Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Frankie's journal
There we go, three up tonight. I think that's enough for now because then if I post the last two, you'll have to wait for me to write the next ones! And believe me, I have writers block at the moment.
Mall was pretty fun yesterday, got kicked out of a few stores for some reason. Maybe something Gerard did, I don’t know… The mall workers wouldn’t know about my problems at home would they?
Anyway, for some reason we went into a sport shop, I guess just too see why jocks like it so much, and stood at the back looking at something when a worker walked up and asked us to leave. Gerard, the tough guy he is, turned to the worker and said “are you gonna make us? We havent breached the rules or whatever” the worker walked away and returned with the security guard who escorted us out the shop. Yeah, we got a few funny looks, but we ran before he could talk to us. We rounded a few corners and stopped to catch our breath but ended laughing so hard it stung.
We ended up leaving the mall, nothing good ever happens there, and went for some ice cream. You’re never too old for that. We sat outside the shop on the grass, under a tree and ate the ice creams, getting massive brain freezes and laughing.
I’ve been having a lot of fun with Gerard, and I’m starting to think if there’s more to it than just our friendship. I'm not saying that I'm gay and that I'm in love with him, but sometimes I catch him looking at me in a way that makes me question it. Not that I’d walk up to him and ask, that would be humiliating for both Gerard and me.
It wouldn’t matter much if he did though, we’d still be friends. I don’t know if I like Gerard in that way, I’ve never given my sexuality a thought, I mean I’m only 14. Or am I meant to be?
I’ve only ever been in love once before, well I thought it was love. I'm not very sure. Her name was Jamia Nestor. She was your average girl, into the newest fashions, totally in love with boys, sometimes a total bitch but I was attracted to her. A lot. I was head over heals if she even glanced at me once. But that was trampled on when they all thought it would be funny to break my heart.
Graduation was coming up for school and people decided to get dates. Of course I dreamed mine to be Jamia, and I almost fainted when she asked me. I was in a trance and madly ‘in love’ that I said yes. I got ready for the graduation, made sure I looked nice and left for the hall, on time for once.
I saw her standing with a bunch of friends, so I walked up to her and said hi when she turned around with a weird look on her face and said “I cant believe you actually thought I would be your date to this stupid graduation thing!” and laughed in my face, in front of everyone. I ran home, crying, and locked myself in my room. I didn’t want to go to school, I didn’t want to leave the safety of my room and I especially didn’t want to see her again. But I had to.
Since that night, I havent really thought much to that stuff. Once something happens once, it scars you for life and you never forget it. I see her everyday at school still, although I hoped she would move or she would break out in some disease and keel over, but it just won’t happen. She laughs and giggles with her newer friends as they stare at me when I walk by, but I have to live with it now. But I really hope her pretty face gets her into trouble…
Well, mother is calling me from down stairs. God knows what I have done this time, Bye!
Frank 10 November.
Note: How should I find out how Gerard feels? If only you could answer me…
Mall was pretty fun yesterday, got kicked out of a few stores for some reason. Maybe something Gerard did, I don’t know… The mall workers wouldn’t know about my problems at home would they?
Anyway, for some reason we went into a sport shop, I guess just too see why jocks like it so much, and stood at the back looking at something when a worker walked up and asked us to leave. Gerard, the tough guy he is, turned to the worker and said “are you gonna make us? We havent breached the rules or whatever” the worker walked away and returned with the security guard who escorted us out the shop. Yeah, we got a few funny looks, but we ran before he could talk to us. We rounded a few corners and stopped to catch our breath but ended laughing so hard it stung.
We ended up leaving the mall, nothing good ever happens there, and went for some ice cream. You’re never too old for that. We sat outside the shop on the grass, under a tree and ate the ice creams, getting massive brain freezes and laughing.
I’ve been having a lot of fun with Gerard, and I’m starting to think if there’s more to it than just our friendship. I'm not saying that I'm gay and that I'm in love with him, but sometimes I catch him looking at me in a way that makes me question it. Not that I’d walk up to him and ask, that would be humiliating for both Gerard and me.
It wouldn’t matter much if he did though, we’d still be friends. I don’t know if I like Gerard in that way, I’ve never given my sexuality a thought, I mean I’m only 14. Or am I meant to be?
I’ve only ever been in love once before, well I thought it was love. I'm not very sure. Her name was Jamia Nestor. She was your average girl, into the newest fashions, totally in love with boys, sometimes a total bitch but I was attracted to her. A lot. I was head over heals if she even glanced at me once. But that was trampled on when they all thought it would be funny to break my heart.
Graduation was coming up for school and people decided to get dates. Of course I dreamed mine to be Jamia, and I almost fainted when she asked me. I was in a trance and madly ‘in love’ that I said yes. I got ready for the graduation, made sure I looked nice and left for the hall, on time for once.
I saw her standing with a bunch of friends, so I walked up to her and said hi when she turned around with a weird look on her face and said “I cant believe you actually thought I would be your date to this stupid graduation thing!” and laughed in my face, in front of everyone. I ran home, crying, and locked myself in my room. I didn’t want to go to school, I didn’t want to leave the safety of my room and I especially didn’t want to see her again. But I had to.
Since that night, I havent really thought much to that stuff. Once something happens once, it scars you for life and you never forget it. I see her everyday at school still, although I hoped she would move or she would break out in some disease and keel over, but it just won’t happen. She laughs and giggles with her newer friends as they stare at me when I walk by, but I have to live with it now. But I really hope her pretty face gets her into trouble…
Well, mother is calling me from down stairs. God knows what I have done this time, Bye!
Frank 10 November.
Note: How should I find out how Gerard feels? If only you could answer me…
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