FicWad

Another chapter! :D thanks for the review ;) this one is very violent and I kinda think I over did it, but I wanted to get it all into one chapter :L ah wells, see you down below ;)

I sat on the ground, leaning on a brick wall, waiting for Gerard to walk past me when he walks home from his detention. I inhaled the smoke from my cigarette and let it dwell in my lungs before I breathed it out.
I’d been waiting for about an hour now, so Gerard should be leaving school.
I wanted to thank him and say sorry, because this was in a way my fault.
I heard crowded footsteps, hoping it was from a group of people from school leaving the detention. Which would mean Gerard would be following behind.
I stood up as a crowd of people turned the corner.
I froze. 3 boys, Ethan Smith, Ryan Anthony and Nathan Hobbs were amongst the crown of teenagers. They were all in the English lesson and, from what I could tell, were friends of Daniel Hunter. I was pretty sure that it was one of them who had hit me while I was fighting with Daniel.
Ryan would always push or shove past me whenever I would pass him. He had a problem with me for no apparent reason.
I lowered my head, not wanting to be noticed, using my fringe to hide my eyes.
“You’re a violent little Emo, aren’t you?” Fuck. My invisibility skills weren’t functioning properly at the moment.
I looked up to find that I was standing opposite Ryan, my fringe hiding one eye. He was tall and well built and one of the jocks. I looked up at Ethan and Nathan; they too were tall and well built.
I swallowed, not wanting to say anything.
“So you’ve decided not to talk?” Nathan asked, raising an eyebrow.
I looked to the side, hoping these pricks would just leave me alone.
“You know that Daniel was sent to hospital? He was loosing a lot of blood.” Ryan stated, crossing his arms, tensing his muscles, trying to scare me off. It was working.
I rolled my eyes anyway. I wasn’t going to let these guys know I was scared.
“She wouldn’t care. She looses blood all the time with her cutting.” Ethan commented, laughing at his own joke.
The rest of them laughed too, taking a step back as they did. My back stiffened. Self harm wasn’t funny and they didn’t even know I did it, so two fingers up to them.
Once they’d stopped laughing, they just looked at me.
“So you like pain, do you?” Ryan asked, while Ethan and Nathan grabbed my wrists and dragged me into an alley.
Pain was shown on my face. I tried twisting my arms out of their firm grip, but that hurt more.
“Get off me, you scum!” I shouted, twisting my arms and body.
They all laughed.
“Scum? Us? Really?” Ryan mocked and then punched me in my stomach.
That was painful. He had hit me where I already had a bruise. I went over in pain and screwed up my face.
Before I had time to recover, I felt a fist collide with the bottom of my chin, causing my head and entire body to move up and back, whacking the back of my head on the brick wall behind me.
My face screwed up in more pain as I tried to squirm out of the grip on my wrists.
“Oh sorry. Did that hurt?” Ryan mocked, placing a few fingers under my chin.
I turned my head away from him, moving away from his hand.
He snickered and his fist collided with my cheek. Then my nose. Then twice around my left eye, causing the gash above it to open and spill with blood.
“Looks like he’s messed up your pretty little face.” Nathan said, letting go off my arm and pushing me into Ethan, who grabbed both my arms and threw onto the floor. I fell face first, smacking my forehead and cheek on the pavement.
I shrieked in pain.
I then felt someone grab my shoulders, hoisting me up and forced me to the wall. I turned around so that I was facing Ryan.
“I wonder what people’s opinion of me would be after I’d been hitting a girl…” Ryan trailed off, turning to glance at Nathan and Ethan, then turned back to me. He grabbed both my wrists to hold me down. “But then again, you’re nothing like a girl. You’re a dirty little slag.”
I didn’t know how he knew that I would find that offensive, but it did. I would’ve hit him, using my feet or break free from his grip on my wrists and punch him, but I didn’t something which required little effort. I spat in his face.
Nathan and Ethan gasped.
His face scrunched up as he wiped the spit, my spit, from his face.
He looked at me in anger and rage.
His fist then collided with my nose, hard, and I smacked the back of my head against the wall.
He then punched my stomach several times, over and over again. I went over in pain, screaming.
This was painful. Very painful. I couldn’t help but think that I’ve had worse. This kept popping into my head, trying to calm my screams and shrieks down, but it wouldn’t. It was pain and it hurt, a lot.
Ryan then punched my cheek and sent me to the floor. I tasted blood from my nose and lip.
He bent down beside me. “Pull a move like that again and it won’t be my fist in your gut.” He hissed and then walked off with Nathan and Ethan.
I lay on the floor, coughing and spitting out blood.
I knew something like this would happen to me. When David told me we were moving to New Jersey, murder and rape came into my head. Bad gangs, and knife and gun crime were the main causes of murder. I wish I was back in England, ‘bullies’ there weren’t as violent.
I heard footsteps. I instantly froze. I hated being in a vulnerable position and hear footsteps.
“Shit, Stacie!” Gerard shouted, running over to me.
I sighed out in relief. Thank God it was Gerard.
I tried to sit up, Gerard helping me once he'd gotten to me.
“Who the fuck did this to you!?” he hissed.
