FicWad

I'm gonna be updating like crazy before school starts. I wanna get as far as I can with this before my time is more limited.


Within the next two hours, we'd been in almost every store on the first and second floor. Frank begged me to go to the third floor, but I was way too tired and my feet were doing more protesting than me. So when we started walking back to the exit, I insisted we take a cab back to First Avenue. He definitely didn't object to that. Besides, it only took us fifteen minutes anyway.

We ended up stopping a block away when I spotted Kyrsten walking on the sidewalk with someone very familiar. I practically fell out of the cab from my excitement. Frank was still following close behind me as I jogged up to them.

Jay's smile widened as he engulfed me in his warm embrace. As I pulled away from him I couldn't help but giggle. "You cut your hair", I said, gingerly touching the golden waves that barely came down to his chin. He nodded. "It was starting to get on my nerves. Do you like it, cara mia?"

I smiled. "I love it. It looks a lot better on you", I said hugging him again. I missed
hearing him say things like that. Even his little Italian words that he would always use. It's just so different to talk to someone in person and be able to see their face. Our occasional chats on the Skype didn't even do this justice. I couldn't even describe how much missed him.

"Don't you want to know what the surprise is?" he asked, chuckling quietly.

I shrugged and pulled out of my second 'Jayby hug' of the night. "I'm a little afraid when you have a surprise for me, Jay."

Jay smiled. "I think you'll enjoy this one. Venuto", he said, offering me his arm. I giggled and took it, snuggling into his shoulder. We continued in the direction he and Kyrsten had been heading.

God, I don't think I'd ever been so excited to see him. I didn't even question where we were walking to. I wasn't even sure that I cared. He was one of my best friends, and that wasn't going to change over time. We were always together growing up, so when Jay's family moved to Minneapolis when he was sixteen, I was practically devastated. We'd been through everything together. He was there when my mom died, and I was there when his little sister Lily had a psychological breakdown. We still talked constantly, and never lost touch. And that's why we're still so close to each other.

I met him when I was seven years old. I had become friends with a girl named Marlee, who lived next door to my cousin. After I'd known her for a while, she introduced me to some of her friends from school. That's when I met Jay and his boyfriend Adam. I personally thought they were amazing, and fell in love with them immediately. We were all really close friends, even after Marlee's parents divorced and she moved in with her mom. We always made sure to see each other at least every two weeks. But even though Adam and Marlee were my friends, Jay and I bonded a lot quicker. We were never apart. Some nights, he would come to my house in the middle of the night and knock on my window. We'd stay up and talk, and he'd sleep on the floor and we'd get up and go to school together the next morning. My dad was always at work when I left, so he never noticed. And my mom didn't really mind. Jay did that so much that I started keeping my window unlocked at night just in case I didn't wake up when he knocked. He'd still come in and fall asleep, just happy to have the company.

When my mom died, Jay came home with me after the funeral. We didn't talk like usual. I immediately ran to my room. I collapsed on my bed and held my pillow close, just staring off into space and sobbing quietly. Jay came in and lay on my bed next to me. He held me until I fell asleep from exhaustion. And even when I woke up the next afternoon, he was still next to me. He never left my side. And that's why I love him.

We walked to a Starbucks a few blocks away. I looked up at Jay, who was still smiling. "Why are we here?" I asked curiously. His smile widened. "You'll see in a minute, bella. Just be patient."

I sighed quietly as he opened the door. He led me inside with Kyrsten and Frank behind us. It was kind of funny to look at just the two of them together. Kyrsten was more excited than I had ever seen her and Frank looked completely worn out from all of the walking. He was slumped over and was constantly dragging his feet. I felt a slight twinge of sympathy towards him as he shuffled inside tiredly.

Jay turned me around to where I was facing the doors before I even got to glance at the shop. He smiled down at me. "Alright, cara mia. There's more than one part to this surprise. Are you ready for the first part?" he asked, glancing behind me. I nodded quietly, starting to get very excited. He spun me around by my shoulders. I didn't see anything. I looked around, completely clueless. My eyes landed on someone sitting at a table with their back to me drinking a latte. Why did I even stop to pay attention to them if I couldn't see them? I knew those hands... the most perfectly manicured hands I'd ever seen.

Jay leaned in close to me. "Are you going to say hello? Or are you just going to stand there and stare?" he chuckled. He took my hand and led me to the table where I was greeted with Adam's warm smile.

"Hey Beck... you ready to have some fun tonight?" he asked, his big green eyes sparkling. I grinned and hugged him. "Oh god... A, I haven't seen you in forever! Why the hell did he drag you here?" I asked, laughing.

"If I'm correct", he said, glancing up at Jay. "Your question pertains to mine. But I can't tell you why, so you're just going to have to wait."

Jay laughed. "Come on, Adam. Don't make her wait any longer."

The older man sighed in mock disappointment. "Fine... what time do you want her back by?” he asked, taking a sip of his latte.

Jay glanced at his watch. "Seven would be perfect. But if you can have her back a bit earlier, that'd be even better." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. He pulled a specific one off of the ring and put the rest back. He handed the key to A, shaking his head and chuckling quietly. "Don't make me regret letting you use my apartment for this", he warned.

Adam smirked and took the key. "It was your idea. You pay the consequences if the ceiling caves."

