FicWad

Well, here it is, my dear readers. The final chapter of The Only Hope For Me Is... I hope you enjoyed my story.

I am planning on possibly writing a sequel, so I'm taking a vote. Any reviews would be great, and if you review, tell me- do you want more?

Thank you for sticking by me To The End. I apologize for taking so long to update... I wanted to get this chapter up by Christmas, so Merry Late Christmas, my friends.

I have to say, in conclusion of my story, remember this- "Be yourself, never take anyone's $*, and never let them take you alive."

~Fallen Avenging Angel

Gerard’s POV-

My heart sank when Frank and Autumn left. I was still hung-over from downing the last of my liquor the night before, and imagining what those two must be going to do made me feel even sicker and put a dull ache in my chest. I left the classroom, but instead of heading to my next class, I found myself walking to the nurse’s office.

“Why, hello Gerard,” the nurse greeted me. “What seems to be the problem?”

“I feel really sick. Like I’m going to throw up.” I looked up at her and put on my most pitiful, ill expression, which wasn’t hard considering how sick I already looked.

The nurse looked at me sympathetically. She knew I had been sick at school a lot recently, and was definitely cutting me quite a lot of slack when she asked me, “Do you need to go home?”

I was shocked. She was going to let me leave just like that?

“Y-yes please,” I stuttered, surprised at her blatant disregard for school rules. Only a fever or a doctor’s note could excuse a student.

“Okay, here’s a pass. Go to your locker, get your things, and give this to the front office. We’ll send your work with Mikey this afternoon, okay?” I nodded, accepting the paper freedom. I started for the door, but froze when I heard my name.

“Gerard?” I turned to face the nurse again.

“Things’ll get better. Heartbreak is hard on everyone.” She smiled and winked at me, and for the first time, I noticed the scars that littered her wrists. She pulled her sweater sleeves back over them, and went back to her work. I numbly stepped out the door and got ready to go home.


Autumn’s POV-

Frank was distracted as I drove. He was staring out the window with a distant look on his face, and his hand was clutching the armrest so tightly that it was squeaking in protest. I rested one hand on his, and he snapped back to reality, releasing his death-hold on the armrest and giving me an apologetic smile.

“So,” he asked, “where are you taking us?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Why don’t we go back to my place? It’s quiet there. No one’s home. You can explain why you’re so… not here.”

Frank nodded, and we rode on in silence, with his hand clutching mine.

*

“So. Whatdya wanna do?”

Frank and I were sitting cross-legged in my bedroom. I leaned my head back and rested it on his shoulder before I snaked my arm around his waist and planted a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“I know what I want to do,” I whispered, “but that depends. What do you want to do?”

Frank smiled broadly, the distracted look gone from his eyes.

“It seems like we have the same idea,” he whispered, returning the kiss. He then kissed me again, on the lips this time, and pushed me lightly. I landed on my back on the bed, and he lay on top of me, leaving a line of kisses along my jaw. I giggled, and flipped him over on his back. He gasped in surprise as I straddled his chest.


“Frankie-bear has been a naughty boy, hasn’t he? Taking advantage of young ladies like this.” I tsk-tsked and ran my hand down his chest, stopping right above the waistband of his jeans. I looked in his eyes and leaned down to kiss him again.

I smiled when his tongue slid into my mouth. As we kissed, I toyed with his lip-ring with my tongue before giving in and unbuttoning his shirt.

Frank sighed blissfully as I took in his beautiful body; his eyes shut tight as I devoured him with my eyes.

“Frankie,” I whispered, fingering his tattoos.

His eyes flew open, and he looked surprised and almost guilty to find me sitting on him. He swallowed hard and spoke.

“Autumn, I can’t do this.”

I smiled sadly. “I know.”

“Wait, what?”

“You still love him. It’s been obvious since the start.” I swallowed back a sob; though I’d known this all along, it still hurt a little to say. “You love me too, but as a friend and a sister. Thanks for giving me a shot, though. Now go to him. Tell him the truth. You need him as much as he needs you.”

Frank looked guilty still as he looked up at me.

“I’m sorry for using you, Autumn. I never should have lied to you. Or Gee. I’m sorry.”

I swallowed again, wiping back a tear.
“
Using me? I enjoyed every minute. I forgive you. Now go!” I started to get up, but Frank stopped me by grabbing me by the arms and kissing me passionately. Though I knew the kiss was for my benefit only, I cherished every moment of the too-short embrace.

Frank broke away, gave me a hug that sent my heart a-flutter, and before I knew it, he was gone.

I flopped back onto the bed and buried my face in the pillow. The tears that I had been holding back began to fall, and I fell asleep to the scent of Frank Iero.


Gerard’s POV-

I sat on the swing at the park outside my house, staring at the house that had once been Frank’s. I had come home and immediately taken the last of my Xanax. I was now sitting and thinking…

Christmas, two years ago. Mikey sat by the window, holding a gift from my father, who was never around. My mother was holding a video camera, taping our exclamations of surprise and joy as we tore open our gifts. A cell phone for Mikey, new pencils and a sketchbook for me. Comics for us to share.

My father burst into the room, rendering Mikey to tears. He had not believed that our father would actually arrive, and it was too much for him.
“Why are you only around on Christmas? The gifts don’t mean anything!” I snapped, rocking my baby brother. “You try to but our love, but it doesn’t work! It doesn’t make you our father! You’ve never been there for us. Why should a couple of gifts make any difference? I want you to stay away from Mikey, you hear? Look what you’ve done!”

