Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I've Got Headaches and Bad Luck
“W-what did we do??” Pete said nervously.
“Oh please! Now come with us or we shoot!” The woman screamed.
“Okay, okay! Oh god please don’t shoot!” Andy said as he got up with his arms up.
The next thing they know the boys are sitting in a police station cuffed to each other while Pete got up to make their one phone call.
“So after we take their mugshots they wait to be interviewed by the arresting officers. Trust me kids you do not want to be sitting here. We call this place loserville.” An officer said as he led a group of kids around the station.
Suddenly a rather chubby boy sat in front of Joe with a smug look on his face and pulled out a cell phone. Just as the boy was about to snap the picture Joe raised his foot and kicked it right out of the boy’s hands.
“Hello?”
“Heyy Bob!”
“Oh Pete thank god I thought you guys were abducted. Where are you four??”
“We are at the spa in the hotel.”
“Cool. Is Patrick around?”
“Of course he’s around. What makes you think he’s not around because he is definitely around.”
“Nothing just wondering why are you calling me. You’re the irresponsible one remember?”
“Oh I just miss hearing the sound of your voice that’s all.”
“Uh okay..”
“Hey Bob you will never believe this! We got comped an extra night at the hotel!”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah it’s great so were gonna hang out another night here and we’ll be at the show bright and early!” Pete said in a cheery voice.
“Uhh Pete are you sure that’s a good idea?”
Pete was then cut off by a police officer calling out their names. Once the other two got up they were now tangled with Joe in the middle.
“Spin around.”
And spin around he did. Now Pete was tangled in the middle.
“Wait a second.” Andy said now feeling disgusted as he crossed over Joe and Pete’s arms and lead the way but now Joe was once again in the middle.
“Come on! Let’s go!” The police officer barked.
Now the three of them were in an interrogation room with the two officers that brought them.
“Gentleman. I have good news and bad news, the good news is we found your Mercedes.
“Thank god!” Pete said as he clapped his hands together.
“It’s over at the impound. We picked it up around 5 am this morning. Do you boys know where?”
The three shook their heads.
“It was parked right in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard.”
“Oh that’s weird.” Andy said.
“Yeah that is weird. We also found a note. It says couldn’t find a meter here’s four bucks.” The officer said as he threw it on the table. “Now the bad news is we can’t get you infront of a judge until Monday morning.”
“Oh sh- uh Officer we need to be in L.A. tomorrow morning.”
“You stole a police car!” The female officer stated.
“We didn’t steal anything umm we found it.” Andy said hoping they’d buy it.
“Yeah! We should get a reward or something like a trophy.” Joe said.
“I see assholes like you every day.” The male officer said.
“EVERY FUCKIN’ DAY!” The female officer shouted.
“Let’s go to Vegas we’ll get drunk!”
“Yeeeaah! Woo!” The two officers shouted as they started to mock.
“Let’s go steal a cop car cause it would be fuckin’ funny!”
“You bastards think you could get away with it! Not up in here!”
“NOT UP IN HERE!” The male officer screamed. At this point Pete Joe and Andy were scared yet were trying hard as they possibly could not to laugh.
“Okaay. Uh sir I’m guessing that car belonged to one of you.” Pete said.
The two officers nodded.
“Listen I’m not a cop, I’m no hero. I’m a musician. Let’s say my tour bus goes missing. That would look really bad on me.”
“What are you getting at?” The male officer said.
“Yeah Pete what are you getting at?” Andy said.
“No one wants to look bad. We gotta a show to do. You guys don’t need everyone talking about how some assholes borrowed your car. What I’m trying to say is let’s try to make an agreement here. Whaddya say?”
The two officers exchanged looks then the female officer smirked and wrote something down on the clipboard and showing it to the other officer who was now laughing. Once the officer took a breath from laughing so much he asked the boys a question.
“Do any of you boy have a heart condition or anything like that?” He said as he smiled deviously.
“Uhh nope.” They all said at once.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“Okay kids you’re in for a real treat today! These gentlemen have volunteered how to use a stun gun.”
“Wait a sec? WHAT?!” Andy yelled.
The police officer ignored Andy. “There are two ways to use a stun gun. Up close and personal.” He said as he tased in Andy on the shoulder.
“AHH!!!” He screamed as he hit the floor making all the kids laugh.
“Or you could shoot it from a distance. Do I have any volunteers?”
Every child’s hand shot up. “Hmm how about you young lady?” The officer said as he picked a little girl with pig tails. “Alright come on handsome.” Joe stepped up. “No not you Jesus look-a-like. You pretty boy!” He shouted at Pete. The officer handed the little girl the stun gun.
