FicWad

Summary: John's keeping something from Reese. Will Reese get it out of him? / Reese sees that John is depressed and angry. Will John reveal what's going on, or will he push Reese away?

Feburary 14th, 2018

[Reese Alastair O'Connell's Point Of View]

"Mmmm..."
"Reese..." I heard an angelic voice speak.
"Murphen bem... Mm..." I unconsciously responded as something shook my arm.
What?!, I thought.
"Reese..!"
My eyes slowly opened, rolling around.
Where was I...?
Looking up, I saw Josephine's beautiful brown eyes. I smiled warily.
"We here?"
She nodded and smiled at me before smirking and winking at someone in front of me.
"Hmmm..?" I asked before realizing I was being carried "piggy-back style".
Who's neck are my arms around?, I wondered. The person's shoulders are broad and strong... Who -is- this?
I just wanted to feel them. They looked so strong... I decided against it, but my curiosity got the best of me. Slowly, I slid my hands back until they were around the person's shoulders. I gently squeezed and looked up in front of me, seeing short, blond hair.
"O-Oh!" I practically yelled, blushing.
"Heh... H-Hey, Reese," said the husky, warm voice. I could tell he was smiling. I snuggled my best friend from behind, extremely tired from today's mission. He was so warm. I loved it.
"Hey, John. Where are we exactly?" I asked, peaking up around his neck to see his face. Though my once burning cheeks from embarrassment cooled down, his were still a radiant red. My stomach flipped and I suddenly had butterflies.
What is this? I thought.
I pushed the thought aside as he answered, "We're back at base... Ummm..."
"John..?"
"Y-Yeah... I just... I'll take you to your ch-chamber," he finished.
I opened my mouth to protest but decided to keep quiet. I didn't want to walk. I was extremely tired and I can't stress that enough. Plus, I needed to talk to him about the look he had on his face this morning. He looked so hurt... So depressed, lonely, and upset. I just nodded as John carried me to my chamber, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly. Josephine laughed as John muttered incoherently. I sighed, very confused of their secret joke.
"I'm glad you're safe, Reese..." suddenly said John. He glanced up at me and I smiled.
"It's good to be back," I replied as he set me down.
Furrowing my eyebrows, I said, "We need to talk..."
Grabbing hold of his hand tightly, I yanked him inside and shut the door, locking it.
"What's up?" I asked, narrowing my eyes and crossing my arms.
"What do you mean?"
He was trying to act cool. I narrowed my eyes even more, scrunching up my nose a bit. He just shrugged and plopped onto my bed, putting his hands behind his head. Sighing, I sat down and pinched the bridge of my nose, rubbing it between my index finger and thumb.
"You looked... Upset this morning..." I finally whispered.
I looked up at him. His eyes were wide in shock.
"You noticed that...?" he seemed to mouth. I wasn't to sure, so I pressed again.
"What's. Up?"
His eyes were calm again. He shrugged and sat up.
"Nothing..."
That got me fired up. Heated. My best friend won't tell me what was wrong! We told each other everything since we met and became friends at our mothers' book club meeting! I got up and grabbed him by the shirt.
"John, Goddammit! TELL ME!"
I shook him fiercely and began to feel tears stream down my face, but pretended not to notice. He raised his hand and wiped my tears as my lips parted from anger, hurt, and perplexity.
"John..." I breathed.
He looked into my eyes, his brown ones filled with the same emotions as that morning with lust and love accompanying them. He shook his head.
"No."
We were frozen there in silence as tears rolled down my cheeks.
What have I done to make my best friend hate me enough to keep secrets from me?, I thought.
After what seemed like hours of silence, John quietly got up and moved to the door. I was still frozen, hands curled in the air from my holding of his shirt, my still eyes wide as tears spilled from them.
He glanced at me and whispered, "Goodnight, O'Connell," before unlocking the door and leaving. The sound of the door shutting seemed so loud. It echoed and hurt my ears. The silence was deafening.
"Goodnight, McCloud," I whispered into the darkness before falling onto my side, sobbing pointlessly and pathetically onto my bed.
"John has a secret..!" I cried into my pillow. "And he won't tell me..!"

