Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Saviour of the Broken
GERARD'S P.O.V
I know that I should trust Frank, I know that he would understand and be there for me..
Last night he tried to take my tshirt off, panic jolted my body and awoke me from my dreamy bliss.
I didn't want anyone to see. I showed Mikey the small of my scars.. If that shocked Mikey, then my whole body would be too much to handle... for anyone.
I told Frank that we were moving to fast and for us to take it slow. I meant every word i said, Frank's new to this lifestyle and I don't want him to do anything he'll regret.
I held him tightly in my arms as we lay on my bed. With my hands wrapped around his stomach, i watched them rise and fall with ever deep breath he took. I smiled, this time a few nights ago i was in hell, now i feel myself being in a place better than heaven.
How someone the size of Frankie could and turn my world around was way past me. The teenage boy that I held before me snoozed silently, unaware of the effect and change he has made. Even though I've only known him for a matter of hours i knew that he wasnt like the rest, when i was with him it was like all our surroundings disappeared and it was just me and him, the whole world to ourselves.
He stirred in his sleep, screwing his face up and breathing a little faster than nessisairy. His look of peacefullness and happiness left his face, leaving fear and worry.
"N-No" He mumbled, rolling over so his head was hidden into my chest.
"No!" He said, louder.
"Frankie" I said lightly into his ear, atempting to wake him.
"No, Gerard, I'm sorry! Im s-sorry, please.."
"Frank." I gentally shook his and he startled awake.
Gasping for breath, he looked up to lock his eyes onto mine. Even in the state he was in, he still managed to send my mind miles away.
"Gee," He smiled softly, his mind clearing of the confused fog between reality and dreams.
"Sorry, I had to wake you."
"N-No, it's fine"
He continued to gaze into my eyes.
I slowly leaned forward and kissed his lips softly, then pulled back.
He smiled and sighed in relief and gave a happy grin.
"What are you so happy about?" I smiled and sat up and he followed suit.
"Last night really did happen," He kept his eyes firmly on mine "and my dream came to an end"
"Tell me about your dream, Frankie"
"Umm," He looked down, turning a faint colour of red "I wanted t-to kiss you but you told me that you didn't want to and didn't want to be with me anymore, a-all because i tried to kiss you and i thought it was real a-"
I cut him off from reliving his dream by pressing my lips against his. He smiled into the kiss, like he did last night. When he pulled back he looked at me, concerned.
"What?"
"A-Are we.. ya know, t-together?"
"I sure hope so Frankie" I smiled, it was so cute seeing his cheeks pinken as though he thought his question was silly. "But it's up to you"
He looked down and smiled, "Of course I do, Gee, would you think i just go around kissing strangers for nothing?" He giggled his heart-warming laugh and rested his head on my shoulder.
We stayed like that for several more minutes, both of our minds deep in thought and dragging us from the real world. My thoughts were broken when Frank couldnt contain his anymore and sat up to look in my eyes yet again.
"Gee, in my dream, you told me that you didn't want to be with me because you didn't trust me.. a-and I can't h-help believe that part.." He tailed off.
"Frank, I don't think i could ever trust someone more than the way i trust you."
"Gerard," He turned very serious "I know you're hiding something from me.."
I let out a low sigh.
"It's not that I don't trust you, Frank.."
"Well, what is it then? You don't need to be ensecure around me, Gee. I know all about your past. What... he used to do." He gritted his teeth in anger as he thought of my father.
I nodded slowly, "I know, Frank, I can trust you.."
He kept his stare into me eyes long and passionate, only lowering them for him to find the hem of my shirt, his eyes darted back up to mine once he had caught hold of the fabric. He slowly and carefully tugged it up and over my head, still not removing his eyes from mine. He threw my tshirt over the side of the bed and transfeered his eyes from mine to my reveiled chest. I tensed at his sudden movement of hand, he softly traced the long scar going from the right side, just below my collorbone to the middle of my rib cage on the left. With his other hand he gentally touched the other scars, some that would heal in a few weeks, some years, but none of them compared to the one etched across my front. That was a bad time, Dad almost left me for dead, if an elderly couple hadn't been walking past for a very early morning walk I wouldn't be alive. I had tried to run away after the first few months living wwith dad, I didn't want to run home so soon, so instead i ran to the park that was a few blocks away from my house, big mistake. He found me almost 3 hours after i had ran away, carrying a kitchen knife, the same that he had used the other night...
