FicWad

I froze and just stared at Cutler for a few moments. So it really was true. He didn't give a damn about me anymore. Well, if he didn't care about me, then I really shouldn't care about him. Unfortunately, just because you should or shouldn't do something doesn't mean you're going to do that. Meaning that deep inside, I would always love Cutler. After all, I had given birth to his child.

Knowing that nothing I said was going to do either of us any good, I took a deep breath and stumbled out of the cabin. Cutler wasn't looking at me when I shut the door. Instead, he was still staring at the wall opposite him with narrowed eyes and a look of vengeance on his face. He wasn't going to rest until he got his revenge on those bloody pirates.

Feeling angry for what Cutler had said to me, my footsteps led me straight to James' cabin. He was still sitting where I had left him with that same blank expression on his face as Cutler. Uh oh, it must be that the Dutchman caused that after you had been on the ship for a while. Hoping he was going to remember me this time, I sat on the edge of the bed and waiting.

James blinked as the bed shifted and peered up at me. A smile formed on his lips and it was obvious that he did recognize me this time. Sighing with relief, I said, "Hey James. Let's do it." James' smiled went to a confused expression. Tilting his head at me, he asked in a bewildered tone, "Huh? Let''s do what? I'm confused. Please explain."

Oh god, so maybe he was still a bit on the confused side. I held my hand out to show James the ring he had given me and said, "Get married. Remember? You asked me about it earlier." I was a bit afraid James wasn't going to remember asking me, but thankfully a big smile split over his face and he burst out, "You really do want to marry me? Your answer is yes?"

James seemed so excited. I felt bad that he was only my second choice. He never needed to know that though. Nodding, I said, "Yes, I really do want to marry you. Sorry for taking so long to think about it. I was being stupid." It was true; I had been stupid to think Cutler was going to change his mind about me overnight. That just wasn't going to happen.

"No, no, it's fine," James said, obviously very excited. "I'll prepare for our wedding right away." He jumped to his feet, but I held up a hand to stop him. I didn't want a big fancy wedding. On the contrary, I just wanted to be wedded quickly just so I could take James' last name and okay, if I'm being honest, I hoped it would hurt Cutler even just the tiniest bit.

"James, I would kind of like to get married now," I told him. Trying to come up with a reason for this, I said, "After all, we don't know how long it will be until we reach the afterlife and I want to be married to you as soon as possible." I gave James a fake smile and really hoped that he wasn't seeing through it. Luckily, he was too excited to notice.

"Sure, we can get married now," he agreed. He still started heading to the door, saying, "Let me go see if there's a priest on here or something." Priest? I froze at that comment. I was never one for religion. I didn't believe in a god and having a priest bind us together just didn't really feel right to me. I figured we could just do it ourselves. Why not?

"Can't we just do it you and me?" I asked in a wheedling voice, crossing my fingers behind my back that he would say yes. James looked a little puzzled, but went ahead and nodded, "I suppose we could." James crossed the room and sat opposite me on the bed. Looking deep into my eyes with his green ones, James asked, "Jenna Cook, do you take me, James Norrington, to be your husband?"

Looking a bit nervous, he leaned forward and whispered, "Sorry, I don't know all the other extra words." I waved his apology away and answered the question before proposing my own, "I do. James Norrington, to you take me, Jenna Cook, to me your wife?" I didn't really remember the extra words either. There was something about "in sickness and in health" in there, but I wasn't sure how it went.

"I do," James answered firmly. He leaned forward, gently pulled me to him and kissed me passionately. Our kiss deepened as I ended up on James' lap. We petted and stroked each other all over. Just when I thought it was getting rather hot in here and had started to unbutton James' coat, he gently set me away from him. Uh oh, this wasn't a good start to our marriage.

"James?" I asked, wondering why he wouldn't have sex with me. James blushed slightly and replied, "I forgot to tell you this, but we aren't suppose to join in that way. Will told me that we can't have babies while were on the Dutchman. After all, what would we do with them? We're going to the afterlife. It would seem such a shame to bring something wonderful into the world and then kill it.

Listening to James' words, I realized that he was right. Sighing, I nodded and replied, "I guess that makes sense. Hey James, how long is it going to take before I start losing my mind?" James gave me a weird look and echoed my question, "Losing your mind?" God, here was proof again that James really was losing his mind. He couldn't even remember what he had told me yesterday.

"Remember how you told me how you start to forget things about your past life after being on the Dutchman for a certain period of time?" I asked James, praying he was going to remember. James looked blank for a few minutes before his face suddenly lit up with comprehension and he replied, "Oh yes, I remember now. Well, it does take a while. Actually, never mind that. Each person is different. It could take you ten days or it could take you a year. It really depends."

That thought scared me. I decided I needed to go talk to Will. Getting up from the bed, I leaned down to kiss James once more before I said, "I'm going to ask Will how long it is until we reach the afterlife. I'll be right back, okay?" James nodded. I walked to the door and glanced over my shoulder. Fuck, James was already back in that expressionless state again.

