Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Asylum
Weeks have past since the whole suicide with Tyler I have been afraid to go near him. Ever since he hug me and that safe feeling return, I was afraid something would happen. I hated myself for loving that feeling but at the same time, I should only feel safe with Gerard not with Tyler. I was sitting in Stacy’s office trying to see why I felt safe with Tyler.
“When Tyler came back I was happy to see he was alright, he told me he no longer had a crush on me. When he said that I felt sad but I just brush it off. Well when I did my test for the dark I let fear win, I ran trying to fine somewhere safe while I was running I ran into Tyler. He hug me and for the first time in a month I felt safe, I hated myself the only person who ever made me feel like that was Gerard, “ I said explaining.
“I think since you haven’t seen Gerard in a month that you’re wanting that safe feeling from someone. So you grown close to Tyler and he made you feel safe. You don’t have to hate your self over it Frank, your just wanting to feel safe and you got it from Tyler since Gerard isn’t here to make you feel safe, “Stacey said.
“I do hate myself before I met Gerard I feared Stranger then Gerard showed me I could trust him. I only trusted him he was the only one who could touch me. And now I have another person doing the same thing I hate what’s happening I want to go back to the old me, “I said while looking at her.
“Your changing your fears are going away slowly it’s scary because that’s all you ever known was to fear. I know you want to get better to no longer fear it will take time but your doing so well, don’t let fear take over your life, “She replied.
Stacey was right all I ever known was to fear I never known to trust stranger’s or anything for the matter. I was afraid of changing I don’t like how I am trusting more people then before but I keep telling myself this is for the best.
“I keep telling myself this is for the best that I need to change and I want too but at the same time I want to go back to the old me and live life my way, “I said.
“You have doubt that’s normal you fear if you change you’ll hate the new person you have become. But I know deep down you want this you want to change, you want to change for yourself and also for Gerard, “She replied.
After talking for an hour I left her office feeling a little better then what I was I did want to change I wanted to show Gerard I could be a normal person without my fears, but I also feared he would hate the new person I had become. Gerard only see’s me as the insane person what if when he see’s the new person that doesn’t go insane would he still love me, thoughts like that ran through my mind.
I found myself walking outside I had no idea how I got out here I walk outside to see Tyler sitting at one of the tables outside. I walk over towards him and sit down trying to clear my mind.
“So how did you go with Stacey, “Tyler asks while looking at me.
“I explain to her how I felt in some ways she’s right but I don’t know. Tyler when you hug me that day when I failed my test I felt safe something I only felt with Gerard I did know what to think. I have been staying away from you fearing it was grow stronger, before I met Gerard or you I feared people I would never let anyone touch me and now look at me, “I said.
“I understand its scary feeling that when you only felt it with one person, and I just want you to know I would never try to take you from Gerard. I know before it sounded like it but I wasn’t thinking straight I can see how much you love him and I would never do anything to change it,” Tyler replied.
“I know you wouldn’t and I understand about that whole thing I didn’t before but now I do. When you told me you no longer saw me in that way anymore I felt a little sad I hated myself for feeling like that, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, “ I said while looking away.
“Do you think you have feelings for me, “He asks. I could feel his eyes looking at me. I wanted to say no but at the same time it could be lie, I mean I have grown so close to him what if I am starting to have feelings towards him. Not having Gerard here has been beyond here, I don’t know what to think.
“I don’t know I don’t won’t too because I have someone, I have no idea. “ I replied.
“There’s one way to find out if you do have feeling for me, “He said.
I look at him I knew what he was talking back I hated myself for even thinking about it but at the same time, I had to know if my feelings were real or just feelings for having someone who cares. Before I knew it, I felt his lips on mine, my heart stop. I felt nothing at the moment I was happy to know my feelings were not real but what was happening next I was not happy for,
“Frank…”
Like I said I'll be doing a lot of updating this week. I don't know if I will update again tonight though..so you may just have to wait :). Thanks for the reviews.
“When Tyler came back I was happy to see he was alright, he told me he no longer had a crush on me. When he said that I felt sad but I just brush it off. Well when I did my test for the dark I let fear win, I ran trying to fine somewhere safe while I was running I ran into Tyler. He hug me and for the first time in a month I felt safe, I hated myself the only person who ever made me feel like that was Gerard, “ I said explaining.
“I think since you haven’t seen Gerard in a month that you’re wanting that safe feeling from someone. So you grown close to Tyler and he made you feel safe. You don’t have to hate your self over it Frank, your just wanting to feel safe and you got it from Tyler since Gerard isn’t here to make you feel safe, “Stacey said.
“I do hate myself before I met Gerard I feared Stranger then Gerard showed me I could trust him. I only trusted him he was the only one who could touch me. And now I have another person doing the same thing I hate what’s happening I want to go back to the old me, “I said while looking at her.
“Your changing your fears are going away slowly it’s scary because that’s all you ever known was to fear. I know you want to get better to no longer fear it will take time but your doing so well, don’t let fear take over your life, “She replied.
Stacey was right all I ever known was to fear I never known to trust stranger’s or anything for the matter. I was afraid of changing I don’t like how I am trusting more people then before but I keep telling myself this is for the best.
“I keep telling myself this is for the best that I need to change and I want too but at the same time I want to go back to the old me and live life my way, “I said.
“You have doubt that’s normal you fear if you change you’ll hate the new person you have become. But I know deep down you want this you want to change, you want to change for yourself and also for Gerard, “She replied.
After talking for an hour I left her office feeling a little better then what I was I did want to change I wanted to show Gerard I could be a normal person without my fears, but I also feared he would hate the new person I had become. Gerard only see’s me as the insane person what if when he see’s the new person that doesn’t go insane would he still love me, thoughts like that ran through my mind.
I found myself walking outside I had no idea how I got out here I walk outside to see Tyler sitting at one of the tables outside. I walk over towards him and sit down trying to clear my mind.
“So how did you go with Stacey, “Tyler asks while looking at me.
“I explain to her how I felt in some ways she’s right but I don’t know. Tyler when you hug me that day when I failed my test I felt safe something I only felt with Gerard I did know what to think. I have been staying away from you fearing it was grow stronger, before I met Gerard or you I feared people I would never let anyone touch me and now look at me, “I said.
“I understand its scary feeling that when you only felt it with one person, and I just want you to know I would never try to take you from Gerard. I know before it sounded like it but I wasn’t thinking straight I can see how much you love him and I would never do anything to change it,” Tyler replied.
“I know you wouldn’t and I understand about that whole thing I didn’t before but now I do. When you told me you no longer saw me in that way anymore I felt a little sad I hated myself for feeling like that, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, “ I said while looking away.
“Do you think you have feelings for me, “He asks. I could feel his eyes looking at me. I wanted to say no but at the same time it could be lie, I mean I have grown so close to him what if I am starting to have feelings towards him. Not having Gerard here has been beyond here, I don’t know what to think.
“I don’t know I don’t won’t too because I have someone, I have no idea. “ I replied.
“There’s one way to find out if you do have feeling for me, “He said.
I look at him I knew what he was talking back I hated myself for even thinking about it but at the same time, I had to know if my feelings were real or just feelings for having someone who cares. Before I knew it, I felt his lips on mine, my heart stop. I felt nothing at the moment I was happy to know my feelings were not real but what was happening next I was not happy for,
“Frank…”
Like I said I'll be doing a lot of updating this week. I don't know if I will update again tonight though..so you may just have to wait :). Thanks for the reviews.
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