Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Life's a Bitch....So Are You
“Hi welcome to Starbuck’s.” Mandy greeted a girl with teased black hair and grey eyes.
“I’ll have 3 white chocolate mochas no whip cream.” Her nasal voice sounded like claws on a chalkboard.
“Okay that’ll be 9.26.”
She pulled out her Prada wallet that matched her Prada bag and gave her ten dollars.
“Keep the change. You can put it towards lipo.” She said loudly making two girls behind her sitting at a booth laugh.
‘If I wasn’t so well mannered I’d spit in your coffee.’ Mandy thought as she rolled her eyes.
Mandy watched the 3 girls. One of them looked painfully familiar. Even if it was the person she thought it was she wouldn’t bother.
“Come on let’s get you your man!” A girl with fire engine red hair shouted as the rest of them laughed as they walked out.
“Okay Mandy you can go now.” Her boss said.
“Thank the lawd.” Mandy said as she laughed.
There was a knock at the door.
‘Yay Mandy’s home.’ Patrick thought as he went to the door he opened it to find the exact opposite.
“Hi Patty Cakes.” She said in a deep voice.
Patrick cringed. “And what the fuck do you want?”
“You and nothing else.” She said as she let herself in and sat down on the couch pulling up her knee high Gucci boots.
“Too bad we’re all out you can leave now.” He said quickly.
‘Seducing isn’t working. Let’s try pity.’ She thought as she took off her jacket and sighed. “Patrick I actually came here to talk to you. I have no one else.” She said softly as her eyes watered. ‘I’d like to thank the academy.’ She thought as she held back a smile.
Patrick rolled his eyes. “What is it?”
“Don broke up with me. He cheated on me Patrick can you believe that?!”
“Smart guy. I under estimated him.” Patrick said to himself and sighed. “I’m sorry to hear that now go.” He said as he pointed to the door.
Amber began to make herself cry harder. “Nobody loves me. Hell nobody likes me! I had to get rid of my dog because it liked the maid more!”
Patrick held back a laugh. “That’s horrible.” He said as he bit his lip.
“Patrick do you still like me?” She said as she batted her eyelashes at him.
‘Fuck. No.’ “Umm…yes?”
“Oh good. It’s good to know at least one person in this world likes me.” She said as she hugged him and fake cried on his shoulder.
“There, there.” Patrick said uncomfortably.
“I missed you.” She whispered as she fumbled with his belt buckle.
“Amber I think you should leave now.” Patrick said as he pushed her away and got off of the couch.
“I don’t want to. I wanna stay with you.” She said as she pushed him back down on the couch and sat on his lap holding his wrists digging her nails in.
“Get. Off.” He said as he grinded his teeth.
“I’ll get you off.” She said as she laughed.
One kiss. One kiss was all it took and Patrick melted. His body relaxed but his stomach turned.
She reeked of cheap perfume and hair spray unlike his girlfriend who always smelt like strawberries. Patrick kicked his legs up and down and turned his head away from her.
“If my girlfriend comes home and sees this she’ll leave me! GET OFF!” He roared.
“Are you mad?” She asked as she smiled. “I love it when you’re mad.” She whispered as she licked his ear. “Who’s your girlfriend?” She asked as she quickly ripped his shirt off and shoved his jeans down to his ankles and returned her hands to Patrick’s wrists so he didn’t do anything he’ll regret.
“Mandy.” He huffed underneath his breath as he felt her becoming wet on his bare thigh.
“Ugh. That fat girl? She’s grotesque for god’s sake.”
“She’s gorgeous and I’m going to marry her!!” Patrick barked.
“Over. My. Dead. Body.” She said as she threw off her shirt and hiked up her skirt.
“Patrick I picked up your dry cleaners!” Mandy said through door. “You’re gonna have to help with the groceries. If you do-“ Mandy stopped once she looked up.
Patrick pushed Amber on the floor picked up his pants and began to grovel.
“Mandy it’s not what it looks like.” He said slowly.
Mandy shook her head and held back tears. “Here’s your dry cleaning.” She said as she threw them on the ground and left.
“GET OUT BEFORE I FUCKING MURDER YOU!!” Patrick roared.
“Fine there’s somewhere else I need to be anyway.” She said as she grabbed her things and left.
Patrick threw on a hoodie and chased after Mandy. Thinking that she was gone by now he saw her sitting in the car crying her eyes out making his heart ache.
Patrick slowly approached the car and knocked on the window. Mandy looked up and started the car.
“Mandy wait! Let me explain!” He said as he chased after her.
Hours went by. No one got a hold of her. Patrick tried 30 times. He called Joe asked if she was there no sign of her. Same with Andy. He tried Pete a couple times but the bastard wouldn’t answer which only meant she was there.
Patrick knocked on Pete’s door and soon as it opened Pete pulled him in a shoved him up against the wall. “YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS ONE OF THE GREATEST GIRLS I’VE EVER MET AND YOU GO AND CHEAT ON HER WITH THE QUEEN OF SLUTS!!!” Pete screamed in his face.
