Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Life's a Bitch....So Are You
After everything was said and done on Christmas Mandy’s parents finally accepted Patrick. Now everything in Mandy’s life was perfect. Everything was going smoothly and nothing could really bring her down.
‘This is how life should be lived.’ Mandy thought as she smiled and cuddled closer next to her more than perfect boyfriend. She examined him as he slept. ‘He’s beautiful inside and out. Every inch of him is pure perfection.’ She thought as she traced circles on his bare stomach.
Mandy was up for only a few minutes but she had gotten bored. She wanted to do something daring something she’s never done before so she slid the covers off of Patrick’s naked body and went for it.
‘God I hope I do this right.’ She thought as she placed her hand on his shaft and slowly went up and down.
Patrick smiled in his sleep giving Mandy some satisfaction encouraging her to go faster and dipping her head down and kissed his tip. Patrick slowly opened his eyes smiled again and sighed. “Fuck Amber that feels good.”
‘
Amber? Amber?!?! AMBER?!?!?!?!!’ Mandy thought as her eyes widened and held back a scream instead she stopped and pushed him off of the bed.
“What the fuck?!” He yelled as he pulled up his boxers.
“Amber?!!?” She screamed her face red as a cherry from anger.
Patrick thought about what she said and then realized what he said. “Oh my shit Mandy I’m so sorry I was sleeping I-I-I-“ Patrick’s stuttering was cut off by Mandy who slapped him in the face.
“I deserved that!” He said as he rubbed his cheek.
Mandy shoved him into the wall and hit him in the chest. “Patrick Stump if you’re cheating on me with that piece of shit I swear to god I’ll chop off your balls and shove them down your throat!!” She screamed as she huffed causing her chest to go up and down.
“I’m not! Mandy I was half asleep I had no idea what was going on! I thought it was a dream!”
“OH SO NOW YOU’RE HAVING DREAMS ABOUT HER?!” She yelled at the top of her lungs.
“No! No! I didn’t mean it like that! I wasn’t thinking Mandy you gotta forgive me baby I’m so sorry.” He said as he got on his knees.
Mandy looked down and shook her head at him. “I’m going in the shower.”
“Fuck I fucked up.” Patrick said as he banged his head against the wall. ‘What do I do? What do I do? What the fuck do I do?!’ Patrick thought as he flopped down on the bed. “I’ll buy her something!” He said in the pillow.
Mandy went on with her day still mad as hell though. She didn’t do Patrick’s laundry or fix him breakfast or coffee. She didn’t clean his house. She just did things that she doesn’t normally do like shop online…with Patrick’s credit card.
“Honey I’m home!” Patrick sang as he walked in.
“Eat shit.” She said from the couch.
“Not today. I don’t feel like it.”
“I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to look at you. Go. Away.”
Patrick felt anger rise up in his stomach but the feeling he got when she gave him hand-job pushed it back down. “I got you a pwesent.” He said in a baby voice and sat next to her.
“I just bought myself a present online from you.”
“What?”
“I used your credit card and bought a bracelet for two hundred dollars.” She said as she unwrapped a granola bar and bit into it.
Patrick grinded his teeth and tried not to yell or sound angry. “That’s okay sweetheart. Here open your present before I change my mind.”
“I. Don’t. Want. It.”
“Mandy open the damn present!” He yelled.
“Is that anger I detect? Are you using such tones on me? The person who gave you a blow-job but then you called out another girl’s name.” She said with a sarcastic tone.
“Mandy I’m sorry!”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it! How would you fucking feel if I called out Gabe’s name during sex?!”
Patrick sighed. “I would feel like shit and I’d be pretty mad too. I really am sorry. That was horrible of me but you have to believe me when I say it didn’t mean anything.”
Mandy stared at him. ‘I’m around this bastard all times of the day. If he had a chick on the side he would be horrible at hiding it but still how could he do that?! It was by accident though and look at that face. It’s so hard to be mad at that adorable face.’
“Mandy?” He said as he waved his hand in her face.
“Huh? Oh right you’re forgiven. You’re lucky you have an adorable face.” She said as she stood up took off his hat and kissed his head.
Patrick laughed and put his arms behind his head.
“Oh and Patrick?”
“Yes honey?”
“If this ever happens again I’ll chop your dick off.” She said as she winked at him.
