Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream
Chapter Five: Face Down.
In the weeks to come, My Chemical Romance's schedule intensified 10 fold. The release of Danger Days was just on the horizon and James was particularly handy, and proved himself as a worthy manager indeed. There was possibly the least amount of scheduling mix ups they had ever had with an album release on their hands. Yet, things were incredibly difficult. Gerard had become more and more neurotic, and seemed to be pushing people away more and more as time went on. Frank, Mikey, and Ray had each tried at least once to talk to Gerard, and each time ended in an argument and Gerard asking them to fuck off. Things became incredibly tense within the band, and no one was sure what to do. At the moment all they knew was to smile and act like nothing was wrong in the face of the public, and go back to silence once they were alone. In the rush of the current events, they hadn’t had time to do much else.
Yet Gerard continued to act stranger, and James kept taking him away at random times to do things. This was another thing that was making the band feel bitter. My Chemical Romance had always been a team – since when did only Gerard and their manager call all the shots? While in the end they had no say in whatever secrets Gerard was keeping, My Chem was pretty much their careers, and they sure as hell should have a say in what went on with that.
Gerard hadn’t understood what Frank, Mikey, and Ray had been so upset about at first. It wasn’t until the night Mikey had come to him to try and “talk” that Gerard realized they thought he was on drugs again. It hurt deeply that they would come to that conclusion. But he couldn’t very well tell them the truth. So he stayed quiet, made it clear he wanted to talk about nothing at all. What hit the hardest was the night he came to his room to see Mikey had moved all of his stuff out and into the room where Frank was staying.
~
Mikey came out of the kitchen to find James sitting in the couch of their TV room. Seemed to be waiting for Gerard to finish getting ready. He looked back into the kitchen, and saw Frank observing the same thing. Frank nodded his assurance, knowing what Mikey wanted to do. Mikey approached James.
“Hey.”, he said coldly.
James looked up from his phone to see Mikey hovering over him. “Hey there, Mikey. Looking good today.”, James replied cheerily and slid over, indicating for Mikey to sit.
Mikey and James had hardly spoke as of recently. Partly due to the hurried schedule, but mostly due to the fact that whatever interest James had had in being Mikey’s friend had seemed to all transfer to Gerard. And quite frankly, it was something that happened all too commonly. People would get acquainted with Mikey just in an effort to get to Gerard --- the star of the band. The better Way. And Mikey was more sick of it than he realized.
Mikey sat down, not really sure what to say. He decided to get right to the point. In a low voice he hissed, “James, are you giving my brother drugs?”
Unexpectedly, James started to laugh.
“What the hell would make you think that?”, James said through his chuckles.
“It was only after he started hanging out with you --- he started acting weird. And you have been taking him out for these random midnight meetings. Excuse me if I’m a little suspicious.”, Mikey raised an eyebrow.
James put a hand on Mikey’s leg. Mikey felt something inside him flutter a little.
“Dude trust me --- I would never---- I wouldn’t---“ James began to stammer a bit. “Gerard is in good hands with me. I --- “
Before James could speak any further, Gerard came in dressed in a dark attire. He was staring at the hand James had on Mikey’s leg, a look of calm anger was upon his face. Mikey immediately got up and left the room without another word.
~
“You said you wouldn’t touch him.”, Gerard growled at James. They were in a hotel just a few blocks away from Gerard’s house, sitting on the bed.
“Oh would you relax, he was just worried. I was trying to be reassuring.”, James smirked.
“Worried? About what?”, Gerard asked.
“None of your concern.”
“I’m his brother, it’s a lot more my concern that it is yours!” Gerard sneered.
“I’m sure if he wanted you to know, he would have told you.”
That shut Gerard up. Rather, he started looking like he was about to cry. James smirk grew, he knew he had won the argument.
“Come now.” James said, as he snaked an arm around Gerard’s waist, and swept his hair behind his ear. He sniffed Gerard hungrily. “Forget all about Mikey. Pretty as he is, it’s our time.”
“You can’t forget your end of our deal James.”, Gerard breathed out.
“Mmm, never.” James said before sucking into Gerard’s neck, roving his tongue over its pale skin playfully. James moved his hand down to start unbuttoning Gerard’s pants.
Gerard stared unblinkingly ahead, and held back tears as he felt the nausea returning again.
He braced himself for what he knew what was about to come, hoping it would hurt a little less tonight.
~
"Gerard, what did he do to you?”
17-year-old Gerard broke down a few more times before saying it.
“I-I was a virgin, Will….”
He said as he looked down at his lap again, his dark hair falling around his face.
“…he raped me….he fucking raped me….”
~
It was a day later and the mood could have not been any more opposite what it was the night before. All the recordings for the album were finally finished. Everyone was feeling in a celebratory mood. Even Frank had started to talk to Gerard like nothing had happened. Gerard supposed, as best friends, they couldn’t be mad at each other at a time like this. They were holding a party at James’ house, and James had gotten a huge stock of booze and alcohol just for the occasion. The music was blaring, but at barely 11 PM, James shut off the speakers momentarily to get everyone’s attention.
