FicWad

Firstly I would like to thank cup-full-of-blood for giving me ideas, it helped a lot(: and also to everyone who reviewd or rated(: xx


FRANK'S P.O.V

I stepped inside of Mikey's room and looked around for him. He still had his curtains down so it was a little hard to make out his tall figue leaning against the opposite wall from me.
"Mikes?"
He didn't say anything. He just slid his back down the wall so he was sitting on the floor, his knees to his chest.
I moved closer to him and he put his eyes on his knees, shielding them from my view. His back rose and fell quickly as small sobs escaped him. I sat down next to him and wrapped my arm around his waist.
I felt him lean on me and rest his head on my shoulder, consealing his eyes. I felt the shoulder he was on moisten as he wept, his arms still wrapped firmly around his knees.
"Mikey, nothing will make you lose me. No matter what happens between us."
He breathed in and out shakily.
I rested my head on his as he refused to take his head from my shoulder.
"Mikey.." I started. He shook his head, still nestled in my shoulder.
"Mikey, please.. t-talk"
He declined my request by remaining silent, nothing but short intakes of breath leaving his throat.
"T-Tell me.. what to do to make you b-better" I could feel tears prickling the corner of my eyes as i pleaded him. I hated seening him like this, he's my best friend and he can't even talk to me.

We stayed quiet for a few more minutes and I couldn't hold back anymore. I single tear rolled down my cheek, followed by more.
"I-I'm sorry" I whimpered quietly and kissed the top of his head.
He heard the instability croak in my tone and looked up from his hiding place to look deep into my eyes. His deep hazel-green eyes tunneling into mine.
He slowly shook his head, never losing contact.
"Frank," He croaked, his voice rough.
I blinked hopefully at him.
"Y-You have.. N-No idea"
"About what, M-Mikey what is it?"
He let out a long sigh.
"You have no idea how much you mean to me."
A familiar feeling rose in my chest, one that I thought only Gerard could give me...
"Fuck.." I thought in my head "This can be happeneing"
"Y-You and Gee mean so so much to me.." He continued. "Frank, i've never told anyone this but.." He looked at the celing and blinked the tears away.
I held my breath and tried to ignore the excitment bubbling up inside of me. The new found affection i now have towards my best friend was exilerating, causing me to blush uncontrolably.
"F-Frank, I'm umm.."
"Yes?" I held him tighter to me. Thoughts of Gerard popped into my head, What am I doing? about an hour ago we just comfirmed our relationship and here I was, attatched to his little brother. Dread and remorse spread through me as I thought of my selfishness and utter stupidity. I'm such a horrible person, all the way to my core.
"B-Before Gee came home.. I-I t-tried to.."
I frowned.
"What did you do Mikes?"
"Frank, I a-attempted suicide.." he faintly whispered
"YOU WHAT!?" I yelled and gripped his shoulders.
"I d-didn't know what else to do an-"
"Why didn't you tell me, Mikey I could have helped you!"
"F-Frank I'm sorry"
I shook my head, I hadn't been expecting that. Mikey never seemed unhappy or depressed.
"Why" I whispered.
"F-For not telling you and f-"
"No." I tried to keep my voice steady, speaking through gritted teeth. I was angry. At everything. I was angry at Mikey for hurting himself, mad at Gerard for leaving him.. Angry at myself for not being there for him and being so blind to not see the pain he was hiding. "Why did you do.. that?"
"I had thought a-about it heaps b-before, since i was about 13, the only thing keeping me from.. going t-through with it and getting it over with.. was G-Gerard."
I swallowed, blinking back tears as Mikey continued.
"I, I didn't want to leave him.. He was the only person making me stick around.. W-When he left, I was p-preparing to g-go through with i-it. B-But t-then I met you.." He trailed off.
My eyes widened in shock. I quickly reminded my self to breath, trying to keep my breathing a calm as possible.
"Since I m-met you, i've stopped being suicidle, only occasionly c-cutting if something really bad happens. Losing Gee really s-stuffed m-me up. But I've always had that empty feeling inside me, w-which started healing w-when Gee came home. O-Only to h-have It shreaded appart. W-When we fight.. I-it makes all those feelings come f-flooding back.. T-To feel hurt and lost. Loneliness overtaking me.. L-Like b-being kicked when y-you're down and left out in the dark.." He trailed away aggain, still looking into my eyes.
"M-Mikey.." I started, but didn't know what to say. What could I say?
"i-I wish I could tell you something to take it all away, and I won't give up till it's over, even if it takes you forever.. I-I want you to know that if you fall i'll pick you up off the ground and if you lose faith in yourself.. I-I'll give you the strength to pull through."
Mikey's soft smile pricked at the corners of his mouth.
"Y-You.. "You've got no idea.. what that means t-to me, Frank, I don't know how you do it, but you just m-make life.. bareable.."

He moved forward and rested his head against my chest and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.
I frowned to myself, he didn't say what i was expecting.. But the hope that I felt when I thought he was going to say what I wanted him to stayed in my mind, bothering me. I looked down at Mikey. I shouldn't be enjoying our closeness as much as I am right now. It was wrong. Me hoping that he was gay only proved to me that I had feelings for him, some that i probably always possesed but only realised them now.
Both my feelings towards each of the Way brothers were different.
Mikey's was a sudden eyeopening to what I had right infront of me, while Gerard's was a first sight thing.

I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts of Mikey from myself. I shouldn't waste my time. He was as staight as a board.
I should keep all my attention on Gerard because he was the one who felt the same and who i had a chance with, not my best friend.

Then Gerard shot across my mind. What was he feeling right now, it's been about an hour since I left him in the lounge.. I've probably hurt him.. I had to help Mikey though. the countless times that he had helped me was no match compared to the amount of times i helped him. I was just to oblivious to see that he needed he istead of him always giving help.

"I love you, Frank" Mikey murmerd into my chest.
A wide smile swept over my face. We had said that before, plenty of times. Only now It is different to me on so many levels, levels that Mikey couldn't even imagin.
"I love you too, Mikey.." I said holding him tighter to my body.

More than I hope he would ever know..