Not much longer New Year’s Eve was coming up and Mandy was excited. She’s never seen the ball drop and Fall Out Boy was going to perform at Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve bash.
As Mandy packed her things she noticed Patrick sitting in front of his laptop looking distressed.
“What’s wrong sweet thing?” She said as she rubbed his shoulders.
“There’s so much shit to do before we leave and I don’t know where to fucking start.”
“Have your fancy ass assistant do it.”
“She’s on vacation.” He said as he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
“Okay then I’ll help. What do you need?”
Patrick laughed and looked up at her thinking she was being sarcastic (you could never tell with her). “Oh you’re serious.”
Mandy giggled. “Of course I’m serious! I want to help you, tell me how I can help.”
Patrick bit his lip holding back a smile. “Hmm what can I put you to do for me?” He said as he walked circles around her.
“Nothing sexual!”
“Dammit Mandy! You knocked out pretty much everything then!” He said as he laughed. “Okay then umm can you pick up my dry cleaning?”
“Sure I gotta go to the super market anyway.” She said as she kissed his cheek.
“Did you ever quit your stupid job as a barista or whatever the fuck they’re called?”
Mandy laughed. “No I did not. It gives me something to do.”
“HELLO!” He yelled as he pointed to his crotch.
“Eww not like that!”
Patrick laughed. “Are you going there today?”
“Yes.” she said as she grabbed her things.
“What do I do while you’re gone?? I’ll be bored Mandy! I don’t know why you need a job anyway you have me!”
“Patrick I’m not like that! What do you think I am? A gold digger?” She said with all seriousness.
“No of course not! It’s just not faiirrr!” He whined.
“I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She said as she kissed him and left.
Amber Jameson stood outside of her condo shaking her head and tapping her foot as she stared at the pink paper she held in her hands that was taped to her door. She huffed and threw it in the trash once she went in her apartment. She put away the things she had bought at the mall and entered her kitchen where the pink paper stood there crumbled in the trash. Taunting her.
“I’m not that behind on rent.” She said to the pink eviction notice.
“Well maybe a month or two but there’s no way you’re kicking me out.
The paper of course said nothing. The dark print simply stared back at up at her.
She huffed. “No matter. I won’t need to live in this dump anyway. I’ll be with Patrick again.” She said as she smiled devilishly.
Ohshiiiiit.
‘This is how life should be lived.’ Mandy thought as she smiled and cuddled closer next to her more than perfect boyfriend. She examined him as he slept. ‘He’s beautiful inside and out. Every inch of him is pure perfection.’ She thought as she traced circles on his bare stomach.
Mandy was up for only a few minutes but she had gotten bored. She wanted to do something daring something she’s never done before so she slid the covers off of Patrick’s naked body and went for it.
‘God I hope I do this right.’ She thought as she placed her hand on his shaft and slowly went up and down.
Patrick smiled in his sleep giving Mandy some satisfaction encouraging her to go faster and dipping her head down and kissed his tip. Patrick slowly opened his eyes smiled again and sighed. “Fuck Amber that feels good.”
‘
Amber? Amber?!?! AMBER?!?!?!?!!’ Mandy thought as her eyes widened and held back a scream instead she stopped and pushed him off of the bed.
“What the fuck?!” He yelled as he pulled up his boxers.
“Amber?!!?” She screamed her face red as a cherry from anger.
Patrick thought about what she said and then realized what he said. “Oh my shit Mandy I’m so sorry I was sleeping I-I-I-“ Patrick’s stuttering was cut off by Mandy who slapped him in the face.
“I deserved that!” He said as he rubbed his cheek.
Mandy shoved him into the wall and hit him in the chest. “Patrick Stump if you’re cheating on me with that piece of shit I swear to god I’ll chop off your balls and shove them down your throat!!” She screamed as she huffed causing her chest to go up and down.
“I’m not! Mandy I was half asleep I had no idea what was going on! I thought it was a dream!”
“OH SO NOW YOU’RE HAVING DREAMS ABOUT HER?!” She yelled at the top of her lungs.
“No! No! I didn’t mean it like that! I wasn’t thinking Mandy you gotta forgive me baby I’m so sorry.” He said as he got on his knees.
Mandy looked down and shook her head at him. “I’m going in the shower.”
“Fuck I fucked up.” Patrick said as he banged his head against the wall. ‘What do I do? What do I do? What the fuck do I do?!’ Patrick thought as he flopped down on the bed. “I’ll buy her something!” He said in the pillow.
