FicWad

BABETTE
Since the birth of My Chemical Romance, Frank had officially left Pency Prep and began playing for them. Gerard had written an album-long list of songs and they got signed to the local Indie label, Eyeball Records. I was so proud of Gerard it ached. He was taking something from the ashes and finding a beautiful gem inside. He had really taken control on most fronts.

The band had started work on recording their first studio album within two months. I was invited to a lot of the recording sessions but since more than half of them happened at five in the morning I usually declined. But today was different. Gerard insisted I come in and hear him record the vocals for this one song.

I got to the studio, which was really just a basement with equipment to find Gerard already in the booth, singing.

“Hand in mine, into your icy blues. And then I’d say to you we can take to the high way with this trunk of ammunition, too. I’d end my days with you in a hail of bullets. I’m trying, I’m trying to let you know just how much you mean to me. And after all the, all the things we put each other through.” I stood there, watching behind the glass as Gerard sang he looked right into my eyes with the most apologetic expression I’d ever seen.

I just stood in a romantic daze as the song continued with lyrics like “but this time I mean it, I’ll let you know just how much you mean to me” and “know how much I want to show you you’re the only one”. I soon found myself having to wipe away tiny teardrops off my cheeks. Gerard’s voice was so edgy, yet pure. It was an beautiful combination that showed me that this was coming from him personally.

“I’ll meet your eyes, I mean this forever.” Gerard finished the final lyrics in a raspy shout. “Was that good?” he asked Brian, the band’s manager as he removed the headphones. Brian gave him the thumbs up and he stepped out of the booth.

“Is that what you wanted to show me?” I asked, pulling him into a hug.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for all the shit I put you through. You deserve so much better than this.” Gerard apologized. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes.

“Don’t worry, this is all I ever wanted. Is that song going to be on the album?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah, track six I think.” He smiled. You could see the pride shining under his skin. I grinned back up and him and stole a quick kiss off his lips.

“Thank you so much for that.” I said, laying my head on his chest again.

“You deserved it.” Gerard said quietly. We hugged like that for a long time. I took in his scent, vodka and cigarettes. I was so disappointed with his drinking, having the feeling that he would let it get out of control again. He promised me that he was careful but I didn’t believe him.

“You smell like booze. You’ve been drinking again.” I said sourly. Gerard sighed heavily, blowing hot breath into my hair. I didn't want to start anything, but I hated it when he drank. It really got under my skin.

“Can we please not talk about this?” He asked. “I just want to have a nice conversation with you, without talking about this.” He pleaded.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Brian mumbled, sensing the oncoming argument before stealthily making his way out of the basement.

“No, Gerard. I love you, I don’t want to see you hurt again.” I said firmly, taking a step back from him. He put his hand to his forehead and sighed again.

“I’m not gonna get hurt! I can take care of myself!” he said, as if this was an obvious fact.

“No you can’t! Do you not remember what happened at the hospital?” I said loudly. Gerard cringed.

“I remember, Babes.” He said, lowering his voice.

“They pumped you full of this black goop and you threw up for three days!” I yelled in his face, trying to get it through his head how serious this was. "I can't be your mother Gerard! I can't take care of you all the time!"

“What are you talking about? Good god will you shut up!” he fired back, throwing his hands up in angry exasperation.

“No! Not until you listen!” I shouted at him.

“All I do is listen! I listen to you and Elodie bitch about this every fucking day! I’m tired of listening! I’m tired of hearing you bullshit bitching!” he yelled. I but the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. Crying would only show weakness at this point. I couldn't cry, even if I felt like I was dying inside, which I was.

“And I’m tired of dealing with your bullshit! You promised that you would stop drinking, Gerard. You promised.” I said through the lump in my throat.

“It isn’t that simple. Things changed Babes. Everything is different now.” Gerard said quietly, taking a seat in Brians chair and cupping his head in his palm.

“Why not? Why can’t you just get up and go to an AA meeting or something? Would it really be that hard?” I asked, my voice rising and becoming shrill again. The tears were threatening to pour out but I faught them like a tiger.

“YES, OKAY IT WOULD!” Gerard said fiercely, standing up so fast that the chair fell over. I cowered back.

“Y’know what, I’m leaving. I can’t deal with you right now.” I said, throwing my hands up in defeat and walking toward the door.

"Babes, wait. Come back." Gerard called. I bit my trembling lower lip and I opened it to find the rest of the band listening in on our argument.

“Uh…hi.” Frank said guiltily. I smiled as blatantly as I could muster in my state.

“Hi guys. Maybe you can talk some sense into Gerard.” I said, shooting a death glare at Gerard before I stomped out of the doorway.

“Thanks for the song.” I called back to Gerard.