“I didn’t cheat on her!!” Patrick yelled.
Pete shook his head and shoved him towards Joe. “I’ve told you this many times. Mandy is like a sister to me. She came here balling her eyes out because of you. You better have a good reason or I will fucking kill you.” Joe said as he gritted his teeth together.
“Wait guys! Maybe he’s telling the truth!” Andy said as he sat Patrick down. “What happened?”
“She came over started crying I comforted her with an innocent pat on the back next thing I know my pants are off and she’s dry humping me.”
“Why would you let her take your pants off? PERVERT!!” Pete screamed.
“She held me down! You don’t think I tried to get her off??! Guys I love Mandy! I would never throw away what I have with her for AMBER!”
“That’s what I thought! If you ever would cheat on her I doubt it would be with Amber!” Andy said in his defense.
“There’s no if. I would NEVER do that. It’s happened to me too many times I love her way too much.”
“How could you do that Patrick?” She said with teary eyes.
Patrick’s heart began to hurt. He slowly walked over to her and grabbed her shoulders.
“I would never ever do that to you. I didn’t do it today. You have to believe me.”
“I saw it with my own eyes!! God only knows what would’ve happened if I didn’t show up!”
“Mandy please! I love you so much I’m not cheating on you!”
“I don’t know Patrick. What about the thing in bed??”
“Mandy that was nothing!”
“Whoa. Wait a minute what thing in bed??” Sarah asked.
“Mandy if you tell them I’ll make you regret meeting me.” Patrick said as he clenched his teeth.
“Bull fucking shit! If you touch her I’ll make you regret being born!” Joe yelled.
“I GAVE YOU A BLOW JOB AND YOU CALLED OUT HER FUCKING NAME!! HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO THINK SOMETHING??!!?!” She screamed.
“OH AND YOU’RE SUCH A SAINT! I WONDER WHO BEN IS RAPING TODAY?!?” Patrick screamed in her face.
Joe cracked his knuckles but Pete and Andy held him back.
Mandy’s face turned red she grabbed a glass off of Pete’s table and whirled it at him. Luckily he ducked. “You are such a bastard! You claim you love me but you keep giving me such shit!!”
“I give you shit?!! I GIVE YOU SHIT?!?!”
“Yes Patrick you fucking do from day 1! It’s never fucking stopped! That’s why I’m leaving but it’s no skin off your ass ‘cause you have Amber!!”
Patrick Stump could spit me in the face(but he wouldn't 'cause he's sweeter than sugar)and I would not care so that’s how you all know this is fiction.
“I’ll have 3 white chocolate mochas no whip cream.” Her nasal voice sounded like claws on a chalkboard.
“Okay that’ll be 9.26.”
She pulled out her Prada wallet that matched her Prada bag and gave her ten dollars.
“Keep the change. You can put it towards lipo.” She said loudly making two girls behind her sitting at a booth laugh.
‘If I wasn’t so well mannered I’d spit in your coffee.’ Mandy thought as she rolled her eyes.
Mandy watched the 3 girls. One of them looked painfully familiar. Even if it was the person she thought it was she wouldn’t bother.
“Come on let’s get you your man!” A girl with fire engine red hair shouted as the rest of them laughed as they walked out.
“Okay Mandy you can go now.” Her boss said.
“Thank the lawd.” Mandy said as she laughed.
There was a knock at the door.
‘Yay Mandy’s home.’ Patrick thought as he went to the door he opened it to find the exact opposite.
“Hi Patty Cakes.” She said in a deep voice.
Patrick cringed. “And what the fuck do you want?”
“You and nothing else.” She said as she let herself in and sat down on the couch pulling up her knee high Gucci boots.
“Too bad we’re all out you can leave now.” He said quickly.
‘Seducing isn’t working. Let’s try pity.’ She thought as she took off her jacket and sighed. “Patrick I actually came here to talk to you. I have no one else.” She said softly as her eyes watered. ‘I’d like to thank the academy.’ She thought as she held back a smile.
Patrick rolled his eyes. “What is it?”
“Don broke up with me. He cheated on me Patrick can you believe that?!”
“Smart guy. I under estimated him.” Patrick said to himself and sighed. “I’m sorry to hear that now go.” He said as he pointed to the door.
Amber began to make herself cry harder. “Nobody loves me. Hell nobody likes me! I had to get rid of my dog because it liked the maid more!”
Patrick held back a laugh. “That’s horrible.” He said as he bit his lip.
“Patrick do you still like me?” She said as she batted her eyelashes at him.
‘Fuck. No.’ “Umm…yes?”
“Oh good. It’s good to know at least one person in this world likes me.” She said as she hugged him and fake cried on his shoulder.
“There, there.” Patrick said uncomfortably.
“I missed you.” She whispered as she fumbled with his belt buckle.
“Amber I think you should leave now.” Patrick said as he pushed her away and got off of the couch.
“I don’t want to. I wanna stay with you.” She said as she pushed him back down on the couch and sat on his lap holding his wrists digging her nails in.
