Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Faithfully I'm Still Yours
Two hours after the audition started, it was over. Gilby sank down into a chair, fingers aching, while Slash, Axl, Duff, Matt, and Dizzy went into a separate room to discuss the outcome.
"His playing blended with yours," said Axl to Slash. "And he seems like a cool guy."
"I liked him," said Duff. "I like his style. He sounds kind of like Izzy."
Axl's eyes went dark, but only for a few seconds. "Only kind of," he muttered, and Slash and Duff exchanged glances.
"He's cool," said Matt, and Dizzy nodded in agreement.
"So he's in then?" asked Slash, and everyone nodded.
As Slash went back into the main room to tell Gilby the news, Axl leaned against the wall, head down, hand in his pocket. He sighed; there wasn't anything wrong with Gilby, but...he wasn't Izzy. His playing was different, not quite blended perfectly with Slash's, not quite on time with Matt's drumming and Dizzy's keyboarding, not quite in the harsh rhythm of Duff's bass playing. Still...
No one can ever be Izzy's exact replica. We'll just have to take what we can get, and what we can get is Gilby Clarke. I guess he'll be okay.
But, as Axl walked into the studio to smile and greet Gilby and welcome him into the Guns N' Roses family, he thought that there wasn't really any way things would be the same, ever again, now that Izzy Stradlin was gone.
~~~
When they returned to the hotel, Axl went straight up to his room and was surprised to find Laurie sitting on their bed, looking slightly tearful. He walked over and sat next to her, putting his arm around her shoulder, pressing his nose against her neck in a gesture of tenderness which surprised both of them in its rareness. It was as if they were both twenty-three again, living in 1985 in that dirty apartment building on the outskirts of Los Angeles.
"Hey, honey, are you okay?" he asked softly. "I haven't seen you look this depressed since--" He hesitated, not wanting to bring up the past-- "in a long, long time."
"I'm fine," whispered Laurie, sniffing, wiping her eyes and looking up to smile faintly at him. "How'd the audition go?"
"It was fine. Gilby's hired." Axl reached down and tilted Laurie's face up to his. "You're gonna be okay with someone replacing Izzy, right?"
She searched his face with her eyes, trying to find some hidden meaning there. "Of course I am, Axl. It's your decision; I'm not even in this band. You two aren't getting along anymore, that's all. I liked Gilby when we met him that first time."
Axl hesitated. "I just--I just wanted to make sure that you weren't gonna leave the tour to go be with him so you could raise the child together."
"Oh, Axl. Is that what you were worried about? Jesus Christ, no, I'd never do that." She kissed him. "I don't love Izzy. You know that."
"I know...I just wanted to make sure that what happened in '87 wouldn't happen again."
Laurie's face flushed. "You have no idea how much I regret doing that. I wish every day that I had just stayed with you; worked it out."
"Well, you came back, didn't you?" Axl brought her back on the bed, allowing her to press herself into the hollow of his body as best she could. "That's all that matters to me anymore, baby."
"Okay, Axl." They lay still for a while, listening to the rhythm of each other's heartbeats, then Axl got up and went to the hotel phone. He dialed Izzy's room number and, once the guitarist had picked up, said:
"Hey, Stradlin, get your shit and get out. We've got a replacement, and we don't need you anymore. I don't ever want to see your face again, get it?" Then he slammed the phone down and stormed into the bathroom to take a shower, and Laurie, lying on their bed, started crying again; unable to tell whether Axl was upset or not over the loss of his oldest friend.
~~~
The weeks went by, and the tour moved from Europe to Canada. In the first week of November, they arrived in New Brunswick and played a set at the Moncton Coliseum. After the show, the band moved backstage to greet fans and groupies. Laurie had just begun to massage Axl's shoulders (he was exhausted, having overworked his vocal chords so as to be heard over the static in the auditorium) when there was a loud, excited shout from the entrance to the main room, followed by a cry of:
"LAURIE STEVENS! Is that you?"
Laurie spun around; she knew that voice, from many years ago...