“Okay all you have to do is aim and shoot.”
“Little girl you don’t wanna do this.” Pete said calmy.
“You can do this just focus.” The officer said.
“Don’t listen to him. Let’s just think this through.” Pete said.
The little girl glanced at the police officer and then back at Pete and smiled.
“FINISH HIM!” The officer screamed and the little girl aimed at Pete’s crotch.
“ARGHHHHHHH!! NOOOO STOOOP AHHH!!” Pete screamed as he dropped to his knees and held his groin.
The whole room burst into laughter including Joe and Andy.
“Right in the nuts! That was great! Well done!” The officer said as he started to clap along with the rest of the children.
The little girl sat back down and laughed at Pete who was on the floor moaning “my balls”.
“Okay kids we have one more charge left! Who wants to do it?!” Once again all the children’s hands went up including the tubby little boy that took a picture of Joe and that who is the officer picked.
The little boy glared at Joe and Joe actually felt scared.
“Okay son same instructions just aim and shoot.” The officer said as he handed him the stun gun.
The little boy slowly raised the stun gun not moving a muscle in his face keeping his eyes glued to Trohman. The little boy was now aiming for Joe’s face.
“There you go little man just focus.” The officer said.
And focus he did. He got Joe right in the forehead causing him to shriek in pain but he was still standing and now he was walking towards the little boy with his hands out. He looked like a fucking zombie so it made all the kids scream.
“Don’t worry kids I’ve seen this before he just needs one more shock.” He said as he walked up to Joe and tased him in the shoulder making Joe fall straight to the ground. “Now who wants to get their fingerprints?!”
The boys left the police station and went over to the impound.
“Those cops were fucking assholes!” Andy said.
“You gotta do what you gotta do.” Pete said.
“You guys think Patrick’s okay?” Joe said as he sipped on a can of coke.
“Yeah he’s fine.” Pete assured him.
“If fine means dead or raped then yeah Patrick is really fine!!” Andy screamed.
Pete ignored Andy and rubbed his head. “I can’t even imagine how trashed my car is.”
“Oh my god you’re right.” Andy said.
The car pulled up and it was….fine. A little dirty but nothing serious.
“OH THANK GOD AND BABY JESUS!” Pete said as he hugged the car.
“Come on let’s go back to the hotel maybe Patrick’s there.” Andy said as he in got in the car.
“What’s this?” Joe said as he held up something that looked like shedded snake skin.
Andy turned around to see what it was. “EW IT’S A USED CONDOM!!” He screamed and so did Joe as he threw it the front seat and landed on Pete.
“Oh fuck that’s gross!! Get it off!!” Pete screamed. Joe took the condom off of Pete’s shoulder and threw it out the window.
After that nasty as hell experience they guys were back at the hotel but something wasn’t right. Infact it was really weird. There was a mattress stuck on top of statue outside of the hotel.
“Hey what happened?” Pete asked as the valet guy.
“Some asshole through his bed out of the window.”
The boys shrugged and went to their room but the door was open and music was on…Phil Collins. They slowly walked in the room two things were on their minds (A this could be Patrick (B it’s a serial killer or (C those dudes who shot Eddie.
Pete slowly crept in the hotel room with Joe and Andy right behind him when they reached inside there was a big tall beefy man.
“AHHHH!! WHO ARE YOU?!!!” Pete screamed.
“Who are you?!”
“Quiet! My favorite part is coming up!” The boys turned their heads to find Brendon Urie sitting at the piano.
“Brendon?!” Pete shouted.
“Shoosh! My favorite part is coming up right now.” Brendon the nstarted to play air drums and began to sing. “I can feel it coming in the air tonight! I need a chorus line guys.” He said as he pointed to them.
“Oh looord.” Joe sang.
“But I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life! One more time guys.”
“Oh looord.” The 3 of them sang. Suddenly Brendon punched Joe right in the face knocking him out.
“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!” Pete yelled as he knelt down next to Joe to see if he’s okay.
“I’m sorry I got into it.”
“So you punch him in the face?!” Andy yelled.
“Hey you guys stole my tiger so I should be the one yelling!!” Brendon yelled.
“What?” They all said at once.
“I love you guys I really do but I love my tiger more so bring him back to my place. I’m giving you an hour anymore and I’ll send Rico to bust your asses.” He said to three of them as he pointed to his security guard Rico.
“Why don't you take it terdface?!” Andy yelled.
“I came on my Bentley.” Brendon said before he left.
