FicWad

*Gerard's POV*]

It was the day of my Grandmothers funeral. Elena Rush. She was my inspiration. With out her the band would be nowhere.

Frank, Ray and Matt stood next to me, they had become quite close to her, they were dressed in their useual black, but this time suits and ties. Mikey, Mom and Dad were stood on the other side of me.

Mikey was crying softly, I reached out and held his hand, giving it a little squeeze, trying to hold myself together, even though every one else was crying.

I watched the coffin go down and Dad turned to me "Why couldn't it have been you." He said coldly.

The nightmare had me sweating, my father never said anything like that to me that day.

I felt like I couldn't breath as he pushed my into the open grave, I let go of Mikey's hand and found myself in the coffin. Trapped.

I whacked on the lid and I could hear the dirt being thrown on top.

I screamed at the top of lungs for them to stop, and let me out. I couldn't breath and it was really dark.

I felt like I was falling, down, out of the bottom of the coffin, down into the earth, - like when Alice fell down the rabbit hole.

I landed with a great big thud at the bottom of where ever I was. People and shadows loomed over, suffocating me, they all started laughing, a cold dark chuckle.

One face repeated it's self over and over again. Bert Mccracken. He was over me laughing.

"Born to quit" he kept saying, "You're weak. Just like your brother."

I screamed myself awake, Mikey and the others were crowded around me, I'd fallen out of my bunk.

I was crying and shaking and every breath I took felt like it was trying to suffocate me more.

Mikey was down next to me, arms around me trying to help. But he couldn't, I just couldn't stop crying.

"I.. can't breath" I said in between sobs.

Frank sat next to me on the floor and rubbed my back, I kept seeing Bert's face over everyones shoulder, where ever I looked.

"shhhh, it's okay" Mikey was still holding my shaking body. I brought my knees up to my chest, clinging to them.

"I can't do this." I wasn't thinking right, I hadn't drunk in about 2 days now, and not had any drugs, "I can't-"

"Yes you can." Frank said putting a warm hand on top of mine, "It'll just take time."

I shook my head, "I can't do this." I said again.

*Frank's POV*

We'd all been woken up by the screaming, he was shouting our names, and Bert's and his grandmother's Elena. She had been so good to us, we all missed her.

There was a massive thud and we all jumped up to find Gerard on the floor crying, still asleep.

---

"Go get Brian." I said to Ray quietly.

Gerard had stopped crying but Mikey still sat comforting him, he was such a good brother, they both were. Mikey doesn't give himself enough credit.

Ray woke Brian up from his separate van and he came to the bus, fully dressed and very awake.

"Gerard, it's Brian." He said, joining Mikey and I on the floor, I stood up to give them some room.

"I had a nightmare." Gerard said softly, hugging his knees.

He put a hand on Gee's knee, reasuring him, "Okay. Up we get." He grabbed his hand and Gerard was on his feet. Mikey let them climb over him before getting up.

Gerard hands were shaking still as he held his mug of coffee, I knew he still wasn't scared, this was the withdrawls, Gerard hadn't gone to sleep sober in a long time ; he usually passed out in his bunk at some stupid time in the morning.

"Feeling better?" Brian asked a few minutes later, Gerard hadn't said much since Brian got here. He shakily nodded his head.

"I think." he muttered, staring into his coffee mug.

________
Sorry Was that crappy or not? Cos I wrote this late at night. Maria xoxox

2-1-11 AN : Thanks StarbucksJunkie for pointing out I wrote Brain instead of Brian! oxox ily M