James found a chair and stood up on the crowd a bit clumsily, seems he was already buzzed. A few people chuckled. He raised his shot glass of Captain Morgan, and everyone followed suit.
“A toast!”, he yelled haughtily, “To the best album ever! By the best band ever!” A few cheers went around the room, before he continued. “To my good friends Mikey, Frank, Ray, and Gerard! Every fucking album, you each manage to prove how fucking amazing you are more and more! May this album be just yet ANOTHER step towards the peak of your potential, which from what I’ve observed, is still far off into the horizon! May you know no boundaries! Cheers!”
James drank down his shot amongst the applauding and cheering of others, before they drank their own drinks as well. James then allowed the music to continue, and skipped a few tracks to Ke$ha’s Tik Tok as a joke. Laughs went throughout the crowd, yet they got into it well enough.
People were dancing all around, and Gerard was politely turning down what felt like the 438th girl that night when Frank stumbled over to him.
“GeeGee!”, he exclaimed merrily before swinging an arm around him. Gerard laughed at the drunken state of his friend.
“C’mon! Let’s dance!”, Frank said, grabbing him by the arm pulling Gerard into a wider part of the room.
“Wha---?”, Gerard said confusedly. Next thing he knew he was being swept away by Frank who was doing a series of ridiculous dance moves on Gerard. Gerard found it hilarious. Everyone else did too. Gerard looked around and saw that everyone was watching them, egging them on. The showman in him came out and he played along with it, inducing plenty of catcalls and laughs. Gerard was laughing along with them as Frank straddled him. He hadn’t felt this good in a long time. He wrapped his arms around Frank and they both lost their balance, Gerard falling on top of him. They both laughed and Frank kissed Gee on the cheek.
Eventually Frank separated from Gerard and went to go get more drink. He was sobering down, and that was no good. As he passed a room, he could see Ray amongst another group of people drinking through a beer funnel. The group around him was chanting the classic “CHUG! CHUG!” chant. Frank chuckled. Ray was a pro at that. Eventually he got to the booze stash and was going through the selection when he noticed something red on his hand. He turned it around and saw his palm was covered in blood. He froze. What had he had touched that would be bleeding? Feeling strangely nervous, he refilled his glass and went back to ask Gerard about it, but he was gone.
Next chapter: Gerard goes through some drastic physical changes. Frank doesn’t understand.
In the weeks to come, My Chemical Romance's schedule intensified 10 fold. The release of Danger Days was just on the horizon and James was particularly handy, and proved himself as a worthy manager indeed. There was possibly the least amount of scheduling mix ups they had ever had with an album release on their hands. Yet, things were incredibly difficult. Gerard had become more and more neurotic, and seemed to be pushing people away more and more as time went on. Frank, Mikey, and Ray had each tried at least once to talk to Gerard, and each time ended in an argument and Gerard asking them to fuck off. Things became incredibly tense within the band, and no one was sure what to do. At the moment all they knew was to smile and act like nothing was wrong in the face of the public, and go back to silence once they were alone. In the rush of the current events, they hadn’t had time to do much else.
Yet Gerard continued to act stranger, and James kept taking him away at random times to do things. This was another thing that was making the band feel bitter. My Chemical Romance had always been a team – since when did only Gerard and their manager call all the shots? While in the end they had no say in whatever secrets Gerard was keeping, My Chem was pretty much their careers, and they sure as hell should have a say in what went on with that.
Gerard hadn’t understood what Frank, Mikey, and Ray had been so upset about at first. It wasn’t until the night Mikey had come to him to try and “talk” that Gerard realized they thought he was on drugs again. It hurt deeply that they would come to that conclusion. But he couldn’t very well tell them the truth. So he stayed quiet, made it clear he wanted to talk about nothing at all. What hit the hardest was the night he came to his room to see Mikey had moved all of his stuff out and into the room where Frank was staying.
~
Mikey came out of the kitchen to find James sitting in the couch of their TV room. Seemed to be waiting for Gerard to finish getting ready. He looked back into the kitchen, and saw Frank observing the same thing. Frank nodded his assurance, knowing what Mikey wanted to do. Mikey approached James.
“Hey.”, he said coldly.
James looked up from his phone to see Mikey hovering over him. “Hey there, Mikey. Looking good today.”, James replied cheerily and slid over, indicating for Mikey to sit.
Mikey and James had hardly spoke as of recently. Partly due to the hurried schedule, but mostly due to the fact that whatever interest James had had in being Mikey’s friend had seemed to all transfer to Gerard. And quite frankly, it was something that happened all too commonly. People would get acquainted with Mikey just in an effort to get to Gerard --- the star of the band. The better Way. And Mikey was more sick of it than he realized.
Mikey sat down, not really sure what to say. He decided to get right to the point. In a low voice he hissed, “James, are you giving my brother drugs?”
