FicWad

( . )( . )
Cyrinda's POV
Joe let out a deep sigh, looked at me and asked "Why do you feel like it's your fault?"
I looked at him and replied "If I had actually done something, he would still be here."
"But you didn't." Joe replied. His answer shocked me. 
"Excuse me?" I asked and raised my eyebrow. 
"I'm sorry." He cleared his throat "That came out wrong."
"Yeah, it did." I scoffed. 
Joe looked at me for a second, looked away from me and began explaining "What I'm trying to say is, maybe it is a good thing that he died. And yes, I do miss him but maybe it was his time to go. We all have to go sometime."    
I stayed quiet and began thinking about what he just said. He did make a good point but I don't know how to get over Ashton dying. It just happened all of the sudden. It happened way too fast. Joe set his hand on my lap and said "He's in a better place, now."
I nodded my head and blinked a few times because my eyes were beginning to get watery.
"I know he is, I just miss him!"
He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him "I miss him too."
Then, I burst out crying. Fuck. I shouldn't be crying because crying is not going to bring him back, but I just can't help it! I put my arm around him and cried some more. 
"It's okay." Joe spoke in a low voice and kissed me on the forehead. "Let it all out, baby." He said, after giving me a kiss on my forehead. I began shaking. My head began hurting. I need to lay down. I want to go to sleep. 
"You should lay down." Joe whispered. Jeez, it's like he was reading my mind! I took my arm off him and nodded my head "I should." 
He took his arm off me and stood up. "Go get yourself ready. I'm going to go get you some water. Your head probably hurts." He said before walking out of the room. I smiled at how kind he was being. He's such a kind and caring person. He's always like that though. 

I stood up from the bed and walked towards the closet. I slipped my shoes off and tossed my socks in the dirty bin. I took off and tossed my shirt in the dirty bin and put on a clean, white shirt.  I took off my jeans and tossed that in the dirty bin as well. Then, I walked towards the bed and got under the covers. I usually slept in a t-shirt and with panties on. It's always been like that. I heard footsteps walk in. I slightly sat up and saw Joe with a glass of water in his hand.
"Here you go." He handed me the glass and sat by me. 
"Thanks" I said before taking a sip. I set the glass on the nightstand and sat up. I sighed and listened to the rain pouring outside. I never noticed it was raining until now. 
"You know," Joe said, knocking me out of my thoughts about the rain "If you ever need someone to talk to, you can go to me." 
I smiled and nodded at my head at him "Okay!" was my answer. I should've said something else. Now I feel stupid. 
"Baby, I'm serious. I've been through something like this, twice. The first time was when my friend died. The second was with my dad." Oh right, I remember that. Joe was so depressed when his dad passed. He didn't talk to me for almost a month. He didn't talk to anybody. He eventually did talk to me. He told me his thoughts about his dad passing. It was really upsetting. 
"Well," I sighed "I don't know what to do. I miss Ashton, very much. Maybe you are right, maybe it was his time to go. I feel like a horrible mother though. I witnessed him getting stabbed to death and I couldn't do a thing. She had beaten me so bad, I could barely get up. I just feel like it's all my fault." After I said that, lightening flashed. Perfect timing! 
"It's not your fault. You tried your best protecting them."
I stayed quiet. I didn't know what to say next. Right now, I need to focus on something else. I'm about to burst out crying again. 
"Lets change the subject." I quickly said. 
"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"
"I don't know." I said and began thinking about what we should talk about. Then he stood up and walk towards the closet.  
"I hope you don't mind if I change in front of you." He said, taking off his shoes and socks. 
"That's okay." I said and watched him undress. All he had left was his boxerbriefs. Ugh Joe looks so hot right now. I wish he take that off too but sadly, he put on a pair of sweatpants. Well look at the bright side, he's shirtless. He walked by the bedroom door and closed it. 
"I'm going to lay down with you." He said as he walked towards the bed and got under the covers with me. I laid back down and felt him pull me closer to him. I happily sighed and closed my eyes. 
"It feels great having you back in my arms." He whispered. 
"It feels great, too." I whispered back. We stayed like that until we fell asleep. 

I'm almost done with this story. I have like around 6 or 7 more chapters left!