Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Goodbye And Goodluck
DESOLÉ
It was late on a Friday night, after the show. Everything was rather quiet, though our little party was still raging on well into the morning. It was still raining outside. I was sitting in the back by myself watching Milo try to dance with random people and smirking at the sight. I glanced over and say Gerard doing the same thing as me. I watched discretely as Lindsey came over and tried to sit in his lap. Gerard got defensive and gently pushed her away.
“What’s your problem lately?” she said loudly. She was drunk. I used to get the same when I drank. That’s why I didn’t anymore.
“You’re drunk. You need to go back to the tour bus.” Gerard said firmly, but quietly. Lindsey scoffed and Gerard cringed as if he was holding back from yelling at her. It must’ve been hard for him to be around everybody drinking and not be able to.
“You’re not the boss of me!” Lindsey retorted. Gerard ignored her and turned away. “Psh! Fine!” Lindsey exclaimed before sauntering off somewhere else.
Gerard’s eyes met mine. At first I wanted to pretend that I hadn’t just seen that. But then I caught something in his stare, something sad and helpless. He looked like he was drowning and in desperate need of a life guard. I tried make my eyes express to him that it would be alright and that I understood. Gerard blinked and then looked away.
After that I got up and left the party immediately. I couldn’t take being in the tiny, airless room with him any longer. It would’ve suffocated me to death if I didn’t leave. I heard foot steps follow me out to the bus, but I didn’t look back. It was probably just Milo, coming to see what was wrong this time.
“Hey wait up!” I heard Gerard call from behind me. I froze, transfixed. I heard him jogging to catch up to me. I wanted to run but I was stopped in my tracks.
“Hey, are you okay? You left in one hell of a hurry.” He panted once he reached me. At first I didn’t say anything. Why did it always seem like he was trying to catch me alone?
“Oh, um yeah. I just don’t drink anymore and being around all those drunk people can get pretty old pretty fast.” I said, realizing how long I had paused.
“I didn’t know you stopped drinking.“ Gerard said, following me as I walked toward the tour bus.
“Yeah, I never really mentioned it to the press. Its kind of a private thing for me I guess.” shrugged. Truth was I was embarrassed by how much of a drunken tramp I had been when I was younger.
“Oh, that’s cool. Maybe we could hang out and have our own little sober parties.” Gerard joked. I smiled wryly in an attempt to be friendly. We were both standing awkwardly outside the tour bus and I was waiting for him to let me go so I could head inside. In away this reminded me of our first date…
“Are things with you and Lindsey okay? You seemed pretty upset at the party.” I said, scratching the back of my head. Gerard sighed, but then faked a smile.
“Yeah, things are uh, great.” he was lying through his teeth. He had always been a bad liar. I pretended not to notice even though he probably figured out that I knew.
“That’s good.” I said, glancing from my hands to my shoes and the back to Gerard. “Well, its pretty late and I’m really tired. I think I’ll just go to bed, kay?” I said after a long awkward pause.
“Okay, see you tomorrow.” Gerard said as I opened the door. He lingered for a few more seconds.
“Do you need something?” I asked quietly. Gerard started as if he had just been woken up and blinked at me a few times.
“Oh, no.” he said before turning on his heel and leaving. I didn’t wait to watch him go before closing the door.
A/N
Sorry for such a short chapter, the next one is really long, steamy, and has a crazy twist. ;)
It was late on a Friday night, after the show. Everything was rather quiet, though our little party was still raging on well into the morning. It was still raining outside. I was sitting in the back by myself watching Milo try to dance with random people and smirking at the sight. I glanced over and say Gerard doing the same thing as me. I watched discretely as Lindsey came over and tried to sit in his lap. Gerard got defensive and gently pushed her away.
“What’s your problem lately?” she said loudly. She was drunk. I used to get the same when I drank. That’s why I didn’t anymore.
“You’re drunk. You need to go back to the tour bus.” Gerard said firmly, but quietly. Lindsey scoffed and Gerard cringed as if he was holding back from yelling at her. It must’ve been hard for him to be around everybody drinking and not be able to.
“You’re not the boss of me!” Lindsey retorted. Gerard ignored her and turned away. “Psh! Fine!” Lindsey exclaimed before sauntering off somewhere else.
Gerard’s eyes met mine. At first I wanted to pretend that I hadn’t just seen that. But then I caught something in his stare, something sad and helpless. He looked like he was drowning and in desperate need of a life guard. I tried make my eyes express to him that it would be alright and that I understood. Gerard blinked and then looked away.
After that I got up and left the party immediately. I couldn’t take being in the tiny, airless room with him any longer. It would’ve suffocated me to death if I didn’t leave. I heard foot steps follow me out to the bus, but I didn’t look back. It was probably just Milo, coming to see what was wrong this time.
“Hey wait up!” I heard Gerard call from behind me. I froze, transfixed. I heard him jogging to catch up to me. I wanted to run but I was stopped in my tracks.
“Hey, are you okay? You left in one hell of a hurry.” He panted once he reached me. At first I didn’t say anything. Why did it always seem like he was trying to catch me alone?
“Oh, um yeah. I just don’t drink anymore and being around all those drunk people can get pretty old pretty fast.” I said, realizing how long I had paused.
“I didn’t know you stopped drinking.“ Gerard said, following me as I walked toward the tour bus.
“Yeah, I never really mentioned it to the press. Its kind of a private thing for me I guess.” shrugged. Truth was I was embarrassed by how much of a drunken tramp I had been when I was younger.
“Oh, that’s cool. Maybe we could hang out and have our own little sober parties.” Gerard joked. I smiled wryly in an attempt to be friendly. We were both standing awkwardly outside the tour bus and I was waiting for him to let me go so I could head inside. In away this reminded me of our first date…
“Are things with you and Lindsey okay? You seemed pretty upset at the party.” I said, scratching the back of my head. Gerard sighed, but then faked a smile.
“Yeah, things are uh, great.” he was lying through his teeth. He had always been a bad liar. I pretended not to notice even though he probably figured out that I knew.
“That’s good.” I said, glancing from my hands to my shoes and the back to Gerard. “Well, its pretty late and I’m really tired. I think I’ll just go to bed, kay?” I said after a long awkward pause.
“Okay, see you tomorrow.” Gerard said as I opened the door. He lingered for a few more seconds.
“Do you need something?” I asked quietly. Gerard started as if he had just been woken up and blinked at me a few times.
“Oh, no.” he said before turning on his heel and leaving. I didn’t wait to watch him go before closing the door.
A/N
Sorry for such a short chapter, the next one is really long, steamy, and has a crazy twist. ;)
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