Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Fly Me Away
BABETTE
The night we got back from the hospital, I stayed up very late. I feigned sleep and listened to Gerard’s sweet slumber sounds going on next to me. I counted his breathing, listening to him snore very slightly and smiling softly to myself. At three exactly I got up from our massive bed and snuck into our overly large bathroom where I locked myself in. I dug into the cabinets and found a spare razor Gerard kept. I took it and a pair of scissors and sat on the counter next to the sink. I used the scissors to cut through the plastic of the razor and carefully extracted each tiny blade individually.
For a moment I hesitated. I sat and stared at the razor blade in my hand, right over my wrist. I stared at the wretched sight for a good ten minutes, hands and fingers trembling slightly. Finally I broke down and gently slid the sharp edge of the blade against my soft, fleshy wrist. Red liquid swelled up and beaded as I pulled the blade along. I was mesmerized and hypnotized by the sight of the blood pooling on my skin. I didn’t even notice the smarting and stinging from the slice. Finally, the bead of blood broke and dripped from my wrist to the white counter top. It was a high I had never felt before. It was like I was watching myself from above and it felt amazing.
I made three more cuts in that wrist, then three in the other. I took time to watch the blood drip and drizzle on the counter, collecting in a tiny red pool that was growing steadily larger. They were shallow cuts, but they bled deeply.
I was careful not to get any on my clothes or any fabrics. When the cuts finally stopped gushing and began to clot I went and pulled some toilet paper to clean up the mess. After I finished cleaning I flushed the red and bloody tissues down the toilet. Now the only evidence was the mark on my wrists. And to cover that would be easy. I pulled a long sleeved shirt from the hamper and put it on.
I felt amazing, high and very emotionally drained. This was so therapeutic, more than I originally expected it to be. I knew I would be doing it again, as soon as my current wounds healed which shouldn’t take too long considering how shallow they were.
I carefully and quietly left the tainted bathroom and climbed back into bed with Gerard. He mumbled something in his sleep and wrapped his heavy arms around me. I had finally found a way of making myself feel better. Now the hard part would be keeping it from him.
The night we got back from the hospital, I stayed up very late. I feigned sleep and listened to Gerard’s sweet slumber sounds going on next to me. I counted his breathing, listening to him snore very slightly and smiling softly to myself. At three exactly I got up from our massive bed and snuck into our overly large bathroom where I locked myself in. I dug into the cabinets and found a spare razor Gerard kept. I took it and a pair of scissors and sat on the counter next to the sink. I used the scissors to cut through the plastic of the razor and carefully extracted each tiny blade individually.
For a moment I hesitated. I sat and stared at the razor blade in my hand, right over my wrist. I stared at the wretched sight for a good ten minutes, hands and fingers trembling slightly. Finally I broke down and gently slid the sharp edge of the blade against my soft, fleshy wrist. Red liquid swelled up and beaded as I pulled the blade along. I was mesmerized and hypnotized by the sight of the blood pooling on my skin. I didn’t even notice the smarting and stinging from the slice. Finally, the bead of blood broke and dripped from my wrist to the white counter top. It was a high I had never felt before. It was like I was watching myself from above and it felt amazing.
I made three more cuts in that wrist, then three in the other. I took time to watch the blood drip and drizzle on the counter, collecting in a tiny red pool that was growing steadily larger. They were shallow cuts, but they bled deeply.
I was careful not to get any on my clothes or any fabrics. When the cuts finally stopped gushing and began to clot I went and pulled some toilet paper to clean up the mess. After I finished cleaning I flushed the red and bloody tissues down the toilet. Now the only evidence was the mark on my wrists. And to cover that would be easy. I pulled a long sleeved shirt from the hamper and put it on.
I felt amazing, high and very emotionally drained. This was so therapeutic, more than I originally expected it to be. I knew I would be doing it again, as soon as my current wounds healed which shouldn’t take too long considering how shallow they were.
I carefully and quietly left the tainted bathroom and climbed back into bed with Gerard. He mumbled something in his sleep and wrapped his heavy arms around me. I had finally found a way of making myself feel better. Now the hard part would be keeping it from him.
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