Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Life's a Bitch....So Are You
The next day Mandy went over to Pete’s after work with a smile that wouldn’t come off her face.
“And why are you so happy??” Pete said from the couch soon as Mandy opened the door.
Mandy shook her head and laughed to herself. “Is Sarah home?”
“Nope. I’m all by my lonesome self.” He said with a sarcastic tone.
“You’re a bad liar. Now who’s here?”
“Two people who want to murder you.” Kevin said as he stood behind Mandy.
“You should be happy for her!” Pete shouted from the kitchen as he poured himself soda.
“Whatever Pete’s right. It took you two 15 fuckin’ years though.” Brandon said as he sat down.
Mandy laughed as she walked into the kitchen.
“Soda?” Pete offered.
“No thanks.”
“Birth control and condoms?”
“Excuse me??”
“If you didn’t use protection I can and will murder you.”
“Jesus Christ Pete you have a screw loose. It’s none of your business but yes we used protection.”
“Good because that last bitch he was with had so many diseases we used to think she was an actual crab instead of just having it.”
“Yikes.”
“Yikes is right.”
Mandy sat down and put her hand underneath her chin and sighed.
“Do you love him?”
“Yeah.” She said as a smile formed on her face.
“Is he that good in bed?”
“Your friend is very talented.”
“Damn.”
After everything Mandy and Patrick had been through they were finally together. The two individuals were now a happy couple. Everything was perfect. Mandy even decided to move in with Patrick eventually.
“Do you like staying with me?” He said with his underneath his chin.
“No. I love it.” She said as she smiled at him and came over to his chair and sat in his lap.
“Good. I love it too. You keep this place in order.” Patrick said as he laughed.
“Yeah having OCD is sometimes a good thing.” Mandy said as she yawned.
“Tired?” Patrick asked as he rubbed her back as she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Not really. I finished doing everything now I’m bored.”
Patrick smiled. “We could-“
“Noooooooo.” Mandy whined.
“Why?” He pouted.
“I don’t feel like it.”
“Fine but if you come to me saying ‘Oh Patrick I need you right now.’ I’m gonna tell you I don’t feel like it.”
“Since when do I ever say that?” Mandy asked as she laughed.
“That’s not the point.”
“Thanksgiving is coming up.” She said as laid back down on his shoulder.
“Yeah that’s right. What do you wanna do?”
“My parents said we have to go there.”
“I can’t.” Patrick responded quickly.
“Why?”
“I’m scared.”
“Of what??” Mandy said as she giggled.
“What if they hate me? What if they kill me??”
“Why would they kill you?”
“Because I’m their only daughter’s boyfriend. Duh.”
Mandy laughed. “I don’t think they’ll kill you but if you don’t wanna go it’s okay.”
Patrick blinked. “It’s been awhile since you’ve seen your family. We can go.”
“I don’t care really. I just wanted you to meet them and prove how crazy they are.”
“Well I know that they raised you.” He joked as he tickled her sides.
Mandy grabbed his arms as her head went back. “Pleeease stop Patrick! I haate to be tickled!!” She whined while laughing.
“If you hate it why are you laughing?”
“I can’t help it stop please!!” She whined again as her laughter got louder. She even started to snort and Patrick had only made her do that once since they had been together. Hearing made Patrick burst into laughter. It was even more adorable then her actual laugh to him.
“Great now you’re laughing at me!” Mandy said as she covered her nose.
“I’m not! It’s just so cute!” Patrick laughed.
Mandy sighed. “So do you wanna go to hell or what?”
“Hell?”
“Georgia. Duh.”
“Oh. Yes I do.”
Mandy raised an eyebrow at him. “Fine.”
So no more than a few weeks later the duo made their way to Savannah, Georgia.
“I’m not so sure about this. Let’s go home.” Mandy said soon as they landed.
“Shouldn’t I be the nervous one?”
