I was so surprised that Cutler was actually speaking to me that my mind went blank and all I could do was smile at him. Well, I smiled until I thought about what he was saying. I couldn't take care of what? That made no sense. And what was I making? That was just plain confusing. Trying not to look like a starstruck lover, I asked, "Excuse me?"
"I believe you heard me just fine the first time," Cutler said, crossing his arms. He leaned against the side of the ship, staring blankly ahead of him. Oh god, there was that blank look again. Cutler and James both had it. I wonder if that look ever came into my eyes. Deciding I had more important things to worry about I asked, "What can't I take care of and what am I making?"
"If you can't remember, I don't see any reason to tell you," Cutler said, casting me a long, dark look. Still confused, I said, "That's not really fair though. You bring up a topic with me and then you refuse to tell me what you're talking about. That's just rude." I crossed my arms as well and stared at him darkly, very annoyed at the way he was acting.
Cutler hesitated, obviously deciding that he wouldn't stoop as low as to acting rude. Finally, he asked, "You do remember what you left behind when you came here, do you not?" I thought about his question and answered after a few minutes of though, "Of course. I left behind my life, my parents, Ian, the baby, and my friends. Why do you ask?"
"It seems like you should be the one to figure that out," Cutler replied in a clipped voice. "What were you doing a few minutes ago?" Thinking about that, I remembered how I had thrown up and...oh. It suddenly made sense as everything clicked together and made sense. Eyes opening wide and mouth gaping, I gasped, "I'm pregnant? Already?"
Cutler nodded, "It appears so, yes. You can give Mr. Norrington my congratulations." Cutler smirked and looked down at my belly. My mouth opened and closed for a few minutes. I couldn't believe this was happening. I had only spent one night with James and yet somehow, I had ended up pregnant! So much for any hopes of ever getting Cutler back. This was certainly the last straw for him.
"I suppose you know what happens to babies that are brought to life on the Flying Dutchman?" Cutler asked, raising an eyebrow at me. Oh shit, I remembering James saying something about how we couldn't have intercourse and babies because they would die as well. Looking down at the floor sadly, I asked, "So that's just it? They're going to die?"
Cutler shrugged, "I don't believe I'm the one you should be asking that. The matter does not concern me." With that, Cutler started walking away. I was panicking. What was I going to do? I wanted to ask Will if there was some way for me to keep the baby, but I was ashamed. I couldn't go and ask him about it...but Cutler could. An idea formed in my mind.
I ran after Cutler and stood in front of him, blocking his path. That was pretty much the only way to get his attention these days. Staring up at him, I pleaded, "Could you ask Will about it? For my sake?" Cutler gave me a what-the-fuck look and wrinkled his nose at me. Taking a step closer, he cocked his head and asked, "It's not my business. Therefore, I have no reason to ask Turner about it."
I kept my ground in front of him and pleaded, "Please, Lord Beckett? Please? I'll do anything for you." At my words, Cutler paused and I could see he was thinking about my offer. I crossed my fingers behind my back and prayed for him to say yes. Finally, he looked down at me suspiciously and asked, "Anything at all? No conditions?"
"No, nothing at all," I said in a pleading voice. Sighing, Cutler finally gave in, "Very well, but you will do whatever I ask you to from now on. I can keep you as an assistant. It is a bit of a hassle without Mr. Mercer around to take care of unpleasant tasks. Wait here." Sighing, Cutler weeded his way through the crowd and up to the helm where Will was standing.
I ducked behind a barrel so I could spy on them. Cutler approached Will and spoke. Will's eyes widened and he look puzzled. He shrugged and said a few things I couldn't hear. Meanwhile, my heart was beating excitedly. Cutler's personal assistant? How much better could it get than this? It was a great deal for me. Spending more time with Cutler certainly couldn't be a bad thing.
Cutler and Will finished their conversation. Cutler picked his way through the crowd of the walking dead people and came to stand by me. Looking bored, he reported, "Turner says that he cannot think of any way to save the babies. He says that he shall think about it and see if there is anyway to save them. But for now, you are coming with me."
Cutler motioned for me to follow him as he walked down the stairs to his cabin. I followed him excitedly, rather happy about this arrangement. Nonetheless, there was a very sad part inside of me. What of the baby? I didn't want it to just die. If only I had known that you couldn't have babies on the Dutchman or else they would die. God, this was all my fault.
Once I was in Cutler's cabin, he sent me off to do lots of different errands. I mended his clothes, fetched him food and drink (it was unnecessary now that we were dead, but it could still be done for pleasure), and did whatever else he might have in mind. The next few months passed by in this manner. I was still Cutler's assistant, James' wife, and a dead mother.
