FicWad

“I can’t find the lights!” Lincoln called.
Ingrid flipped the lights on.
“It was right next to the window, smartie” she said, smirking.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious” Lincoln muttered.
“You’re welcome, Lieutenant Sarcasm” Ingrid shot back.

The hotel room, 1983, was Huge. Four sets of bunk beds had been bolted to the wall. A crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, and all the chairs in the room were red velvet movie chairs. A wooden table sat in the middle of the room like an obese toad. Piled on the table was a wire, three economy size packs of Redvines, four packs of Pockys, and a rock of uncut chocolate.
“That is not a bar of chocolate. That is a small, sugary, chocolatey boulder. I have never seen so much chocolate in one form in my entire existence” Cadel said, flipping up his goggles.
“Cadel, you are on probation because you all shoved us off the train and could have gotten us all killed” Holly murmured, sinking into a red chair.
“I’m so tired....I miss my rainbow monkeys...” Numbuh three whined.
“I to-to-totally heart rainbow monkeys too. They’re ad-or-able” Ingrid yawned at the start of her sentence.
Numbuh four fell asleep on the carpet.
“Ingrid? Since when are you into rainbow monkeys?” Lincoln asked, rubbing his eyes.
“Since always. You’re just not into girls or girl stuff” Ingrid called.

“That’s totally lie. Lincoln likes girls, especially if their name’s-” Cadel started to say, but then Lincoln cut him off.
“SHUT UP!” Lincoln roared, flinging his boot at Cadel.
Cadel snickered and promptly fell asleep.

Poke.
Poke.
Poke.
“Can we at least draw on his face?”
“Uh, no. He’d kill us. Wake up, you!”
POKE.
POKE.
POKE.
JAB.

Lincoln reluctantly opened his working eye. Numbuh four happily munched on a Pocky stick. “What’s going on?” Lincoln asked, surveying everyone.
“You fell asleep, Link” is all Numbuh five had to say, before Holly grabbed his shirt.
“WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! DON’T YOU EVER PULL A STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN OR I’LL KICK YOU OUT OF HAVOC KND! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?”

“Well now, Mardy Bum, I see your frown and it’s like looking down a barrel of a gun. Bang, and it goes off” Lincoln sang.
Holly looked confused.
Cadel joined in.
“And out come all these words, but there’s another side to you, a side I much prefer!” Lincoln spun Holly around, trying to get her to dance.
Holly just giggled.
“You’re insane! But I like you anyway” Holly said, rolling her eyes.
“Amazing. Pass the Pockys, Wally” Lincoln fell back into a chair.
Numbuh four threw the Pockys at Lincoln, who caught them.
“Mmm?” Ingrid raised her head from the floor. Her hair was a mess and she looked like she’d been fighting for her life recently, which she had.

“Sugar....” Ingrid moaned, getting off the floor and wandering over to the table and snacking down on Redvines.
“Do we have a plan?” Numbuh one asked nobody in particular.
“Uh no. This is not good. Holly!” Numbuh five called. She was looking out the window at the busy street below.
“Whot happened?” Holly flew to the window.
Everybody crowded around the window. In the street below, there was a bulletin board. In big, black, accusing letters, it said:
THESE ARE PUBLIC ENEMIES NUMBER ONE. IF YOU SPOT THEM, PLEASE CONTACT FATHER, SHOCK GENERAL HOSPITAL, OR THE PROPER AUTHORITIES.
On the billboard, there were pictures of them all.

“That’s really inconvenient” Numbuh two commented.
“That’s it!” Numbuh three screamed.
Everybody stared at her.
“First kidnapping, then that poor Malcolm kid, now this? What did we ever do? We’re the good guys! We have to stop this! This isn’t fair!” Numbuh three ranted, kicking over a chair.
“Hey...Kuki? I had my doubts about you, but guess what? It’s not fair. God will punish the wicked, and before he does....” Holly trailed off and Numbuh three turned around.
Cadel grinned.
Lincoln sat down in a chair.
“What’s the plan, O fearless cousin?” Numbuh four asked, grinning. His cousin was the coolest girl on the planet.
Holly made sure that everyone was paying attention.
“Roight then. Here’s what we’re going to do.....”