FicWad

"Colin, what's it like to do it?" Did I just say that? The cheese must really be going to my head. He paused mid bite to look at me. There was a slight crease marring the smooth planes of his brow. After a moment he just shrugged and returned to chewing and the game.

"I mean, I know it's different with girls but... Oh forget it." I huffed shoving my bangs back impatiently. His shoulders began to tremble. "Collin are you okay?" that was all it took before he broke out in raucous laughter.

"D-do it!" I seem to have inspired dementia in my dear friend. What had I said that was sooo funny. I don't like being mocked. I gritted my teeth and pinched his arm hard. "Ouch, what was that for?!" he cried gingerly fingering his abused arm.

"Doing my civic duty." I quipped leaning back on the couch satisfied with my handy work.

"You're crazy." He mumbled glaring at me.

"Ah, well you work with what you have. Now seriously. What's it like?"I pouted pursing my lips.

"Why are you so curious all of the sudden. I thought you were waiting for Rayne Phelps to realize what's been right beneath his nose the whole time and ride off into the sunset with you? Or have you woken up and realized that all this hunka man is what you crave?" he leered crowding me into the corner of the couch. His hot breath fanned my flushed cheeks.

"Collin, if I didn't know you boinked Meg in 8th grade, I would be worried right now. Back off, weirdo. They should be showing Elimi-date right now. You know how I so love lowered expectations." I gushed giving his confining shoulder a gentle nudge.

"Alright ya little priss. I know you only watch for the guys anyways." He griped.

"Collin, how could I not? All that hot male oozing sex appeal...not all of us are so cursed as to be hetero." I returned snidely. The show was definately lived up to my lowered expectations of the horny male in and I ended up snuggling up on the couch my head pillowed on his chest. I don't know when we fell asleep, but the next thing I knew it was morning.

Imoved back, trying to figure out whereI was.I felt so wonderfully warm and cozy that I really didn't want to wake up.Then I felt a heat next to me, andI remembered. We were still on the couch in the living room. My mom had just got in. Collin and I were a tangled mess of limbs. The soft rise and fall of his chest beneath my cheek was very soothing and I didn't want to get up. He looked so peaceful with the sunlight dancing across his fluttering lashes. Ireached out and lightly traced the tip ofmy index finger over Collin's eyebrows, and then down his aquiline nose. My finger stroked gently, lovingly, across his lower lip.

"Hey honey. How was your night?" My mom whispered coming to kneel beside the couch. She gave me a peck on the cheek in greeting. I blearily rubbed at my gritty eyes.

"Great. Yours?" I yawned nuzzling Collin's neck. It was the sweetest place on his body. He mumbled something incoherent at my actions slowly coming awake too. He glanced down at me and smiled. His fingers danced across the back of my neck causing me to purr. Oh but he knew how to rub me the right way.

"Hey."

"Hey." it was just the two of us in the moment. If only every morning was like this.

"Since you cared so much, my night was awful. We had 3 nurses call of ff and Mrs. Granger in 706 died." My mom rudely interjected feeling left out.

"Oh, hi, Ms. Mason." Collin hadn't even realized she was home yet. Of course I didn't think that was a pertinent detail.

"Hi, Collin. I'm going to go change you boys get up."

"Come on Ward get up. I'm going to grab a shower be down soon." He gently set me aside to maneuver out from under me.

"Alright you do that. I'll make breakfast." I yawned lazily scratching at my belly and smacking my lips. I don't wke easily.

"You do that little man." He gave the crown of my head a quick peck and left. I shuffled into the kitchen in search of breakfast material. It took me all of 5 minutes to realize why I wasn't finding anything, I'd never cooked breakfast before. Collin knows I don't cook that means he was mocking me. Ohhh! I'm going to get the little turd!

"Hey Ho. What are - don't tell me you were going to attempt to make breakfast again." A concerned look settled on her smooth features and there was a hint of real fear in her voice. "Hon, put the spatula down and step away from the eggs. Alright? Come to momma. Come on..." I do believe I'm living in a mad house!

"Mom quit it!" So a guy has a little disaster once five years ago and suddenly he's public enemy number one. It's not like th ambulance didn't get here in time to revive her! Those egg shells are tricky bastards anyone could have made the same mistake.

"Why don't you make the coffee okay?" She sought placating and came off as condescending,

"Fine. Who cares anyway. I really wanted to make coffee." Coffee I can do. This is really too much action for my mornings. As mom hummed to herself filling the kitchen with the greasy aroma of breakfast, I leaned on the counter staring at the coffee percolating. It's really quite a mesmerizing process.