I shook my head and spat out blood. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.” I mumbled, wiping the blood away from my mouth and nose with the back of my hand, spreading it further.
“I will fucking worry!” Gerard said, helping me to stand up.
“No, don’t.” I said, breathing out heavily form my nose to clear the blood and letting it spill to the floor. “That’s pretty nasty.” I mumbled as the blood spilled.
“Stacie, who did this?” Gerard said in a low voice. It freaked me out a bit.
I shook my head. “Don’t…I um…I’ll tell you after.” I mumbled, spitting out more blood. I wasn’t going to tell him and I'm pretty sure he knew that.
Gerard was about to protest, but I looked at him with a ‘please don’t ask me’ expression on my face.
He sighed. “Well then…come to my house so I can clean you up.” He asked, worry plastered on his face.
I nodded in agreement. As I turned to walk I felt a throbbing pain in my stomach. “Oh fuck, my tummy.” I said, hugging my stomach and bending over slightly.
Gerard turned over, concerned. “What’s wrong with it?” he put a hand on my back.
I shook my head and looked up at him. I only managed a “fuck” before scrunching my face up and breathing heavily. I coughed a few times. “I jus’ got punched ‘bout fifty times in the same spot.” I complained.
Gerard moved to my side. “Okay I’ll carry you.”
My head shot up. “No. Don’t fucking touch me.” I commanded. My eyes widened as I realized how rude I sounded and at Gerard’s concerned face. “I mean, like, don’t.” I said, confusion making its way to my face.
Gerard chuckled. “Okay I won’t.”
I stood up straight, clutching my stomach and walked with Gerard.
**
We walked up to Gerard's front door. He unlocked the door and walked in.
“Don’t worry, my parents are out, I dunno bout Mikey though.” He said, gesturing me inside.
I followed Gerard into the house. We stopped in front of stairs leading down to what I presumed was the basement.
“My room’s down there.” Gerard said, standing beside me waiting for me to walk down the dark staircase.
I looked at him and pointed down at the stairs. “Is it dark down there?” I asked, timidly.
Gerard chuckled. “Yeah, but once the lights on, it’s not dark anymore!” Gerard gasped mockingly.
I raised an eyebrow at him, and then felt pain in my left eye. “aahh.” I hissed.
Gerard chuckled, shaking his head. “Wait here, I’ll go get some ice and stuff.” He walked off into what I presumed was the kitchen.
He came back with a bag of peas and a first aid box. “Sorry, no ice, only peas, does the same job though.” Gerard said, shaking the bag of peas.
I stepped back and gestured my hand for him to go in front of me.
He rolled his eyes, smiling and walked down the stairs. I followed.
“You can sit on the bed if you want.” Gerard said, chucking the things which occupied his hands on the bed.
I sat down sheepishly. Gerard opened the first aid box and took out a cloth. He then went into his bathroom. I heard the tap.
I looked around his room. There was posters all over the walls, some of comics and drawings, and some of bands. Very good bands might I add. There was a cluttered desk on the other side of his room. It was full of half filled papers, some of writing and some of drawings.
He came back in with a damp cloth. He sat down beside me and faced me. He was about to touch my face with the damp cloth but I moved back.
He looked at me with confusion on his face.
“I’ll go wash the blood off with water first.” I said, almost giggling.
Gerard breathed out a laugh. “Whoops, yeah.”
I splashed water on my face and rinsed off my hands then came back and sat on Gerard's bed.
“Done.” I mumbled.
“Well at least your nose’s stopped bleeding.” Gerard stated.
I felt under my nose with the back of my hand and noticed there was no blood. I shrugged.
Gerard sprayed something on the damp cloth, probably antiseptic or something along those lines, and brought the cloth up to my face.
“This might sting a bit.” He mumbled.
I nodded but hissed when he gently dabbed the cloth above my eyebrow.
My pulled his hand away, frowning. “”You okay?” he questioned.
I didn’t answer him; I just stared into his beautiful eyes. They were full of concern. I smiled. He was concerned, which meant he cared. I thought I’d left everyone who cared for me.
The concern changed to humor. That’s when I realized I was smiling like an idiot. I giggled. “Yeah, I'm fine, sorry.”
Gerard smirked and carried on dabbing the cut.
He then moved to my cheek, which I noticed was grazed when he wiped it. I bit my lip against the pain, forgetting that it was cut. I hissed again at the pain.
Gerard moved his hand away, alarmed. “Sorry.”
I shook my head. “No, I bit my lip.” I reassured.
“Oh,” Gerard chuckled.
He carried on lightly wiping my cheek, cleaning it from the blood and dirt.
He then started wiping my lip. I looked everywhere apart from Gerard's face. I didn’t want to make eye contact with him because I suddenly felt awkward.
When I did look at Gerard, he was staring intently at my lip, biting his own. He slowly moved his hand away from my lip, still staring at them.
He looked into my eyes briefly, looking back at my lips. He slowly moved his head down, closer to mine. He stopped biting onto his bottom lip, slightly pouting instead.
