Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I've Got Headaches and Bad Luck
Andy’s breath got caught in his throat.
“What?” He said through his teeth.
“Yeah you married the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen gorgeous rack but that’s because she just had a baby.”
“Oh! Well that explains Carlos!” Joe said as he looked down at him.
After Pete calmed Andy down and had him stop hyperventilating Eddie brought out two boxes.
“What are those??” Andy said as he stood up.
“The super deluxe package. What you ordered.” He said as he brought out trucker hats calendars and coffee mugs with pictures of Andy and a tall leggy blue eyed woman with curly blonde hair whose name was Monica.
“Wow dude you look really happy.” Pete said as he went through the calendar.
“THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!”
“It is and these hats are awesome we should give one to Patrick.” Joe said as he grabbed two. One for Patrick and one for him.
Andy started to hyperventilate again.
“Okay okay don’t worry man. I’ll fix this!” Pete assured Andy.
“Eddie you do annulments?”
“Yeah but it breaks my heart these two were a beautiful couple but I could do it. I just need the chick.”
“Okay! Alright we can do that! You have some info on Miss Monica don’t cha Eddie?”
“Of course.” He said as he smiled.
The guys sat in the parking lot as Andy kept slapping himself and saying that he’s never going to drink again and how his mom is going to disown him.
“What do we do with this stuff?” Pete asked as he carried out the boxes.”
“Torch them. Torch them and that fucking car!” Andy yelled.
“Torch them? Who are you??” Pete said as he chuckled.
“I don’t even know. Apparently I’m someone who marries a complete stranger!!”
“Listen don’t worry it’s being taken care of.” Pete said as he calmed him down. “And you’re not torching a damn thing.”
“I don’t care what you say! ALL OF THIS IS A MISTAKE NONE OF THIS SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!” Andy shouted. “We can’t even remember anything so why not destroy all the evidence because it’s a night that never even existed to us!! NONE OF THIS EXISTS SO LET’S TORCH IT! EVERYTHING! THIS CAR!” He screamed as he slammed his fist on the police car. “THESE MUGS!!” He screamed as he grabbed the mugs and busted them on the ground. “THIS FUCKING HAT!!” He screamed as he grabbed the hat off of Joe’s head and threw it on the ground.
“Hey!!” Joe yelled.
“Okay okay everyone calm the fuck down! No one is torching anything we all just need to calm down!” Pete yelled.
“Fine if you don’t wanna help Joe will! Right Joe?”
“Yeah man I’m down.” Joe said as he got excited.
“Fuck this shit let’s just go.” Pete said sounding annoyed.
As they were pulling out of the parking lot a yellow sports car pulled in quickly and rammed their car making baby Carlos cry.
“Shhh it’s okay baby.” Andy said as he patted the baby.
Suddenly a tall man came out of the car and hit the windshield as hard as he could with a baseball bat.
“Where is he?!” He yelled as he hit the windshield again. “Huh!? Where is he?!!?”
“Hey hey! I think we’re looking for the same guy just settle down!” Pete said as he put his hands up.
“Just tell us or we’ll shoot!!” Another man yelled coming out of the yellow sports car.
“HEY THERE’S A BABY IN THE CAR!!” Joe screamed.
Eddie then came running outside to see what was going on.
“Hey! What are you fuckers doing outside my business?!! Get outta here!!” He yelled as he waved his arms causing the two men to shoot Eddie in the shoulder.
“OH MY GOD THEY SHOT EDDIE!! LET’S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!” Andy screamed.
After that little episode the guys found the fleabag motel the new Mrs. Andy Hurley was living at. Thye walked down the hallway a room 215 just as Pete put his hand up to knock a tall blonde woman in a pair of a Daisy Dukes and a pink crop top came out with a phone to her ear.
“Oh! I found him! I’ll call you later!” She said as she quickly hung up. “He’s with his father!” She said as she went to Joe and picked up Carlos.
“Hi my little Tyler!” She said as she kissed the baby. “And there’s my big man.” She said as she shoved her tongue into Andy’s mouth and moaned.
“Uh um hi.” Andy said as he wiped his mouth.
“Oh come on in guys I gotta feed Tyler.” She said as she lead them in but Joe stood in the hallway with a look of disappointment on his face.
“Ya hear that? The baby’s name is Tyler.” He said quietly.
“It’s okay man he looked like a Carlos.” Pete said as he patted him on the back and walked with him to the room.
“So what happened to you guys? I went to go get coffee and when I came back you were gone.” Monica said as she poured four glasses of lemonade.