I ran up the stairs and to the upper deck. Will wasn't hard to find. He was the only one who looked alert on the entire ship. Most everyone else looked like the walking dead. Hurrying to Will's side, I tapped his shoulder and asked, "What's going on here, Will? Why is everyone going crazy and forgetting everything? Will that happen to me too? I don't want to forget everything!"

"Whoa, slow down with the questions," Will said, turning towards me. He offered me a wry smile and said, "That's kind of what death is, Mrs. Norrington. You forget about your past life and you just sleep peacefully for eternity. It's not a bad thing. All these people here? They may look like they're sleepwalking, but their souls are resting in peace."

Something about Will's sentence caught me off guard. Raising an eyebrow, I asked him, "How did you know that?" He had called me Mrs. Norrington and I had been married for a total of five minutes. Will gave me a smile and said, "Well, I must admit that being captain of the Flying Dutchman does have some advantages although there are more disadvantages.

Will suddenly looked sad. Wondering what he was thinking about, I put a hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. Abruptly, I realized that he was probably missing Elizabeth. Giving him a small smile, I asked, "Were you able to see Lizzy before you became captain of the Flying Dutchman and had to leave her behind? I'm sure you miss her terribly."

"I do miss her a lot," Will admitted. "But yes, I was able to see her. We married and she lives on a little island with her son." Will's mouth curved into a smile at the thought of Elizabeth and his son. Blinking out of his memories, he gave me a sympathetic look and said, "I bet you miss your son a lot too. You left him behind with your parents, didn't you?"

God, how the hell did Will know all this stuff? Deciding not to ask, I just answered his question and replied, "Yes, I did. I mean, what else was I suppose to do? Mercer definitely would've hurt the baby." I didn't bother to explain about Mercer. Most likely, Will already knew all about it. His nod confirmed this belief. You know, being captain of the Dutchman seemed to be a pretty nice thing.

"So I'm going to start forgetting?" I asked Will, not sure if I really wanted the answer to that question. Giving me a sad look, Will nodded, "Unfortunately, yes, you will. I'm sorry, but that's just what happens. I have some power over some things, but I can't control your mind." Will's sentence made me sad. Every moment that pasted was making me forget more and more.

Wanting to spend that time with James, I waved to Will and said, "I'm going to go spend some time with James." Will nodded and waved back. I scurried through the crowd of blank-faced people and went to the stairs. I was running down them when I noticed someone climbing up them. That certain someone had pale skin, cerulean eyes, and full lips.

Whenever I saw Cutler, I kind of lost all sense of what I was doing. Time sort of slowed and I stared at him. Forgetting that the stairs were very slippery, I accidentally slipped and would've gone flying through the air and landed on the hard wooden deck. Before I could smash my head open, Cutler hooked his arm around my waist and stopped my fall.

I looked up at him and our eyes met, blue to blue. Cutler hesitated and for just a millisecond, I saw a glimpse of the old Cutler before he abruptly set me back on the floor. Feeling sad, I called after him, "Wait!" Cutler acted like he didn't hear me. He brushed an invisible fly off his shoulder and went to the upper deck, leaving me alone and depressed.

I was very upset at Cutler, but if he didn't want to talk to me, I couldn't force him to. That was the problem with love. It was either mutual or it wasn't. If it wasn't mutual, you basically had two options. You could just sulk about it since there was nothing you could do to make the other person like you, or you could take the other person by force.

Obviously, I would be doing the first option. I couldn't even imagine taking Cutler by force. That just wasn't working. Not sure what else to do, I went to go see James. I tried to cheer up, but I just couldn't. Cutler and I didn't have much time left. If we didn't get together soon, we never would. That meant we would go to our graves as ex-lovers and now enemies.

The next three months went by very miserably. There wasn't much to do. I mean, what exactly are you suppose to be doing when you're in the land between the living and the dead? James was losing his memory very fast now. He barely remembered that I was his wife and just yesterday he hadn't even recognized me at all. And myself? Well, I wasn't doing much better.

Already, there were big blank spaces in my memory. I would start thinking of something in my past life and then my mind would freeze and I couldn't remember anything else. The "no sex" rule was kind of driving me insane as well. Irritated, I decided to climb up to the deck. I had been feeling a bit sick lately and it had hurt me when James couldn't even remember me earlier.

I hurried up the stairs and saw Cutler leaning against the side of the ship. I started to walk over to him and then felt sick to my stomach. Feeling my knees wobble under me, I ran to the side of the ship a little ways away from Cutler and threw up all over. Making a face at the putrid taste, I turned away from the side of the ship and looked at the ground.

To my surprise, I saw someone striding over to me. Barely able to believe it, I turned my head to the right to see Cutler was looking down at me out of the corner of his eye. I couldn't decide whether or not to speak. Finally, Cutler spoke first. In a rather emotionless tone, he stated a-matter-of-factly, "I would think that since you can't even take care of one, you wouldn't want to make another."