FicWad

“Dude, I wanna go swimming.” Ray declared randomly as we drove down random streets; his remark causing me and Bob to burst out laughing.

“Actually, thinking about it, I haven’t been swimming in years.” Bob said; sounding as if he was seriously considering it.

“Shall we go swimming next weekend?” Ray asked Bob. Bob turned to him, and nodded before they both high-fived each other. I grew cautious with every second Bob spent with his eyes off the road, but he quickly averted them back again, easing my nerves slightly.

“You up for it Max?” Bob asked, looked at me through the rear-view mirror. I contemplated it for a second, before nodding.

“Yeah, should be fun.” I agreed, causing a ‘woo’ to escape Ray, as he raised his hands above his head triumphantly.



“C’mon Cinderella.” Bob said, as he held my door open for me in a gentlemanly manner. I smiled, and got out of the car, and thanked him. I followed Ray into the house. Mikey and Gerard were sat on the sofa together watching TV. By the looks of it, they had reconciled. I smiled happily. I hated to think of them falling out. They were so close, almost like me and Dylan.

“Hey guys.” Mikey said, turning to look at us. “Have fun?” he asked me. I shot him a cheeky, childish smile, as I nodded my head. Ignoring the fact that Gerard was sitting watching TV, and hadn’t even acknowledged our presence.

“Bob bought me ice-cream.” I said with a huge grin. Mikey’s smile faded, and he looked at Bob, sadness in his eyes.

“Where’s mine?” he asked, serious sadness painted his face and dripping off his eyes.

“Umm…” Bob said, looking around the room, hands in his pockets. He brought his eyes to Mikey’s and shrugged. Mikey glared at him, before turning to me.

“Gerard has something to tell you.” he said looking at Gerard, who still faced the TV. “Don’t you Gerard?” he said sternly and pushing his brother slightly, in an attempt to gain his attention, as he glared at the side of his head. Gerard groaned, and turned to me. The wounds on his face making me wince internally.

Mikey nudged his arm, and Gerard sighed before standing up and facing me fully. I looked down at the floor. The sight of him, causing the guilt and horror at what I’d done to bubble up from the pit of my stomach, and burn my insides.

“I-” Gerard started, causing me to look up. His face held a hard, stony expression, and I was slightly taken aback, but curious about what he was about to say. His hard, brown eyes transfixed on mine, and my heart raced. I was expecting him to lash out at me as revenge, and I tensed my muscles in preparation and prepared myself for a fast reflex. I knew he still hated me. I could tell by the vibe he was mentally sending me, as well as the expression he was giving me. He didn’t hate me. He loathed me. “I’m sorry for the way I acted.” he said. It looked as if it was painful for him to say, and the words rolled off his tongue as if he’d rehearsed the sentence many times. Almost as if, he’d rehearsed it so many times, it became painful and boring to say again. I knew that Mikey had told him what to say, and I knew Gerard wasn’t willingly apologizing to me. The way he said it, and the fact that Mikey forced him to say it gave it away straight away. No denying it really. I nodded slightly, accepting his apology, even though I knew it didn’t really count. It wasn’t a meaningful apology, just words.

“I’m sorry too.” I said catching him off guard. His eyes shot to mine suddenly, confusion etched into them and his knitted eyebrows. I sighed and looked at the floor again. Maybe it’d be easier if I didn’t look at him. “I’m sorry for punching you… multiple times… in the face.” I said, bringing my eyes to his slowly. He rolled his eyes, and if he either didn’t believe I was sorry, or that he didn’t care. I guess that’s the difference between the two of us. I know when I’ve done wrong, and I’m not afraid to admit that I’m wrong and apologize. He, however, seems to be oblivious to the way he acts and how it affects others around him. You would’ve thought he’d learned his lesson by now, but obviously not. I guess he’s just not man enough to admit that he’s wrong.

I snorted, not knowing why I even bothered apologizing to him. My sincere apology obviously meant nothing to him. I guess in all honesty, it was for my own benefit. I felt as if the huge weight of guilt had been lifted off of me. I’d forgiven him, and in a sense forgiven myself for the way I acted. He however, had to deal with what he’s done, and the consequences. The wounds on his face being a constant reminder. I shook my head disbelievingly, before shooting him a glare and walking out of the room. I slammed the bedroom door, and put on one of my new CD’s, drowning out the raised voices of the four men downstairs.



