FicWad

I stumbled along the winding road, not really thinking where I was going but hoping that my feet were taking me to the general direction of my old home.
I took my phone out of my pocket and did something that I hav'nt done in 2 years..


"Hello?"I heard a voice on the other side of the line say.
I let out a sigh of relief, being thankfull that he hadn't changed his number.
"M-Mikey?"
..... Ahm Yeah?
"Mikey," I breathed, a long-lost smile spreading over my face.
W-Who's this
"Gerard, it's Gerard!" I said, just talking to him; hearing his voice, made most of my pain disappear.
A long pause continued my words.
"Mikes? You still there?"
..Um yeah, is this really Gerard or another prank, because I'm really getting sick of people trying to-
"Mikey!" I stopped him "It's me. It's Gee, your brother" I said not knowing how much clearer I could be.
"Gerard" He said, almost like he was adjusting himself to use the name again.
"It's me, Mikes"
He let out a sigh and I could tell that he was similing.
"Why are you calling? I mean not that I have a problem with it or anything just.. his voice trailed away.
"Um, It's sort of a long story.. I was wondering, um if I'm aloud, I could... come home?"
"Right now?"
"Um yeah, if it's all right?"
"Where are you?" He sounded concerned now.
"Um" For the first time I looked up to see my where-abouts. I smiled to myself, to my surprise my feet had known the way back, as though they knew that I would come to my senses soon and return.
"Im at the end of your street, wait you havn't moved or anything right?"
"nope, still on cemetery drive"He said with a hint of blankness in his tone.
"Right, well then I'm just down the road, I'll be there in one mi- Mikey!?" The line went dead.
I sighed and started walking down Cemetery drive. Memories flooding over me of Mikey and my lives growing up here. A grin crept over my lips as I thought of Mikey, he hadn't changed much, he was still the best brother anyone could ever ask for, I cannot believe I left him. How could I do something so selfish? I am barely whole when I'm without him. No wonder I've been miserable the past couple of years.

My thoughts seized as I was tackled to the ground, mer meters away from my old(and hopefully soon to be current) house. My body hurts so much already, I feel like I'm never goning to heal.
I looked up at the boy who was now sitting on my chest and couldn't stay mad.
"Mikey!"
"Hey Gerard, Long time no see" he said sounding a little shitty but still happy.
"Mikey, I don't know how to even begen to apologise to you for leaving I'm-" I could feel myself chocking and tearing up.
"Hey, lets talk inside." He stood up off me and offered his hand.
I took it and he hoisted me up, accidently a little too roughly.
I let a small yelp slip from my throat as pain sparked through my body.
"What is it?"
"N-Nothing, I mean I'll talk about it all inside"
Frowning, he put his arm over my shoulders, holding me in a sort of hug as we walked up the path leading to the house. I didn't mind, I was craving human contact that wasn't scarring.

"Are you hurt?" He asked after he sat me down on the couch.
"Um yeah, I'll be fine though, It's nothing major" I looked up at him and gave a small smile.
"Hmmmm, well do you need anything? Hungry?"
"No, not really" realising my appatite has left me completely.
"Come on Gerard, you look like you havn't eaten since you left!" I could see in his eyes that the last part of the sentence hurt him to say.
"I basically havn't" I murmered under my breath, so Mikey wouldn't hear.

My Dad wouldn't feed me, I would always have to scavenge food for myself. He was always at the pub so he would have all his meals in town. Pouring all our money down the sink by wasting it on over-priced takeouts and alcohol, leaving the kitchen dry of everything apart from vodca bottles. I managed to get myself a part time job at a record store though, living off the shitty pay that they gave me. It was better than nothing though.

"Gee?" I smiled as he used my old nickname.
"What?"
"Do you want to tell me why you've shown up on the doorstep at 2oclock in the morning after two-fucking-years, bleeding, freezing and stick-thin?"
"Ah Jeez, Mikey, I know that this isn't the smartest thing to do, just showing up and asking for you to forgive me and everything. I know I've messed up-"
"M-Messed up? Gerard, You lost contact from me for two years. I needed my brother to be there for me to help OUR Mom through her divorce, Dad didn't care, he never did. He never cared about you, me or anybody but yet you still run away with him. Do you realise what affect that had on Mom?! She was a fucking reck, I was only 14 Gerard! 14! I could barely look after myself and you think it's a good idea to walk out on all this!!!" He flung his arms around, indicating the room and house.
He let out a short breath and sat down next to me, tears welling up in his large hazel eyes. He nay still be the brother I remember mentally, but physically he had changed so much. I supose its normal to see that though, having me miss out on the years where change occurs the most, he was a lot taller, taller than me even. He was thin and his dark brown hair was straighened and clung to his face, emphisizing his cheek bones.