“It’s not that I’m nervous. I’m just not really looking forward to this.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” Patrick said as he grabbed her hand.
Mandy’s phone began to ring. It was her eldest brother Steve. ‘Why is he calling me? He should be picking me up.’ She thought as she answered her phone.
“Sup Steve-O?”
“Nothing it’s just I have bad news.”
“What?”
“I can’t pick you and what’s his face up I gotta pick up thing 1 and 2 from school.”
“Awww I’ll do it!”
“Really?” He said sounding surprised.
“Of course! It’s been forever since I’ve seen Jake and Suealien!”
“Okay but what about what’s his face?”
“Ummm…we’ll just get a rental car and he’ll come with me.”
“Alright sounds good.” He said as he hung up.
“What did he say?”
“I need to pick up some people.” Mandy said as she went over to the rental car counter.
Mandy pulled up in a shiny red convertible in front of the school where her niece and nephew attended and cringed. ‘God I forgot how much I hate school.’
“Why are we in front of an elementary school??” Patrick said sounding confused.
“We’re picking up some little people.”
“Little people?” Patrick said as he watched hundreds of little kids race out of the school. “Ohhhh. Wait a minute you have kids!?”
Mandy bursted with laughter. “I don’t have kids! They’re my brother’s kids. The ones I always talk about.”
“Ohhh yeaah the kid on your desktop who’s holding up a middle finger.”
Mandy nodded as she spotted the two children. It had been so long since she’d seen them. Sue cut her hair and Jacob grew a good 3 inches. They both looked around for their father but Sue her brother’s eldest spotted Mandy and her face lit up. She grabbed her brother’s hand and ran towards the car. Mandy climbed out and hugged them both.
“Mandy!! I missed you so much!” Sue screamed as she hugged Mandy tight.
“I missed you too Alien.” Mandy said as she ruffled her hair.
“I missed you more!” Jake said with a smile.
“I bet you did baby boy.” She said as she kissed the top of his head.
Patrick sat in the passenger’s seat watching Mandy with these kids. She looked good with them. Both of them were adorable. Jacob was 5 and had brown hair and brown eyes and a little round face. His older sister Sue Ellen had shoulder length brown hair and porcelain skin and big round brown eyes. You could tell Mandy was related to them. She had even been accused of being Sue’s mother a few times.
The two kids climbed in the car and noticed Patrick Sue kept staring at him as if she was trying to recognize him and Jacob’s eyes grew wide.
“PATRICK STUMP!!!” He screamed as he bounced up and down in his chair.
“Is it true??” Sue asked looking at Mandy.
“Is what true?” She and Patrick said.
“Is he your boyfriend?”
“Is he gonna be my uncle??!” Jacob asked with excitement.
“Yes and I can’t really answer that Jake.” Mandy said as she laughed.
“Are you guys in love?”
“I don’t know Sue what about you and Jimmy?”
“Fine. I’ll stop asking questions.”
“Okay I’ll start.” Patrick said as he smiled. “How old are you two?”
“I’m 9 and Jake’s 5.”
“And you’re in what grade?” Patrick said as he pointed to Sue.
“2nd.”
“Cool. Do you guys like school?”
“No.” Sue said as she folded her arms.
“Yes!” Jake said as his hand went up.
“I’m guessing you’re in kindergarten.” Patrick said as he laughed.
“How’s Mattie?” Mandy said as she started to feel guilty. She remembered she had missed his 1st birthday.
“He’s good. He’s crawling and he learned how to stand up.” Sue said.
“Who’s Mattie?”
“My little brother. He looks like me when I was a baby!” Jake said.
Mandy and Patrick laughed. “That’s true actually.” Mandy said as she pulled up to her house.
“This your place?”
“Yup. This house is the reason I am the way I am today.”
“Well then I love this house.” Patrick said as he kissed her cheek.
Mandy rang the doorbell and sat there waiting for someone in her family to answer.