“Uh well you see Monica…it is Monica right?” Pete said.
“Good one Pete.” She said as she laughed and removed her shirt and started to breast feed Tyler.
“Ahem! Ahem!” Pete said as he pretended to cough. “So um Monica do you remember the last place we were at last night?”
“Yeah and was Patrick with us?? You know Patrick right?” Andy added.
“Of course I do! He was the best man at our wedding.”
“Asshole. I’m never the best man. It’s always Patrick! What’s so great about Patrick?!” Joe shouted.
Everyone looked at Joe with concern.
“Sorry I’m done.” Joe said as he looked down.
“So anyway I remember going back to The Bellagio and you guys passed out around 6 so I curled up next to Andy and then I left for my shift but I don’t remember seeing Patrick there.” Monica said.
“When you say shift do you mean you’re a nurse?” Andy said as he smiled nervously.
Monica burst into a fit of giggles. “Oh Andy you’re so funny! I’m a stripper silly! I told you that it’s an okay living. I get to meet a lot of people and it’s a good way to meet clients.”
“Oh clients I see.” Andy said as he clenched his teeth.
Monica walked over to the other side of the room to put Tyler down and pick up their glasses when something she was wearing caught Andy’s attention. It was the ring Patrick was going to give Jenna. Andy noticed this as he took a sip of lemonade causing him to spit it out right in baby Tyler’s face making him cry while Andy was pointing and gasping for air.
“Oh it’s okay daddy didn’t mean it was an accident.” She said in a baby voice. “I’ll be right back I’m gonna clean him up.”
“She’s wearing the ring!” Andy yelled in a hushed voice.
“What ring?” Pete asked sounding confused.
“Patrick’s!” Andy yelled again.
“Shit! What do we do?” Pete said as he pulled at his hair.
“Mrs. Hurley has to give it back.” Joe said.
“I’ll work on it.” Andy said quietly as Monica came back.
Once Monica sat down with Tyler suddenly two police officers kicked the door down and were armed with guns pointing at them all of this ruckus caused everyone to scream and cry just as hard like Tyler.
“Shut that baby up!” The male officer yelled.
“Put your hands up! You’re coming with us!” The female officer screamed at Joe Pete and Andy.
I guess you could call that a cliff hanger. =P
“What?” He said through his teeth.
“Yeah you married the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen gorgeous rack but that’s because she just had a baby.”
“Oh! Well that explains Carlos!” Joe said as he looked down at him.
After Pete calmed Andy down and had him stop hyperventilating Eddie brought out two boxes.
“What are those??” Andy said as he stood up.
“The super deluxe package. What you ordered.” He said as he brought out trucker hats calendars and coffee mugs with pictures of Andy and a tall leggy blue eyed woman with curly blonde hair whose name was Monica.
“Wow dude you look really happy.” Pete said as he went through the calendar.
“THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!”
“It is and these hats are awesome we should give one to Patrick.” Joe said as he grabbed two. One for Patrick and one for him.
Andy started to hyperventilate again.
“Okay okay don’t worry man. I’ll fix this!” Pete assured Andy.
“Eddie you do annulments?”
“Yeah but it breaks my heart these two were a beautiful couple but I could do it. I just need the chick.”
“Okay! Alright we can do that! You have some info on Miss Monica don’t cha Eddie?”
“Of course.” He said as he smiled.
The guys sat in the parking lot as Andy kept slapping himself and saying that he’s never going to drink again and how his mom is going to disown him.
“What do we do with this stuff?” Pete asked as he carried out the boxes.”
“Torch them. Torch them and that fucking car!” Andy yelled.
“Torch them? Who are you??” Pete said as he chuckled.
“I don’t even know. Apparently I’m someone who marries a complete stranger!!”
“Listen don’t worry it’s being taken care of.” Pete said as he calmed him down. “And you’re not torching a damn thing.”
“I don’t care what you say! ALL OF THIS IS A MISTAKE NONE OF THIS SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!” Andy shouted. “We can’t even remember anything so why not destroy all the evidence because it’s a night that never even existed to us!! NONE OF THIS EXISTS SO LET’S TORCH IT! EVERYTHING! THIS CAR!” He screamed as he slammed his fist on the police car. “THESE MUGS!!” He screamed as he grabbed the mugs and busted them on the ground. “THIS FUCKING HAT!!” He screamed as he grabbed the hat off of Joe’s head and threw it on the ground.
“Hey!!” Joe yelled.