Frank traced ever scar, scratch and bruise on my arms, front, shouolders and back with his fingeres, sending shivers down my spine. He kept his eyes on my chest until i said his name.
"Frank?"
He looked up into my eyes, pure anger, sorrow and sympathy flooded them as he stared into my eyes.
"How could someone do this" He murmered quietly, I don't know if he was talking to me, or to himself.
He looked back at my body and I started feeling too exposed, his eyes felt like drills hacking into my body. I started to fidgit uncomfortablely, what was he thinking? Did he think i was ugly? did this effect the relationship that we had just started buliding?
I hated my Dad, he's ruined my whole life, nothing's going to be the same again for what he's done to me. I'm scarred physically and emotionally. I'll probably have to go to counciling, but that's a different problem. the only thing on my mind right now was selfconciousness. I couldn't read Frank's expression, but he hasn't left me yet so i guess that's a good sign.
Frank finally stopped touching me and stood up. I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.
"Where are you going?" I asked, sudden panic and sadness coming over me as he turned his back and took a few steps. "Please, Frank. Don't leave I-"
"Gee, Relax, i'm just getting your shirt" He said bending down to pick up the crinkled heap on the floor that lay about a few meters away from the bed i'm sitting on.
"Oh"
"Gerard, you need to stop worrying" He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a standing position. Standing on tiptoes and still having trouble to reach, he attmepted putting the shirt over my head. I bent low so he could get it on easier "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon"
He pulled my tshirt all the way down to the rim of pants.
He smiled at me, "Nothing like that is ever going to happen to you again, not if I can help it"
"Promise" I said in a childlike manor.
"Cross my heart"
The words made me simle, i know that frank probably cannot put up a good fight, but hearing him telling me that he's there for me was enough to have the warm feeling of safety crawl down my spine.
"Come on." He grabbed my hand and lead me upstairs. We walked into the kitchen and it was empty.
"What time is it?" Frank asked
"8"
"Where's Mikey and your mom?"
"they don't get up til about nine" I told him, smiling.
"an hour.."
"an hour.. to do what ever we want" I winked at him.
He turned a slight shade of pink as he smiled at me. Frank was all new to this so I wanted to take it slow, wait for him to catch up before we do too much.
Seeing Frank becoming nervous and clueless about what to do next, I took his hand and took him into the lounge.
"Movie?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Do you want to pick?"
"You can, just nothing scary."
"You won't find anything other than that in this house, im afraid. knowing Mikey, it'll all be horror" I smiled into his eyes as he pondered on the thought of watching a scary movie, pretending it was a life or death situation.
"Okay, just nothing too scary"
I smiled as I picked Dawn of the Dead off the shelf,
"This one's not even that scary" I said as I put it into the dvd player.
I was being honest, but it might have been because i've seen it so many times that i dont find it frightening anymore, but Frank thought opposite. He curled into my shoulder, like he had done with Mikey the previous night and wouldn't come out.
"Frankie," I whispered, my lips so close to his ear that it made him shiver.
"Can we turn it off, Gee? Please?"
I chuckled, "Alright"
He got up and pushed stop on the dvd player and went and sat on the window seat. The sun was up but the cool bitter frost still laced the windows and dripped icy water down to the sill. I got off the couch and walked over to where he stood looking out the window. I wrapped my hands around his waist, buring my head in his neck. Goosebumps arose down his neck and arms.
"Cold, Frankie?" I smirked.
"No.. it's just you.."
"What do i do, Frankie" I cooed
"Chills, butterflies, goosebumps, everything"
I kissed his neck, making him tense and bite his lip.
"S-See"
I laughed softly into his neck, then bit down on him, making his gasp and clamp his hands over mine around his stomach, causing me to hold him tighter.
He quickly spun around and put his hands around my neck, resting his forehead on mine.
"Gee, can you understand that I don't really want to move too fast. Im still adjusting.."
"Am I going to fast?" I asked surprised, I thought i was moving too slowly for him.
"Not really, just for future refrences"
"I won't Frank"
I bent down and kissed his lips, it was nothing major, just a long lasting peck. But I didn't mind.
I feel like nothing could mess this up.
"Oh, god, um.."
I took my lips from Frank's and we both turned to the doorframe. Mikey stood awkwardly shuffling his feet from side to side.
