FicWad

Mikey’s POV

When she turned on Frankie I knew it wasn’t going to be good for him at least and I was right but then she, I don’t know, let too much slip, I wasn’t sure if I was the only one that heard it but when she ran I was right behind her. I called out but she just kept running till she was inside, I didn’t dare knock not knowing whether that would get her in trouble, so I turned and headed back to my house. I didn’t rush it gave me time to think, I knew something was going on with Jen that was obvious but what was it. I racked my brain till I got back to the house. “What the hell was that, where’d she go” Bob asks as I enter, “home she just went home” I sit on the couch next to Gee. “Why’d she book it out of here so fast” Ray asks from beside Bob, I shrug not wanting to point out what she said if they hadn’t heard it. “what did she mean by all the shit in her life” Frank ask sitting beside me, I don’t know the real answer but I decide to cover for her, if she wanted to tell the truth that was up to her “I think she and her step-mom are fighting, Jen hates that her step-mom made her move here, not that she hates it here, she just hates she didn’t have a choice.”

They all ponder that for a minute while I pray they believe me “that makes sense I would hate it if someone just came in and uprooted me from my life” Bob says turning to the TV challenging Ray to some game. I grab my comic and pretend to read thinking about what could really have Jen so down, “Hey Mikey man I’m sorry, she’s right I can’t control her and if you like her go for it” Frank says. I look up wondering why he brought up if I liked her then looked around for Gee, “Gee’s outside cooling off he’s not really pleased with me right now” Frankie says “yeah I bet he’s not” I say getting up to calm him down.

“Sup bro” I say leaning against the patio door Gee pacing the lawn smoking a cig “little twerp thinks he can hit my little brother he’s got another thing coming” Gee says between his teeth. “Hey don’t worry about it no blood not foul” I say Gee continues to grumble under his breath, “you know I can take care of myself if I really wanted to take Frankie I could.” Gee stops pacing “I know it’s just you’re my little brother I’m suppose to protect you” “yeah well this one time you can let it slide as a personal favour to me for telling Frank I like Jen.” Gee grimaces “I didn’t mean to it just slipped out, but for you I will let Frankie off this once” “Thank you” we hug and head back inside.

I feel fine until I get to my room that night then my brain shifts into overdrive and every negative thought I fight during the day pool up and crash down on me. “She doesn’t care about you she only hangs out with you cause of the guys” I try and fight back throw up her running to me not Frankie. My brain counters with her running from me, “she doesn’t care about you how could she, your pathetic, spineless, worthless, nothing.” I shake my head trying to ignore, trying not to give in, not this time, “she’ll never love you no one else does why should she, your alone a freak.” The tears start before I can stop them because I can’t fight it the voice because its right “I’ll never be good enough for her” I whisper to my self pulling the razor from its hiding place. I stare at my wrist trying to fight the urge but it takes over and I drag it across my arm “what are you doing” i snap my head up to see my brother’s horrified look “I don’t know.”