FicWad

Mikey's pov

I could feel my big brother's eyes remaining on me, not quite staring, but not quite being subtle. It was plain to see he was still worried about me, but he was obviously much happier than he had been when he first woken up.

The fear and pain that had been etched all over his face had terrified me. I'd thought, for a moment, that maybe my nightmare had come true. It hurt to know that I was the base of what had scared him so much. But I guess that's what we're all about. We're never okay if we don't know for sure that the other one isn't.

I took my brother's hand and squeezed it tight, causing him to smile down at me again.

Every time his lips curled up at the corner in that half-smirk he did, I'd feel a little better. Piece by piece, our lives were coming back together, and you couldn't even tell that they'd been falling apart just a little while ago.

My brother never ran out of ways to surprise me. The last thing I would have thought about him was that he was always in the way. I was only who I am today because he'd always been there for me, and taught me the difference between right and wrong.

Truth is, I needed him more than he knew, and I could never express to him how much. And apparently, I didn't show it to him very well if he thought I wanted him out.

I looked up at my brother with that thought in horror. Would he want to leave me? I bit down hard on my lip to keep me from asking the question, and squeezed his hand a little tighter, in case he decided to pull away. I didn't want to bring the idea to his mind if it wasn't there already, because I knew that when Gerard got something his head he wasn't going to let it go. That isn't who he is.

I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, stinging as I tried to fight them back and make them go away without moving a muscle. I kept everything on the inside and let panic control me. I let it soak me to the core and didn't show a sign of anything on the outside.

"Mikey, what are you thinking?" my brother murmured, shaking our clasped hands a little bit to draw me out of myself.

Shit.

I shook my head and smiled up at him, signalling I didn't want to talk about it. I could see something flicker behind his eyes, but didn't say a word. Instead, I shifted over in my bed and took my hand back so I could pat the now open space. He didn't hesitate is getting up into the space and pressing his shoulder to mine in a warm equivalent of a hug.

Moments like this were what I lived for.

We stayed like this for a long time, looking out at the doctors who were walking back and forth outside my room, wondering if one of them was actually going to come in and tell me I could go home.

My muscles were clenched tight, but I could feel myself relax bit by bit the longer my brother sat beside me. His own warmth soaked into my skin, and made me feel safe. Soon I was relaxed enough to drift into a semi-concious state, lulled into an almost-sleep.
I took his hand again, lacing my fingers between his and sighing, trying to keep myself awake. trying to stay in this moment for as long as I could.

Unfortunately, my nightmare from before had taken a lot out of me, and I slowly fell into a dreamless sleep, where everything was perfect, and the current perfection of my reality had a lasting effect on my state of mind.

All my fears slipped away, at least for a little while, while I lay there with Gerard. I knew they'd be back. I knew that the storm wasn't over, and all my problems would come with at least twice the force as before, but at that moment I didn't care. I loved Gerard more than anything, and I was afraid I was losing him, but it didn't seem real with him right there. I couldn't see the man who was laying next to me, keeping me safe in his embrace, ever walking away.

What we had meant too much to both of us. There was no changing that.

So I no longer cared about the things that could tear us apart. Because we're stronger together than we are apart.

Gerard's pov

I could feel Mikey's body slowly get looser against my shoulderas we sat there, perfectly still. I felt like I was in the middle of a dream, a good dream, and all was right with the world again. Nothing scared me more than the thought of losing my baby brother. I wanted to be there for him whenever he needed me, but I was still afraid he thought I didn't think he could make it.

I knew my brother was strong; I knew my brother could make it in anything he wanted to do.
But it was hard to be the big brother and just stand back and watch as he got hurt and experienced the tragedy we call life.

I wanted to be a part of it.

It was hard to not see him as the little boy he used to be, begging me to come play games with him, or crying when he fell and hurt himself. I'd always been the one to take care of him. He'd always been my responsibility, and the two of us had never really grown out of that.

We protected each other, because that's what best friends do. that's what brothers do.
I couldn't tell if Mikey had fallen asleep beside me, and I didn't want to move in case he had, but I could see a doctor striding straight for our room. He walked with purpose, and his mouth was set in a tight grim line.

I hoped he wasn't coming to us, hoping he'd take a sharp run left suddenly and go into the room next to us, or just switch hallways completely, but he showed no sign of doing either.

"Mr. Way-" he began, walking through the doorway and pausing as he saw our position. I glared up at him and made a small shush sound through my teeth. Mikey didn't stir, so I assumed he'd drifted away.

The man pursed his lips and opened his clipboard, scrawling something on it quickly, and then held it out to me.

Mr. Way, we need to talk.