"Marie Stanley! Is that you?" (Marie was one of Laurie's oldest friends; the younger sister of Paul Stanley, she and Laurie had grown up together in Los Angeles but lost touch after high school.)
"Yeah, Laurie, it's me! How have you been?" They rushed forward and hugged. Marie reached down and touched Laurie's stomach.
"You're--"
"Yeah. It's Izzy's."
"Izzy Stradlin?" Marie was incredulous; she hadn't known that Laurie was in touch with Guns and definitely not that she was involved with two of them romantically.
Laurie nodded, sending Marie a message with her eyes not to ask anymore questions. Perhaps she received it, because suddenly her gaze shifted to the members of the band and she said:
"Are you going out with any of them?"
"Axl, yeah." Laurie made a gesture with her left hand, and Axl got up and walked over, slipping his arms around her waist from behind.
"Axl, this is my best friend, Marie. She's related to Paul Stanley. Marie, this is my--my soulmate, Axl Rose."
Axl nodded once at Marie. "'Sup?" he said, all cool.
Just then Slash came wandering out of his dressing room, wearing nothing but a towel, his body soaked in water. He was drying his hair with one hand and using the other to hold a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel's. When he caught sight of Marie, his eyes flickered in curiosity and he set down his drink.
"Hi," he said, walking over to them. "Who're you?"
Marie lowered her eyes, blushing furiously. "I'm Marie Stanley," she whispered. "Best friends with Laurie."
"Nice to meet you," said Slash, dropping his hair towel to shake her hand. Their skin made contact and Marie felt a jolt of electricity run up her arm, like a bolt of adrenaline. Her eyes flashed onto Slash's face; his irises were darker, more serious, than they had been in a long time.
"I'm--um--" Slash seemed at a loss for words for a moment, and Laurie laughed softly; unlike Axl, the guitarist was very shy and usually had trouble talking to girls he really liked. "I mean...are you free tonight?"
Marie's blush deepened. "Yes," she said. "I am."
"Great," said Slash, and he slipped one arm around her waist and led her away. As they disappeared into the dressing room together, Laurie and Axl exchanged glances and smiled; both had noticed one thing that would probably determine the outcome of the whole night for Marie:
Slash was still wearing nothing but his towel.
"His playing blended with yours," said Axl to Slash. "And he seems like a cool guy."
"I liked him," said Duff. "I like his style. He sounds kind of like Izzy."
Axl's eyes went dark, but only for a few seconds. "Only kind of," he muttered, and Slash and Duff exchanged glances.
"He's cool," said Matt, and Dizzy nodded in agreement.
"So he's in then?" asked Slash, and everyone nodded.
As Slash went back into the main room to tell Gilby the news, Axl leaned against the wall, head down, hand in his pocket. He sighed; there wasn't anything wrong with Gilby, but...he wasn't Izzy. His playing was different, not quite blended perfectly with Slash's, not quite on time with Matt's drumming and Dizzy's keyboarding, not quite in the harsh rhythm of Duff's bass playing. Still...
No one can ever be Izzy's exact replica. We'll just have to take what we can get, and what we can get is Gilby Clarke. I guess he'll be okay.
But, as Axl walked into the studio to smile and greet Gilby and welcome him into the Guns N' Roses family, he thought that there wasn't really any way things would be the same, ever again, now that Izzy Stradlin was gone.
~~~
When they returned to the hotel, Axl went straight up to his room and was surprised to find Laurie sitting on their bed, looking slightly tearful. He walked over and sat next to her, putting his arm around her shoulder, pressing his nose against her neck in a gesture of tenderness which surprised both of them in its rareness. It was as if they were both twenty-three again, living in 1985 in that dirty apartment building on the outskirts of Los Angeles.
"Hey, honey, are you okay?" he asked softly. "I haven't seen you look this depressed since--" He hesitated, not wanting to bring up the past-- "in a long, long time."
"I'm fine," whispered Laurie, sniffing, wiping her eyes and looking up to smile faintly at him. "How'd the audition go?"
"It was fine. Gilby's hired." Axl reached down and tilted Laurie's face up to his. "You're gonna be okay with someone replacing Izzy, right?"
