Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Only One Flaw
Frank's POV
I shuddered from Mikey's glare as Gerard finished the song, said goodbye and ran offstage. I couldn't take this anymore; I decided then and there that after this tour I was leaving. I waved and went offstage with the others. Ray told us about the inspiration of his little dance and everyone laughed except me. I wasn't in the mood to even smile. Gerard ran past, obviously needing the toilet and I half smiled at him; he was so perfect, even if he was being silly. I followed the others to our chill room where Gerard had come from and I sat on the sofa waiting for him to get back so I could tell him I was leaving.
Twenty minutes later and he still wasn't there; something was wrong. I could just tell there was so I stood up and went to find him, ignoring the questions from the other band mates. I opened the door that led to the cubicles and was about to call out when I heard him crying. I recognized the sound I'd heard so many times before. I easily located him and kicked the door open. He looked up me in fear and shock; his make up smudged from his tears. "Gee... Wh..what happened?" I went over, wrapped my arms tightly around him and put his head on my shoulder, stroking his vibrant red hair. I didn't care that he tried to pull away because he gave up after I started stroking his hair, he almost melted in my arms and it felt amazing even though he was crying. "Gee what happened. Please tell me what's going on." I put my finger under his chin and tilted his head up to look at me. "Gee.." I whispered. I swallowed back a ball of saliva that built up in my throat as I stared into his beautiful hazel eyes. He pursed his lips slightly and I fought back the urge to kiss them.
"I.." He muttered then looked down. "Nothing." I sighed quietly at his reply. "Gerard Arthur Way.." Shivers went down my spine as I said his name. "Do not give me that crap. Grown men do not cry into their knees, huddled in a cubicle toilet, hundreds of miles away from home, if nothing is wrong." I half smiled at him, waiting for him to make one of his snidey replies. "Nothing is fucking wrong!" I winced as he shouted at me, stood up and slammed me into the wall. I stared at him as his hand held me against the side of the cubicle; tears springing to my eyes from the sudden shooting pain in my back and the look of pure hatred he was giving me. "Or maybe there is. Maybe I do have an annoying little problem." He slightly hissed his words at me and I didn't even breath. "So basically, YOU'RE my problem. So just leave me the hell alone and stay the fuck out of my life!" He made a swift exit, dropping me to the floor and then it was my turn to cry my broken little heart out inside the bathroom.
Gerard's POV
The door of the cubicle flew open and I looked up, staring right at my forbidden angel. "Gee... Wh..what happened?" Frank spoke, sadness filling his voice. I wish he didn't care about me, it would make everything so much easier. He put my head on his shoulder and held me tightly. My heart was telling me to hold him now, tell him how I felt and not let go until he said he loved me too. But that's why I went with my head and tried to pull away. The brain is in the head after all. He started stroking my hair and my heart leapt. I didn't try to pull away anymore because I didn't want to; I just kept crying. "Gee what happened. Please tell me what's going on." I screamed "I love you! That's what!" at him inside my own head. I could hear his heart beating and I cried harder because it wasn't beating for me and it never would. He tilted my head with his finger and my eyes met his perfect hazel ones. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to be holding me because he loved me, not because I was crying. Why didn't he love me?! "Gee.." He whispered my name with that sexy New Jersey accent of his and I wanted him even more.
"I.." I muttered to him. "Love you. Go on! Tell him!" I screamed at myself inside my thoughts. Like the coward I've always been I looked down. "Nothing." I finished what I was saying because he was waiting for me to tell him. "Gerard Arthur Way.." He was acting strict and with his tiny frame that just made him cuter. "Do not give me that crap. Grown men do not cry into their knees, huddled in a cubicle toilet, hundreds of miles away from home, if nothing is wrong." He continued. He was right, but what was I supposed to do? 'Oh yeah. Your right. It's just I'm madly in love with you even though I married Lyn and your married and we both have kids.' Because that would go down well.
I couldn't take it. I shouldn't be crying over a guy that doesn't even care enough to realize the truth. I shouldn't be hurting over him. If he loved me everything would be okay. I knew it wasn't his fault but I had to get away from him before I messed up, big time. If I said nothing he would just keep pushing for an answer. I had to make sure he wouldn't follow me, even if he hated me. "Nothing is fucking wrong!" I half screamed the words at him and his beautiful face fell. It crushed me to see him hurt but I'd rather he hated me than never loved me at all. I stood up and pushed his small frame into the side of the cubicle and I held him there, hissing at him slightly. "Or maybe there is. Maybe I do have an annoying little problem." I continued even though tears were springing to his eyes. "So basically, YOU'RE my problem. So just leave me the hell alone and stay the fuck out of my life!" I let go of him and left, biting my lip to stop tears flooding down my face. I did what I had to, to keep us both safe and him happy in the long run.
I couldn't face anyone and quite frankly I didn't want to. I made a swift retreat to the tourbus and the confined safety of my bunk. I locked the door behind me so I couldn't be disturbed. I pressed my face into my pillow and screamed. "Fuck!" I'd never been good at controlling emotions so I once again burst into tears as any smashable object I could find was being smashed against the wall. I didn't understand what was wrong with me. Why he couldn't and wouldn't love me. Why I'd never wake up next to his beautiful smile or hold him close to me and randomly kiss his cheek whenever I wanted. I didn't understand why I couldn't be what he wanted because without that; I didn't want to be anything.
