FicWad

Frank's POV

That was it. He hated me for god knows what and I upset him somehow. I didn't care how but if I did it by being me then what was the point. My heart was crushed beyond repair and I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the bus so I wouldn't have to face anyone. I stumbled on and stopped moving when I got outside Gerard's door. He was in there. I could hear him screaming and smashing things, shouting profanity as loud as he could. Was being around me really that bad? I sadly pressed my hand against the door and whispered "Sorry." I didn't want to be a burden anymore. To anyone; especially Gerard. I didn't want to upset him anymore or make him angry. I didn't want to have to lie to my wife that 'I loved her more than words could say' because I didn't. I loved Gerard. I loved my kids more than anything but I couldn't have them grow up with a deadbeat father.

I knocked on Gerard's door and everything went quiet. I pathetically cleared my throat. "G.. Gerard? I'm going for a shower. Do you want to use the bathroom before I do?" I waited and he didn't answer. Maybe he was imagining that he was drowning me and tears sprung to my eyes again. "No.." He eventually replied. "Thanks though." He muttered. I had no idea what I had done. Everything was fine until he kissed me onstage. Oh god, that was it! He noticed something when I kissed back. Maybe he felt that I meant it. Maybe he knew I was in love with him and he didn't like it; I disgusted him. My broken heart managed to break even more as I choked out "'Kay..." The O caught in my throat thanks to my tears.

He hated me for loving him and I couldn't change how I felt about him so I couldn't change his opinion of me. Like he would ever love me, he was the amazing Gerard Arthur Way and I was just Frank... Frank Anthony Thomas Fucking Iero. I hated myself for not being better, for not being perfect like him, or like Lindsey. She made him happy and I made him... I just made him the crying screaming mess in his bedroom. All these thoughs ran through my head as I stumbled to the bathroom and broke apart a razor. He didn't want me so I definately didn't.

I put the lid of the toilet seat down switched the shower on and sat there waiting for the water to heat up before sitting pathetically in the running water and rolling up my sleeves. "Goodbye Gerard. I love you and I'm sorry." I pressed the razor deep into my arm. My crimson love seeped out from under the sharp metal and I winced in achievement as I dragged the ending of my problems down my left arm and then the right, the water washing away the proof of my pathetic life in the process. I put my head against the wall and let the darkness envelop me in her clutches. I closed my eyes and welcomed the end.

Gerard's POV

I went silent as someone knocked on my door. No one was supposed to be here. Somebody cleared their throat and then spoke up. "G.. Gerard? I'm going for a shower. Do you want to use the bathroom before I do?" It was Frank. No. I didn't want the bathroom. I wanted him. I didn't want to use the bathroom before he showered, I wanted to shower with him. Life sucked. I pressed myself against my door, it was as close as I dared get to him then I realized I didn't reply. "No.." I paused. I don't even know why I shouted in the first place I could never be mad at him and if I was I could never stay mad. "Thanks though." I muttered weakly. Why did he have to be so perfect? "Kay." He weakly replied. He was crying. No! I didn't want him to cry. It took everything in me to fight my heart and stop myself from going out to him and taking him in my arms.

I heard his footsteps lead away from my door and I turned over, facing my wall and sliding down my door. I waited until I heard the water before sobbing my broken heart out again. I passed out from exhaustion against my door after god knows how long. I was woken by Mikey screaming and trying to smash my door in. "Gerard! Open the fucking door!! Now!! Please Gee! Don't be dead!!" The panic in his voice worried me so I stumbled to my feet as quick as I could and opened the door. "Wha- what's going on?" I started to ask as Mikey held onto me tightly and people in uniform rushed past to the bathroom. "What the- where's..." My voice trailed off as more paramedics rushed past. "Frank!!" I screamed out, breaking down into more tears. I pushed past Mikey and past the paramedics just to fall to my knees in horror. Frank. I screamed out wordlessly in unforgettable pain as my world crashed down around me. Infront of me lay Frank's unmoving corpse; his life washing away in the warmth of the shower.

I couldn't stop crying. They took him away in the ambulance and people phoned his family. Mikey drove me with them behind the ambulance as I huddled into myself, my tears never stopping. How could he do this?! How could he hurt me like this?! My world had fallen apart in the space of seconds and it was out of my hands whether it would ever be fixed. I just wanted him to be okay. I didn't care if he hated me. I needed him more than ever. He was the one I would turn to if something like this went wrong but now I had no one. I had to watch as the only person I ever truly loved with all my heart was rushed to hospital, each second that passed was another second closer to death for Frank. This was unbearable; why would he do something like this?! He promised me he would never cut again. He promised me the day I promised him..... The day I promised him he'd always have me around. He'd always have a best friend. Then the awful truth hit me. I selfishly pushed him away to protect my already broken heart and by doing that I broke his.