FicWad

FRANK'S P.O.V

He lips pressed against mine. Shock hit me hard at first, then happiness. Mikey's mouth was latched onto mine, slowly moving in sync with my own. He had the familiar taste of coffee that flavoured his lips. His arms clung limply to my back, like he wasn't too concerned that I might pull away. I moved my hands to rest on his hips, our lips staying firmly connected, slowly moving against each other. But something was wrong..
My eyes bolted open and I gasped into his mouth.. He didn't notice, only continued. I stepped back. Mikey only starred at me. This wasn't right, but deep down it felt right. Mikey frowned. I wanted to be sick. Thats when Gerard spoke. "F-Frankie?..."

I bolted upright, looking around quickly. A dim light from the moon barely lit the room which belonged to Gerard.
I was still panicking, My breaths being quick and sharp. I swallowed, my throat was so dry. The bed was damp from cold sweat.
I felt my breathing get steady, Was it all just a dream? The whole thing?
I got out of Gerard's bed and climbed his stairs. I entered the kitchen, smelling the bitter-sweet smell of coffee. Gerard sat at the kitchen bench, his elbows resting on the bench, his hands covering his face. I stood next to him.
"Gee?"
He jumped and gasped.
"Fuck! Frankie you scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry."
"How are you?"
I shrugged. Confused, worried, scared, helpless "Fine" I lied.
Gerard's eyes narrowed, he always knew when I wasn't telling the truth.
"Where's Mikey?"
"In bed, do you know what's wrong with him?"
.. Maybe it wasn't a dream. Fuck.
"Umm.. No, he's been upset ever since.. the grave yard.."
I realised now that he wasn't trying to just hug me.. As if my life could get anymore fucked.
"I'm sick of all this shit" He buried his face in his palms again, making his words muffled.
"Me too, Gee"
"I mean, how are we all supposed to handle everything? Mom's barely around, she keeps needing to take longer hours." He groaned.
"It'll all work out, Gee. Just let it go, Let your troubles fall behind you. It's the heart that really matters in the end."
He looked up and smiled at me.
"You make everything better, Frankie."
Lies. I've ruined everything, I've even managed to form a gap between two brothers who once shared an unbreakable bond. I don't make everything better, all I can do is make myself or others be trampled with regret and anger. I do no one no good.


Gee and I stayed up that night. We stayed in the kitchen, me sitting on the counter and him sitting on the little stools that surrounded the kitchen bench. We talked. I found it hard to not tell him about mikey, but i don't think that I should. Unless I wanted him to hate me, unless i wanted him to think of me as scum. We talked about school, movies, music, friends, even at one point we talked about Gerard's old problems, like when he was addicted to drugs and alcohol. That, I could tell, was very hard for Gee to talk about. He was so ashamed and full of remorse. I told him that no matter what his past was like, nothing could ever make me think less of him. We talked about mikey too, though it made me feel a little uncomfortable. We talked about how Mikey and I met, making Gee laugh, about how Mikey and Gee used to spend so much time together before gee ran off, about how much he missed him, about how happy he was when he came home. Gee loved and cared for Mikey so much. But speaking of Mikey made the atmosphere seem sad. We both knew that Mikey was incredibly upset right now, one of us knew why, neither of us knew what to do.

We were both feeling so lost. The future was frightening. I didn't want to think about it. What will it be like when Mikey wakes up? These twists and turns of fate seemed to be laughing in my face, mocking me.

Life... It's something unpredictable. But youve got to see what tomorrow brings. Which means you cannot give in. In the end everything will be what its meant to be. I didn't know if this was the same for everyone, or just the lucky. Lately my life hasnt been too full of good luck.. I remind myself about that light at the end of every tunnel. For what its worth it's worth all the while..

Gerard fell asleep at the table. It had gone quiet for a while before I realised that he had drifted off. I smiled, His face was hidden beneith his hands which rested on the back of his neck.

I heard keys enter the lock of the front door and it creaked open. Gerard's Mom walked through the door, she jumped a little when she saw me and gee.
"Frank?"
"Sorry, Ms Way, if I scared you"
"No It's fine sweetie. Why are you down here with Gerard, shouldn't you be up with Mikey?"
"Um yeah, I just came to get a drink and found Gee sleeping here." I lied. I don't even know if Ms Way knew that Gee was gay or not.
She raised her eye brows. "I'm going to bed, does your mom know you're here"
"Yes" I think.
"Okay, well, sleep well."
"You too Ms Way, good night."
"Donna."
"Right, Donna, Sorry." She smiled and left. Gee stirred in his sleep.
"What? He mumbled "Are you talking to me, Frankie?" He slowly rose his head.
"Sorry for waking you, I was talking to your mom."
Gee looked over at the clock. "You have to go to school in 4 hours Frankie."
I sighed, "I know"
"Come on, lets get some sleep." He took my hand and lead me down to his bedroom and I fell asleep in his arms again. It was the best way to sleep, with a garenteed good sleep.

But that's just what Gee can do to me.

Gee is capable of so much and he is completly unaware. He can make butterflies and goosebumps rise by a single look.

Now, I had Gerard on the line. If he found out about Mikey and I kissing then.. Then nothing would be worth living for. Mikey would stop talking to me too. I'm not even sure if mikey and I are speaking right now. I dont know if he's angry at me or anything!

I never knew that one action or feeling could turn ones world upside down. I was worried. More than I ever had been. What would become of me if I lose both Gee and Mikey? The possiblity of losing one was terrifying enough!

I heard footsteps above me.. I had been thinking for about two hours, time's falling away before my eyes.
Mikey was up.. I hhave no idea what the day ahead of me holds. I don't know if i want to know. I can stay here all day, tempting as it was. I couldnt hide from Mikey, maybe now was the best time to comfront him, while Gee was asleep.

Scavening all the courage I had left, I took a large intake if breath before exiting Gerards bedroom, leaving to face the unpredictable..

Sorry if this one isn't very good, I'll try write longer tomorrow(: Thank you so much to everyone who rated and reviewed, I got a green chapter! And am so so happy, it completely made my day! Thanks so much for reading! xx