Mandy went on with her day still mad as hell though. She didn’t do Patrick’s laundry or fix him breakfast or coffee. She didn’t clean his house. She just did things that she doesn’t normally do like shop online…with Patrick’s credit card.
“Honey I’m home!” Patrick sang as he walked in.
“Eat shit.” She said from the couch.
“Not today. I don’t feel like it.”
“I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to look at you. Go. Away.”
Patrick felt anger rise up in his stomach but the feeling he got when she gave him hand-job pushed it back down. “I got you a pwesent.” He said in a baby voice and sat next to her.
“I just bought myself a present online from you.”
“What?”
“I used your credit card and bought a bracelet for two hundred dollars.” She said as she unwrapped a granola bar and bit into it.
Patrick grinded his teeth and tried not to yell or sound angry. “That’s okay sweetheart. Here open your present before I change my mind.”
“I. Don’t. Want. It.”
“Mandy open the damn present!” He yelled.
“Is that anger I detect? Are you using such tones on me? The person who gave you a blow-job but then you called out another girl’s name.” She said with a sarcastic tone.
“Mandy I’m sorry!”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it! How would you fucking feel if I called out Gabe’s name during sex?!”
Patrick sighed. “I would feel like shit and I’d be pretty mad too. I really am sorry. That was horrible of me but you have to believe me when I say it didn’t mean anything.”
Mandy stared at him. ‘I’m around this bastard all times of the day. If he had a chick on the side he would be horrible at hiding it but still how could he do that?! It was by accident though and look at that face. It’s so hard to be mad at that adorable face.’
“Mandy?” He said as he waved his hand in her face.
“Huh? Oh right you’re forgiven. You’re lucky you have an adorable face.” She said as she stood up took off his hat and kissed his head.
Patrick laughed and put his arms behind his head.
“Oh and Patrick?”
“Yes honey?”
“If this ever happens again I’ll chop your dick off.” She said as she winked at him.
Not much longer New Year’s Eve was coming up and Mandy was excited. She’s never seen the ball drop and Fall Out Boy was going to perform at Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve bash.
As Mandy packed her things she noticed Patrick sitting in front of his laptop looking distressed.
“What’s wrong sweet thing?” She said as she rubbed his shoulders.
“There’s so much shit to do before we leave and I don’t know where to fucking start.”
“Have your fancy ass assistant do it.”
“She’s on vacation.” He said as he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
“Okay then I’ll help. What do you need?”
Patrick laughed and looked up at her thinking she was being sarcastic (you could never tell with her). “Oh you’re serious.”
Mandy giggled. “Of course I’m serious! I want to help you, tell me how I can help.”
Patrick bit his lip holding back a smile. “Hmm what can I put you to do for me?” He said as he walked circles around her.
“Nothing sexual!”
“Dammit Mandy! You knocked out pretty much everything then!” He said as he laughed. “Okay then umm can you pick up my dry cleaning?”
“Sure I gotta go to the super market anyway.” She said as she kissed his cheek.
“Did you ever quit your stupid job as a barista or whatever the fuck they’re called?”
Mandy laughed. “No I did not. It gives me something to do.”
“HELLO!” He yelled as he pointed to his crotch.
“Eww not like that!”
Patrick laughed. “Are you going there today?”
“Yes.” she said as she grabbed her things.
“What do I do while you’re gone?? I’ll be bored Mandy! I don’t know why you need a job anyway you have me!”
“Patrick I’m not like that! What do you think I am? A gold digger?” She said with all seriousness.
“No of course not! It’s just not faiirrr!” He whined.
“I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She said as she kissed him and left.
Amber Jameson stood outside of her condo shaking her head and tapping her foot as she stared at the pink paper she held in her hands that was taped to her door. She huffed and threw it in the trash once she went in her apartment. She put away the things she had bought at the mall and entered her kitchen where the pink paper stood there crumbled in the trash. Taunting her.
“I’m not that behind on rent.” She said to the pink eviction notice.
“Well maybe a month or two but there’s no way you’re kicking me out.
The paper of course said nothing. The dark print simply stared back at up at her.
She huffed. “No matter. I won’t need to live in this dump anyway. I’ll be with Patrick again.” She said as she smiled devilishly.
Ohshiiiiit.
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