Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Fly Me Away
BABETTE
“Babes, wake up. Come on honey, come on.” I heard Gerard urging me quietly. My eyes fluttered wildly before I was able to focus. I was in the hospital. Last night’s events hit me like a ton of bricks and a slap to the face. My mother was dead and something happened to me, something awful but I didn’t know what. I could barely remember, but it was there. I tried to sit up but as soon as I did I felt as though I had a cement block crushing my rib cage and I was forced to lay back down. I felt Gerard’s warm and calloused hand on my cheek and I reached up to touch it.
“W-what happened to me?” I asked, my voice sounding weak and frail. I realized there was a tube blowing icy cold air into my nose, forcing me to breath. There was also an IV in my left arm. It must’ve been serious.
“You had an asthma attack, brought on by your panicking.” Gerard explained coolly, stroking my cheek as I held his hand in my trembling fingers.
“I haven’t had one since I was eight…my mother is dead isn’t she?” I asked quietly, more to myself than Gerard, who nodded sorrowfully. He had never met my mother. And now he never would. I was an orphan now. And what about Elodie? What about her son Benny? What will happen to them now that our mother is deceased? What would happen to me? All these questions and thoughts racked my brain, swarming in hoards like bees or flies, all biting and stinging my already aching heart.
“Babes I am so sorry.” Gerard said, interrupting my delusional state. I stared at the wall about five feet away from me, focusing on nothing but that wall. I knew if I looked over at him I would start to cry.
“The doctors said you have to stay the night so they can keep an eye on you. Everybody is here, even Mikey. They’ve been waiting all night for you to wake up.” Gerard said, ignoring my silence. I felt a rush of bitter sweet affection toward everybody, but it faded just as soon as it had come.
“Are you okay?” Gerard asked, finally noticing how quiet I had been. I shook my head and kept staring at the wall, trying my hardest not to crumble into the million shattered pieces I felt like. It was as if I was only being held together by the thought of staring at this wall. My eyes were so fixed on it that it began to blur but because it was just a blank wall it didn’t even matter.
“Your gonna be alright, I promise. We can leave tomorrow and then everything will go back to normal.” Gerard promised, leaning in to press his chapped lips to my cheek. I cringed but didn’t move away. I was frozen.
“I’m gonna go let the guys know that they can leave okay? I’ll be back in five minutes, okay?” Gerard told my. I nodded and waited until he left. When he was gone and the door was shut I looked away from the wall and stared around my hospital room.
There was an empty bed next to mine, separated by only a thin curtain. They had the same, ugly beige-like pink covers on them. The walls were off white and the florescent lighting was making my eyes throb. I didn’t know if I could face the reality of what had happened quite yet. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to my mother’s cremation. She said that when she died she wanted to be cremated, not buried and have her ashes scattered by the ocean. She put it in her will. I think her ashes would be sent here and I would have to spread them by myself. That would be painful.
There was this ache in my stomach. Like a big hole filled with nothing but emptiness and sadness. I bit down on my knuckle and let out a cry. This couldn’t be real. This wasn’t fair, not at all. Why did my mother have to die? Didn’t they know how much she was needed? I felt guilty. All the shit I had put her through hit me all at once.
I had been a bad child, and Elodie had been even worse. When I was two she taught me to walk and I thanked her by running away when she called. When I was ten she bought me a base ball I thanked her by throwing it through the window. When I was sixteen she taught me to drive and I thanked her by getting into three fender benders in two years. And when I was twenty four, my age now, she helped me spread my wings and I thanked her by running off to LA with a boy she’d never met before.
All of the bad and the wrong that I had done and she still loved me none the less. She was my mother and nobody could ever replace her. And at that moment I felt as though I would never overcome losing her. I couldn’t see any hope in the situation. I honestly couldn’t. And I knew that there was only one way out.
“Babes, wake up. Come on honey, come on.” I heard Gerard urging me quietly. My eyes fluttered wildly before I was able to focus. I was in the hospital. Last night’s events hit me like a ton of bricks and a slap to the face. My mother was dead and something happened to me, something awful but I didn’t know what. I could barely remember, but it was there. I tried to sit up but as soon as I did I felt as though I had a cement block crushing my rib cage and I was forced to lay back down. I felt Gerard’s warm and calloused hand on my cheek and I reached up to touch it.
“W-what happened to me?” I asked, my voice sounding weak and frail. I realized there was a tube blowing icy cold air into my nose, forcing me to breath. There was also an IV in my left arm. It must’ve been serious.
“You had an asthma attack, brought on by your panicking.” Gerard explained coolly, stroking my cheek as I held his hand in my trembling fingers.
“I haven’t had one since I was eight…my mother is dead isn’t she?” I asked quietly, more to myself than Gerard, who nodded sorrowfully. He had never met my mother. And now he never would. I was an orphan now. And what about Elodie? What about her son Benny? What will happen to them now that our mother is deceased? What would happen to me? All these questions and thoughts racked my brain, swarming in hoards like bees or flies, all biting and stinging my already aching heart.
“Babes I am so sorry.” Gerard said, interrupting my delusional state. I stared at the wall about five feet away from me, focusing on nothing but that wall. I knew if I looked over at him I would start to cry.
“The doctors said you have to stay the night so they can keep an eye on you. Everybody is here, even Mikey. They’ve been waiting all night for you to wake up.” Gerard said, ignoring my silence. I felt a rush of bitter sweet affection toward everybody, but it faded just as soon as it had come.
“Are you okay?” Gerard asked, finally noticing how quiet I had been. I shook my head and kept staring at the wall, trying my hardest not to crumble into the million shattered pieces I felt like. It was as if I was only being held together by the thought of staring at this wall. My eyes were so fixed on it that it began to blur but because it was just a blank wall it didn’t even matter.
“Your gonna be alright, I promise. We can leave tomorrow and then everything will go back to normal.” Gerard promised, leaning in to press his chapped lips to my cheek. I cringed but didn’t move away. I was frozen.
“I’m gonna go let the guys know that they can leave okay? I’ll be back in five minutes, okay?” Gerard told my. I nodded and waited until he left. When he was gone and the door was shut I looked away from the wall and stared around my hospital room.
There was an empty bed next to mine, separated by only a thin curtain. They had the same, ugly beige-like pink covers on them. The walls were off white and the florescent lighting was making my eyes throb. I didn’t know if I could face the reality of what had happened quite yet. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to my mother’s cremation. She said that when she died she wanted to be cremated, not buried and have her ashes scattered by the ocean. She put it in her will. I think her ashes would be sent here and I would have to spread them by myself. That would be painful.
There was this ache in my stomach. Like a big hole filled with nothing but emptiness and sadness. I bit down on my knuckle and let out a cry. This couldn’t be real. This wasn’t fair, not at all. Why did my mother have to die? Didn’t they know how much she was needed? I felt guilty. All the shit I had put her through hit me all at once.
I had been a bad child, and Elodie had been even worse. When I was two she taught me to walk and I thanked her by running away when she called. When I was ten she bought me a base ball I thanked her by throwing it through the window. When I was sixteen she taught me to drive and I thanked her by getting into three fender benders in two years. And when I was twenty four, my age now, she helped me spread my wings and I thanked her by running off to LA with a boy she’d never met before.
All of the bad and the wrong that I had done and she still loved me none the less. She was my mother and nobody could ever replace her. And at that moment I felt as though I would never overcome losing her. I couldn’t see any hope in the situation. I honestly couldn’t. And I knew that there was only one way out.
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