FicWad

When I awoke again, I felt very light-headed. Something didn't feel quite right, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was. There was an ache around where my stomach should be, but the knot I had felt there earlier was gone. I also found that my breathing was no longer as constricted as before. Those were good signs. But where the hell was I? I was lying on my back somewhere in a white room staring at a white ceiling. I figured this was somewhere in the hospital, but I wasn't sure where.

I tried to sit up and figure out where I was. Unfortunately, I found I was still too weak to sit up and ended up flopping listlessly onto my back once more. From nearby, I could hear some voices chatting. I figured it was either a doctor or one of my friends. Suddenly, a new thought struck me: the surgery was over and I was still alive! True, I was kind of weak and very hungry, but besides for that, I felt much better than before. Everything was going to be okay now.

Feeling quite a bit happier and much better physically than I had in days, I tried to twist onto my side to see who was talking next to the bed I was lying in. Unfortunately, I had several different tubes hooked up to me and was unable to move. Getting a better look around myself, I saw that I had four different tubes attached to me. Seeing this definitely scared me. I didn't like seeing tubes hanging out of my arms like that. What was the point of them? Were they giving me oxygen or more blood or something? I really had no idea what they were for since I wasn't a doctor.

A little scared and nervous in this strange hospital bedroom, I found myself wanting to talk to one of my friends as soon as possible. I needed something to eat and I needed to figure out what the hell all these tubes sticking into me where for. Calling the first name that came to my lips, I called out, "Kirk? Are you still here?" It hit me then that Kirk may not still be here. He might've gone back to the hotel with Cliff and Lars. A shudder crept through my body. Even though I knew the hospital had probably saved my life, I still wasn't over my phobia of doctors and hospitals. Being left alone in a hospital was very unnerving for me.

Just when I really was thinking that I was indeed alone, I felt something warm and soft grip my hand. The touch was comforting and I immediately relaxed. With a small smile, I yawned and then said, "Hey Kirk. Thanks for staying with me through all this. What happened during the surgery? Did they cut me open and do all that gross stuff?" I had always thought that surgery was gross and that they always ended up cutting people open. I had only accepted the surgical procedure last night since it was pretty much the only way to remove the tumor from my body and to save my life.

I expected to hear Kirk's calm, smoothing voice, but instead there was silence. Thinking that maybe I wasn't with Kirk after all, I tried once more to twist onto my side to see who was holding my hand. Once again, all those damn tubes kept me in place. Abruptly, I felt someone grip my other hand tightly. This hand was smoother and softer than the hand that was already holding my left hand. A voice suddenly in my ear, "Olivia! You're awake! Oh thank god you're still alive!"

That was definitely Kirk. I sighed with relief at hearing his voice again. For a minute, I thought he might have left me and gone back to the hotel. However, since Kirk was holding my right hand, who was holding my left hand? Wondering who the mysterious stranger was, I said, "Yeah, I'm awake. I'm starving though, do you think they have any food in this place? Also, are the other guys still here? If they are, they should probably get back to the hotel. Don't you have a show tonight?"

"Well, we had a show," Kirk admitted, leaning over my bed so I could finally see his familiar curly black locks, olive skin, and kind eyes, "We decided to cancel it though. There was no way we were going to do another show when you were still in the hospital. I've been waiting a long time for you to wake up. You had a pulse, but it took you a whole two days to finally open your eyes!"

Wait, it was two whole days after the surgery? I would never have guessed that. Apparently, the chemical that Doctor Kate had used to put be out had really done its job. I was even having a hard time staying awake right now due to my sleepiness. I think the only thing that kept me awake was my hunger.

Forgetting about my hunger for two seconds, I thought about what Kirk had said. Metallica really shouldn't cancel one of their shows just because I was in the hospital. I was doing exactly what Lars had said I would do; I was holding up the band. Since that was the very last thing I wanted to do, I quickly turned to Kirk and said, "Don't cancel the show, Kirk! Seriously, just leave me here. I'm fine. It's not like I need someone to watch over me. I'm just lying here like a prisoner in this bed anyways. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Besides, Lars is gonna be really pissed about the show being canceled."

"Actually, Lars was the one who suggested canceling the show," Kirk told me. I gaped at him in surprise. Lars had actually decided to cancel a show? What was the world coming to? Seeing my surprise and shock, Kirk laughed and said, "Lars really does want you to get better, Olivia. He doesn't hate you as much as you seem to think he does. As a matter of fact, he's been here a lot over the last few days. He left just a couple of hours ago, but he was here all morning."