“Fuck you and you’re Bentley….we’ll bring him.” Pete muttered.
“Oh please! Now come with us or we shoot!” The woman screamed.
“Okay, okay! Oh god please don’t shoot!” Andy said as he got up with his arms up.
The next thing they know the boys are sitting in a police station cuffed to each other while Pete got up to make their one phone call.
“So after we take their mugshots they wait to be interviewed by the arresting officers. Trust me kids you do not want to be sitting here. We call this place loserville.” An officer said as he led a group of kids around the station.
Suddenly a rather chubby boy sat in front of Joe with a smug look on his face and pulled out a cell phone. Just as the boy was about to snap the picture Joe raised his foot and kicked it right out of the boy’s hands.
“Hello?”
“Heyy Bob!”
“Oh Pete thank god I thought you guys were abducted. Where are you four??”
“We are at the spa in the hotel.”
“Cool. Is Patrick around?”
“Of course he’s around. What makes you think he’s not around because he is definitely around.”
“Nothing just wondering why are you calling me. You’re the irresponsible one remember?”
“Oh I just miss hearing the sound of your voice that’s all.”
“Uh okay..”
“Hey Bob you will never believe this! We got comped an extra night at the hotel!”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah it’s great so were gonna hang out another night here and we’ll be at the show bright and early!” Pete said in a cheery voice.
“Uhh Pete are you sure that’s a good idea?”
Pete was then cut off by a police officer calling out their names. Once the other two got up they were now tangled with Joe in the middle.
“Spin around.”
And spin around he did. Now Pete was tangled in the middle.
“Wait a second.” Andy said now feeling disgusted as he crossed over Joe and Pete’s arms and lead the way but now Joe was once again in the middle.
“Come on! Let’s go!” The police officer barked.
Now the three of them were in an interrogation room with the two officers that brought them.
“Gentleman. I have good news and bad news, the good news is we found your Mercedes.
“Thank god!” Pete said as he clapped his hands together.
“It’s over at the impound. We picked it up around 5 am this morning. Do you boys know where?”
The three shook their heads.
“It was parked right in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard.”
“Oh that’s weird.” Andy said.
“Yeah that is weird. We also found a note. It says couldn’t find a meter here’s four bucks.” The officer said as he threw it on the table. “Now the bad news is we can’t get you infront of a judge until Monday morning.”
“Oh sh- uh Officer we need to be in L.A. tomorrow morning.”
“You stole a police car!” The female officer stated.
“We didn’t steal anything umm we found it.” Andy said hoping they’d buy it.
“Yeah! We should get a reward or something like a trophy.” Joe said.
“I see assholes like you every day.” The male officer said.
“EVERY FUCKIN’ DAY!” The female officer shouted.
“Let’s go to Vegas we’ll get drunk!”
“Yeeeaah! Woo!” The two officers shouted as they started to mock.
“Let’s go steal a cop car cause it would be fuckin’ funny!”
“You bastards think you could get away with it! Not up in here!”
“NOT UP IN HERE!” The male officer screamed. At this point Pete Joe and Andy were scared yet were trying hard as they possibly could not to laugh.
“Okaay. Uh sir I’m guessing that car belonged to one of you.” Pete said.
The two officers nodded.
“Listen I’m not a cop, I’m no hero. I’m a musician. Let’s say my tour bus goes missing. That would look really bad on me.”
“What are you getting at?” The male officer said.
“Yeah Pete what are you getting at?” Andy said.
“No one wants to look bad. We gotta a show to do. You guys don’t need everyone talking about how some assholes borrowed your car. What I’m trying to say is let’s try to make an agreement here. Whaddya say?”
The two officers exchanged looks then the female officer smirked and wrote something down on the clipboard and showing it to the other officer who was now laughing. Once the officer took a breath from laughing so much he asked the boys a question.
“Do any of you boy have a heart condition or anything like that?” He said as he smiled deviously.
“Uhh nope.” They all said at once.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“Okay kids you’re in for a real treat today! These gentlemen have volunteered how to use a stun gun.”
“Wait a sec? WHAT?!” Andy yelled.
The police officer ignored Andy. “There are two ways to use a stun gun. Up close and personal.” He said as he tased in Andy on the shoulder.
“AHH!!!” He screamed as he hit the floor making all the kids laugh.
“Or you could shoot it from a distance. Do I have any volunteers?”
Every child’s hand shot up. “Hmm how about you young lady?” The officer said as he picked a little girl with pig tails. “Alright come on handsome.” Joe stepped up. “No not you Jesus look-a-like. You pretty boy!” He shouted at Pete. The officer handed the little girl the stun gun.