"Fuck, Mikey!" Frank piped up, tipping his head back in frustration and himiluation.
"Yeah man, knock maybe?" I said.
"Knock to get into my own longe? Maybe you two should keep the pda to a minimum instead."
"It's not us, just your bad timing"
"What can I do about that!?"
"Knock!!"
"No"
"Why not?"
"I told you, it's my house!"
Frank stood watching and smiling at another of Mikey and my pointless arguements. Sometimes we do it just for fun to bring back memories of when we used to do it when we were kids. The arguements never go anywhere and we're never really mad at each other.. It's just something that every siblings do.. well it's what mikey and i do anyway.
It was just that this time, Mikey seems actually angry and upset. His stubborn ass isn't giving up on our fight yet, but he's saying things that are getting out of hand..
"Frank was mine first"
"you don't own him or anything"
"neither do you"
"I never said i did, dumbass"
"Then stop acting like it."
Frank was seriously starting to get awkward now. He shoved his hands into his back pockets and bit his bottom lip, ocasionally running his hand through his head, but always keeping his head down, like he was ashamed. Ashamed in me? Or ashamed in Mikey? I did not know.
I was barely listening to Mikey anymore, just hitting him with nasty comments and words.
"I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you." He said, tears rimming his eyes. He took a quick glance at Frank who stared back sympatheticly, turned and ran up the stairs, slamming his door.
I looked at Frank.
"Umm, Sorry about that Frank"
Frank wans't listening to me, he was starring at the stairs that mikey had just escaped on.
"F-Frank?"
He didn't look at me, instead bloted up the stairs and knocked on mikey's door.
I heard it creak open and Frank muffled voice trailed down the stairs. I heard the door open wider and then slam. All further surroundings went dead silent.
I stood blankly by the window of the lounge..
Frank had left me, drowning in my own thoughts...
Helllooo(: Thank you so so much to everyone who is reading, reviewd and rated! I love you:P It would be really helpfull if you could give me some ideas on what to happen next, i have a few in my head but i'm not completely happy with them, so if you could help me out i would really appreciate it(: Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!! PLEASE KEEP UP THE R AND R's ooxoxo
I know that I should trust Frank, I know that he would understand and be there for me..
Last night he tried to take my tshirt off, panic jolted my body and awoke me from my dreamy bliss.
I didn't want anyone to see. I showed Mikey the small of my scars.. If that shocked Mikey, then my whole body would be too much to handle... for anyone.
I told Frank that we were moving to fast and for us to take it slow. I meant every word i said, Frank's new to this lifestyle and I don't want him to do anything he'll regret.
I held him tightly in my arms as we lay on my bed. With my hands wrapped around his stomach, i watched them rise and fall with ever deep breath he took. I smiled, this time a few nights ago i was in hell, now i feel myself being in a place better than heaven.
How someone the size of Frankie could and turn my world around was way past me. The teenage boy that I held before me snoozed silently, unaware of the effect and change he has made. Even though I've only known him for a matter of hours i knew that he wasnt like the rest, when i was with him it was like all our surroundings disappeared and it was just me and him, the whole world to ourselves.
He stirred in his sleep, screwing his face up and breathing a little faster than nessisairy. His look of peacefullness and happiness left his face, leaving fear and worry.
"N-No" He mumbled, rolling over so his head was hidden into my chest.
"No!" He said, louder.
"Frankie" I said lightly into his ear, atempting to wake him.
"No, Gerard, I'm sorry! Im s-sorry, please.."
"Frank." I gentally shook his and he startled awake.
Gasping for breath, he looked up to lock his eyes onto mine. Even in the state he was in, he still managed to send my mind miles away.
"Gee," He smiled softly, his mind clearing of the confused fog between reality and dreams.
"Sorry, I had to wake you."
"N-No, it's fine"
He continued to gaze into my eyes.
I slowly leaned forward and kissed his lips softly, then pulled back.
He smiled and sighed in relief and gave a happy grin.
"What are you so happy about?" I smiled and sat up and he followed suit.
"Last night really did happen," He kept his eyes firmly on mine "and my dream came to an end"
"Tell me about your dream, Frankie"
"Umm," He looked down, turning a faint colour of red "I wanted t-to kiss you but you told me that you didn't want to and didn't want to be with me anymore, a-all because i tried to kiss you and i thought it was real a-"
I cut him off from reliving his dream by pressing my lips against his. He smiled into the kiss, like he did last night. When he pulled back he looked at me, concerned.