Nothing much happened out of the ordinary. James was really losing his mind now. He rarely remembered who I was. Sometimes days would go by and he wouldn't even notice me in the room with him. All he could do was stare blankly in front of him. Cutler was making better progress, but he still had his own blank moments were he would sit as if hypnotized by something.
I was probably the one making the most progress out of any of us. True, I had a few blank moments, but my brain worked quite well for the most part. I was still working as Cutler's assistant. Since James wasn't in his right mind, he never asked where I was all day. As Cutler and I spent more and more time together, he started to hate me less and tolerate me.
I was six months pregnant and standing in Cutler's cabin at the moment. Bored, Cutler was staring at a map laid out in his lap. Feeling my eyes upon him, he glanced up and said, "Good morning, Miss Norrington. Perhaps you could fetch me some water? I am rather thirsty." With that said, he glanced back down at the map and scrutinized it carefully.
My mind still as sick and twisted as usual, came up with an idea. Cutler was sure acting friendlier towards me. What if I could get him drunk when he was in one of those blank moments? Perhaps he would remember what we use to have together? It was highly unlikely, but I decided that it was certainly worth a try. I quickly slipped out of the cabin and went to fetch some sort of alcoholic drink.
Running up to the deck, I went to Will and asked, "Does all rum have the same amount of alcohol in it?" Will, who hadn't even noticed me, whirled around and gave me a wry smile, "God, you scared me half to death, Mrs. Norrington. To answer you question, no, some rum has higher alcohol levels than others. For example, the rum kept in the room adjacent to the cabins isn't as diluted as the rest of the rum. But why are you asking this? You aren't drinking rum yourself, are you?"
"No, no, I don't do that anymore," I said, turning to run off. I was already running to the stairs when Will called after me, "Jenna?" I didn't bother pausing. Instead, I just called over my shoulder, "What?" Will's voice responded, "I know what you're up to. It's not going to work, you know. You're better off just giving him water unless you want to make him angry."
Oh fuck, so somehow Will already knew my plan? Unfortunately, being captain of the Flying Dutchman meant that Will could pretty much read my mind. However, I was too far along in my plan to stop now. I needed to see what would happen if I could get Cutler drunk. I ran to the room Will had told me about and grabbed a bottle of rum. Opening it, I poured it into a glass and hid the bottle behind my back. I ran back to Cutler's room and peered inside the door to see what he was doing.
I had to wait for the perfect timing. I couldn't just go barging into his office. My plan was to wait until he got that blank look in his eyes. Luckily, it happened rather quickly. Cutler glanced up from his map and stared at the wall. His blue eyes glazed and his face cleared of any expression whatsoever. Seizing my chance, I quickly slipped through the door.
"Here's the water," I told him, handing him the glass from earlier. Without breaking out of his trance and without saying anything at all, Cutler took the rum glass from me and brought it to his lips. He drank, still looking expressionless. Part of me wanted to jump on him, but somehow I managed to restrain myself. Crossing my arms, I waited until Cutler had drank the rum.
He still had the blank expression and so I dared to speak to him again. Cautiously, I asked, "Would you like a little more?" Without speaking, Cutler merely nodded. I poured him another glass of rum. He drank it without hesitation and I ended up pouring him a third one. Afraid that a fourth one would make him pass out, I decided not to press my luck.
After sliding the rum bottle under the bed, I waited to see what Cutler would do. He was having a very hard time breaking out of his trance. I wasn't sure what to do now. Did I want him to break out of his trance or not? Biting my lip, I watched him carefully before sliding closer to him and pressing my leg up against his. Okay, I knew this was wrong, but I couldn't help it.
Cutler didn't move. He just looked like he was living in a trance. I gently pushed his body so he was facing me. Cutler didn't even seem to see me. He just sat there. My hands worked over the buttons of his coat and slipped it off. I put my hand on his side and felt the heat from his body even through his clothing. God, I wanted skin on skin contact.
Taking a deep breath I took his hands in mine. They flopped there, limp and unmoving. Knowing that he couldn't do it, I untied my dress and let it drop to my waist. I hadn't bothered with a corset this morning. They were just a hell of a lot of trouble and not worth the effort. Cutler was still unaffected. I edged a bit closer to him and wrapped a leg around his waist.
Fuck, this was bad of me. It was like doing a corpse, wasn't it? But no matter how wrong it was, I couldn't seem to help myself. My hands skimmed Cutler's sides and moved to his chest. I undid the buttons of his shirt and pushed it open so I could get to the nakedness beneath. Leaning forward, I merely pressed my head to Cutler's chest and sat there for a few minutes.
Cutler was looking blankly at something behind me. I wrapped my other leg around his waist and then couldn't help it any longer. Putting my hands on the nape of his neck, I leaned forward and pressed a hard kiss to his mouth. At first, his lips were cold and dead under mine...but what was that? I felt something soft push against my mouth. Oh god, Cutler was actually kissing me...
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