Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You're The Only Place That Feels Like Home

Some Secrets Were Meant To Be Told

by HeartbreakhOtel 2 reviews

Billie has less than a good day.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Drama - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2010-12-30 - Updated: 2010-12-30 - 2241 words

So that's how it started over the next couple of days. Me and Frank would `practice', when really it just ended up with us goofing around. I still tried to convince Frank to talk to Jamia, but he refused. It sort of annoyed me that he wouldn't quit pussyfooting around, but that's Frank for you.

“Are you sure it's working?” I asked him curiously as he chewed on his straw.

“I think so.” he nodded while I played with the rubber band on my arm as we walked down the streets of NY, going nowhere in particular.

“Well that's good?” I replied blankly while he shrugged and nodded.

“Yeah. I hope so.” he said softly as I patted him on the shoulder while he smiled.

“So you getting pretty comfy with Bob?” he asked curiously as I looked at him.

“Excuse me?” I asked confused as he giggled.

“I just meant are you settling in well?” he replied.

“Oh yeah definitely.” I smiled as he eyed me.

“What?” I asked him as he smirked.

“You like him don't you?” he asked me as I scoffed.

“That's stupid.” I retorted.

“Is it?” he teased.

“Yeah it is.” I clarified. “Why would you ask such a stupid thing anyways?” I asked as he laughed once more.

“I don't know. You seem to smile every time I mention him.” he shrugged.

“I do not.” I replied.

“Do too.” he retorted as I gawked at him.

“I do not, do you hear me or is there built up ear wax preventing you from hearing me? I don't like him.” I responded.

“Defensive?” he asked me with a raised eyebrow as I glared at him.

“I'm this close to assaulting you in front of all these innocent people. Bob is just a dude who gave me a place to stay, and happens to be your friend. That's all.” I replied while he smiled.

“Sure Billie. Whatever you say.” he mocked me as I rolled my eyes. Besides, Bob would probably never go for someone like me. I was too much too handle, it was obvious. I didn't want put the poor man into that sort of nonsense that no one deserved. I was complicated, there was no denying that.

We kept walking with Frank doing most of the talking. I just sort of nodded every now and then even though I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't feel like carrying on a conversation, my mind was going blank and I think I just needed a nice long nap, if it ever existed. We passed by a clothes shop as I felt myself freeze when I noticed the guy in front of me. I gasped as I couldn't look away from him. He looked just like…it couldn't be.

“Bill, you all right?” Frank asked me carefully as I didn't answer him but kept looking at the guy going through vintage shirts while I found my breath shortening. It was impossible.

“Bill, what's going on, are you okay?” he asked me once more as the guy looked up before turning around and disappearing from my sight. His brown hair and brown eyes was burned into my brain as I looked back at Frank.

“I'm f-fine.” I replied.

“Are you sure?” he asked softly. His green eyes boring into me with worry as I nodded and forced myself to compose.

“Yeah I'm good. I just thought I saw someone that's all.” I replied evenly while he looked at me once more before shrugging.

“Okay.” was all he said. I chewed on my lip as I tried not think about the guy standing there. He just like him. He looked like…

Henny my mind said as I felt my heart get heavier. I didn't like where this was going, I had a bad feeling about it. He was popping into my life again and I didn't want him to.

“You want to come back to my place? We could watch some movies?” Frank asked me as I stiffened but shook my head.

“Nah, I think I'm going to call it a night. My head's starting to hurt.” I replied with a half smile.

“Oh okay. Are you sure you're all right?” he pressed once more as I nodded.

“Yes Frankie I'm fine. I think I've just had a lot on my mind.” I reasoned.

“Okay Bills, if you need anything you know to call me right?” he asked like a concerned parents as I couldn't help but smile. He was sweet when he wanted to be.

“Yes Franklin, I have you on speed dial.” I replied holding my phone. “See? Number 2.” I added.

“Why aren't I number one?” he teased as I laughed.

“Cause I love Chinese food more than I love you.” I replied as he faked tears.

“I knew it.” he said holding hand out to me.

“I see how you are Billie Beatrix. I want no more of your friendship.” he replied looking away as I smiled.

“Relief!” I cried into the air as he slapped my shoulder.

“Bitch.” he smiled as I giggled.

“I'll see you later Frankie. Wake me up when September ends.” I teased as he laughed and waved before we parted ways. He kept going straight while I made a right turn. I wrapped my coat around myself tighter as I suddenly wished Frank was at my side as I walked deeper into the darkness. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and let myself know it was just a phase. Maybe I'm sick or something. It'll pass. Yeah that's it.

I made my way back to the apartment where I noticed Bob's car was in the parking space so he was home. I felt slightly better as I walked up the stairs and unlocked the door before closing it and re locking it behind me.

With Bob, I started to feel more comfortable around him. We talked more when we were in the kitchen or living room, but I mostly kept to myself. I had a weird feeling lingering around me most of the time that I couldn't shake. It made me feel uneasy and it almost got me in trouble at work. I kept busy to distract to myself, but times like now when I had nothing else to do, the feeling brewed inside me. Just like now, especially seeing that guy in the store. I trailed back to my room where I sighed as I twiddled my thumbs before looking at the wall. I hated when you were forced to sit in the silence that seemed strange and unusual. I hated it when I would remember things I didn't want to. It was just a reminder of what you messed up. A tally of all the mistakes you made, and the ones you're probably going to make in the future.