"What?"
"A-Are we.. ya know, t-together?"
"I sure hope so Frankie" I smiled, it was so cute seeing his cheeks pinken as though he thought his question was silly. "But it's up to you"
He looked down and smiled, "Of course I do, Gee, would you think i just go around kissing strangers for nothing?" He giggled his heart-warming laugh and rested his head on my shoulder.
We stayed like that for several more minutes, both of our minds deep in thought and dragging us from the real world. My thoughts were broken when Frank couldnt contain his anymore and sat up to look in my eyes yet again.
"Gee, in my dream, you told me that you didn't want to be with me because you didn't trust me.. a-and I can't h-help believe that part.." He tailed off.
"Frank, I don't think i could ever trust someone more than the way i trust you."
"Gerard," He turned very serious "I know you're hiding something from me.."
I let out a low sigh.
"It's not that I don't trust you, Frank.."
"Well, what is it then? You don't need to be ensecure around me, Gee. I know all about your past. What... he used to do." He gritted his teeth in anger as he thought of my father.
I nodded slowly, "I know, Frank, I can trust you.."
He kept his stare into me eyes long and passionate, only lowering them for him to find the hem of my shirt, his eyes darted back up to mine once he had caught hold of the fabric. He slowly and carefully tugged it up and over my head, still not removing his eyes from mine. He threw my tshirt over the side of the bed and transfeered his eyes from mine to my reveiled chest. I tensed at his sudden movement of hand, he softly traced the long scar going from the right side, just below my collorbone to the middle of my rib cage on the left. With his other hand he gentally touched the other scars, some that would heal in a few weeks, some years, but none of them compared to the one etched across my front. That was a bad time, Dad almost left me for dead, if an elderly couple hadn't been walking past for a very early morning walk I wouldn't be alive. I had tried to run away after the first few months living wwith dad, I didn't want to run home so soon, so instead i ran to the park that was a few blocks away from my house, big mistake. He found me almost 3 hours after i had ran away, carrying a kitchen knife, the same that he had used the other night...
Frank traced ever scar, scratch and bruise on my arms, front, shouolders and back with his fingeres, sending shivers down my spine. He kept his eyes on my chest until i said his name.
"Frank?"
He looked up into my eyes, pure anger, sorrow and sympathy flooded them as he stared into my eyes.
"How could someone do this" He murmered quietly, I don't know if he was talking to me, or to himself.
He looked back at my body and I started feeling too exposed, his eyes felt like drills hacking into my body. I started to fidgit uncomfortablely, what was he thinking? Did he think i was ugly? did this effect the relationship that we had just started buliding?
I hated my Dad, he's ruined my whole life, nothing's going to be the same again for what he's done to me. I'm scarred physically and emotionally. I'll probably have to go to counciling, but that's a different problem. the only thing on my mind right now was selfconciousness. I couldn't read Frank's expression, but he hasn't left me yet so i guess that's a good sign.
Frank finally stopped touching me and stood up. I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.
"Where are you going?" I asked, sudden panic and sadness coming over me as he turned his back and took a few steps. "Please, Frank. Don't leave I-"
"Gee, Relax, i'm just getting your shirt" He said bending down to pick up the crinkled heap on the floor that lay about a few meters away from the bed i'm sitting on.
"Oh"
"Gerard, you need to stop worrying" He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a standing position. Standing on tiptoes and still having trouble to reach, he attmepted putting the shirt over my head. I bent low so he could get it on easier "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon"
He pulled my tshirt all the way down to the rim of pants.
He smiled at me, "Nothing like that is ever going to happen to you again, not if I can help it"
"Promise" I said in a childlike manor.
"Cross my heart"
The words made me simle, i know that frank probably cannot put up a good fight, but hearing him telling me that he's there for me was enough to have the warm feeling of safety crawl down my spine.
"Come on." He grabbed my hand and lead me upstairs. We walked into the kitchen and it was empty.
"What time is it?" Frank asked
"8"
"Where's Mikey and your mom?"
"they don't get up til about nine" I told him, smiling.
"an hour.."
"an hour.. to do what ever we want" I winked at him.