I slowly moved back, noticing how close his head was to mine. I turned my head to the right, biting my lip. I looked at Gerard from the corner of my eye and he was looking back at me. I faced him, feeling confused. I saw hurt in his eyes. I frowned, feeling guilty. I don’t know why, but I thought he was about to kiss me. He couldn’t have tried to kiss me. He was my friend, nothing more. He couldn’t be anything more, no one ever was. No one could ever like me. I could never be loved. I can never show love, because I know no one will love me back.
He slowly brought his hand to my face, moving my fringe away from my covered eye. He attempted to tuck it behind me ear, but it was too short and some of it fell forward, but didn’t cover my eye. He smiled. I saw warmth in his eyes. His beautiful hazel eyes.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, making me jump. “Shit.” I mumbled as I reached into my pocket to get my phone out.
As I looked at my phone, noticing my hand was covered in blood and now, so was my phone. “Fuck.” I mumbled, swearing once again.
“I thought you washed your hands.” Gerard stated, concern on his face.
“Err…I did.” I said, not sure how to work my way out of questions.
I checked my phone again. I got a text. It was from David. My back stiffened as I read the text.
Come back now or don’t come back at all.
I wish I could choose the second option, but by ‘don’t come back at all.’ he means ‘if you don’t come back or think about running away I will hunt you down and it wont be pretty.’
I panicked inside. I jumped off Gerard's bed, startling him. “I’ve gotta go.” I walked to the steps leading me back upstairs. I turned around, still walking backwards, getting closer to the steps. “I’ll talk ta you on Monday – I mean Wednesday.” I turned back around.
“Can I meet you on Monday morning?” Gerard asked.
I would’ve shown a little more shock to what he just asked me, but I kept it casual, trying not to show any panic, turning around to face him, again, still walking. “Yeah, that green sho-.” I tripped on the step and fell backwards, hitting my back on a step. I let out a groan at the pain, but scrambled to my feet like nothing happened, “That green shop at the top of the road yeah?” I asked, walking up the stairs, in pain, but I needed to get home as soon as possible.
Gerard was just dumbstruck, probably at my sudden change in character. “Y-Yeah that’s fine.” He said, walking towards me. “I’ll show you out.”
“No, no, I'm fine thanks.” I said, just as I sprinted out the door.
**
I unlocked my front door as fast as I could. I knew what was coming to me. He found out I’d gotten into a fight and been internally suspended.
I slowly walked into the house, putting my jacket on the coat hanger and throwing my bag on the floor.
David came storming into the hallway.
“David!” I shrieked, bringing my hands up to my face, worried he would hit me.
“I'm your fucking step-dad! Call me David again and it wont jus be a fist which hits your face!” he shouted, his face so close to mine. His breath reeked of alcohol.
I lowered my head, cowering. “Sorry.” I mumbled.
He slapped me, sending me to the floor. He bent down beside me. “I heard you got into a fight taday. Your principal said you stabbed the boy in the face. He had ta go hospital. THEN HE ASKED ME IF AVERYTHING WAS OKAY AT HOME!” his words were calm until he said his last sentence.
I shrieked again. He was going to hit me again, harder, I just knew it.
“WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM!?” he questioned again, shouting in my ear.
“Nofink! I told them nofink!” I said, tears streaming down my face.
He yanked me up by the top of my shirt and forced me against the wall, crashing my back down on the hard brick behind me. I cried out in pain.
“Are you sure about that?” he hissed into my ear.
I quickly nodded. I didn’t want him to hit me again, but I knew he was going to. If he hit me once he would never stop. This was going to be the same.
He let go of me, letting me fall to the floor. He then picked me up, so that I was standing and punched me in the stomach. Over and over again. He was hitting me in the same stop as before. It hurt, so, so much. I screamed at the pain.
He then punched the side of my cheek, throwing me to the floor and allowing me to slide down the hallway. He stepped past me and walked into the kitchen. I heard clattering, and then he came back. I looked up at him. He had a knife.
He grabbed my wrist, yanking me up. He rolled my sleeves up, took off my wristband and looked at my wrists.
“How about I help you?” he said, as he brought the knife to my wrist. Ever so slowly, he stabbed my wrist with the knife and dragged the knife across. Blood poured out. I screamed out in pain. He was going too deep. I felt him cut along veins as blood spilling onto my arms and the floor.
I jerked my arm away. To my surprise, he let go.
“I bet that felt good. Jus like it did to your suicidal mother. I helped her do it. I helped her cut her wrists and just like you, she didn’t like it. She wasn’t grateful for me helping her and neither are you.” I said, very calmly, sending chills up and down my spine. He never spoke about my mother. “Get upstairs.” He said.
I froze. No. Not this again. I didn’t want to take anymore of this. I couldn’t survive like this.
“I said GET UPSTAIRS!” he repeated.
I shrieked and turned around. I didn’t walk. I felt drowsy. I just stood there, contemplating whether to walk out the door or go upstairs. I started swaying back and forth
Before I could move, he punched my neck, very hard. It almost stung. I shrieked at the pain, still swaying forward and backwards.
I looked down and saw blood pouring down my white t-shirt.
I finally swayed forward and didn’t stop. I fell to the floor.
That’s when everything went black.

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