- I love the coversation between Lulu and Kihmari. I like the way he is so subtle about prodding her out of her shell. I like the way she gets so incredibly prickly, but still can't help but respond to his laconic questions.
I like that Auron's presence soothes Lulu into a decent sleep at last. I love your decription of her body. It's very lovely.
"Lulu kept drifting into the fringes of nightmares and clawing her way out again like a boat navigating a treacherous reef." I hate to be obnoxious, but you've mixed your metaphors. I keep trying to picture a boat clawing its way out of a reef.
"Fire in the heart. Ice is in the bones. Thunder in the mind. Water in the womb." I would omit "is" after ice for the sake of consistency.
- Shall I praise you more from what you already know? :D I like the way you ended up doing the Lu/Auron scene from the other choice you had. This one flows much better and I think brings them that much closer. There's little bits of personal stuff that is usually hidden inside by both of them that they are letting the other see into. Beautiful as always and I think Kimahri's "trust" worries will certainly set Lu's contemplative side into motion for what is to come next in their journey. BTW, I have to agree with the people on your LJ, are we getting reaction shots? :D
- Oh. I am terribly moved by this one, probably too much to make a coherent review. Though a good bit of fluff is nice to balance out the lust and angst, this is no cheap fluff.
I like how Lulu is starting to reclaim herself, even with the added tension of Kimahri's suspicions. I can see Auron's singing voice being different than his speaking voice, and the hymn makes a lot of sense here.
My only tiniest nitpick may be my own fault, but I am anal about comprehension and I cannot discern what exactly happened to make the cot flip over. Auron settling his weight on it? Lulu jumping on him? Or?
Superb, as usual.
Author's responseOh, you are all being so incredibly SWEET to me today with wonderful reviews! Speaking of fluff. For what it's worth, I imagined that when Lulu lurched up like a jack-in-the-box and threw herself at Auron, she leaned too far and tipped it. Possibly I need to rephrase that section.
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