FicWad

Gerard:
Frank had been with us for 2 days, and I was now calm about the whole christmas thing. I knew me and Mikey would be okay and somewhere inside I hoped Frank would be around. I wasn't going to ask him, because I didn't want to imply that I wanted him to stay with us.

"Frankie.....Frankie?" he was in deep thought his eyes were vacaant, and he was shut out from the world. I wish I knew what he was thinking, I would kill to be in his head right now.

"Frank you okay?" me and Mikey were both looking at him, and it was probably making him feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah I was just wondering ifIcouldspendchristmaswithyou?" my heart skipped a few beats and a smile spread across my face. Why was I actiung so happy, he couldn't know I wanted him here. Oh fuck it.
"Yes Frank. I would fucking love that." I just sat there and looked at him. Mikey also said something, I just caught it and it was worthy enough of a middle finger as he stuck his tongue out at me.

Frank laughed and it was so gorgeous. I could listen to it all day. I'd have to make him laugh more. I needed too. I wondered if he'd stopped cutting? I couldn't think of that now.

"Right guys let's put our song together?" I had completely forgot we were in a band type thing. Nothing big just me, Mikey and Frankie playing together. It took away the stress of school and made us look forward to something at the end of the day.
"Okay 1-2-3-4." I counted us in so that they would know when to start playing. It really was beautiful. I knew the words off by heart. Frankie had helped me write this song it was ours. I wouldn't tell him though, he didn't need to know my feelings for him.

I concentrated on the song from then onwards, I needed to I had hit a lot of notes wrong. Not like anyone noticed but for grandma I had always promised to try my best. This wasn't my best now, I had to buckle down.

I got through the rest of the song near enough note perfect. We all looked at eachother with massive grins on our faces. It was amazing the pure thrill of, playing together.
"You know in a couple of years we should make a band get more people involved." I thought it was a good ides. I didn't want it to be now. We were sort of in a band now but we didn't have a name, and Mikey was too young. Me and Frank could've done it now. I wanted Mikey involved though, maybe we could once I turn 18, it wasn't that long away.

I looked at the time and realised it was late.
"C'mon guys, it's late let's sleep." Frank nodded and walked down to my room. He had a hint of something in his eye. Something I didn't like. I'd been sleeping on the couch while Frank had been in my bed. I wanted the best for him. We had argued about it time and time again but I always ended up by winning.

I waited till Mikey had said his goodnight's and had gone up to bed brfore I went down to my room. I made sure I was hidden, which wasn't particually hard. Frankie went ito my bathroom and his eyes met the razor locked on the side shit. I was froze on the spot looking at Frankie. He crushed the plastic around the razor and washed it. Then he put it to his wrist. As I saw the blood come out I tried to scream I couldn't. My voice had gone. My mouth was dry and my legs were like lead. I couldn't move I was frozen unable to help my angel. He let out a cry as he done one and I just watched. I felt sick to my stocmach. Tears pricked my eyes and before long they were falling down my cheeks. I was a monster, I could never forgive myself. He washed the razorblade and fell down on my bed. I could tell he was crying, as his whole body was shaking.

My legs finally started to move. When I didn't want them too. I wasn't sure if he was asleep and I didn't really want him to catch me like this. I was crying over him, he couldn't know that.
"Why Frankie?" I whispered and it broke me even more, because I had to come to reality of what had just happened. I sat down on the end of the bed, and I guessed he was asleep as his brething was heavy and even.
"I love you Frankie." I had to say it, even if he couldn't hear it. I leant over and stroked his fringe out of his face. He was amazing perfect. I got uo and went back upstairs. I couldn't sleep everytime I closed my eyes I saw all that blood dripping out of his wrists. He even progressed to the tops of his arms. I needed to help him, I couldn't though.

I laid on the couch till about 6 am just thinking of Frankie. I was tired and I was losing the battle with my heavy eyelids. I closed them and before I knew it I was asleep, in my dreams where Frankie didn't cut and we were a couple. A place where no one cared that we were gay. A place where happiness was all around and every one enjoyed their life. There's no such thing as a happy ending not even in fairytales, they just stopped writing the story before it was over.