“So, have you spoken to Cameron since you got back?” Dylan asked me as he was taking me home from work. I sighed and glanced at him, before turning my attention back to the view in front of me. I hadn’t spoken to Cameron since I went into the army. We wrote letters to each other, but that’s it. I never told him I was coming back. Then again, I didn’t tell anyone.
Cameron and I were never really that close. We acted like the brother and sister we were, with the arguments, whereas Dylan was my best friend, and acted more like a second father figure all rolled in one.

The emotional distance between me and Cameron worsened to physical difference when during my troubled times at the age of 18, my parents decided to move cities. At the time, Cameron had just ended his relationship with his girlfriend, and decided it would be best for him to start a fresh new life in another city. I’ve seen Cameron a few times since then, but that was the last time I ever saw my parents.

Cameron is 26 now, and as far as I know (from Dylan), he is married, but has no children. Apparently there was no one invited to the wedding. He decided it was best, and what he preferred. Honestly, I missed him, and I knew I should get in touch with him again. It’s just nerves preventing me from doing. You know when your about to go out in front hundreds of people, and you get the funny feeling in your stomach? Well magnify that by 20, and you have the feeling I had just before going into the war. But amplify it by 25, and you get the emotion of getting back in touch with a brother you haven’t spoken to in years. I had no idea what he looked like, how he is, where he is, or what he’s doing. Neither did I know how he’d react at the news of me being back. Would he be happy, or would he feel betrayed that I haven’t got in touch with him sooner?

“I take that as a no then.” Dylan sighed, knowing that I hadn’t. “You should you know? He’ll be over the moon to hear from you.” he said, turning to me quickly and slashing me a quick smile. His eyes urging me to call Cameron.

I knew I should. I had been at the top of my list of things to do, but whenever I dial the numbers, my chest constricts, I choke on my breath, and I’m no longer able to speak.

“Here we are.” Dylan sang, as he pulled up outside my house. I unbuckled my seat belt, and turned to him.

“Thank you.” I said happily with a smile. He saved me from walking home. Ok, so it’s July, and it’s not exactly cold, or dark, but still. It’s a long way to walk, and I’d rather not walk home.

“Call him. Seriously. He’ll be so excited to hear that you’re back, and you’re safe… and that you have all limbs still attached.” Dylan scolded, his eyes burning into mine, attempting to burn the command onto my eyes so that I’d never be able to escape it.



I lay on my bed, listening to the Blue October album that Ray had brought round for me to listen to. I turned my head, and looked at the piece of paper lying on my bedside table. The numbers to Cameron’s cell phone scrawled on them, begging to be dialed. My bedroom door opened, and in walked frank.

“Mail.” he said, handing me a white envelope. I looked up at him confused. I never get mail, there’s no need for me to get mail. His hazel eyes bore into mine, urging me to open it. My mind started to wonder, and I started to panic. What if it’s from the army? What if they want me to go back out? It’s funny; I always felt like I belonged there, but since I got back, everything’s changed. My life has changed. I now have friends. I have a job. I didn’t want to go back out. I couldn’t imagine what it’d do to Dylan and Billy, to have me go back out. The stress it would cause Billy. She shouldn’t be getting stressed with a new baby on the way. I promised to help her too. What will she do when Dylan’s at work? What about Ben? He’s 5, and it’s not fair to have me ripped away from him for the second time. I shook my head. I’m thinking too deep. I didn’t even know whether the letter was from the army or not. I turned the envelope over in my hands, searching for a familiar logo or sign. Nothing. I tore open the envelope curiously, and brought out the folded letter. I unfolded the letter with my trembling hands, and allowed my eyes to skim over the words printed in black ink. My heart rate increasing rapidly with each word.



Authors Note:

This chapter is dedicated to my friend Tiffany. Thanks for everything you have done, and for getting me excited and wanting to update more often. Love yaa, chicka.