She searched his face with her eyes, trying to find some hidden meaning there. "Of course I am, Axl. It's your decision; I'm not even in this band. You two aren't getting along anymore, that's all. I liked Gilby when we met him that first time."
Axl hesitated. "I just--I just wanted to make sure that you weren't gonna leave the tour to go be with him so you could raise the child together."
"Oh, Axl. Is that what you were worried about? Jesus Christ, no, I'd never do that." She kissed him. "I don't love Izzy. You know that."
"I know...I just wanted to make sure that what happened in '87 wouldn't happen again."
Laurie's face flushed. "You have no idea how much I regret doing that. I wish every day that I had just stayed with you; worked it out."
"Well, you came back, didn't you?" Axl brought her back on the bed, allowing her to press herself into the hollow of his body as best she could. "That's all that matters to me anymore, baby."
"Okay, Axl." They lay still for a while, listening to the rhythm of each other's heartbeats, then Axl got up and went to the hotel phone. He dialed Izzy's room number and, once the guitarist had picked up, said:
"Hey, Stradlin, get your shit and get out. We've got a replacement, and we don't need you anymore. I don't ever want to see your face again, get it?" Then he slammed the phone down and stormed into the bathroom to take a shower, and Laurie, lying on their bed, started crying again; unable to tell whether Axl was upset or not over the loss of his oldest friend.
~~~
The weeks went by, and the tour moved from Europe to Canada. In the first week of November, they arrived in New Brunswick and played a set at the Moncton Coliseum. After the show, the band moved backstage to greet fans and groupies. Laurie had just begun to massage Axl's shoulders (he was exhausted, having overworked his vocal chords so as to be heard over the static in the auditorium) when there was a loud, excited shout from the entrance to the main room, followed by a cry of:
"LAURIE STEVENS! Is that you?"
Laurie spun around; she knew that voice, from many years ago...
"Marie Stanley! Is that you?" (Marie was one of Laurie's oldest friends; the younger sister of Paul Stanley, she and Laurie had grown up together in Los Angeles but lost touch after high school.)
"Yeah, Laurie, it's me! How have you been?" They rushed forward and hugged. Marie reached down and touched Laurie's stomach.
"You're--"
"Yeah. It's Izzy's."
"Izzy Stradlin?" Marie was incredulous; she hadn't known that Laurie was in touch with Guns and definitely not that she was involved with two of them romantically.
Laurie nodded, sending Marie a message with her eyes not to ask anymore questions. Perhaps she received it, because suddenly her gaze shifted to the members of the band and she said:
"Are you going out with any of them?"
"Axl, yeah." Laurie made a gesture with her left hand, and Axl got up and walked over, slipping his arms around her waist from behind.
"Axl, this is my best friend, Marie. She's related to Paul Stanley. Marie, this is my--my soulmate, Axl Rose."
Axl nodded once at Marie. "'Sup?" he said, all cool.
Just then Slash came wandering out of his dressing room, wearing nothing but a towel, his body soaked in water. He was drying his hair with one hand and using the other to hold a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel's. When he caught sight of Marie, his eyes flickered in curiosity and he set down his drink.
"Hi," he said, walking over to them. "Who're you?"
Marie lowered her eyes, blushing furiously. "I'm Marie Stanley," she whispered. "Best friends with Laurie."
"Nice to meet you," said Slash, dropping his hair towel to shake her hand. Their skin made contact and Marie felt a jolt of electricity run up her arm, like a bolt of adrenaline. Her eyes flashed onto Slash's face; his irises were darker, more serious, than they had been in a long time.
"I'm--um--" Slash seemed at a loss for words for a moment, and Laurie laughed softly; unlike Axl, the guitarist was very shy and usually had trouble talking to girls he really liked. "I mean...are you free tonight?"
Marie's blush deepened. "Yes," she said. "I am."
"Great," said Slash, and he slipped one arm around her waist and led her away. As they disappeared into the dressing room together, Laurie and Axl exchanged glances and smiled; both had noticed one thing that would probably determine the outcome of the whole night for Marie:
Slash was still wearing nothing but his towel.
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