I looked between the two of them, puzzled. I had no clue what they were talking about, though I was sure I was going to find out very soon. I glanced at Kyrsten, who was still grinning like an idiot. My gaze drifted to Frank, who was leaning against the wall. At closer examination, he was almost asleep. You could tell by his eyes. As I watched him for a moment, he finally drifted off. He actually looked kind of cute. Not that I would mean it affectionately, but more like a puppy. It felt so contradicting in my mind that he of all people could look cute whilst propped up against a wall sleeping.

Adam nudged me. "You ready to get out of here?" he smiled. I shrugged, laughing quietly. "Do I have a choice?"

He rolled his eyes. "You'll enjoy this. Plus, you'll get to have an intelligent conversation with someone for the first time in god knows how long."

I smiled. "Maybe not exactly intelligent conversation, but at least I'll get to hang out with you for a while. We haven't talked in so long."

A nodded. "We'll have plenty of time to do that." He took my hands and started pulling me out of the coffee shop. I giggled. "At least let me say goodbye!" I cried, still grinning.

Adam shook his head pulling me with more force as I dug my heels into the floor. "No! You'll thank me for my impatient disposition later!" he laughed as he opened the door. I turned my head and looked back at the three of them. "Bye guys!" I called just as Adam pulled me outside. Jay and Kyrsten waved back at me. He let go of my hands and put an arm around me, walking me across the street.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we stepped onto the sidewalk. He pulled looked down at me and smiled. "Just relax. Enjoy yourself and stop worrying about our destination."

Our eyes met and I smiled back at him. He really looked just like the Adam I remembered. Wavy brown curls that framed his alabaster tone face, and impossible green eyes that could make any girl go crazy. He was a bit taller, of course, but I figured he would be. I felt so short standing next to him, yet so safe. He protects me like I'm his helpless little sister.

"It's not that I'm preoccupied with where we're going, I'm just curious. I mean, why did Jay drag you into this?" I asked, looking back down at the sidewalk.

He chuckled. "Like why am I taking you? Is that what you're asking?"

I nodded. "You don't even live here, A."

Adam smiled. "You'll see why I'm here soon. I can't really explain it, but you'll understand." I sighed quietly and laid my head on his shoulder. I didn't know what was going on. Jay was excited, Kyrsten was excited, and I don't even know about A. He just kind of seemed neutral. I couldn't understand why. But I never understood him.

Adam was quiet and kept to himself. I know things were never easy. People always judged him because of his sexuality. In high school, he never talked to anyone until he got to know them. It took him two months to even have a conversation with me. He was afraid. But you'd never know it now unless you'd seen him like that. My beloved Adam was in pain. And I would never be able to ease it.

Our walk continued, though it was silent. There was something wrong with him, even now. I wanted to ask, but I knew he'd never answer without being trivial about it. All of his eagerness in Starbucks was just an act he put on in front of Jay. And he only seemed more spaced out when we reached Jay's apartment.

We climbed the few flights of stairs up to the top floor. Adam walked to the end of the hallway and pulled out the key Jay had given him and inserted into the lock. I was staring out the window at the parking lot and the seemingly endless city. It was kind of nice to feel a bit safer and just look out on it from a distance.

"Beck... you comin'?" A asked. I turned around and saw him staring at me with a puzzled look. I smiled lightly and nodded. I quickly followed him inside. I shut the door behind me and turned to face Jay's apartment. There were racks of women's clothing lined up as well as boxes with unidentifiable contents.

Oddly enough, my mind was screaming: Transvestite! I looked to Adam, who was leaned against one of the empty walls looking at me, attempting to smile. "Surprise, Beck. Jay told me about how much you hate your appearance, so he asked me to give you a makeover."

That was it. I stepped forward, studying his expression. "Adam, I understand a little. But what's wrong with this?"

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I think you're perfect the way you are. I don't want you to change. But I promised Jay, and he really wants this for you."

I shook my head. "I'm not going to protest. I hate the way that people see me. I'm sorry that you don't want me to change, but I'll never get an opportunity like this again."

Adam lowered his head. "I'm not going to change you too much. You're not as weird as you think."

I took another step forward. "A, you have to understand--"

He looked up at me abruptly. "I don't want you to regret this!" he cried. "You will, and I know it. I'm not just saying all of this. Someday you'll thank me."

I was taken aback slightly. Maybe I didn't really understand at all. Maybe he knew what he was talking about. Adam always loved doing this kind of thing. He had a gift for making people look perfect. So why was I arguing with him?

"Adam, I'm a misfit. Can't you see that?" I asked, raising my voice slightly. He glared. "Don't talk about yourself that way. Being special doesn't make you a misfit!" he countered.

I shook my head. "We're different. We have different problems. I've never tried to discuss who you sleep with, so don't try to--"

"Why did you even bring that up? It's nothing like this. Why can't you just listen to me for once?" he practically yelled. That was it. I was not going to fight him. It was useless.

I closed my eyes. "Fine. Do whatever you see fit."

"You'll like it, I promise", he said quietly. I felt like I had defeated him in some way. But it didn't feel like a victory at all. He seemed withdrawn from life as he started going through the boxes and selecting certain items. As I watched him, I got a glimpse of his face.

In that moment, I felt crushed. I broke him.