Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream
A/N: Just like I did with Heaven Help Us for my last story, I’m titling this chapter after the song that inspired this story. :) Just as an FYI, it’s by the Shiny Toy Guns, not MCR. ALSO, this chapter may be on the NSFW side. Just in case.
Chapter Six: When Did This Storm Begin?
Gerard barricaded himself in the bathroom where he was hastily applying as much gauze as he could on the bleeding gash on his side. Shit, shit, shit! He fumbled nervously, his fingers covered in his own blood. Finally, the wound was securely covered and blood was no longer gushing out. He took deep calming breaths and sat down on the bathroom floor, curling himself into a ball. He was shirtless, having removed his top so it wouldn’t inconvenience him as he tried to remedy the situation. He wondered if anyone had seen. He had taken an effort to wear plenty of black lately as to avoid such a predicament. You couldn’t easily see blood through black clothing. And if anyone found out, James would kill him. And Mikey. He had said so. Gerard felt dizzy at the thought.
After he felt the panic subside, he looked down at himself. He had avoided looking at his own body as of lately, and now that he was seeing it, he remembered why. It was an extremely grotesque sight; his already ugly, misshapen form had become disfigured with scars and bruises from his nights with James. All the diet and exercise had been for nothing --- he was uglier than he had ever been.
The party was still raging outside, and he knew he only had a short amount of time before someone came looking for him, or wanted to use this bathroom. So Gerard pulled his shirt back on and decided to have a quick vomit into the toilet --- its what he knew would make him feel better. He then got up to open the door, and behind it stood an impatient, drunk seeming Mikey.
Mikey got up real close to him and then recoiled in disgust. “You smell like vomit. What were you doing in there?”
“Really Mikes? I really have to tell you what people do in bathrooms?”
“Hey, don’t sass me. You were taking awfully long time in there.” Mikey eyed Gerard over suspiciously, as though looking for a bag of cocaine sticking out somewhere.
“I was having some stomach problems. God.”, Gerard rolled his eyes and strutted away from Mikey as quickly as possible. He had felt horribly uneasy with Mikey eyeing him so intently.
~
Frank woke up suddenly. What the fuck happened? He checked the clock and it was 4:40 AM. He must have blacked out sometime during the party. He looked over and saw Mikey sound asleep on the floor next to him. Suddenly, he felt the urge to pee. Groggily, he pushed himself out of bed and tip toed out of his room.
After a trip to the bathroom he noticed Gerard’s bedroom door was slightly ajar. He remembered the blood he had found on his hand earlier. Worried about his friend, he decided to see if Gerard was awake. He walked in and suddenly it was raining. Not only outside, but inside the room as well. For some reason, Frank accepted this as a perfectly normal occurrence. The floor was flooding with water.
Frank crept over slowly to Gerard’ bedside. Gerard was laid on his back. He seemed to be in a very peaceful slumber. But as Frank came closer, he noticed something weird. There was a black spot where the white blanket covered him. Then a flash of lighting illuminated the room. And the black spot increased in size. Suddenly the blackness consumed the whole blanket, it was pouring like the rain, onto the floor. Another flash of lighting came upon them and thunder was heard looming overhead. In a moment of horror, Frank realized it was blood. Gerard’s blood. Blood was everywhere on the bed. It was pouring out of the sheets, mixing with the water of the rain. Panicking, a soaked Frank rushed to wake Gerard up. He had to, or he would drown.
“Gerard!”, he screamed, “GERARD!”
“FRANK!”, someone shouted.
Frank woke up hyperventilating. He looked over and Mikey was next to him, evidently having tried to shake him awake. Mikey was looking at him as though he were insane.
“Sorry.” Frank finally mumbled. “Bad dream.”
“Involving Gee?”
“Yeah, I um… don’t really remember the details too well.” Frank lied. For some reason, he didn’t feel all that comfortable telling Mikey what he had seen. “Go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you.”