“Get. Off.” He said as he grinded his teeth.
“I’ll get you off.” She said as she laughed.
One kiss. One kiss was all it took and Patrick melted. His body relaxed but his stomach turned.
She reeked of cheap perfume and hair spray unlike his girlfriend who always smelt like strawberries. Patrick kicked his legs up and down and turned his head away from her.
“If my girlfriend comes home and sees this she’ll leave me! GET OFF!” He roared.
“Are you mad?” She asked as she smiled. “I love it when you’re mad.” She whispered as she licked his ear. “Who’s your girlfriend?” She asked as she quickly ripped his shirt off and shoved his jeans down to his ankles and returned her hands to Patrick’s wrists so he didn’t do anything he’ll regret.
“Mandy.” He huffed underneath his breath as he felt her becoming wet on his bare thigh.
“Ugh. That fat girl? She’s grotesque for god’s sake.”
“She’s gorgeous and I’m going to marry her!!” Patrick barked.
“Over. My. Dead. Body.” She said as she threw off her shirt and hiked up her skirt.
“Patrick I picked up your dry cleaners!” Mandy said through door. “You’re gonna have to help with the groceries. If you do-“ Mandy stopped once she looked up.
Patrick pushed Amber on the floor picked up his pants and began to grovel.
“Mandy it’s not what it looks like.” He said slowly.
Mandy shook her head and held back tears. “Here’s your dry cleaning.” She said as she threw them on the ground and left.
“GET OUT BEFORE I FUCKING MURDER YOU!!” Patrick roared.
“Fine there’s somewhere else I need to be anyway.” She said as she grabbed her things and left.
Patrick threw on a hoodie and chased after Mandy. Thinking that she was gone by now he saw her sitting in the car crying her eyes out making his heart ache.
Patrick slowly approached the car and knocked on the window. Mandy looked up and started the car.
“Mandy wait! Let me explain!” He said as he chased after her.
Hours went by. No one got a hold of her. Patrick tried 30 times. He called Joe asked if she was there no sign of her. Same with Andy. He tried Pete a couple times but the bastard wouldn’t answer which only meant she was there.
Patrick knocked on Pete’s door and soon as it opened Pete pulled him in a shoved him up against the wall. “YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS ONE OF THE GREATEST GIRLS I’VE EVER MET AND YOU GO AND CHEAT ON HER WITH THE QUEEN OF SLUTS!!!” Pete screamed in his face.
“I didn’t cheat on her!!” Patrick yelled.
Pete shook his head and shoved him towards Joe. “I’ve told you this many times. Mandy is like a sister to me. She came here balling her eyes out because of you. You better have a good reason or I will fucking kill you.” Joe said as he gritted his teeth together.
“Wait guys! Maybe he’s telling the truth!” Andy said as he sat Patrick down. “What happened?”
“She came over started crying I comforted her with an innocent pat on the back next thing I know my pants are off and she’s dry humping me.”
“Why would you let her take your pants off? PERVERT!!” Pete screamed.
“She held me down! You don’t think I tried to get her off??! Guys I love Mandy! I would never throw away what I have with her for AMBER!”
“That’s what I thought! If you ever would cheat on her I doubt it would be with Amber!” Andy said in his defense.
“There’s no if. I would NEVER do that. It’s happened to me too many times I love her way too much.”
“How could you do that Patrick?” She said with teary eyes.
Patrick’s heart began to hurt. He slowly walked over to her and grabbed her shoulders.
“I would never ever do that to you. I didn’t do it today. You have to believe me.”
“I saw it with my own eyes!! God only knows what would’ve happened if I didn’t show up!”
“Mandy please! I love you so much I’m not cheating on you!”
“I don’t know Patrick. What about the thing in bed??”
“Mandy that was nothing!”
“Whoa. Wait a minute what thing in bed??” Sarah asked.
“Mandy if you tell them I’ll make you regret meeting me.” Patrick said as he clenched his teeth.
“Bull fucking shit! If you touch her I’ll make you regret being born!” Joe yelled.
“I GAVE YOU A BLOW JOB AND YOU CALLED OUT HER FUCKING NAME!! HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO THINK SOMETHING??!!?!” She screamed.
“OH AND YOU’RE SUCH A SAINT! I WONDER WHO BEN IS RAPING TODAY?!?” Patrick screamed in her face.
Joe cracked his knuckles but Pete and Andy held him back.
Mandy’s face turned red she grabbed a glass off of Pete’s table and whirled it at him. Luckily he ducked. “You are such a bastard! You claim you love me but you keep giving me such shit!!”
“I give you shit?!! I GIVE YOU SHIT?!?!”
“Yes Patrick you fucking do from day 1! It’s never fucking stopped! That’s why I’m leaving but it’s no skin off your ass ‘cause you have Amber!!”
Patrick Stump could spit me in the face(but he wouldn't 'cause he's sweeter than sugar)and I would not care so that’s how you all know this is fiction.
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