Unexpectedly, James started to laugh.
“What the hell would make you think that?”, James said through his chuckles.
“It was only after he started hanging out with you --- he started acting weird. And you have been taking him out for these random midnight meetings. Excuse me if I’m a little suspicious.”, Mikey raised an eyebrow.
James put a hand on Mikey’s leg. Mikey felt something inside him flutter a little.
“Dude trust me --- I would never---- I wouldn’t---“ James began to stammer a bit. “Gerard is in good hands with me. I --- “
Before James could speak any further, Gerard came in dressed in a dark attire. He was staring at the hand James had on Mikey’s leg, a look of calm anger was upon his face. Mikey immediately got up and left the room without another word.
~
“You said you wouldn’t touch him.”, Gerard growled at James. They were in a hotel just a few blocks away from Gerard’s house, sitting on the bed.
“Oh would you relax, he was just worried. I was trying to be reassuring.”, James smirked.
“Worried? About what?”, Gerard asked.
“None of your concern.”
“I’m his brother, it’s a lot more my concern that it is yours!” Gerard sneered.
“I’m sure if he wanted you to know, he would have told you.”
That shut Gerard up. Rather, he started looking like he was about to cry. James smirk grew, he knew he had won the argument.
“Come now.” James said, as he snaked an arm around Gerard’s waist, and swept his hair behind his ear. He sniffed Gerard hungrily. “Forget all about Mikey. Pretty as he is, it’s our time.”
“You can’t forget your end of our deal James.”, Gerard breathed out.
“Mmm, never.” James said before sucking into Gerard’s neck, roving his tongue over its pale skin playfully. James moved his hand down to start unbuttoning Gerard’s pants.
Gerard stared unblinkingly ahead, and held back tears as he felt the nausea returning again.
He braced himself for what he knew what was about to come, hoping it would hurt a little less tonight.
~
"Gerard, what did he do to you?”
17-year-old Gerard broke down a few more times before saying it.
“I-I was a virgin, Will….”
He said as he looked down at his lap again, his dark hair falling around his face.
“…he raped me….he fucking raped me….”
~
It was a day later and the mood could have not been any more opposite what it was the night before. All the recordings for the album were finally finished. Everyone was feeling in a celebratory mood. Even Frank had started to talk to Gerard like nothing had happened. Gerard supposed, as best friends, they couldn’t be mad at each other at a time like this. They were holding a party at James’ house, and James had gotten a huge stock of booze and alcohol just for the occasion. The music was blaring, but at barely 11 PM, James shut off the speakers momentarily to get everyone’s attention.
James found a chair and stood up on the crowd a bit clumsily, seems he was already buzzed. A few people chuckled. He raised his shot glass of Captain Morgan, and everyone followed suit.
“A toast!”, he yelled haughtily, “To the best album ever! By the best band ever!” A few cheers went around the room, before he continued. “To my good friends Mikey, Frank, Ray, and Gerard! Every fucking album, you each manage to prove how fucking amazing you are more and more! May this album be just yet ANOTHER step towards the peak of your potential, which from what I’ve observed, is still far off into the horizon! May you know no boundaries! Cheers!”
James drank down his shot amongst the applauding and cheering of others, before they drank their own drinks as well. James then allowed the music to continue, and skipped a few tracks to Ke$ha’s Tik Tok as a joke. Laughs went throughout the crowd, yet they got into it well enough.
People were dancing all around, and Gerard was politely turning down what felt like the 438th girl that night when Frank stumbled over to him.
“GeeGee!”, he exclaimed merrily before swinging an arm around him. Gerard laughed at the drunken state of his friend.
“C’mon! Let’s dance!”, Frank said, grabbing him by the arm pulling Gerard into a wider part of the room.
“Wha---?”, Gerard said confusedly. Next thing he knew he was being swept away by Frank who was doing a series of ridiculous dance moves on Gerard. Gerard found it hilarious. Everyone else did too. Gerard looked around and saw that everyone was watching them, egging them on. The showman in him came out and he played along with it, inducing plenty of catcalls and laughs. Gerard was laughing along with them as Frank straddled him. He hadn’t felt this good in a long time. He wrapped his arms around Frank and they both lost their balance, Gerard falling on top of him. They both laughed and Frank kissed Gee on the cheek.
Eventually Frank separated from Gerard and went to go get more drink. He was sobering down, and that was no good. As he passed a room, he could see Ray amongst another group of people drinking through a beer funnel. The group around him was chanting the classic “CHUG! CHUG!” chant. Frank chuckled. Ray was a pro at that. Eventually he got to the booze stash and was going through the selection when he noticed something red on his hand. He turned it around and saw his palm was covered in blood. He froze. What had he had touched that would be bleeding? Feeling strangely nervous, he refilled his glass and went back to ask Gerard about it, but he was gone.
Next chapter: Gerard goes through some drastic physical changes. Frank doesn’t understand.
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