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[John Collin McCloud's Point Of View]

My brown eyes swept over his face. He looked like a little kid, sleeping so peacefully. I picked him up and carried him on my back.
"Whatcha up to?" I heard a bell-like voice say.
"Gah!" I jumped, nearly waking up Reese. I froze as he stirred and went back to cuddling my back.
"Jesus Christ, Rivers!"
Josephine laughed and smirked.
"You didn't answer my question. What're you doing?" she asked, gesturing to Reese on my back. I huffed and chewed on lip.
She knew everything! Why was she asking?!
"I'm..." I started, looking around nervously, searching for the right words.
"I'm... Taking him to his uh... Chamber! Pfft. He should sleep in his bed, not on the helicopter floor..."
Yeah! That's it... Hah...
I wanted to take care of him in my room, not anywhere else. I know, that sounds really weird and creepy but... I just wanted him with me. Near me.
"Uh-huh... I'm waking him up," said Josephine.
"NO!" I hissed, reaching for her. It was too late.
"Reese..." she murmured.
"Mmmm..." he responded. I rolled my eyes.
Great... He's gonna wake up.
"Reese..."
"Murphem bem... Mmmm..."
I sighed.
Little bitch ruins everything.
"Reese..!" she said, shaking his arm around my neck. I felt him stir again.
Aww, fuck!
"We here..?" said Reese sleepily. Josephine nodded and smiled before she smirked and winked at me. My face began to burn.
"Hmmm..?" asked Reese.
I felt his eyes burn holes into the back of my neck. I stayed quiet.
Shit, shit, shit...
I felt his hands slide down slowly to my shoulders. It was almost like he was teasing me seductively. It was pathetic. I nearly let out a moan at his touch as he squeezed them.
"O-Oh!" yelled Reese.
"Heh... H-Hey, Reese," I replied, scratching the side of my nose nervously.
"Hey, John. Where are we exactly?"
"We're back at base... Ummm..." I replied.
'Would you like to rest in -my- chamber tonight?'... No, I can't ask him that...
"John?" he asked.
"Y-Yeah... I just... I'll take you to your ch-chamber," I replied instead. He nodded and I carried him to his room.
"Fuckin' bitch... Don't say shit," I muttered under my breath. Josephine laughed as Reese sighed. I chewed on my lip nervously.
"I'm glad you're safe, Reese..." I said in order to break the ice. I glanced at him as he smiled.
Too cute...
I set him down in front of his chamber door gently as he replied, "It's good to be back." I looked at him before leaving. His eyebrows were furrowed. He looked angry.
"We need to talk," he announced, grabbing my hand. I was suddenly yanked inside. I blinked, watching him close and lock the door, my face having a puzzled look.
"Whats up?" he asked, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes. He looked like a sassy little girl. I bit back a laugh.
"What do you mean?"
He narrowed his eyes more and wrinkled his nose a bit. Honestly, I had no clue what he was talking about. I shrugged and fell back onto his bed, resting my hands behind my head. I bit back a chuckle as he sighed, frustrated. He pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You looked... Upset this morning..." he said. My eyes widened as my stomach knotted. My unfocused eyes stared at the wall behind his head.
He looked up at me as I mouthed, "You noticed that..?"
How did he..? Holy fuck! I... What..? The Hell am I supposed to..?
He saw that...
"What's. Up?" he repeated. He didn't seem to notice that I was in shock, so I decided to act cool and dismiss it as nothing.
No... I can't tell him...
I shrugged and sat up.
"Nothing," I replied.
Suddenly, Reese grabbed me by th shirt and shook me fiercely.
"John, Goddammit, TELL ME!" Tears began to spill out of his eyes and down his cheeks.
Strange, I thought.
I lifted my hands and wiped his tears. His lips parted. I was tempted to trace his handsome lips and press mine to them. I held back.
"John," he breathed. I loved the way he said my name.
I looked back into his clear blue eyes lovingly, probably having the same look from this morning.
How could I tell Reese..? How could I tell him..?
I shook my head.
"No."
I looked at him, waiting for him to respond. He just sat there, eyes still, tears spilling out, hands gripping my shirt. I waited, but I could tell he was hurt.
I'm sorry.
I quietly got up and moved to the door. I glanced at him. He was frozen. His eyes were still unblinking, his hands still curled in the air from grabbing my shirt.
"Goodnight, O'Connell," I whispered before unlocking the door and trudging out. I stood outside and leaned against his door, hearing him say, "Goodnight, McCloud," in a muffled tone. I couldn't make my legs move. My whole body trembled. Slowly, I slid to the ground as I heard Reese thump onto the bed and cry.
I'm so sorry, Reese...
"John has a secret..! And he won't tell me...!" I heard him sob.
That did it. I felt ashamed for making my best friend cry. I felt like a pathetic coward.

But I couldn't tell him. He'd hate me

I couldn't tell Reese that I fell for him.

That I've liked him since I was 16 years old.

That I am now in love with him.

I just can't...