I laid my head back against the pillow and stared up at the blank ceiling. I was alone in the apartment, I was sure of it. Unless Bob came home from his job, I didn't hear a thing. I closed my eyes in attempt to distract myself from the silence. It worked for a moment as I felt my eyes get heavy and everything had turned black.

There was a loud noise, followed by a scream. Billie snapped her head up as her crayons dropped on the floor and her brother had shared the same scared expression.

“You can't do anything right! I don't even know why I bother with you! You're fucking worthless!” she heard an angry voice scream. The sound of glass shattering made her shiver as she wondered why she had to hear mommy and daddy fight almost every day. Why daddy was so angry all the time.

“Stop it!” she heard her mom shriek before a sound a slap echoed as Billie hugged her teddy bear tighter. She heard a yell then footsteps stomp up the stairs as Hendrix popped off the bed.

“Hide Billie!” he told her as she shook her head.

“I'm scared!” she replied.

“It's okay, just hide. Now. Please Billie.” he begged her as she nodded before slipping under her bed with a teddy bear tucked into her arms as she shivered with every step making it's way up the stairs. The door slammed open, further creating a hole in the wall from the many times the knob was jammed into the dry wall.

“Where are ya?!” her father hissed as he looked around. From her view, she could see Hendrix was hiding in the closet. She closed her eyes and held her breath as he searched through the room.

“Ungrateful brats, I know you're hiding in here. Get out now!” he roared as Billie began to cry and whimper as she clutched her teddy bear tighter.

“Come on, don't make daddy mad.” he taunted as she watched his footsteps get closer to the bed as she shut her eyes tighter.

“Gotcha!” he hissed with an evil smile as he propped down on the floor where Billie screamed as he tried to drag her out from under the bed.

“Daddy!” she begged him.

“Stop your whining!” he replied as he grabbed her arms roughly as she whimpered from the pressure. She heard the closet open and a smacking sound as her father groaned, but dropped her arms as she watched her father turn around. Hendrix looked terrified at he what he did, and their father glared at him which scared Billie to the core.

“You little slug. You're going to pay for that.” he hissed slowly as he stalked toward the boy who tried to run, but was quickly yanked back by the shirt.

“Henny!” she shouted.

“Billie!” he replied equally as she tried to fight her dad off of him as he turned around to smack her on her cheek, sending her to the floor as she cried.

“You're next little girl.” was all he said before he dragged the boy out of the room as he screamed.

“Henny!” she screamed as she tried to run after him, but couldn't as she was too afraid to move. She heard screams before the sound of a belt buckle dangling, and the unmistakable snaps of leather cracking in the air as Billie cried to herself. Forced to hear the painful cries of her brother, she clutched her only friend. A tattered teddy bear that witnessed the pain and held the deep secrets she knew she could never tell…

My eyes snapped open as I gasped for air and clutched my heart as I was sure I was having a heart attack. The rooms seemed to close in on me as I tried to regain focus. I kept breathing heavily until my heart calmed down and without a moment later, I felt tears fall down my face.

I put my head in my hands. This wasn't a coincidence. I was being reminded of everything I tried so hard to forget.

I slipped off the bed with shaky feet and kept my eyes on the carpet while I decided to walk to the kitchen and get some water. My throat felt raspy and I wondered what else could go wrong.

I made it to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, not realizing Bob was watching TV until he walked passed me with a bag of chips in his hand.

“Oh hey Billie.” he smiled at me. I wiped my eyes incase of any trace of smeared eyeliner as I half smiled.

“Hey.” I replied softly while taking a sip of my water.

“You all right? You look a little pale.” he told me as I felt myself flush from embarrassment.

“I'm good. Just had a long day.” I replied softly.

“Oh. Sorry to hear.” he said patting my shoulder as I blushed some more while he walked away. I drank most of my water in one breath as I tried to collect myself. I was becoming a hot mess. I thought I heard a small hiss noise but I ignored until it happened again. I turned around and jumped as Bob held a small snake in his hands as I felt myself start to shake involuntarily as his tongue slipped out and his small eyes looked at me.

“What are you doing with that?!” I asked nervously.

“Oh this Chester…my snake, well it is now. I just brought him out for some air. He won't bite I promise.” he smiled bringing the snake to me as I jumped back and winced.

“Please keep him away.” I panicked as Bob retracted the snake back.

“Hey I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” he apologized worriedly as I shook my head.

“No I'm sorry. I just-” I trailed off as it happened again. The remembering. The laughter of my father, the cage, the snake, the hisses and the feel of slimy scales, the bites. I felt my heart race as I looked at him before dashing into my room and shutting the door as I leaned against and slid down to the floor. I couldn't handle it.

“It's over.” I whispered as I bit my lip to rid the thoughts that would not disappear as I thought of the man from the store, and the snake. I rocked myself quietly as I feared for the worst.

And just like that, everything had come back to me.
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