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Birthday
1 month later, Franks birthday. Halloween.
Frank: I was in a bad place. I'd started to take sleeping pills in heavy amounts, and was cutting myself everynight. It was the only time, when I felt nothing for Gerard, i'd feel emotionless.

With every cut I tore myself up more now knowing that, I would never come any closer to stopping. The only thing that might make me stop is Gerard himself.

I knew that would never happen though. I layed there in my bed and cried, i'd almost forgotten it was my birthday. Which meant it was halloween. I smiled weakly and one though popped into my head. CANDY!!!!

I got so much more candy, when I told them that it was my birthday. I smiled it was probably late afternoon as the sun was coming, through my window. I wondered why mom or dad hadn't woke me up though.

I sat up and at the end of my bed was a wrapped gift. With a note on top.

Gone out today. I'm so sorry Frankie. Something came up. Call us before you go out. Love you M+D xxx

Great I was alone for my birthday. My eyes pricked and started to hurt. Sooner than I thought tears were rolling down my cheek. Slightly shaking I picked up the gift and ripped open the paper.

It was a box full of guitar picks and another note.
Look in your wardrobe enjoy.
I smiled and got up out of bed. I stumbled though and closed my eyes, as the vertigo hit me. It was horrible and my stomach lurched. I waited a few seconds waiting for it to pass. When it finally did I walked over to my wardrobe and I opened it.

Inside was the most beautiful guitar i'd ever seen. It was white and just all around perfect. It must've cost a fair bit these guitars didn't come cheap. A tear and smile came to my eye, they really did maybe care a bit. I grabbed the guitar. I suddenly realised It had pansy on it. Pansy's were my nans favourite flowers. I laughed and plugged my new guitar into my amp.

I played for what seemed like hours until the doorbell went. I set my guitar down, along with the lyrics and tune I was working on. I have to admit I was proud.

I was relieved when I saw a bowl of candy on the side. I wasn't usually at home on my birthday, but there was no point in going out tonight. I sighed at how pathetic my life was. I'd make all this feeling go away later by taking the pills and cutting.

"Trick or..." I started to get this said at me as I opened the door. They stopped though. I looked up to see why, maybe they were goning to just trick me. Great. The person at the door, was wearing a Misfit top, black skinnies and a awesome mask.

"Heyy dude, whoever you are they are an amazing band." I pointed at his shirt to make sure, it was clear who I was talking about. He nodded not seeming like he wanted to talk anymore. I smiled and held the candy bowl out.

The boy took two bits of candy no way he was a Misfit, fan I was definately going to give him more.
"No please take more, I sort of want to get rid of it and spend my birthday in peace." The boy under the mask let out a small giggle and took more candy. I could faintly see at the end of my path, was a group of people from our school.

I tried to see if Gerard was in there somewhere, it seemed to be his possy.
"Gee do it already, you got the candy, you've dressed up as him now do it." I looked confused. Gerard wasn't here well, I couldn't see him. Suddenly hard eggs were being pelted against my body. I fell to the floor.

"Gerard, he's down now beat the living shit out of him go on." I now understood Gerard was the guy under the mask. I started to cry, he'd come dressed as me for halloween?

Gerard: Frankie was crying I could see it, from the faint light from the hallway. I was horrible and I regretted already what I was about to do. I kicked him once in the stomch, not as hard as I could but still hard. I then got down and started punching his face. Tears streaming from my eyes.

Frannkie was chewing his lip off, trying to stop screaming I think. He still looked beautiful, and I was messing up his gorgeous face. I let a through sobs come through my lips, and Frankie's eyes suddenly flew open. Even though I was still hitting him, he didn't seem scared anymore.

I started singing under my breath what Frankie had heard when, I was in the classroom. He closed his eyes and seemed more relaxed, like he was enjoying the singing.

I stopped punching him and I heard the noise of my group yelling, that they were proud at me. I cried and just sat there.
"Dude we can go now just leave him." I nodded not having the power to conjure up my voice. What was he going to be like tomorrow at school? It was his birthday aswell. I got up.
"I'm sorry Frankie." with that I walked off and left him there. Sobbing on the porch of his house.

I was home, we'd only gone out to get Frankie nothing else. A few people hasd stayed out, but I couldn't. I had just hurt Frankie and myself so much. I sat on my bed and cried, I was a fucking dick. I loved him and I had hurt him in that way.

Some one knocked at my door, and I wiped away the tears, whoever it was I didn't want them to see me like this.
"Get the Frank kid?" Mikey walked in and he knew about Frank?!
"Ummm..." I couldn't finish off the sentence before I broke down again.

Mikey came over and hugged me. Something he hadn't done in years. This made me cry more and start to pour my heart out to Mikey, telling him that I was a dick and why did I do it. When I loved Frankie.

He just shrugged and said it will all be okay I wish I could believe him though.
"Thank you Mikey. Even though were not close anymore. Your the best little brother in the world."
"Thank you Gee. I don't hate you I just think you need to change. I really do. Think back to the summer, that's the Gee I love." he pulled away and got up and with that he left my room. I grabbed my diary and started to write.

Dear Diary, i've messed up, more than I ever though I could. I think Frankie is probably in a bad way. What if no one found him?

A few tears dropped onto the page.

I wish I could just forget about what happened. Or rewind time. I just wish everything was different. That maybe Frankie was popular or I wasn't, that seemed perfect to me. Me and Frankie together holding hands and kissing. I wish that would come true...it never will though. Not now anyway.
love G x

Frank: Shit not again. I cringed as I got up. My stomach was bruised and I was bound to have, another black eye. Maybe two. I hurt so much and Gerard had done this to me. Something bothered me though, he'd said sorry Frankie. Maybe I'd imagined it. Surely he wouldn't be sorry if anything he was now more popular.

I went inside and shut the door. No one had bothered to help me. That's New Jersey for you I suppose. I smiled maybe Gerard really had said sorry. I went upstairs and stripped off my clothes.

That night I didn't take tablets or cut myself in grief over what happened. I simply succumbed to a blissfull oblivion. One where me and Gerard were together and no one cared. I oved this boy.