"Mhmmm, something smells good!" Collin walked in trying to force his hair into some semblance of orderliness. However the wet unruly locks refused to obey. He wore his standard weekend attire, blue jeans and a t-shirt. His jeans never sagged because he thought it "uncouth" and his t-shirts were never tight his reasoning being that after knowing me and the dirty thoughts I ascribed too, he didn't want to contribute to the delinquency of a minor.

"Mhuh, someone looks especially spiffy this morning!" I drawled eyeing him up and down. Collin struck a pose. "Oh yeah baby give us a smile. Now sultry. Flash a little ass!" I directed him like a bona fide photographer.

"Guys! Quit clowning around and Edward watch your mouth." Mom admonished not even turning to look. Every party's gotta have a pooper. Collin grinned and hugged me from behind having caught the sulk threatening.

"Awww! Don't pout. The poochie lip will get you if you don't watch out. The poochie lip will get you if you start to pout." He chanted probably in love with his own voice. The song was from an old musical we did in elementary school.

"Am I interrupting something?" Kara queried from the entrance. My mom unfortunately must have left the door open again. I unfortunately turned around still pouting. She screeched causing my mom to jump and drop the dish she held with a noisy clatter. "Warrrrrrd! Awww puji pooh! Was Colly being mean again? Sooo shweet!" She shoved Collin away to get her claws in me.

"Kara!" My voice was muffled by her suffocating stranglehold. I cast my eyes about searching for an escape. Collin the ungrateful wretch just stood there chuckling. My mom sighed and took down an extra dish.

"Tell me all about it you shweet cakes you. Ohh! You're so adorable, I wanna eat you up." with her big mouth that was not an idle threat. " My mom told me you called last night so I rushed over as soon as I could. Tell Kara everything." She gushed. I would if she would let go.

"Alright Kara enough of the theatrics. Everyone sit and eat." mom interjected some reasoning into this mad house. " And Edward go wash up quick." Then she had to go and ruin it with a fool line like that. I need to show Kara that I'm more than cute how can I do so with my mother mothering me and Collin refusing to take me seriously. I padded to the sink and gave my face a once over with warm water. All done!

"So why'd you call?" Kara asked stuffing some scrambled eggs into her face and I do mean her face not her mouth. I daintily buttered my eggs as the hyena continued her rampage leaving a thing line of drool in her wake. Honestly the things my mother lets into the house.

"Nothing much we'll talk about it after breakfast. How did you get over here anyway?"

"Oh I had my mom drop me off on her way grocery shopping."

"Ward stop making faces." Collin scolded probably reading exactly what was running through my mind. The rest of breakfast progressed in relative silence with everyone offering tidbits of their week.

"Well, I'm going to say good night kiddos! Ward listen to Collin. Collin make sure they keep it down." With a yawn she drifted off to bed.

"Okay, spill!" Impatient Kara as usual.

"Let's take this to the couch." I hedged trying to put off the moment for as long as I could.

"Okay, now spill." Kara said bouncing slightly in her seat. Collin just watched looking surprisingly sober.

"Alright, last night I went over to Christian's to talk- " I began.

"Oh, my gosh. You and Christian alone together? What was his place like. Did you meet his folks? Were they like creepy and all?" The girl wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise.

"Uh, Kara can I get on with it? Anyhoo, while I was there we got physical." I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks under Collin's intense scrutiny and Kara's incredulous stare.

"By physical you mean..." She hesitated.

" I mean, we made out nothing more. Not that I wasn't shooting for more and he wasn't prepared to accommodate. Alas the fates were against us and his hah interrupted us. No, he didn't see anything and the door was locked, but I'm pretty sure he had a good idea what was going on if he cared to know. He was quite a character." I finished lamely when confronted by their astonished stares. I didn't mention all the rest because on some weird level I felt that it was private and Christian wouldn't want me to share that with anyone.

"I thought you told me, you went there to talk to him about me?" Collin questioned eyes narrowed.

"I did. And we got into a fight and..and..." I needed to calm down. No one was accusing me of anything at least not yet anyway.

"Oh, let me see if I got this right. You went to Christian's got in a fight made out made up and now yo want to know if you're normal and where to go from here?" Kara hazard a guess. Well the chick was 98 right.

"Basically, but I know where I want to go from here. I just need the technicalities worked out. Collin you've been around the block and Kara you know how to make the setting romantic with your feminine instincts and ll. So will you guys help a horny fag?" So I was stretching with the feminine instinct bit but you gotta butter up the girl.

"Well when ya put it that way... I'll do it." Kara said her eyes already alight with ideas. We both turned to Colin who still hadn't said anything. He continued to stare at the two of us with narrowed eyes. I couldn't tell what he thought.

"Come on Collin, help a guy out. You know I would do it for you..." Break out the puppy dog eyes. He continued to stare before rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"Fine. I'll help you get laid, but I refuse to cut out hearts or anything sappy like that." He growled. Yes! I'm getting nookie!