! 1-" he could heard Nero's heart beat from where he was, and it sounded like the kid was about to have a heart attack –high unlikely, in fact quite impossible- "2-"

"Damn it just stay away from me!"


"You can't see me like this!"

"Ok fuck this 5!" with that he kicked the door open, sending it flying against the wall with a loud bang and entered to stand in the center of the room. The second the door hit the wall he heard a cat yowl and hiss randomly –maybe he'd scared the old ladies cat...again- He frowned as he looked over the room, blinking upon finding it empty. "Where in Berials name did he..." he trailed off when suddenly got the urge to look up, and when he did, he doubled over in a fit of laughter at what he found.

Attached to the ceiling of the bed room, was a very red Nero, with his dug into the roof like a frightened cat, but what made him laugh even more...where the big, fluffy white cat ears atop his head, both pressed flatly against his skull as the teen turned his head to hiss at him once, then again, then flick his white tail at him in annoyance.

If Dante had any doubts that the kid had been cursed, they were gone...because it looked like the demon that had done this, had been very, very bored...

A/N Eh? What do you think of this one? Oh think its funny as hell...REVIEW IF YOU WANT UPDATES PEOPLE!
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