I shuddered from Mikey's glare as Gerard finished the song, said goodbye and ran offstage. I couldn't take this anymore; I decided then and there that after this tour I was leaving. I waved and went offstage with the others. Ray told us about the inspiration of his little dance and everyone laughed except me. I wasn't in the mood to even smile. Gerard ran past, obviously needing the toilet and I half smiled at him; he was so perfect, even if he was being silly. I followed the others to our chill room where Gerard had come from and I sat on the sofa waiting for him to get back so I could tell him I was leaving.
Twenty minutes later and he still wasn't there; something was wrong. I could just tell there was so I stood up and went to find him, ignoring the questions from the other band mates. I opened the door that led to the cubicles and was about to call out when I heard him crying. I recognized the sound I'd heard so many times before. I easily located him and kicked the door open. He looked up me in fear and shock; his make up smudged from his tears. "Gee... Wh..what happened?" I went over, wrapped my arms tightly around him and put his head on my shoulder, stroking his vibrant red hair. I didn't care that he tried to pull away because he gave up after I started stroking his hair, he almost melted in my arms and it felt amazing even though he was crying. "Gee what happened. Please tell me what's going on." I put my finger under his chin and tilted his head up to look at me. "Gee.." I whispered. I swallowed back a ball of saliva that built up in my throat as I stared into his beautiful hazel eyes. He pursed his lips slightly and I fought back the urge to kiss them.
"I.." He muttered then looked down. "Nothing." I sighed quietly at his reply. "Gerard Arthur Way.." Shivers went down my spine as I said his name. "Do not give me that crap. Grown men do not cry into their knees, huddled in a cubicle toilet, hundreds of miles away from home, if nothing is wrong." I half smiled at him, waiting for him to make one of his snidey replies. "Nothing is fucking wrong!" I winced as he shouted at me, stood up and slammed me into the wall. I stared at him as his hand held me against the side of the cubicle; tears springing to my eyes from the sudden shooting pain in my back and the look of pure hatred he was giving me. "Or maybe there is. Maybe I do have an annoying little problem." He slightly hissed his words at me and I didn't even breath. "So basically, YOU'RE my problem. So just leave me the hell alone and stay the fuck out of my life!" He made a swift exit, dropping me to the floor and then it was my turn to cry my broken little heart out inside the bathroom.
Gerard's POV
The door of the cubicle flew open and I looked up, staring right at my forbidden angel. "Gee... Wh..what happened?" Frank spoke, sadness filling his voice. I wish he didn't care about me, it would make everything so much easier. He put my head on his shoulder and held me tightly. My heart was telling me to hold him now, tell him how I felt and not let go until he said he loved me too. But that's why I went with my head and tried to pull away. The brain is in the head after all. He started stroking my hair and my heart leapt. I didn't try to pull away anymore because I didn't want to; I just kept crying. "Gee what happened. Please tell me what's going on." I screamed "I love you! That's what!" at him inside my own head. I could hear his heart beating and I cried harder because it wasn't beating for me and it never would. He tilted my head with his finger and my eyes met his perfect hazel ones. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to be holding me because he loved me, not because I was crying. Why didn't he love me?! "Gee.." He whispered my name with that sexy New Jersey accent of his and I wanted him even more.
"I.." I muttered to him. "Love you. Go on! Tell him!" I screamed at myself inside my thoughts. Like the coward I've always been I looked down. "Nothing." I finished what I was saying because he was waiting for me to tell him. "Gerard Arthur Way.." He was acting strict and with his tiny frame that just made him cuter. "Do not give me that crap. Grown men do not cry into their knees, huddled in a cubicle toilet, hundreds of miles away from home, if nothing is wrong." He continued. He was right, but what was I supposed to do? 'Oh yeah. Your right. It's just I'm madly in love with you even though I married Lyn and your married and we both have kids.' Because that would go down well.
I couldn't take it. I shouldn't be crying over a guy that doesn't even care enough to realize the truth. I shouldn't be hurting over him. If he loved me everything would be okay. I knew it wasn't his fault but I had to get away from him before I messed up, big time. If I said nothing he would just keep pushing for an answer. I had to make sure he wouldn't follow me, even if he hated me. "Nothing is fucking wrong!" I half screamed the words at him and his beautiful face fell. It crushed me to see him hurt but I'd rather he hated me than never loved me at all. I stood up and pushed his small frame into the side of the cubicle and I held him there, hissing at him slightly. "Or maybe there is. Maybe I do have an annoying little problem." I continued even though tears were springing to his eyes. "So basically, YOU'RE my problem. So just leave me the hell alone and stay the fuck out of my life!" I let go of him and left, biting my lip to stop tears flooding down my face. I did what I had to, to keep us both safe and him happy in the long run.
I couldn't face anyone and quite frankly I didn't want to. I made a swift retreat to the tourbus and the confined safety of my bunk. I locked the door behind me so I couldn't be disturbed. I pressed my face into my pillow and screamed. "Fuck!" I'd never been good at controlling emotions so I once again burst into tears as any smashable object I could find was being smashed against the wall. I didn't understand what was wrong with me. Why he couldn't and wouldn't love me. Why I'd never wake up next to his beautiful smile or hold him close to me and randomly kiss his cheek whenever I wanted. I didn't understand why I couldn't be what he wanted because without that; I didn't want to be anything.
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