“Okay all you have to do is aim and shoot.”
“Little girl you don’t wanna do this.” Pete said calmy.
“You can do this just focus.” The officer said.
“Don’t listen to him. Let’s just think this through.” Pete said.
The little girl glanced at the police officer and then back at Pete and smiled.
“FINISH HIM!” The officer screamed and the little girl aimed at Pete’s crotch.
“ARGHHHHHHH!! NOOOO STOOOP AHHH!!” Pete screamed as he dropped to his knees and held his groin.
The whole room burst into laughter including Joe and Andy.
“Right in the nuts! That was great! Well done!” The officer said as he started to clap along with the rest of the children.
The little girl sat back down and laughed at Pete who was on the floor moaning “my balls”.
“Okay kids we have one more charge left! Who wants to do it?!” Once again all the children’s hands went up including the tubby little boy that took a picture of Joe and that who is the officer picked.
The little boy glared at Joe and Joe actually felt scared.
“Okay son same instructions just aim and shoot.” The officer said as he handed him the stun gun.
The little boy slowly raised the stun gun not moving a muscle in his face keeping his eyes glued to Trohman. The little boy was now aiming for Joe’s face.
“There you go little man just focus.” The officer said.
And focus he did. He got Joe right in the forehead causing him to shriek in pain but he was still standing and now he was walking towards the little boy with his hands out. He looked like a fucking zombie so it made all the kids scream.
“Don’t worry kids I’ve seen this before he just needs one more shock.” He said as he walked up to Joe and tased him in the shoulder making Joe fall straight to the ground. “Now who wants to get their fingerprints?!”
The boys left the police station and went over to the impound.
“Those cops were fucking assholes!” Andy said.
“You gotta do what you gotta do.” Pete said.
“You guys think Patrick’s okay?” Joe said as he sipped on a can of coke.
“Yeah he’s fine.” Pete assured him.
“If fine means dead or raped then yeah Patrick is really fine!!” Andy screamed.
Pete ignored Andy and rubbed his head. “I can’t even imagine how trashed my car is.”
“Oh my god you’re right.” Andy said.
The car pulled up and it was….fine. A little dirty but nothing serious.
“OH THANK GOD AND BABY JESUS!” Pete said as he hugged the car.
“Come on let’s go back to the hotel maybe Patrick’s there.” Andy said as he in got in the car.
“What’s this?” Joe said as he held up something that looked like shedded snake skin.
Andy turned around to see what it was. “EW IT’S A USED CONDOM!!” He screamed and so did Joe as he threw it the front seat and landed on Pete.
“Oh fuck that’s gross!! Get it off!!” Pete screamed. Joe took the condom off of Pete’s shoulder and threw it out the window.
After that nasty as hell experience they guys were back at the hotel but something wasn’t right. Infact it was really weird. There was a mattress stuck on top of statue outside of the hotel.
“Hey what happened?” Pete asked as the valet guy.
“Some asshole through his bed out of the window.”
The boys shrugged and went to their room but the door was open and music was on…Phil Collins. They slowly walked in the room two things were on their minds (A this could be Patrick (B it’s a serial killer or (C those dudes who shot Eddie.
Pete slowly crept in the hotel room with Joe and Andy right behind him when they reached inside there was a big tall beefy man.
“AHHHH!! WHO ARE YOU?!!!” Pete screamed.
“Who are you?!”
“Quiet! My favorite part is coming up!” The boys turned their heads to find Brendon Urie sitting at the piano.
“Brendon?!” Pete shouted.
“Shoosh! My favorite part is coming up right now.” Brendon the nstarted to play air drums and began to sing. “I can feel it coming in the air tonight! I need a chorus line guys.” He said as he pointed to them.
“Oh looord.” Joe sang.
“But I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life! One more time guys.”
“Oh looord.” The 3 of them sang. Suddenly Brendon punched Joe right in the face knocking him out.
“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!” Pete yelled as he knelt down next to Joe to see if he’s okay.
“I’m sorry I got into it.”
“So you punch him in the face?!” Andy yelled.
“Hey you guys stole my tiger so I should be the one yelling!!” Brendon yelled.
“What?” They all said at once.
“I love you guys I really do but I love my tiger more so bring him back to my place. I’m giving you an hour anymore and I’ll send Rico to bust your asses.” He said to three of them as he pointed to his security guard Rico.
“Why don't you take it terdface?!” Andy yelled.
“I came on my Bentley.” Brendon said before he left.
“Fuck you and you’re Bentley….we’ll bring him.” Pete muttered.
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