Something was really not right with this. I just couldn't seem to image Lars sitting by my hospital bedsides waiting for me to wake up. Maybe I was asleep or dreaming. I pinched my left arm hard in an attempt to see if I was still dreaming. Kirk, looking confused, quickly swatted my hand away and asked, "What are you doing? Don't hurt yourself more!"

"I'm making sure I'm not in a dream," I told Kirk as if pinching myself was one of the most normal things to do. "I mean, since when does Lars do anything nice for me?" Kirk laughed, still looking down at me. Gazing into those beautiful eyes, I found that familiar electrical shiver pump through my body as I stared at him.

"Lars has kind of turned around a bit," Kirk explained. "I think your near-death experience made him change his mind about you. Anyways, back to your original questions. Cliff stayed here for the first two nights, but then he eventually went back to the hotel to get some sleep. He's coming back to visit in a few hours. Until then, you're stuck with me. Didn't you just say you were hungry?"

I nodded as my stomach rumbled loudly. Forgetting about food for another minute, I pointed to all the tubes I was connected to and asked Kirk, "What are these for? I don't like them. Can't you pull them out or something?" Kirk hastily shook his head, "Nah, those are helping you. I'm not exactly sure what they do, but the doctor told me that they were important and that you weren't suppose to remove them. Sorry. I'm sure it's uncomfortable to have all those in you, hm?"

I nodded again. Nodding was starting to seem a lot easier than saying yes. Even talking seemed like an exhausting feat. A yawn spontaneously formed and I found myself yawning widely and feeling very sleepy. Kirk smiled at my yawn and said, "I'll go see the doctors about getting you some food. Until then, why don't you get some sleep?"

"Sounds good to me!" I replied eagerly, finding that I was already half-asleep. Before Kirk turned to leave, he leaned down close and stroked his fingertips along my cheek, saying, "I knew you could do it, Olivia. I'm so proud of you." I was speechless as Kirk stroked my skin and leaned in close to me. For a moment, I thought he might kiss me. Unfortunately, he didn't though. Instead, he turned and headed off to some place beyond my vision.

I was about to drift off to sleep when I felt someone squeeze my left hand ever so softly. That was when I remembered that someone else was with me. Automatically, I snapped my eyes back open and said, "Cliff?" I wasn't sure who else would be holding my hand and Cliff was the first person who came to my mind.

"Um...no," a familiar voice said. A second later, James' blonde head appeared above me. I was so shocked to see James that I forgot to breathe for a few minutes. I remembered all the unkind things James had said to Lars about me and about how he had been so rude on the phone to Kirk. I half expected that he would abandon me and not bother to come visit me at the hospital to see how I was doing. However, that was definitely James Hetfield standing above my bed right now.

Still pretty shocked to see him, I managed out a simple, "Hey." James gave me small, nervous smile and returned the greeting, "Hey." We started at each other for a long moment without either of us saying anything. To be honest, I wasn't sure what to say to James. I wasn't sure if he was upset at me or pissed off still over the whole Kirk and me deal.

To my surprise, James suddenly tore his eyes away from mine and a few silent tears fell from his eyes. Now I was really starting to think that I was hallucinating. I had never ever seen James cry like this before. James simply didn't do this. Maybe I was in a dream after all. However, when one of James' cold tears fell on my cheek, I had to admit they were quite real. I wanted to swat the tear off my face, but it was rather hard to do when my arms were pinned by my sides.

Still puzzled over why James was crying, I said, "Hey, watch where your tears are going! They're cold." James gave me another sad smile as he wiped his eyes. Staring at him for a moment, I decided I really needed to get to the bottom of all this, "Okay, spill the beans. What are you crying over? Did you do something you're feeling guilty about or what?"

James nodded and tried to make his voice steady as he said, "I've been amazingly fucking stupid lately. I never meant to say any of those hurtful things about you. I was just really angry about the band equipment. I needed to get my anger out somehow, you know? You were an easy target since you weren't around. I...I'm so sorry."

Seeing James so repentant like this melted my heart and I would've given him a hug if I hadn't been confined to my bed. In my circumstances, all I was able to do was to squeeze his hand tightly in mine and say, "Hey, it's okay. These things happen. You didn't seem like yourself that day anyways. You seemed pretty drunk. I do have a question for you though. That night while you were off drinking? Were you...um...sleeping with another girl?"