“Mandy!”
Did this story just get cute?? Naaah.
“And why are you so happy??” Pete said from the couch soon as Mandy opened the door.
Mandy shook her head and laughed to herself. “Is Sarah home?”
“Nope. I’m all by my lonesome self.” He said with a sarcastic tone.
“You’re a bad liar. Now who’s here?”
“Two people who want to murder you.” Kevin said as he stood behind Mandy.
“You should be happy for her!” Pete shouted from the kitchen as he poured himself soda.
“Whatever Pete’s right. It took you two 15 fuckin’ years though.” Brandon said as he sat down.
Mandy laughed as she walked into the kitchen.
“Soda?” Pete offered.
“No thanks.”
“Birth control and condoms?”
“Excuse me??”
“If you didn’t use protection I can and will murder you.”
“Jesus Christ Pete you have a screw loose. It’s none of your business but yes we used protection.”
“Good because that last bitch he was with had so many diseases we used to think she was an actual crab instead of just having it.”
“Yikes.”
“Yikes is right.”
Mandy sat down and put her hand underneath her chin and sighed.
“Do you love him?”
“Yeah.” She said as a smile formed on her face.
“Is he that good in bed?”
“Your friend is very talented.”
“Damn.”
After everything Mandy and Patrick had been through they were finally together. The two individuals were now a happy couple. Everything was perfect. Mandy even decided to move in with Patrick eventually.
“Do you like staying with me?” He said with his underneath his chin.
“No. I love it.” She said as she smiled at him and came over to his chair and sat in his lap.
“Good. I love it too. You keep this place in order.” Patrick said as he laughed.
“Yeah having OCD is sometimes a good thing.” Mandy said as she yawned.
“Tired?” Patrick asked as he rubbed her back as she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Not really. I finished doing everything now I’m bored.”
Patrick smiled. “We could-“
“Noooooooo.” Mandy whined.
“Why?” He pouted.
“I don’t feel like it.”
“Fine but if you come to me saying ‘Oh Patrick I need you right now.’ I’m gonna tell you I don’t feel like it.”
“Since when do I ever say that?” Mandy asked as she laughed.
“That’s not the point.”
“Thanksgiving is coming up.” She said as laid back down on his shoulder.
“Yeah that’s right. What do you wanna do?”
“My parents said we have to go there.”
“I can’t.” Patrick responded quickly.
“Why?”
“I’m scared.”
“Of what??” Mandy said as she giggled.
“What if they hate me? What if they kill me??”
“Why would they kill you?”
“Because I’m their only daughter’s boyfriend. Duh.”
Mandy laughed. “I don’t think they’ll kill you but if you don’t wanna go it’s okay.”
Patrick blinked. “It’s been awhile since you’ve seen your family. We can go.”
“I don’t care really. I just wanted you to meet them and prove how crazy they are.”
“Well I know that they raised you.” He joked as he tickled her sides.
Mandy grabbed his arms as her head went back. “Pleeease stop Patrick! I haate to be tickled!!” She whined while laughing.
“If you hate it why are you laughing?”
“I can’t help it stop please!!” She whined again as her laughter got louder. She even started to snort and Patrick had only made her do that once since they had been together. Hearing made Patrick burst into laughter. It was even more adorable then her actual laugh to him.
“Great now you’re laughing at me!” Mandy said as she covered her nose.
“I’m not! It’s just so cute!” Patrick laughed.
Mandy sighed. “So do you wanna go to hell or what?”
“Hell?”
“Georgia. Duh.”
“Oh. Yes I do.”
Mandy raised an eyebrow at him. “Fine.”
So no more than a few weeks later the duo made their way to Savannah, Georgia.
“I’m not so sure about this. Let’s go home.” Mandy said soon as they landed.
“Shouldn’t I be the nervous one?”
“It’s not that I’m nervous. I’m just not really looking forward to this.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” Patrick said as he grabbed her hand.