Mikey took one last look at Frank and nodded, retreating back to his spot on the floor. Frank lay awake for a while afterwards, just staring at the ceiling. The nightmare had left quite a disturbing impression into his mind. After he was sure Mikey was asleep, and after about 40 minutes of not being able to get back to sleep, Frank decided to go check on Gerard.
He crept quietly to Gee’s room. His heart jumped when he saw that the room was slightly ajar, just like it had been in his dream. Hesitantly, he pushed it open and looked inside.
But there was no one in there.
~
Gerard was vomiting into the toilet for what felt like the 10th time that night. James was standing over him smugly. Gerard was trying his hardest to get as much out as he could, but he had only eaten so much that day. James hadn’t wanted him eating very much lately. Because he was fat. He had convinced Gerard that this wasn’t just for him, it was for the image of the band. How was Danger Days supposed to sell with a fat lead singer in the magazine covers? They were in a different hotel this time, still only a little ways from the house. That’s the good thing about living in Los Angeles. Lots of hotels around.
“Please…” Gerard gasped after he tried retching into the toilet again, “…theres nothing left to puke out…” He looked up at James with pleading eyes.
“Hmm.” James yanked Gerard violently up by his arm, pinned him against the tiled wall, and put his hand to Gerard’s throat. He sized him up and licked his lips. “Well you look fuckable enough.”
“What?”, Gerard squeaked, “But we just…”
James smirked, “I’m feeling energetic tonight.” He reached behind Gerard’s head and grabbed a handful of his hair, and pulled him painfully to the bed, ignoring his whimpers, throwing him onto the mattress.
He stripped Gerard of his clothes hurriedly, and then removed his own pants. His cock was erect and ready and he shoved it into Gerard’s unprepared mouth, having forced the bottom half of his jaw open with his hand. He thrust into his mouth, and Gee swore he could feel the corners of his lips being split open with the sheer force of it. He felt bile rising to his throat. Not really at the disgust of having James’ cock being shoved into his mouth, but he had induced vomiting so much in the past weeks that really putting much of anything in his mouth made him nauseated, and James with a rather large man. James was pushing into his mouth ruthlessly, moaning in pleasure. Gerard was hitting his James in the leg repeatedly, trying to get him to release him, if only for a moment. Finally, James pulled out and immediately, Gerard blew chunks all over the bed. James just laughed.
Not seeming to care about the vomit, James forced Gerard to turn over into it, and shoved some fingers into his entrance, moving them around inside him as to prepare him. Gerard squealed from the pain. Not being able to resist any longer, James shoved his cock into Gerard’s anus, and proceeded to fuck him. While this was always a painful process, as James never seemed fond of lubrication, it was especially painful at the moment as they had just fucked hours ago and Gerard was already incredibly sore. He screamed as James pushed into him. James smirked at the blood that was already starting to pour out from the penetration --- Gerard bled easily. James always liked that about him.
He ran his hands over Gerard’s blood covered legs, and he grabbed Gerard by the hair again, yanking him upward, and put them both into a sitting position, where Gerard was sitting on top of him. He smeared the blood his hands had picked up from his legs all over Gerard’s chest, leaving hand shaped blood prints.
“Mmmmm…” James moaned, “Look at me, I’m a vampire…” He laughed and then bit as hard is he could into Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard yelped and more blood poured out, as James reached down and played hungrily with his cock.
He threw Gerard back on the bed, this time lying on his back, his legs upward. Gerard always hated this position, as it always had him feeling like his insides were being pushed together. James reached for the pocket knife he had placed at the side of the bed. Gerard started crying out of panic. James, now seeming actually bored, went about making deep cuts into Gerard’s legs. Gerard tried not to look. Drenched his own tears, vomit, and blood, he tried to think of other things as James ripped into him with his cock and his blade. He turned his head to the side and looked outside the window. A flash of light appeared. There was a thunderstorm outside.