I sighed, tears streaming down. Yet another thing I’d ruined. That Christmas was the day I’d started drinking. I hurt my mom so badly. That’s all I ever did. Hurt people.
I stood up from the swing, tears pouring down my face. I knew what I was going to do.
I started towards the lake in the center of the deserted park, unzipping my hoodie and leaving it lying on the cold ground. It was cold out, and a thin layer of ice lay one the large lake. I also stripped off my shirt as I walked, exposing my scars. Before long, I was standing in the snow on the shore of the lake in my jeans, shivering, clutching myself, and staring at the word Frank, which was still visible on my arm.

My mind foggy with cold and drugs, I said goodbye silently to Mikey, Ray, Bob, Autumn, and mostly Frankie, and jumped. As my feet broke the surface, I was almost positive I heard an angel calling my name.


Frank’s POV-

I screamed Gerard’s name when I saw him leap into the water. I had been walking to school to find him when I’d spotted him standing in just his jeans in the snow. I knew something was wrong ever before he jumped, but now I was terrified, in a word.

I raced to the bank and tore my hoodie and shirt off, and did the most reasonable thing- I dove in after him.

The first thing that hit me when I hit the water was how frigid the icy lake was. I felt my muscles contract and lock from the cold and I began to sink, my air supply dwindling fast. I had never been a strong swimmer, and panic was already setting in. Somehow, I managed to reach the surface. I took a huge lungful of air and re-submerged.

Now the real problem was finding Gee. He was somewhere on the lake bottom, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. Just as I was about to have to go up for air, I spotted him below me, floating along unconscious. Did I go down to get him and risk running out of air and drowning, or go to the surface and risk not being able to find him again? The answer was clear. His life before mine.

I propelled myself to the bottom of the lake and grabbed Gerard around the waist. Though he was very light, the extra weight slowed me down. My lungs were burning as I raced the clock, trying to reach the surface before I was forced to inhale the freezing water.

Time slowed. I felt my lungs aching; my muscles were cramping from cold; Gerard’s limp form in my arms. I realized how easy it would be to let go. It would be so simple to just sink back down, to pass on and be with him forever in a place with no bullies, or sneers, or people screaming “EMO FAGS” in our direction. We could leave that behind and be with each other.

A movement from Gerard’s limp body quieted that thought. Not a twitch or a movement from his eyes or his limbs, but something more subtle. A heartbeat. Though his pulse was faint, it was there. And that was what mattered. He was alive.

I kicked hard, thrashing towards the surface in a desperate attempt to save him. My lings expanded against my will, welcoming an unwanted lungful of icy lake water-

just as I broke the surface. I coughed the water out of my lungs as I dragged Gee’s dying body ashore. I immediately began CPR, my body moving in autopilot while my mind played its repeating mantra- He’s not dead yet.

I forced air into his water-clogged lungs, and suddenly he began to cough. Water poured from his mouth and he curled into a ball, shivering violently, as was I. I grabbed his shirt and hoodie, as well as my own, ignoring my soaked skinnies and wrapping him in the dry cloth. This left me bare-chested, which was the least of my worries. Though Gee was much too large for me to carry easily, I knew he would likely die if I didn’t get him warm. So, I scooped him up into my arms and hurried as quickly as I could go to the house.

*

I slid Gerard into the hot water and he gasped. The water probably felt even hotter to his skin than it did mine. Slowly his tremors subsided, and he was able to support himself. He sighed shakily and leaned back in the water, sinking down under the steaming relief. I sat on the toilet, reveling in the irony of the situation- not so long ago, it had been me in the tub, Gee watching worriedly.

I snapped out of my reverie when Gee spoke, his voice soft and cautious.

“Why did you save me?”

I blinked in surprise. “What?”

“Why did you save me? You said that you didn’t care. You don’t love me. You didn’t have to feel guilty. It was my choice. You didn’t-“

“Gee,” I cut him off. “I didn’t save you because of guilt. I saved you because I love you.”

Gerard froze, his gaze wary, his half-clothed body almost fully submerged. “But you said- I thought-“

“I lied. I didn’t want you hurt. You got put into jail because of me. I didn’t want you to end up like Nathan. I always screw things up. If I’d realized just how much it would hurt you, I never would have dreamed of it. I know that with everything I did, you have no reason to take me back, but I would really appreciate it if you would give me another chance. I love you, Gee. I don’t ever want to be apart again.”

Gerard’s eyes filled with tears of love, relief, and longing. He reached out for me, and I knelt beside the tub, his hand in mine. I was cold, but his touch filled me with an unexpected warmth.

“Frankie, can I be the only hope for you? Because you’re the only hope for me.”

I swallowed, and said the words that had been waiting on my tongue for weeks.

“Gerard. You ARE the only hope for me. You have been since that first day, when you saved me. I’m tired of hiding it. I love you, Gerard Way, and I want the whole world to know.”

“But what about the bullies and jocks? What about the people who beat you and call us names? It’ll only get worse.” Gee looked into my eyes, his hand clutching mine.

“You know what? Let them come. We’ll give ‘em hell.”

With that, I leaned forward, pressing my lips to Gerard’s. We finally broke away, gazing at each other, all secrets out.

“I love you Frankie,” Gee whispered.

“Gee? I love you too.”