Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > This Is Where It Starts
BABETTE
Over the next few weeks Gerard and I didn’t talk much. I would come to the hospital and visit him and try to get him to go to rehab, but his mind was made up. He was going to Japan tomorrow morning. I felt hurt, angry, and abandoned. How could he just leave me like this after all that happened? After all that I went through to keep him sane and healthy? More than anything I felt betrayed.
There was a knock at the door. It was Gerard.
“What’s wrong? You look scared?” I asked quietly, welcoming him into the living room. Elodie and Ben were already fast asleep and I didn’t want to wake them. Gerard shook his head when I asked him if he wanted to sit down.
“Babes, we need to talk…” he began. I eyed him suspiciously.
“Okay…I’m listening…” I said, urging him to continue. He took a big breath and exhaled, looking at his feet and them up at me again.
“Babes, what you said at the hospital got me thinking. I don’t wanna let you down anymore.” He started. I liked where this was going so far.
“So, I’m going to have to break it off.” His words were simple and stressful. My world fell to the floor around me and my stomach and heart felt like they had fallen out my ass.
“What?” I asked, unable to comprehend was he was telling me.
“I have to leave. I can’t keep doing this to you anymore. We’re breaking up.” He said again, the words jamming into my chest like a steel knife and a lump the size of a cinder block building in my chest.
“You’re breaking up with me? What in the actual fuck?” I shouted. I was pissed. I was devastated. “If anything I should be breaking up with you! After all I’ve done for you? After all the shit you put me through? Your just going to end it?” I asked, my devastation showing through my voice now.
“Babs…” he’d never called me anything other than “babes” before. He might as well have ripped my heart out of my chest and thrown it on the floor. I choked a little.
“Oh, so that’s it then, huh? Just gonna end it here and leave me to go out and party with your rock and roll friends? Its just that easy?” I spat, tasting the bitter and angry words in my mouth as I said them. Gerard sighed.
“Its not like that, I just don’t want you to get hurt.” Gerard tried to explain.
“You don’t want me to get hurt?! You think this isn’t hurting me?!” I shrieked at him, the tears flowing strongly now. Gerard tried to put his arm around me and I smacked it away.
“You don’t understand. I’m sick Babs, really sick.” Gerard said, trying to justify what he was doing.
“No, you aren’t.” I fired back.
“Babs, look at me!” Gerard yelled, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look straight at his face. At first I didn’t see it, but then it hit me.
He looked like a corpse from a horror movie, a living breathing corpse. His skin was pale and waxy, his eyes ringed with deep purple circles. He looked as though he could keel over any second. He looked weak, fragile, broken…
“My god…” I mumbled breathlessly. Gerard let go of me.
“I’m dying Babs, dying. The only way I’m coming back from Japan is in a body bag.” He said darkly. I just stood there and whimpered, biting my thumbnail. “I’ve already said my good-byes to everybody else. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
His words cut me, each one lashing a wound deeper than the last. I couldn’t comprehend as I watched the chain of events unfold. I could barely speak.
“Gerard, just stay with me, please. Just for tonight.” I pleaded, grabbing his hand. He shrugged me off.
“I have to go Babs, we’re over. Don’t meet us at the airport when we get back.” He said finally.
“Fine! Get out then! Get the fuck out!” I shouted again. Gerard winced and walked away.
And then I was left there, with only scraps and broken pieces of the relationship Gerard had just taken an iron hammer to. I walked stiffly to my bedroom and curled up, clutching a pillow for dear life. I hadn’t ever cried so hard in my life. All I had left were the memories that filled this bed. Nostalgia chilled my bones as I recalled all the love that was made, all the kisses that where given, and all the mornings waking up and seeing his face.
And it tore me apart.
A/N
Sorry for such a depressing chapter. The night is always darkest before the dawn!
Over the next few weeks Gerard and I didn’t talk much. I would come to the hospital and visit him and try to get him to go to rehab, but his mind was made up. He was going to Japan tomorrow morning. I felt hurt, angry, and abandoned. How could he just leave me like this after all that happened? After all that I went through to keep him sane and healthy? More than anything I felt betrayed.
There was a knock at the door. It was Gerard.
“What’s wrong? You look scared?” I asked quietly, welcoming him into the living room. Elodie and Ben were already fast asleep and I didn’t want to wake them. Gerard shook his head when I asked him if he wanted to sit down.
“Babes, we need to talk…” he began. I eyed him suspiciously.
“Okay…I’m listening…” I said, urging him to continue. He took a big breath and exhaled, looking at his feet and them up at me again.
“Babes, what you said at the hospital got me thinking. I don’t wanna let you down anymore.” He started. I liked where this was going so far.
“So, I’m going to have to break it off.” His words were simple and stressful. My world fell to the floor around me and my stomach and heart felt like they had fallen out my ass.
“What?” I asked, unable to comprehend was he was telling me.
“I have to leave. I can’t keep doing this to you anymore. We’re breaking up.” He said again, the words jamming into my chest like a steel knife and a lump the size of a cinder block building in my chest.
“You’re breaking up with me? What in the actual fuck?” I shouted. I was pissed. I was devastated. “If anything I should be breaking up with you! After all I’ve done for you? After all the shit you put me through? Your just going to end it?” I asked, my devastation showing through my voice now.
“Babs…” he’d never called me anything other than “babes” before. He might as well have ripped my heart out of my chest and thrown it on the floor. I choked a little.
“Oh, so that’s it then, huh? Just gonna end it here and leave me to go out and party with your rock and roll friends? Its just that easy?” I spat, tasting the bitter and angry words in my mouth as I said them. Gerard sighed.
“Its not like that, I just don’t want you to get hurt.” Gerard tried to explain.
“You don’t want me to get hurt?! You think this isn’t hurting me?!” I shrieked at him, the tears flowing strongly now. Gerard tried to put his arm around me and I smacked it away.
“You don’t understand. I’m sick Babs, really sick.” Gerard said, trying to justify what he was doing.
“No, you aren’t.” I fired back.
“Babs, look at me!” Gerard yelled, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look straight at his face. At first I didn’t see it, but then it hit me.
He looked like a corpse from a horror movie, a living breathing corpse. His skin was pale and waxy, his eyes ringed with deep purple circles. He looked as though he could keel over any second. He looked weak, fragile, broken…
“My god…” I mumbled breathlessly. Gerard let go of me.
“I’m dying Babs, dying. The only way I’m coming back from Japan is in a body bag.” He said darkly. I just stood there and whimpered, biting my thumbnail. “I’ve already said my good-byes to everybody else. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
His words cut me, each one lashing a wound deeper than the last. I couldn’t comprehend as I watched the chain of events unfold. I could barely speak.
“Gerard, just stay with me, please. Just for tonight.” I pleaded, grabbing his hand. He shrugged me off.
“I have to go Babs, we’re over. Don’t meet us at the airport when we get back.” He said finally.
“Fine! Get out then! Get the fuck out!” I shouted again. Gerard winced and walked away.
And then I was left there, with only scraps and broken pieces of the relationship Gerard had just taken an iron hammer to. I walked stiffly to my bedroom and curled up, clutching a pillow for dear life. I hadn’t ever cried so hard in my life. All I had left were the memories that filled this bed. Nostalgia chilled my bones as I recalled all the love that was made, all the kisses that where given, and all the mornings waking up and seeing his face.
And it tore me apart.
A/N
Sorry for such a depressing chapter. The night is always darkest before the dawn!
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