~
Frank woke up the next morning at about 9 AM. He had finally managed to get some sleep after that dream, but not a whole lot. He saw Mikey was still asleep. He left the room quite as he could. Deciding to go make coffee, he saw Gerard sitting at the kitchen table, coffee mug already in hand. He looked tired and gaunt --- Frank could swear he saw his cheekbones sticking out weirdly. Why hadn’t he noticed this before? He wondered what would cause Gerard to lose weight. And then he remembered --- oh right, drugs would do that to you. He sighed. Gerard looked up at him but didn’t say anything.
“Morning.” Frank said as he set about making his own mug, trying to break the awkward silence.
“Morning.” Gerard mumbled back.
“Some party last night, huh?”
Gerard chuckled, “Yeah, some party. You were fucking wasted.”
“Don’t act like you weren’t off having a good time too.”, Frank stirred in his crème and sugar, “I looked in your room, you didn’t come back till late last night.”
“What were you doing looking into my room?” Gerard questioned.
Frank mentally kicked himself. Dammit. Having made his cup of coffee, he sat down next to Gerard and sighed.
“I’m worried about you dude.”
Gerard raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t expected that.
‘You should tell him…’, Gerard’s inner voice spoke to him, ‘…he’s your best friend. He’d protect you.’
“Gerard?”, Frank prodded. Gee seemed like he had zoned out for a bit.
Gerard smiled at him, “I’m fine, Frank.”
He didn’t want to risk putting Frank in danger.
“Are you really?”, Frank went on. “After you and I danced last night, I kinda noticed there was blood on my hand. Are you bleeding anywhere Gerard?”
“No.” Gerard gave him a weird look. “I have no idea what you’d be talking about.”
“Are you sure? Because I can’t really think as to what else the source of that could have been.”
“I don’t know dude.” Gerard grinned, “You were pretty drunk. Can you really say you were sure of ANYTHING that happened last night?”
Frank eyed him suspiciously. “Alright, you have a point. But promise me that whatevers going on with you right now, if you need help, you’ll let me know?”
Gerard took another sip of his coffee.
“Sure, Frank.”
Next chapter: Gerard has more talks with Frank – but will he come clean?
Chapter Six: When Did This Storm Begin?
Gerard barricaded himself in the bathroom where he was hastily applying as much gauze as he could on the bleeding gash on his side. Shit, shit, shit! He fumbled nervously, his fingers covered in his own blood. Finally, the wound was securely covered and blood was no longer gushing out. He took deep calming breaths and sat down on the bathroom floor, curling himself into a ball. He was shirtless, having removed his top so it wouldn’t inconvenience him as he tried to remedy the situation. He wondered if anyone had seen. He had taken an effort to wear plenty of black lately as to avoid such a predicament. You couldn’t easily see blood through black clothing. And if anyone found out, James would kill him. And Mikey. He had said so. Gerard felt dizzy at the thought.
After he felt the panic subside, he looked down at himself. He had avoided looking at his own body as of lately, and now that he was seeing it, he remembered why. It was an extremely grotesque sight; his already ugly, misshapen form had become disfigured with scars and bruises from his nights with James. All the diet and exercise had been for nothing --- he was uglier than he had ever been.
The party was still raging outside, and he knew he only had a short amount of time before someone came looking for him, or wanted to use this bathroom. So Gerard pulled his shirt back on and decided to have a quick vomit into the toilet --- its what he knew would make him feel better. He then got up to open the door, and behind it stood an impatient, drunk seeming Mikey.
Mikey got up real close to him and then recoiled in disgust. “You smell like vomit. What were you doing in there?”
“Really Mikes? I really have to tell you what people do in bathrooms?”
“Hey, don’t sass me. You were taking awfully long time in there.” Mikey eyed Gerard over suspiciously, as though looking for a bag of cocaine sticking out somewhere.
“I was having some stomach problems. God.”, Gerard rolled his eyes and strutted away from Mikey as quickly as possible. He had felt horribly uneasy with Mikey eyeing him so intently.
