FicWad

Abbey was alone; walking in no particular direction. She left the party venue out the back door, and wandered towards My Chemical Romance’s tour bus. Suddenly, she felt overwhelmingly tired, and a nap on the tour bus seemed incredibly tempting. She approached the tour bus and hopped on, after showing the security guard her pass. She stumbled through the kitchen, down the hallway, her hands gripping the walls for support, and found herself in the bunkroom. She pulled back the curtain of the first bottom bunk on the left. She saw a sketchbook sitting open on top of the covers; this was evidently Gerard’s bunk.

Even the thought of Gerard made her feel that tiny bit less upset about the fight she had just had with Frank, so she clumsily crawled beneath covers. She flicked absentmindedly through the sketchbook, admiring the characters Gerard had drawn that were obviously intended to be relevant to The Black Parade. She paused, taking in the image of a woman under which Gerard had messily scrawled “Mother War.” The woman was dressed in a long, old fashioned gown, a gas mask obscuring her face. Abbey wondered why she wore the mask; was she horribly disfigured in some way and ashamed of the way she looked? Or was she simply scared of showing who she really was, trying to protect herself? Abbey could certainly relate to the latter. Pondering this idea, she drifted into a deep sleep.

Abbey awoke to see Mikey above her, stroking her hair, watching her intently. She suddenly realised there were fresh tears on her cheeks; she had been dreaming of Darcey. She hastily wiped at her face. ‘Are you alright?’ Mikey asked softly, a concerned look on his face.
‘No, not really.’ Abbey replied, sitting up next to him. He put his hand on her shoulder.
‘Why not?’
‘Mikey, she’s dead.’ Abbey said, as if Mikey was daft for even asking.
‘But think of everyone around you who’s still here.’
‘Well they shouldn’t be here. Nothing should exist. How can the world keep spinning when she’s gone? How can everyone keep living their lives pretending everything’s okay when it’s not? She was the kindest, most pure person I ever knew. Why should every horrible, low creature; people like me, get to live, when she didn’t?’ Abbey suddenly felt hysterical. She needed Mikey to answer all these questions; make sense of everything. She had been trying to for the past month, and she simply could not.
Mikey watched her tears fall patiently, and wiped each away with the back of his index finger. ‘Well maybe that’s why Abs. Maybe she was just too good for this world. Maybe she’s happier now. Have you considered that?’
Abbey finally looked at Mikey with tear-filled eyes, a hopeful look spread across her face. ‘Do you think so?’ Mikey nodded in reply, smiling at her.

‘So, don’t you think,’ Mikey began, taking advantage of her new hope. ‘That maybe you need to pull yourself back together and start being strong? You could be happy again, Abs. It might take a while, but you’ll get there, because you deserve it.’
Abbey shook her head, sniffing. ‘I don’t know, Mikey. I don’t think you see me as I really am.’
Mikey sighed. ‘Remember when you didn’t come to the hospital that day? I thought you didn’t love me enough to be there. I thought it was because you’d finally figured out what a lost cause I was. But you do. You love me. And I love you. And that’s because I see you just as you are; an amazing person who’s got the raw end of the deal in life. And you thought the same about me, I just didn’t know it. You’re one of my best friends, and I care about you more than almost anything in the world. And I can’t let you be like this. I can’t watch you in pain, because you deserve better than that. And I know you felt the same way about me when you saw me in hospital.’ Abbey smiled at him, her tear stained face lighting up at what he had said. They looked at each other for a moment, before Abbey leaned in to kiss him. Mikey gently broke the kiss. ‘I think there’s someone else you’d rather be doing this with.’ He told her.

Abbey stared at Mikey, processing what he had just said to her. ‘Who? Gerard? Why would I rather be doing this with him? You understand me Mikey, you always have! All he does is criticize my drinking, the way I act, who I love. You actually talk to me about it. He makes me so angry, he thinks he knows better than everyone else!’ She growled. She tried to move close to him again but he held her shoulders tightly.
‘Even if you’re being honest and you don’t feel anything for Gerard, we’re not doing this when you’ve been drinking,’ Mikey said firmly.
‘But I don’t feel anything for him!’
‘Okay, but before you say anything else ridiculous, just remember whose bunk it was you crawled into tonight when you felt sad,’ Mikey said, kissing her cheek before he turned to leave. Abbey looked around her at the bunk she was in and mentally cursed herself for a moment.

~

After an hour of thinking, Abbey had finally made her decision. It had been so clear, she could not believe she had not seen it before. She and Mikey had always shared a less than conventional relationship, but it was not love. What she felt with Mikey was comfort; they shared interests, and they joked. Admittedly, at times, she was attracted to him. But it was as clear as day. They were made to be friends. Mikey had evidently figured that out before her. Abbey’s thoughts had moved on to Gerard. There was definitely an element of attraction there; he had made her feel so hot and bothered on their date. She was always staring at him during conversations, observing the way he talked out of the side of his mouth, the way he pushed his hair back, the way his face lit up when he laughed. She felt safe with him, and he loved with all his heart, so much that it hurt him, and she knew that’s why he had said he didn’t want her around anymore. He was trying to protect himself. But what if she could stop hurting him, having now sorted out her feelings? Finally, she had realized that although she loved Mikey, she was in love with Gerard; a fine distinction, but one that made all the difference in the world. She wanted to scream it from the rooftops.

Abbey could not waste another moment. She was going to get down on her knees if she had to, but she was going to convince Gerard to give her another chance, whatever it took. She got to her feet, and walked purposefully, having sobered up slightly in her time napping and thinking. She made her way through the kitchen, out of the tour bus, and began walking towards the venue. She presumed Gerard would be out the front, smoking, avoiding the booze-fuelled party, so she began making her way around the side of the club. ‘Hey!’ A voice called out from behind her. She did not recognize the voice, so she simply kept walking, resolute to find Gerard.

Suddenly, a blow to her head sent her straight to the ground. Her head hit the pavement, and she reached to touch the back of her head; it felt wet. She turned her grazed face back to see her attacker; the large man she had spilled her drink on earlier was standing looking down upon her, swaying drunkenly on the spot. ‘I don’t like bitches who think they can be smart with me and get away with it.’ He swiftly kicked her in the side. ‘If your little boyfriend hadn’t been there I would have kicked your face in then. But now will do, you dirty little slut. I’m going to teach you a real good lesson.’ A tear ran down Abbey’s cheek as she thought of Gerard. Would he ever know how she felt? Abbey barely felt the blows as thoughts raced through her mind. She had to apologise to Frank; what if she died and never could? And Aleisha; who she had been a horrible sister to this past month. Her band; would they replace her after she died? How could she let Mikey know that she understood now, and she wanted to be his best friend in the entire world? Abbey sobbed silently as the man kicked and punched her, satisfied that he was the cause of her tears. She could already feel the bruises forming, she could taste the blood on her lips, feel the wetness of it all over her body. She was not going to survive, and the people she loved were never going to know how much she cared. A punch to the face, and all Abbey saw was black.

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Oh no! What's going to happen?!
Rate and review please, I need your love and encouragement to move forward in this time of difficulty - and by time of difficulty I mean time of guilt, where I feel horrible for putting Abbey through so much shit.
Let me know what you think will happen next :)