Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > What will it take to show you that it's notthe life it seems?
Chapter One~
4 reviewsWhen a new guys shows up at Aimee's school, what do you think'll happen?
3Ambiance
Reviews
What will it take to show you that it's notthe life it seems?
(#) mcrluver 2011-02-12
I really like this! Mikey is so cute and my cat does that all the time! lol Update soon :DAuthor's response
Haha thanks and I shall have more up later today~What will it take to show you that it's notthe life it seems?
(#) Aquinelle 2011-02-12
This story could definitely go somewhere, but it's a bit short y'know? The story line is a little cliche. Well, a bit more than a little... But still, most stories are, and theres still tons of time to un-cliche it. Which you could definately do 'cos judging by you're last fic, you're a damn good writer. Maybe I could beta this? I would just help correct some of the few random grammatical mistakes and add a few lines of padding so it's a little longer. (Size does matter. Sorry to any boys out there readin' this)
BTW, is this the story you were getting people to audition for? If so you have quite a few auditions now 0.0 I think should put all the other romances (eg. Ray/? and Gerard/?) as a side story, it would make things more interesting, and people would be please at seeing thoer character thrown into the spotlight a little more.
Sorry if you got bored reading my random advice. I do this alot. XDAuthor's response
Lol I know it's too short. But I have a longish chapter next to make up for it. :3
And yeah uh thanks for the advice? Lol.
And wow me a great writer.? O.O THANKKSS~~~What will it take to show you that it's notthe life it seems?
(#) Aquinelle 2011-02-12
Oooooh I just noticed I put "thoer" instead of "Thier" that probably dosent fill you with confidence. 0.0
Oopsies.Author's response
Lol uhm it's spelled 'Their'...What will it take to show you that it's notthe life it seems?
(#) poisonchampagne 2011-02-12
Nice weaving of present culture and wit into your first chapter! This could go anywhere and it's your choice just where to take it. (P.S. can you make me a teacher of Gee's class??! LOL)
Way to go Cy, give us more!Author's response
Thanks ;)
And uhh yeah sure XD
Thankssss and I will!!
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