~
Frank woke up suddenly. What the fuck happened? He checked the clock and it was 4:40 AM. He must have blacked out sometime during the party. He looked over and saw Mikey sound asleep on the floor next to him. Suddenly, he felt the urge to pee. Groggily, he pushed himself out of bed and tip toed out of his room.
After a trip to the bathroom he noticed Gerard’s bedroom door was slightly ajar. He remembered the blood he had found on his hand earlier. Worried about his friend, he decided to see if Gerard was awake. He walked in and suddenly it was raining. Not only outside, but inside the room as well. For some reason, Frank accepted this as a perfectly normal occurrence. The floor was flooding with water.
Frank crept over slowly to Gerard’ bedside. Gerard was laid on his back. He seemed to be in a very peaceful slumber. But as Frank came closer, he noticed something weird. There was a black spot where the white blanket covered him. Then a flash of lighting illuminated the room. And the black spot increased in size. Suddenly the blackness consumed the whole blanket, it was pouring like the rain, onto the floor. Another flash of lighting came upon them and thunder was heard looming overhead. In a moment of horror, Frank realized it was blood. Gerard’s blood. Blood was everywhere on the bed. It was pouring out of the sheets, mixing with the water of the rain. Panicking, a soaked Frank rushed to wake Gerard up. He had to, or he would drown.
“Gerard!”, he screamed, “GERARD!”
“FRANK!”, someone shouted.
Frank woke up hyperventilating. He looked over and Mikey was next to him, evidently having tried to shake him awake. Mikey was looking at him as though he were insane.
“Sorry.” Frank finally mumbled. “Bad dream.”
“Involving Gee?”
“Yeah, I um… don’t really remember the details too well.” Frank lied. For some reason, he didn’t feel all that comfortable telling Mikey what he had seen. “Go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you.”
Mikey took one last look at Frank and nodded, retreating back to his spot on the floor. Frank lay awake for a while afterwards, just staring at the ceiling. The nightmare had left quite a disturbing impression into his mind. After he was sure Mikey was asleep, and after about 40 minutes of not being able to get back to sleep, Frank decided to go check on Gerard.
He crept quietly to Gee’s room. His heart jumped when he saw that the room was slightly ajar, just like it had been in his dream. Hesitantly, he pushed it open and looked inside.
But there was no one in there.
~
Gerard was vomiting into the toilet for what felt like the 10th time that night. James was standing over him smugly. Gerard was trying his hardest to get as much out as he could, but he had only eaten so much that day. James hadn’t wanted him eating very much lately. Because he was fat. He had convinced Gerard that this wasn’t just for him, it was for the image of the band. How was Danger Days supposed to sell with a fat lead singer in the magazine covers? They were in a different hotel this time, still only a little ways from the house. That’s the good thing about living in Los Angeles. Lots of hotels around.
“Please…” Gerard gasped after he tried retching into the toilet again, “…theres nothing left to puke out…” He looked up at James with pleading eyes.
“Hmm.” James yanked Gerard violently up by his arm, pinned him against the tiled wall, and put his hand to Gerard’s throat. He sized him up and licked his lips. “Well you look fuckable enough.”
“What?”, Gerard squeaked, “But we just…”
James smirked, “I’m feeling energetic tonight.” He reached behind Gerard’s head and grabbed a handful of his hair, and pulled him painfully to the bed, ignoring his whimpers, throwing him onto the mattress.
He stripped Gerard of his clothes hurriedly, and then removed his own pants. His cock was erect and ready and he shoved it into Gerard’s unprepared mouth, having forced the bottom half of his jaw open with his hand. He thrust into his mouth, and Gee swore he could feel the corners of his lips being split open with the sheer force of it. He felt bile rising to his throat. Not really at the disgust of having James’ cock being shoved into his mouth, but he had induced vomiting so much in the past weeks that really putting much of anything in his mouth made him nauseated, and James with a rather large man. James was pushing into his mouth ruthlessly, moaning in pleasure. Gerard was hitting his James in the leg repeatedly, trying to get him to release him, if only for a moment. Finally, James pulled out and immediately, Gerard blew chunks all over the bed. James just laughed.