He turned a slight shade of pink as he smiled at me. Frank was all new to this so I wanted to take it slow, wait for him to catch up before we do too much.
Seeing Frank becoming nervous and clueless about what to do next, I took his hand and took him into the lounge.
"Movie?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Do you want to pick?"
"You can, just nothing scary."
"You won't find anything other than that in this house, im afraid. knowing Mikey, it'll all be horror" I smiled into his eyes as he pondered on the thought of watching a scary movie, pretending it was a life or death situation.
"Okay, just nothing too scary"
I smiled as I picked Dawn of the Dead off the shelf,
"This one's not even that scary" I said as I put it into the dvd player.
I was being honest, but it might have been because i've seen it so many times that i dont find it frightening anymore, but Frank thought opposite. He curled into my shoulder, like he had done with Mikey the previous night and wouldn't come out.
"Frankie," I whispered, my lips so close to his ear that it made him shiver.
"Can we turn it off, Gee? Please?"
I chuckled, "Alright"
He got up and pushed stop on the dvd player and went and sat on the window seat. The sun was up but the cool bitter frost still laced the windows and dripped icy water down to the sill. I got off the couch and walked over to where he stood looking out the window. I wrapped my hands around his waist, buring my head in his neck. Goosebumps arose down his neck and arms.
"Cold, Frankie?" I smirked.
"No.. it's just you.."
"What do i do, Frankie" I cooed
"Chills, butterflies, goosebumps, everything"
I kissed his neck, making him tense and bite his lip.
"S-See"
I laughed softly into his neck, then bit down on him, making his gasp and clamp his hands over mine around his stomach, causing me to hold him tighter.
He quickly spun around and put his hands around my neck, resting his forehead on mine.
"Gee, can you understand that I don't really want to move too fast. Im still adjusting.."
"Am I going to fast?" I asked surprised, I thought i was moving too slowly for him.
"Not really, just for future refrences"
"I won't Frank"
I bent down and kissed his lips, it was nothing major, just a long lasting peck. But I didn't mind.
I feel like nothing could mess this up.
"Oh, god, um.."
I took my lips from Frank's and we both turned to the doorframe. Mikey stood awkwardly shuffling his feet from side to side.
"Fuck, Mikey!" Frank piped up, tipping his head back in frustration and himiluation.
"Yeah man, knock maybe?" I said.
"Knock to get into my own longe? Maybe you two should keep the pda to a minimum instead."
"It's not us, just your bad timing"
"What can I do about that!?"
"Knock!!"
"No"
"Why not?"
"I told you, it's my house!"
Frank stood watching and smiling at another of Mikey and my pointless arguements. Sometimes we do it just for fun to bring back memories of when we used to do it when we were kids. The arguements never go anywhere and we're never really mad at each other.. It's just something that every siblings do.. well it's what mikey and i do anyway.
It was just that this time, Mikey seems actually angry and upset. His stubborn ass isn't giving up on our fight yet, but he's saying things that are getting out of hand..
"Frank was mine first"
"you don't own him or anything"
"neither do you"
"I never said i did, dumbass"
"Then stop acting like it."
Frank was seriously starting to get awkward now. He shoved his hands into his back pockets and bit his bottom lip, ocasionally running his hand through his head, but always keeping his head down, like he was ashamed. Ashamed in me? Or ashamed in Mikey? I did not know.
I was barely listening to Mikey anymore, just hitting him with nasty comments and words.
"I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you." He said, tears rimming his eyes. He took a quick glance at Frank who stared back sympatheticly, turned and ran up the stairs, slamming his door.
I looked at Frank.
"Umm, Sorry about that Frank"
Frank wans't listening to me, he was starring at the stairs that mikey had just escaped on.
"F-Frank?"
He didn't look at me, instead bloted up the stairs and knocked on mikey's door.
I heard it creak open and Frank muffled voice trailed down the stairs. I heard the door open wider and then slam. All further surroundings went dead silent.
I stood blankly by the window of the lounge..
Frank had left me, drowning in my own thoughts...
Helllooo(: Thank you so so much to everyone who is reading, reviewd and rated! I love you:P It would be really helpfull if you could give me some ideas on what to happen next, i have a few in my head but i'm not completely happy with them, so if you could help me out i would really appreciate it(: Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!! PLEASE KEEP UP THE R AND R's ooxoxo
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