FicWad

Frank's P.O.V
I hesitated as I stepped in the school. It felt like every pair of eyes was on me. Maybe I was just imagining it, but I swear I could feel the heavy stares of everyone. Had Gee told them what I done? He wouldn't would he? We were friends but after what I did. I ooked down and walked across the front yard. I kept looking from side to side, maybe I was hoping to see Mikey or Gee. My heart broke evrytime I htought his name, it was like torturing myself. Well in emotional form, I tortured myself in physical form aswell. I would never be good enough for anyone.

I had music first, Gee was in all my classes. I didn't have pansy, when I left Gee's I left her. I needed her though, she was the one thing I could take my emotions out with. It was the first day back so in music we were probably singing. We always did on the first week back, because Mr.Caroll had no lesson planned. I wonder why Gee had never sung in front of the class? I walked and waited outside my first class. I closed my eyes remembering Gee singing. How he had comforted me when I had hurt myself. A sharp pain went through my chest and I suddenly found it hard to breathe. Was I dieing? If so It was abit of a late reaction from my body. I closed my eyes and just relaxed. I remembered what it was to be like in Gee's arms. I was in heaven. Even though it was only a memory I felt safe. Like nothing could harm me. He was my protector, the person to be there if anything happened. I had to ruin it by being stupid though. I could hear footsteps coming towards me so I opened my eyes. It was a few people from my class. Not Gee though. Would he even tun up for school today.

The bell shrilled and suddenly the popular crown turned up. What a surprise Gee was at the front and holding Beth's hand! I looked away and walked into the classroom.
"Class pick up a sheet from the midde table, and stand up. Were singing today." I sighed and picked up a sheet. I was stupid why did I have to kiss him.
"Frank do you think you can play guitar?" I nodded I didn't have pansy, so I guess the schools guitars would have to do. I picked up the one that I had played up until I had gotten pansy and sat down. We were singing somebody to love by queen. Fucking great.
"Frank warm up by playing something." what did I play.
"Okay sir but me and a used to be friend wrote this so I don't think anyone will know it." I looked over at Gee and I swear he was crying. I didn't have enough time to see though because he pulled Beth into a kiss. I hated that girl.
"Well maybe you could sing it while you played it." I nodded, I wasn't great at singing but I wasn't shit.
"Okay well this song is called Drowning Lessons." Gee suddenly stopped kissing her(yes i'm going to refer to Beth as it or her) and looked at me. Okay Frank here we go. I played the intoduction calmed my nerves down and put everything into what I was singing.

"Without a sound I took her down,
and dressed in red and blue I squeezed.
Imaginary wedding gown that you can't wear infront of me"

The rest of the words came out of my mouth freely. I had written most of this song so I had memorized it by heart. Even though I had written it Gee had come up with the tune, which I had to create. I looked over at Gee and he was mouthing the words, I stopped singing and you could faintly hear Gee under his breath singing. I smiled and started again, while everyone looked at him. If he dodn't hate me before he probably most certainly did now.

I brought the song to the ned and everyone, out of politeness gave me a clap.
"Right class, time to get down to singing the actual song." I knew Somebody to love by heart. It was the first song I ever learnt. I wondered if I could play it without relating to it.
"Okay 3-2-1" I started playing and just lost myself in the music. I blocked out everything except me and the guitar. It was 'uncool' to sing so only about half the class were giving everything, but well at least the rest were singing.

We sung the song about 4 times before the bell went and we had to make our way to next class. Gee had his arm around Beth, not tightly but it was still enough for me to wish I was her. She had everything. I hoped that they wouldn't last, but Gee was 17, most relationships start lasting. I was sivving through my thoughts and I froze. I had pe next. My chest would be on show. I know I wear a top under my blouse but we had to take it off for PE. I started to panic not only did I not have my PE kit, but like I htought before my fucking chest.

I walked into the changing rooms and hung my bag up. I then walked back out and took a deep breath before knocking on the PE office doors.
"Come in." I entered and looked over at Mr.Aubin. He was nice but as soon as you forgot your kit you were in his bad books.
"What is it?"
"Well I left my bag at someones house, because I had to make a swift exit and my kit was in there."
"Who was this person?" I had to tell him, it was the only way I could ever get out of having to wear a borrowed kit. They had yellow shorts, yes yellow shorts.
"Umm Gerard Way." he laughed. All the teachers knew I was an outcast. That no one liked me so his reaction didn't surprise me.
"Well sadly I don't believe you so heres some shorts." he threw the yellow shorts at me and looked around for a shirt. I prayed to god he had one. What if he didn't I tensed. Shit. I was in trouble.
"Haha well I don't seem to have a top sorry Iero, your going bare chested. Your lucky were in the gym today." right that meant we were doing trampolining.
"Sir I can't not waer a top though, can I just wear the one I have under my uniform, i'll take it off I promise."
"No you can't just get special treatment, just because you don't like your body." I backed out of the office and walked to the changing rooms. I saw Gee, and he looked at the shorts in my hands. He suddenly hit his face with his palm. I was crying, everyone would know about my self harm now. Everyone i'd be sent to a mental place or a councellar at least.

I quickly changed into my shorts and hestitated with taking my shirt off. I wanted to scream for Gerard tell him I needed his help. I needed to be in my saviours arms. I needed that protection there right now. I cried more as I took off the top showing my lacerations to the world. I heard gasps and whispers my eyes were closed and I slid down the wall.
"I want to die" I whispered to myself. I opened my eyes and my visiomn was clouded. Everyone was staring at me though I could tell.
"Oh so Iero's a emo." Matt shouted out to the whole class. I just kept my expression blank. Where was Gee?

Gerard's P.O.V(I thought i'd treat you guys xD)
I had seen Frankie today already, in music. He had sang one of the songs we had written together and then embarassed me bystopping, while I carried on singing. I didn't care though. I loved him and missed him. I was dating Beth now though. I didn't like her not one bit, she was preppy and was just too girly. I needed her though, Frank had kissed me, but I'm sure he regretted it he did rush out after. It felt like a drug though when his lips had touched mine. I was always craving more now. Everytime I kissed Beth I thought of Frank.

Frankie walked into the changing rooms with a pair of yellow shorts in his hands. I hit my face with the palm of my hand. I was meant to have brought his PE kit in today. Shit I felt so bad. He had no top though which meant he would have to go topless, which meant it would be hard for me to not run my eyes across his body all the time.

I was in a part of the changing room where the showers used to be so I was around the corner from where Frankie was. I thanked being 'popular' for this. I didn't have to see him get changed. I bent down and heard a concession of gasps, coughs and whispers. What the fuck was going on. I looked around from the corner, and saw Frankie on the floor. His chest fuck. What had he fucking done. I ran and grabbed my phone and rang Mikey, I only ever rang him at school if it was an emergancy so he picked up right away. The jokes had started and no one could hear me.
"Mikey, Frank, Cuts, Chest, pe now." I couldn't think of a sentence I was still shocked. I had called mIkey, because I couldn't just go up to him and hold him safely in my arms. No matter how much I wanted to. Did he really regret kissing me that much? I couldn't help but think it was my fault, but there was something behind it aswell. There had to be.

"Frank." I recognised my brothers voice and when I next looked his arms were around Frankie and he was hugging back. I wanted to be Mikey so much right now. No one dared to say anything as Mikey was my brother so they just left it. I loved Frankie more then words could say. As I walked past everyone looked at me as if I had to say something.
"Emo faggot, Mikey your no better then him." They both looked at me and the rest of the class smiled and clapped me on the back. I was a sick bastard who was in love with someone he shouldn't be.