Not seeming to care about the vomit, James forced Gerard to turn over into it, and shoved some fingers into his entrance, moving them around inside him as to prepare him. Gerard squealed from the pain. Not being able to resist any longer, James shoved his cock into Gerard’s anus, and proceeded to fuck him. While this was always a painful process, as James never seemed fond of lubrication, it was especially painful at the moment as they had just fucked hours ago and Gerard was already incredibly sore. He screamed as James pushed into him. James smirked at the blood that was already starting to pour out from the penetration --- Gerard bled easily. James always liked that about him.
He ran his hands over Gerard’s blood covered legs, and he grabbed Gerard by the hair again, yanking him upward, and put them both into a sitting position, where Gerard was sitting on top of him. He smeared the blood his hands had picked up from his legs all over Gerard’s chest, leaving hand shaped blood prints.
“Mmmmm…” James moaned, “Look at me, I’m a vampire…” He laughed and then bit as hard is he could into Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard yelped and more blood poured out, as James reached down and played hungrily with his cock.
He threw Gerard back on the bed, this time lying on his back, his legs upward. Gerard always hated this position, as it always had him feeling like his insides were being pushed together. James reached for the pocket knife he had placed at the side of the bed. Gerard started crying out of panic. James, now seeming actually bored, went about making deep cuts into Gerard’s legs. Gerard tried not to look. Drenched his own tears, vomit, and blood, he tried to think of other things as James ripped into him with his cock and his blade. He turned his head to the side and looked outside the window. A flash of light appeared. There was a thunderstorm outside.
~
Frank woke up the next morning at about 9 AM. He had finally managed to get some sleep after that dream, but not a whole lot. He saw Mikey was still asleep. He left the room quite as he could. Deciding to go make coffee, he saw Gerard sitting at the kitchen table, coffee mug already in hand. He looked tired and gaunt --- Frank could swear he saw his cheekbones sticking out weirdly. Why hadn’t he noticed this before? He wondered what would cause Gerard to lose weight. And then he remembered --- oh right, drugs would do that to you. He sighed. Gerard looked up at him but didn’t say anything.
“Morning.” Frank said as he set about making his own mug, trying to break the awkward silence.
“Morning.” Gerard mumbled back.
“Some party last night, huh?”
Gerard chuckled, “Yeah, some party. You were fucking wasted.”
“Don’t act like you weren’t off having a good time too.”, Frank stirred in his crème and sugar, “I looked in your room, you didn’t come back till late last night.”
“What were you doing looking into my room?” Gerard questioned.
Frank mentally kicked himself. Dammit. Having made his cup of coffee, he sat down next to Gerard and sighed.
“I’m worried about you dude.”
Gerard raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t expected that.
‘You should tell him…’, Gerard’s inner voice spoke to him, ‘…he’s your best friend. He’d protect you.’
“Gerard?”, Frank prodded. Gee seemed like he had zoned out for a bit.
Gerard smiled at him, “I’m fine, Frank.”
He didn’t want to risk putting Frank in danger.
“Are you really?”, Frank went on. “After you and I danced last night, I kinda noticed there was blood on my hand. Are you bleeding anywhere Gerard?”
“No.” Gerard gave him a weird look. “I have no idea what you’d be talking about.”
“Are you sure? Because I can’t really think as to what else the source of that could have been.”
“I don’t know dude.” Gerard grinned, “You were pretty drunk. Can you really say you were sure of ANYTHING that happened last night?”
Frank eyed him suspiciously. “Alright, you have a point. But promise me that whatevers going on with you right now, if you need help, you’ll let me know?”
Gerard took another sip of his coffee.
“Sure, Frank.”
Next chapter: Gerard has more talks with Frank – but will he come clean?
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