I still remained speechless after his outburst. I knew that leaving him effected him, I just didn't know that it effected him that much.
"Mikey, I-I'm s-sorry I had no i-" he held his hand out to stop me.
"No, I'm sorry"
"What? Why are you sorry? It's all my fault, everything. I fucked up my life, your life, Mom's and Dad's, though I really don't give a damn what his life turns out to be, he would be better off dead." I spat.
"What did he do to you?" He asked defensively.
When dad and I left Dad wasn't an alcohlic and didn't have any issues at all so my sudden distaste for the man that used to be my 'hero' came as quite a shock to Mikey, I could tell.
"Well, Mikey.." I started, trying to keep my voice down and having know idea how to begin.
"Yes?" He says leaning foward, desperate for answers.
"I-um. Dad went to.. a bad place.. shortly after we left.. the umm.. the same place I have been once before." I said choosing my words carefully.

A few weeks before I left Mom and Mikey I was a raging alcoholic, but I surprised myself and my Family by quitting, only to have their expressions of utter disappointment thrusted onto me once again when I left with Dad. Dad seemed to have picked up on my habit, only ten time worse than how I was. I didn't care how stressed out or paranoiid about life I can be, I will never EVER go back to that place again, The place where Gerard seemed to fade away and a new, revolting, scumming, dumbass mornon emerged from my ashes.
Thinking about m jaded times sent shivers down my spine.

"Gerard?" Mikey said, clicking his fingers infront of my face.
"Sorry Mikes. Just feeling a little out of it, can we talk about this after soon sl-"
"Nope"
"But Mikey pl-"
"Na ah, Gee, I know you. You're just going to keep putting off talking about your feelings and problems and get them all bottled up inside and expect me to forget that you're unhappy and we all continue on with life even thought somehting inside your heart has died."
"It's not like that this time, it's-"
Mikey's face told me that this wasn't an issue worth debating over because his stubborn ass won't drop it.
With a huff of breath just to let him know that I wasn't happy, I was defeated.
I looked at Mikey. I looked deep into his eyes and he stared back, I knew that I could talk to him, he is my brother and deserves to know the truth.
"Um, well you know how bad I used to be?"
"Yeah"
"Well Dad's a hell of a lot worse than I was. H-He would come home.. every night at 1oclock and would h-harass me. He didn't feed me, he didn't help me, he didn't even bother with me. It was like I was invisable to him, the only way I could tell that he knew I existed was when.." My voice broke and trailed off as I broke down, collapsing onto Mikey's shoulder.
"Gerard," He said sternly, "What did he do to you?"
I feel like I cant breathe, my choking sobs silencing every atempt to speak.
"Gerard, Talk to me"
"H-He would... h-hurt me"
Mikey pulled me back and held me by the shoulders so he could look into my eyes.
I slowly rolled up my sleves, showing the cuts and bruises that our father caused.
Mikey gasped, and took my hand in his.
"Gerard?"
"Mmm?"
"Why didn't you come back sooner? Why didn't you call me before now when this all happened? I could of gotten you, I could of saved you."
"Don't be mad at yourself Mikey" i said putting on a smile.
He pulled me into another tight embrace, we just lay there on the couch for what felt like hours. Just soaking up eachothers presence, I never realised how much I truely missed Mikey as he played with my hair and rubbed circles on my back.

After a long time Mikey spoke up.
"Why did you leave me, Gee?" He whispered.
"Because I think that the things I do are right but they always come back to bite me"
"No, I mean why did the thought of leaving even occur to you, did I do something wrong?"
"No, absoloutly not. Mikey, you're the best brother in the world and I wasn't thinking straight when i left, only realising that it was a mistake when it was too late to turn back."
"It was never too late, Gee"

I had to tell him the truth; the whole truth, it was eating me up inside...