“Okay okay everyone calm the fuck down! No one is torching anything we all just need to calm down!” Pete yelled.
“Fine if you don’t wanna help Joe will! Right Joe?”
“Yeah man I’m down.” Joe said as he got excited.
“Fuck this shit let’s just go.” Pete said sounding annoyed.
As they were pulling out of the parking lot a yellow sports car pulled in quickly and rammed their car making baby Carlos cry.
“Shhh it’s okay baby.” Andy said as he patted the baby.
Suddenly a tall man came out of the car and hit the windshield as hard as he could with a baseball bat.
“Where is he?!” He yelled as he hit the windshield again. “Huh!? Where is he?!!?”
“Hey hey! I think we’re looking for the same guy just settle down!” Pete said as he put his hands up.
“Just tell us or we’ll shoot!!” Another man yelled coming out of the yellow sports car.
“HEY THERE’S A BABY IN THE CAR!!” Joe screamed.
Eddie then came running outside to see what was going on.
“Hey! What are you fuckers doing outside my business?!! Get outta here!!” He yelled as he waved his arms causing the two men to shoot Eddie in the shoulder.
“OH MY GOD THEY SHOT EDDIE!! LET’S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!” Andy screamed.
After that little episode the guys found the fleabag motel the new Mrs. Andy Hurley was living at. Thye walked down the hallway a room 215 just as Pete put his hand up to knock a tall blonde woman in a pair of a Daisy Dukes and a pink crop top came out with a phone to her ear.
“Oh! I found him! I’ll call you later!” She said as she quickly hung up. “He’s with his father!” She said as she went to Joe and picked up Carlos.
“Hi my little Tyler!” She said as she kissed the baby. “And there’s my big man.” She said as she shoved her tongue into Andy’s mouth and moaned.
“Uh um hi.” Andy said as he wiped his mouth.
“Oh come on in guys I gotta feed Tyler.” She said as she lead them in but Joe stood in the hallway with a look of disappointment on his face.
“Ya hear that? The baby’s name is Tyler.” He said quietly.
“It’s okay man he looked like a Carlos.” Pete said as he patted him on the back and walked with him to the room.
“So what happened to you guys? I went to go get coffee and when I came back you were gone.” Monica said as she poured four glasses of lemonade.
“Uh well you see Monica…it is Monica right?” Pete said.
“Good one Pete.” She said as she laughed and removed her shirt and started to breast feed Tyler.
“Ahem! Ahem!” Pete said as he pretended to cough. “So um Monica do you remember the last place we were at last night?”
“Yeah and was Patrick with us?? You know Patrick right?” Andy added.
“Of course I do! He was the best man at our wedding.”
“Asshole. I’m never the best man. It’s always Patrick! What’s so great about Patrick?!” Joe shouted.
Everyone looked at Joe with concern.
“Sorry I’m done.” Joe said as he looked down.
“So anyway I remember going back to The Bellagio and you guys passed out around 6 so I curled up next to Andy and then I left for my shift but I don’t remember seeing Patrick there.” Monica said.
“When you say shift do you mean you’re a nurse?” Andy said as he smiled nervously.
Monica burst into a fit of giggles. “Oh Andy you’re so funny! I’m a stripper silly! I told you that it’s an okay living. I get to meet a lot of people and it’s a good way to meet clients.”
“Oh clients I see.” Andy said as he clenched his teeth.
Monica walked over to the other side of the room to put Tyler down and pick up their glasses when something she was wearing caught Andy’s attention. It was the ring Patrick was going to give Jenna. Andy noticed this as he took a sip of lemonade causing him to spit it out right in baby Tyler’s face making him cry while Andy was pointing and gasping for air.
“Oh it’s okay daddy didn’t mean it was an accident.” She said in a baby voice. “I’ll be right back I’m gonna clean him up.”
“She’s wearing the ring!” Andy yelled in a hushed voice.
“What ring?” Pete asked sounding confused.
“Patrick’s!” Andy yelled again.
“Shit! What do we do?” Pete said as he pulled at his hair.
“Mrs. Hurley has to give it back.” Joe said.
“I’ll work on it.” Andy said quietly as Monica came back.
Once Monica sat down with Tyler suddenly two police officers kicked the door down and were armed with guns pointing at them all of this ruckus caused everyone to scream and cry just as hard like Tyler.
“Shut that baby up!” The male officer yelled.
“Put your hands up! You’re coming with us!” The female officer screamed at Joe Pete and Andy.
I guess you could call that a cliff hanger. =P
Sign up to rate and review this story