Mandy’s phone began to ring. It was her eldest brother Steve. ‘Why is he calling me? He should be picking me up.’ She thought as she answered her phone.
“Sup Steve-O?”
“Nothing it’s just I have bad news.”
“What?”
“I can’t pick you and what’s his face up I gotta pick up thing 1 and 2 from school.”
“Awww I’ll do it!”
“Really?” He said sounding surprised.
“Of course! It’s been forever since I’ve seen Jake and Suealien!”
“Okay but what about what’s his face?”
“Ummm…we’ll just get a rental car and he’ll come with me.”
“Alright sounds good.” He said as he hung up.
“What did he say?”
“I need to pick up some people.” Mandy said as she went over to the rental car counter.
Mandy pulled up in a shiny red convertible in front of the school where her niece and nephew attended and cringed. ‘God I forgot how much I hate school.’
“Why are we in front of an elementary school??” Patrick said sounding confused.
“We’re picking up some little people.”
“Little people?” Patrick said as he watched hundreds of little kids race out of the school. “Ohhhh. Wait a minute you have kids!?”
Mandy bursted with laughter. “I don’t have kids! They’re my brother’s kids. The ones I always talk about.”
“Ohhh yeaah the kid on your desktop who’s holding up a middle finger.”
Mandy nodded as she spotted the two children. It had been so long since she’d seen them. Sue cut her hair and Jacob grew a good 3 inches. They both looked around for their father but Sue her brother’s eldest spotted Mandy and her face lit up. She grabbed her brother’s hand and ran towards the car. Mandy climbed out and hugged them both.
“Mandy!! I missed you so much!” Sue screamed as she hugged Mandy tight.
“I missed you too Alien.” Mandy said as she ruffled her hair.
“I missed you more!” Jake said with a smile.
“I bet you did baby boy.” She said as she kissed the top of his head.
Patrick sat in the passenger’s seat watching Mandy with these kids. She looked good with them. Both of them were adorable. Jacob was 5 and had brown hair and brown eyes and a little round face. His older sister Sue Ellen had shoulder length brown hair and porcelain skin and big round brown eyes. You could tell Mandy was related to them. She had even been accused of being Sue’s mother a few times.
The two kids climbed in the car and noticed Patrick Sue kept staring at him as if she was trying to recognize him and Jacob’s eyes grew wide.
“PATRICK STUMP!!!” He screamed as he bounced up and down in his chair.
“Is it true??” Sue asked looking at Mandy.
“Is what true?” She and Patrick said.
“Is he your boyfriend?”
“Is he gonna be my uncle??!” Jacob asked with excitement.
“Yes and I can’t really answer that Jake.” Mandy said as she laughed.
“Are you guys in love?”
“I don’t know Sue what about you and Jimmy?”
“Fine. I’ll stop asking questions.”
“Okay I’ll start.” Patrick said as he smiled. “How old are you two?”
“I’m 9 and Jake’s 5.”
“And you’re in what grade?” Patrick said as he pointed to Sue.
“2nd.”
“Cool. Do you guys like school?”
“No.” Sue said as she folded her arms.
“Yes!” Jake said as his hand went up.
“I’m guessing you’re in kindergarten.” Patrick said as he laughed.
“How’s Mattie?” Mandy said as she started to feel guilty. She remembered she had missed his 1st birthday.
“He’s good. He’s crawling and he learned how to stand up.” Sue said.
“Who’s Mattie?”
“My little brother. He looks like me when I was a baby!” Jake said.
Mandy and Patrick laughed. “That’s true actually.” Mandy said as she pulled up to her house.
“This your place?”
“Yup. This house is the reason I am the way I am today.”
“Well then I love this house.” Patrick said as he kissed her cheek.
Mandy rang the doorbell and sat there waiting for someone in her family to answer.
“Mandy!”
Did this story just get cute?? Naaah.
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